About Your Pride and My Prejudice

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It was late at night when my maid had already gone home. I sat alone with a candle lit and lost in thought.

Night sharpens the senses. The crisp knock on the door and the butler’s heavy voice were as clear as if they could be heard right next to me.

“He’s waiting.”

When I heard that, I rose up without hesitation while my head turned white with uncontrollable excitement and unexpected fear. Like someone who’s been waiting for this moment.

I couldn’t afford to dress up immaculately, so I was wearing only a thin, beautiful shawl.

I tried to stay calm as I walked down the darkened hallway behind the butler with the lamp. Of course it wasn’t easy. I thought my heart was going to pop out of my mouth just thinking that I was getting closer to him.

Just thinking about what to say and what kind of expression I should make, made my head spin. I was dazed as if walking on water.

But something was wrong. The butler is leading me to a whole new place. The terrace had already passed, and neither the office nor the dining hall was in this direction.

As I went into the depth of the main building for such a long time, it was the end of the hallway. There was a door, and a faint scent of rose vines flowed through the crack of the door with a faint light.

Even though no one told me, I intuitively thought that this was Alan’s bedroom.

“Umm, here….”

I looked at the butler, but he only blinked quietly as if to let me in. At this point, the person inside the room would have already noticed the presence of the people outside.

“Whoo.”

I gathered my still wet hair together, hung it over one shoulder, and took a deep breath.  Then, with trembling hands, I grabbed the doorknob and turned it.

Squeak, the sound of the door opening was exceptionally loud. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but I blushed. A flood of light washed over me, and I couldn’t raise my head and just looked down at my feet, staring at the floor with dark wood woven in a delicate Chevron pattern.

It was not until I heard the door close behind my back that I raised my head as if I had woken up.

A soft fragrance wafted through the room, where candles softly illuminate the darkness. The opulent, dark wood furnishing gave the room a majestic yet cozy atmosphere.

Pale golden light shimmered across the elegant burgundy wallpaper, and the person sitting in front of the table in the middle of the room was the owner of this beautiful mansion.

It was my Alan whom I dreamed of.

“Ah…….”

I froze without even greeting him. It was because I remembered a summer night when I was busy picking the harshest words and hurting him. I was scared because I couldn’t tell what he was thinking as he sat without an expression.

Just like when we first met here in the basement, Alan had a somewhat disheveled appearance, especially his clothes. He didn’t button up his shirt and his solid chest was exposed.

Seeing Alan in that state, my face was strangely heateds like it’s about to explode.

I stood silently staring at him for a while, then Alan lowered his arm under the sofa and picked up something. Then he got up and walked towards me. He will be the only man who can walk so gracefully and upright with such a tall height and wide shoulders.

What he held in his hand was a bunch of lilacs.

“A promise is a promise.”

“…….”

That was his first word. In an instant, a pile of purple flowers came into my arms. As soon as the sweet scent of flowers tickled the tip of my nose, my whole body relaxed for some reason. I felt a strange sense of emptiness.

Suddenly, Alan stood behind my back and grabbed my shoulder with his large hands.  It was a light touch, as if pressing musical keys.

I almost collapsed because there was nothing unprovoked about the slightly lower body temperature and seductive scent that came from behind.

He led me to the table as if escorting me, and before I knew it, we sat face to face. On the table was a bottle of wine with a beautiful pattern engraved on it, two glasses and a fruit and cheese platter.

He was drinking.

“….Now you called me when you were drunk?”

And this was my first word. Somehow, the words came out in a rather rough tone.

Alan just laughed like the wind.

“It’s not because I’m drunk.”

A faint wave of light flickered over his pale cheeks. The sight completely disarmed me. When I met him, I couldn’t remember what I was going to say or the expression I was going to make.

I was so nervous and hot-headed, but Alan just seemed calm and cool. His relaxed and elegant appearance was no different from his usual self whereas I’ve been thinking about everyday for the past month. I felt a sudden pang of sadness.

I mustered up the most venomous look and voice I could.

“……If you brought me here, shouldn’t you have at least some level of responsibility? No matter how busy you are.”

It was quite aggressive and reprehensible to me. I was embarrassed belatedly because I didn’t think it was something to say with the bouquet I received from him in my arms, but there was no reason to stop here, so I quickly added another word.

“I wrote a lot in my novel while you were away. Getting ready to leave here…….”

“…….”

Instead of answering, Alan quietly pulled the corners of his mouth up.

“It’ll…… be good.”

It’s a lie that I wrote a lot for my novel, but he wouldn’t have noticed, would he?

The part I’m writing now is when Troy suddenly disappeared without a trace one day, and the main character’s sluggish monologue continued.

But now that I’ve met Alan again, I think I’ll be able to write a lot tomorrow.….

“Do you want a drink?”

Alan asked, pouring the wine into an empty glass and putting it in front of me. The gentle smile, and the straight, long fingers still wrapped languidly around the bottle neck, were so beautiful that I was grumpy again.

“……I don’t drink. Don’t avoid answering.”

“…….”

“If you were going to completely forget it just because you were a little busy with work, from the beginning……!”

Then he swallowed a sip of alcohol. It was just the liquid had simply passed inside the throat, but the slightly raised chin, closed eyes, and the sound of swallowing alcohol were too erotic.

Does Alan know what he looks like right now in my eyes? Of course, he doesn’t know, but in order not to be caught, I hurriedly shifted my possessed gaze to the table. Then, I gently put down the bouquet to where my gaze touched.

Then Alan said,

“It wasn’t just about work.”

“Do you call that an answer—”

“I’ve never forgotten.”

At his words, I raised my head. It was a purely unconscious act. The wind knocked the shawl around my shoulder to the floor, and Alan grinned softly with his wet lips.

……I’m embarrassed.

I closed my eyes tightly. At that very moment, it occurred to me that I had to apologize for the abusive words I spouted before.

Although I’m still not convinced that Alan didn’t hurt Tobias yet,

—You’re no different to a murderer…….

If I didn’t intend to apologize for saying that, I shouldn’t have answered his call in the first place. If I still hate him so much, it doesn’t make sense to sit face to face like this.

“What I said last time…….”

“Melissa.”

But Alan cut me off. The cool eyes were deep. The moment our eyes met, my heart that had been trying to fight against him with my humble pride melted away like snow.

In fact, there was no chance of winning from the start.

“Remember when I said I was weak?”

“…….”

Of course I remember. Even that night there was a glass between us. I begged Alan to let me send a letter to the kingdom, and he refused too lightly. I shot back angrily, saying he just enjoys bullying the weak.

—There’s one thing you’ve overlooked,

That’s when Alan, obviously, answered that.

—I’m the weak, Melissa. So I want you to feel sorry for me.

I don’t know how overwhelmed I was. He’s never been in, or near, the weak in his life. I’m the one standing against the weak. I was purely outraged as one of the weaks.

Alan told an incredible story as he was forced to crumple his brows again.

“Actually, I’m an orphan. Without a family.”

“……What are you…….”

“I mean I was adopted.”

He’s not an illegitimate child but an adopted child?

I couldn’t even think of closing my open mouth, but I was just looking at him. It was unbelievable, but his eyes were too deep and distant to be considered a joke.

“I was five years old when Ian Leopold picked me up. I used to believe that I got my lost father back, but soon I realized that everything was a lie.”

“That….”

“I’ve been looking for my parents like crazy ever since. Without anyone knowing.”

As he said so, Alan lowered his voice as if it were a secret story. His voice, which was already low, became deeper and more secretive.

(T/N: the POV shifts to Alan)

Did they really abandon me, or was there an accident? When I was young, it was more important than anything in the world to be convinced that I wasn’t abandoned. Well, actually, I didn’t know I was abandoned. I was hoping it was due to some unavoidable circumstances.

I didn’t know the name or location of the orphanage where I was. When I finally went out to the outside world, I had to climb into a large carriage without even having to appreciate the scenery. I became relaxed and fell asleep right away. And as soon as I got out of the carriage, I became Alan Leopold.

In the meantime, it wasn’t enough to search all the orphanages in the kingdom, so I went to the slums across the country. It is quite common for beggars to abandon or sell their children. However, I still haven’t been able to find any traces of them, probably because they aren’t normal people. That’s why I’m so eager to do charity work even when I come to the Principality.

The reason why I didn’t run away, cursing the family even though I knew the truth, and I lived as a faithful successor, was to get revenge. That’s all. Because I can’t forgive the man who tricked me into being a chess piece, the arrogant man who made my life his medal.  To break him down in the most perfect way.

Alan smiled self-deprecatingly after the story. His smile broke my heart.

“What do you say, Melissa?”

He whispered.

“Do you feel sorry for me now?”

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