33 “I want to take care of you”
However, this was destined to be difficult to achieve at present. After all, Gu Jiuci’s role had just begun.
Tang Ziyou and Gu Jiuci shot in a row for several days, and finally, they arrived to shoot the scene of being possessed.
Fu Yongsi was accused by thousands of people. Sheng Feiguang looked at his master’s plight and didn’t understand why his master had been good in his life but was slandered by others, just as he had never figured out why his parents just saved a person, but they were killed.
What was right, what was evil, what was right, and what was wrong. Sheng Feiguang asked himself over and over again, but there was no answer. Only the heart demon kept growing, enticing him into demon.
“You already have my mental cultivation methods, don’t you? As long as you are willing to learn, then you can avenge your parents and vent your anger for your master.”
“Don’t you want to avenge your parents? Are you willing to accept your master’s injustice?”
“Sheng Feiguang, Fu Yongsi has been protecting you for so many years, so your heart, can you bear him being insulted like this?”
“In this world, the strong person is respected. If I were you, whoever killed my parents, I would kill him, and whoever humiliated my master, I would never let them open their mouths again.”
“And you, you can’t do anything. You are a coward.”
“I’m not!” Sheng Feiguang refuted.
“Then you can prove it to me, do you dare? Do you have this strength?”
Sheng Feiguang didn’t. He closed his eyes and decided to be possessed at this moment.
The heart demon let out a pleasant laugh, coaxing, “That’s right. Why resist me so much? We are one.”
The filming of this scene was relatively late. It was cold and Tang Ziyou didn’t wear too much. After the filming, he was sneezing and fell ill the next day.
Seeing that his face wasn’t so good, Liu Xu asked him, “Or take a break today?”
Tang Ziyou refused, “It’s all right. There is still my play today.”
Liu Xu had to give him medicine and accompany him to put on makeup.
After putting on makeup, Tang Ziyou’s complexion looked much better, but he was still sneezing.
When Gu Jiuci left the set, he saw him coughing quietly while holding a water glass.
“Have a cold?” he asked.
Tang Ziyou nodded, “It’s not serious.”
Gu Jiuci frowned, “You usually have a cold for a week, right? Especially in the first two days, the symptoms are quite obvious.”
Tang Ziyou froze for a moment, but he didn’t expect him to remember it.
Liu Xu looked at Gu Jiuci and then at Tang Ziyou, without speaking.
“Go back and rest.” Gu Jiuci said, “Go and ask Director Wang for a leave. You are in such a state today that you’re not suitable for shooting.”
“It’s all right.” Tang Ziyou refused. “It’s not a serious illness. I don’t have many scenes today, so there’s no problem.”
Gu Jiuci didn’t think so, but he didn’t dare to speak much in front of Tang Ziyou now, because he was afraid that he would sick of him, so he just said, “Then you pay attention and tell the director in time if you feel uncomfortable.”
“Okay.” Tang Ziyou said.
Gu Jiuci looked at him talking and sneezing again. He felt that his cold seemed really serious.
After ten o’clock, Tang Ziyou put down his water glass and prepared to go to the filming.
Director Wang found out that he wasn’t in the right state, “Xiao Tang, do you have a cold?”
“En.”
“Then you take a break today.” Director Wang said.
Tang Ziyou shook his head and just wanted to say that it wasn’t serious, he sneezed again.
Director Wang smiled, “You see, it’s not easy if you sneeze at every shoot, so don’t hold on. Take a rest for a day and wait until your condition is better before taking a shoot.”
Tang Ziyou was a little embarrassed, “I don’t want to slow down the crew’s progress.”
“It’s all right.” Director Wang smiled, “Who doesn’t have a headache yet, rest as soon as it is time to rest, and make up for it later.”
When he said this, Tang Ziyou didn’t insist anymore. He took off his makeup, changed clothes, and went back to the hotel.
Seeing that he wasn’t in good condition, Liu Xu took him a cup of hot water and advised him to rest early.
Tang Ziyou was also obedient. After drinking the water, he lay down on the bed and was ready to sleep.
This time he slept very peacefully. It wasn’t until the afternoon that Tang Ziyou slowly woke up.
He leaned on the bed and called the hotel attendant to bring up a bowl of porridge and snacks.
When he was eating, there was a knock on the door. Tang Ziyou walked over and opened the door and found that it was Gu Jiuci.
“I’m giving you some boxes of medicine.” Gu Jiuci handed out the small bag in his hand.
Tang Ziyou didn’t answer, “I’ve already eaten it.”
“I know.” Gu Jiuci said, “Liu Xu told me, but the medicines she prepared before didn’t seem to be useful. You have taken too many times, so they are all drug-resistant. These are the new medicines you changed for colds in recent times. It seems they can work better. I bought them specifically for you.”
Hearing this, Tang Ziyou didn’t know what he was like for a while.
He did say something like this before, it was too common to catch a cold. If you took too much medicine, it wouldn’t work immediately.
However, because it was a cold, as long as you took medicine, you would get better. The difference was the length of time, so Tang Ziyou just talked about it casually, taking whatever medicine was around.
Unexpectedly, he even remembered.
“Take it,” Gu Jiuci replied, “Don’t you want to get better soon and shoot early?”
“Thank you. I will transfer the money to you later.” Tang Ziyou said politely.
Gu Jiuci was helpless, “I’m not a drug seller. Do I want your money?”
He looked at Tang Ziyou and said seriously, “I just care about you.”
Tang Ziyou didn’t want his concern, nor did he want to pull with him at the door, so he took the bag in his hand and whispered, “Goodbye.”
Gu Jiuci immediately reached out and held the door to stop his movement, “I wanted to see you at noon, but Liu Xu said that you were asleep, so I waited. I just heard there was a movement here and the waiter said you get up, so I came here.”
Tang Ziyou nodded, “Thank you.”
“Have you eaten? I’ll order the porridge for you, you now…”
“I’m eating.” Tang Ziyou interrupted him.
Gu Jiuci didn’t feel embarrassed when he heard the words. He just said, “That’s good. You can eat more.”
“En.” After he finished speaking, he was about to close the door.
However, Gu Jiuci didn’t let go. Tang Ziyou was puzzled, “Do you have anything else to say?”
Gu Jiuci looked at him, seemingly hesitant, but he still asked, “Don’t you want to see me?”
He said, “You used to be sick and always wanted to see me. You hope I can accompany you. Now, don’t you need it?”
Tang Ziyou’s hand holding the door frame unconsciously tightened. He remembered the scene of his previous illness. At that time, he really wanted to see Gu Jiuci and wanted to hug him.
In fact, he had always liked Gu Jiuci’s hug. Every time Gu Jiuci hugged him, he would feel very relieved. It seemed that he could relax and have a rest for a while, but it just seemed to be nothing.
“No need,” he said.
“But I want to accompany you.” Gu Jiuci said.
“It’s not necessary.” Tang Ziyou looked at him, “You go back.”
“I took care of you when you were sick.” Gu Jiuci said in a low voice, “Since I saw you in the hospital.”
The tone of his words was somewhat aggrieved as if he had deprived him of his rights. Tang Ziyou was a little helpless, but also a bit at a loss.
Gu Jiuci was right. Since they met in the hospital, he took care of his grandfather, but occasionally he couldn’t bear it. Gu Jiuci took care of him and advised him to pay attention to his body so that he could take care of his grandfather better.
Later they got engaged. Except for him when he went out to work, at other times, as long as he was sick, Gu Jiuci would take care of him patiently.
He was gentle and affectionate only when taking care of him, like a real lover, responsive, considerate, and serious.
Sometimes, Tang Ziyou even felt that it would be good if he could keep getting sick. Of course, it shouldn’t be a serious illness, but a minor illness. In this way, Gu Jiuci would always treat him kindly.
Fortunately, he just thought about it then and didn’t do anything to harm his body.
He sighed silently, “No need, we have nothing to do anymore.”
“But I promised your grandpa, I will take care of you.”
Tang Ziyou opened the door and let him walk in. He had a hunch that Gu Jiuci wouldn’t leave easily, so he didn’t want to keep talking with him at the door.
He closed the door and said calmly, “Gu Jiuci, those are all gone. I can take care of myself, I don’t need you.”
“Those are past, but the promise will not expire.”
“There is no need to take care of everything.” He said, “Just like what you did before, you don’t need to care about me, don’t like me, let alone treat me well. If I need help, I will go to you. Isn’t this possible?”
Gu Jiuci said awkwardly, “But, I liked you before.”
He said, “Although I didn’t show it, I like you. If you let me do the same as before, would you allow me to continue to like you silently?”
Tang Ziyou: ……
Tang Ziyou was silent.
Gu Jiuci continued, “Besides, you were sick before. As long as you tell me, I will take care of you. So, are you willing to let me take care of you now?”
Tang Ziyou: ……
“Do you have to change your concept like this?”
“But what I said is also the truth.”
Tang Ziyou had a headache, “Gu Jiuci, we’re over. We are over. Do you understand?”
He looked at the person in front of him, “Our engagement has been cancelled and the ring has been thrown away. Why are you so persistent?”
“Haven’t you been persistent before?” Gu Jiuci said.
“So I woke up.” Tang Ziyou pointed at himself, trying very hard to make him understand, “Look at me. What can you see from me? The failure of force, the painful lesson, the unbearable past. Don’t these explain the problem?”
“One’s own wishful thinking of obsession is simply unnecessary at all, do you understand?”
“I understand.” Gu Jiuci said, “But, isn’t it okay? You’ve been hurt by your persistent here. It doesn’t make sense if I get through in one piece and retreat, unscathed, right?”
He looked at Tang Ziyou, “You can reject me or dislike me. You can treat me like I did to you before. Maybe one day, I will wake up like you and then leave. Maybe I can stick to it all the time and wait for you to look back. This is all possible. You have been persistent once, so I should also be persistent once so that I can be worthy of your previous liking, isn’t it?”
“Otherwise, I keep saying that I actually like you, but I don’t do anything. After you leave, I will still be the same as before. I don’t care about you or listen to it. Then what I said to you, wouldn’t all become lies?”
“You are tired now, sober. You don’t want to like me, dare not like me, I can understand. But I like you. As long as I still like you, I can’t really ignore you, regardless of it (不管不顾, refers to not taking care of others; also refers to reckless behaviour and disregard for others; here). Of course, I also know that at this time, I leave freely, give you freedom, give me space, for both of us, which are quite confident and at ease, but this way, will you not feel uncomfortable? Wouldn’t you doubt that I really liked you? Wouldn’t you come to a halt the next time you meet someone you like?”
“Tang Ziyou, I was very angry when I was pursued by you and forced to get engaged, but I knew that you liked me and I could feel your love. That’s why I have always been very confident and convinced you won’t leave.”
“Perhaps this kind of self-confidence is a bit blind, so when you first left, I felt that you were playing hard to get, but this doesn’t prevent me. I’m confident in this relationship. I know that I’m loved and I know I deserve to be liked, but what about you? Do you know?”
“Do you know that you’re loved? Do you know that you deserve to be loved? Will you continue to move forward the next time you meet the person you like?”
“I hope you know.” Gu Jiuci said softly, “So I can’t do nothing and I won’t do nothing.”
“Regardless of whether we can be together again, but, what I owe you, I have to give it back to you. I gave up my rest time and ran here. I reduced the price to play the role of this drama, not for other people, but for you, just for you. I appear in front of you again and again because I like you.”
“No one likes to pester someone with the possibility of being rejected continuously after being rejected. You used to be once and so I’m now. However, I need to make you feel the feeling that I owe you. I hope you know that you are loved by me and you are worthy of being loved.”
“In this way, when you think about this relationship in the future, even if the ending is not good, you will know that ‘it’s not that I’m not good enough, so he doesn’t love me, but we’re too young and don’t consider it carefully. I love him too early, he loves me too late’. Just this and nothing more.”
Tang Ziyou didn’t speak anymore.
This was what he didn’t expect Gu Jiuci would say.
Does he know he is loved? Does he know he is worthy of love? Will he still go forward the next time he meets the person he likes?
He didn’t know, neither did he.
He thought that Gu Jiuci’s pursuit of him was only regrettable after losing it, so he wanted to redeem it.
Tang Ziyou believed what his so-called ‘likes’, but only believed.
He didn’t want to feel it, nor did he feel that he had felt it during that time. However, he seemed to feel something.
At this moment, Tang Ziyou finally felt that for the first time, Gu Jiuci probably really liked him.
That’s why he thought of these, that’s why he wanted to communicate with himself in a different way, and that’s why he stubbornly appeared in front of him.
It wasn’t that he didn’t know that he wanted space and needed space to forget him. He just knew too well that once he really gave this space, the likes he once said would be like ghosts, false and doubtful.
He just didn’t want him to misunderstand his likes, let alone want him to become inferior and unwilling to love because of his mistakes.
They had a lot of misunderstandings, so Gu Jiuci didn’t want to let himself misunderstand him again.
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