About Your Pride and My Prejudice

Chapter 99: We Are Not Lovers

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“Miss!”

It was Sandra’s voice that woke me up. She’s as cheerful as ever

Alan seemed to have left early in the morning. There was no faint warmth left in the place where he laid. I slept so soundly that I couldn’t even hear him go out, let alone say hello.

I could still smell the alluring scent of the rose garden, but I couldn’t tell if it was a mark he left behind or if it was coming from my body.

“Good morning. Yesterday….”

Sandra’s face was inevitably brightened because she strangely put strength on the word “Yesterday.”

“……He left without even saying hello. Ahem.”

“Is that so?”

Not long ago, when Sandra found out about the red marks left on my body, Sandra washed me as usual, I wondered if she would be able to ask openly. Nevertheless, it was very embarrassing to see her curious.

“Miss, now…….”

Sandra, who approached me and touched my hair, hinted.

“You can’t say you’re not in a relationship with the young master, can you?”

“……Huh?”

“I knew everything. In the end, his sincerity will work.”

In embarrassment, I couldn’t easily answer. Between me and Alan…… We did it twice.… It’s true (that the sincerity worked), but he and I are lovers?

“……We are not lovers.”

I watched helplessly as Sandra’s face was stained with disappointment and wonder at the words. What can I do? He didn’t promise me anything, he didn’t make any oaths.

Of course I didn’t ask for anything either. Because I was afraid of the answer that would come back.

In fact, this is not always possible only between lovers. And I’m not miserable or sad even if we’re not lovers. Rather…

—Melissa.

I was so happy that I couldn’t breathe.

—I can’t breathe, Melissa.

I had thought countless times that I wanted to become him and hug him, even for a single day, but the moment my heart touched his, I had the illusion that I was Alan and he was me. That’s how much we’ve completely melted into each other.

What if it’s not a privilege to see his cold, flawless skin like the surface of a plaster statue wet with light sweat, and to hear his noble lips calling my name like begging?

As I drank sweetly the delights he gave me, I thought, will I be able to experience more than this in the future? Maybe I can’t.

I can’t help but feel a little scared when I think about it like that, but…….

“Even if he’s not my lover, he values me.”

Still, I smiled brightly.

“That’s for sure.”

He cherishes me not because I’m Melissa Collins, but because I’m a woman. He’s a gentleman. Maybe I’m not the only one who hugs and kisses him. I don’t know his daily life except when he comes back to the mansion very occasionally.

But I decided not to think about it. Just monopolizing him for a moment is enough to die for. Let’s just focus on savoring the happiness that lingers like an aftertaste.

It would be nice if I could capture this feeling in the novel. When I thought this far, I felt rushed.

Memories tend to fade little by little as time goes by. So I needed to hurry. The moment when this feeling is most vivid is always the present. So don’t stop the pen, Melissa.

Oh right, I have my own ritual that I do before I write. I always make sure to wear his scent before sitting in front of the manuscript.

The hairpin resembling a cherry blossom tree was placed where it could be easily seen. It was to imagine looking at his expression and feeling the moments I felt his faint breath while writing. Sometimes I gently patted it too. I wrote down the letters one by one.

Eventually, the two people in my novel also confirmed each other’s feelings.  They will soon become lovers. My heart was fluttering with no regrets.

‘Because this place where you are is my home.’

“……Ah.”

Like a person who has no intention of conserving manuscript paper, mistakes have increased these days. It is because I only have to refer to what had happened between him and me, but I inadvertently write down everything.

“This place where you are is my home…..”

I read it aloud for nothing, before I drew a black line over the few lines where Alan had appeared instead of Troy. It was such an ecstatic statement that I was afraid of whether I would hear it.

I may not be the only one to hear it, but I cried a little because it was so overwhelming that it was hard to describe.

Even if he doesn’t feel the same way as me, he values me. It was the only thing that was certain. Was it in his plan for me to learn about this? It’s a shame if it wasn’t meant to be, but he’s completely caught.

Alan tried to never hurt me. His eyes carefully examined my face when I made a small noise, and his hands loosened when he held me.

So I tried to stay as quiet and calm as possible throughout my time with Alan. Because I wanted him to crave me a little more, and I didn’t want him to put up with that clumsy feeling. Of course, it was almost impossible to pretend to be calm by his side, but…….

Anyway, he treated me like a sugar cookie that crumbled at the slightest touch. His eyes were so passionate that he could burn me to ashes right away, but sometimes he was overbearing and arrogant, but his touch was different.

Especially those lips…….

While I was eating, drinking tea, I automatically remembered Alan when something touched my lips. The sweet touch that his red lips had on me. Then, my fingers will become numb, and I would feel nervous as if I were walking on clouds.

This alone was difficult to get used to.

“What kind of conversation do you have?”

Sandra’s curiosity showed no signs of stopping, which was a big deal. On my way back from eating……. Now she doesn’t hesitate to ask about my and Alan’s story.

“It’s a long night. What are you talking about for a long time?”

“……You didn’t read my novel secretly, did you?”

I was just writing that part.

“What? Did you write that? Can I see it?”

“……No.”

“You’re so mean, miss!”

The way she pouted her lips like a sparrow made me smile. It is interesting that this side of Sandra is starting to feel less and less insignificant. As a maid who knows Alan’s childhood, she must be both proud and curious that the master, who was a little boy, has grown into a handsome man.

“There’s nothing special about the conversation…….”

“Oh my! You don’t even have time to talk? Oh my, oh my!”

(T/N: she’s is indicating that they were so busy with *ahem* that they didn’t even have time for conversation)

“………I feel like a fool.”

Sandra let out a small laugh as I complained softly. I quickly continued with a nonchalant vibe.

“I guess things aren’t going well these days. He looked tired.”

“Oh, that’s true. There was a buzz in the newspaper not too long ago.”

“In the newspaper?”

Sandra had serious eyes when I stopped and asked back.

“Yes! There was a lady who was flirting with the young master and he had a conflict with her……. Didn’t you hear the details?”

“No, I don’t know much about business. I just said I wish he could come more often, and he said he’ll try.”

His voice is so deep and mellow that he sounds like a pushover in every word. I love the words that he speaks of effortlessly.

“It’s good.”

“That’s right. That’s such a good thing.”

I hurried my steps to get out, gathering my voluminous hair to one side. It is because I can take a walk in the garden after that day. It was natural that walking in the garden became a daily routine after eating.

“You’re going for a walk, aren’t you? I’m going to clean up the cluttered clothes.”

“Yes. See you later, Sandra.”

Of course, guards stood guard at the main gate, but it didn’t bother me much. I wouldn’t have gone out even if there weren’t any guards standing there.  Finally, Alan started to open up to me.

One day, we might be able to walk hand in hand even on the sunset street of Lunos, not in the bedroom. If that day comes, he might end up telling me. I love you. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting so long.

I strode gently over the soft meadows in the afternoon sun. The smell of fallen leaves filling the lungs was just ecstatic. Can I be happy like this?

“Are you sure you’re being restrained?”

I grinned from ear to ear. The sun was not strong, but it was a dazzling day when even the shadows sparkled.

As a mansion in the shape of an ancient castle, the garden was wide enough to make my mouth open. I didn’t go beyond the big tree looking down from the window of my room for a while because I might get lost if I walk blankly, but today was a nice day, so I wanted to go a little more.

As I reached the dense evergreen shrub forest, the smell of fresh trees deepened. It was a completely new place from here. In the sight of small, light green leaves lined up endlessly, I diligently captured the surrounding scenery like a young animal who had just opened her eyes.

It was a perfect day just up to here. Beautiful farmhouse garden with beautiful weather that is considered a blessing. Indeed everything.

But in the end I had to regret going there. I saw a scene that I didn’t even want to see in my dream.

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