After Transmigrating into a Book, I Have an Entire Family of Cannon Fodder

 Chapter 24 Part 5 - Weibo (5/6)

I realised I had read the text wrongly regarding the key to clearing the stage. There are actually two keys, one on each mountain. Bc there is no spacing between the characters in Chinese, I read “within each individual mountain, there’s a key” as “there is a key between the two mountains” lmaooo my brain was not working then.

Edited the previous parts to clarify this.

After transmigrating into 《Peach of the Night》, he had been constantly rushing about for his little life and rarely had the opportunity to listen to music.

 

Although the person in front of him was the fake idol, no matter if it was his looks or his voice, both were at the level where they could pass as the genuine thing. Listening to it occasionally should post no problem.

 

Singing was the old profession of Bo Ye, and without any protest, he sang one of his classic ballads1.

 

The feelings when listening to him sing on an audio player, listening to him live, and listening to him singing acapella while face to face, were very different. The deep, low, and magnetic male voice slowly flowed through the mountain forest that tranquil spring day, even the wind could not help but stop for it.

 

Qi Xingchen unconsciously immersed himself in it. As the song ended, he thought of his real idol, and the love and admiration that could not be suppressed spilt over from the bottom of his heart, spreading up the corners of his lips.

 

Seeing Qi Xingchen’s expression, Bo Ye knew that he should be in a good mood now and probed in a low voice, “Xingxing, where did you learn how to cook?”

 

He did not like to ask about other people’s private lives, firstly because it was impolite, secondly because very few people could evoke his curiosity. But the little fan’s reaction from the night before yesterday made him feel slightly unsettled, thus he could not help but want to ask about it.

 

Qi Xingchen was indeed in a considerably good mood, replying with a smile: “I never intentionally went to learn it. Making a couple more meals, as I made more and more, I just learnt how to.”

 

Bo Ye sensed a meaning that was somewhat different: “No one cooked for you in your childhood?”

 

“Not really I guess, I wasn’t that miserable,” Qi Xingchen said, “I like to do it by myself, if I work for myself, I can guarantee to be well-fed and clothed. 2”

 

At this moment, the following assistant, who had just extricated himself from Bo Ye’s singing, joined the conversation, “Xingxing, you’re good-looking, good-natured and even good at cooking; in the future, the girl who gets to marry you will definitely be very blissful!”

 

Bo Ye instantly thought of Zhou Yu’s girlfriend — no, now, she would be the ex-girlfriend, and glanced at Qi Xingchen.

 

“Hey, hey, hey, why are you guys so worried about my major life events ah,” Qi Xingchen joked without even looking up as he was busy marinating3 the fish, “I’m in 《Budget Travel》, and not《If You Are the One》4, right?”

 

.

 

Everyone completed the tasks given to them well, and Qi Xingchen also did not fall short of expectations by finding a clearing and setting up two fires, one for roasting the fish, the other for making soup.

 

To roast the fish, they would need to pierce the fish with tree branches. Qi Xingchen could not bear to let the females do this sort of bloody work, and called the two men over. Taking out the pile of branches he had just sharpened, he gave an implied direction: “How should these sort of branches be used? I will demonstrate to you both.”

 

“Watch carefully.” With those words, he aligned the pointed end at the open mouth of the fish, then steadily and accurately stabbed it in with a “pu”.

 

Bo Ye: “……”

 

After piercing the fish to be roasted, Liu Ziyu asked, “How will we stew the fish soup? We don’t have a pot.”

 

“What do you think the programme team gave us the washbasin for?” Qi Xingchen hit the nail on the head 5, “In the programme team’s mind, we don’t need to wash our faces at all. The more unkempt we are, the more interesting points there will be. Hence, it is—”

 

Qi Xingchen carried the basin full of water and set it on the stand above the fire, “It is the pot.”

 

Liu Ziyu: “……”

 

Director Zhao: “…… You monkey demon, may your all roasted fish become scorched!”

 

Unfortunately, the heavens did not materialise Director Zhao’s wish, it wasn’t long before a fragrant smell began to waft from the rack of roasting fish.

 

Not long after that, the savoury smell from the fish pot was almost enveloping the entire mountain top. Zhang Yunfei tentatively tasted it first and his expression turned from anxious to astonished: “Woah, genuine wild fish is precisely delicious; come quickly everyone, come quickly!”

 

The guests rushed over to eat heartily as they were told. No matter when they ate, Bo Ye would always be at the end of the line; Qi Xingchen hurriedly drew a perfectly roasted fish from the fish rack and secretly stuffed it into Bo Ye’s hand.

 

Although they ate merrily, the programme team staff were someone upset in their hearts. As the flagship variety show of MaimangTV, 《Budget Travel》’s programme team had always retained the best treatment.

 

No matter where they went, they would have a chef following the team to take care of all three meals, and in a single day, many of the dishes would not have a repeat.

 

Today they had to go up to the mountains to film. As they considered the camera equipment too heavy, in order to pack light for easier travel, the director only let the production assistants bring a few packets of bread, biscuits, sausages and other snacks along.

 

Compared to the guests nice and warm aromatic fish soup, that was basically a meal not for human consumption!

 

Qi Xingchen still did not forget to look for the clearing stage keys even while eating, and inadvertently saw that half of the people in the programme team were all longingly gazing at their side, their eyes which were evidently ravenous twinkling.

 

He had a thought. He washed his bowl clean and scooped a bowl of fish soup, took a warm roasted fish, then went up to the little production assistant in the corner.

 

The little production assistant was a girl, and when she saw Qi Xingxhen come over, her face flushed red at first, “Xingxing, are you looking for me?”

 

“En,” he nodded, “the biscuits are too dry and choking, have some soup bah.”

 

“I can drink the soup?” The little production assistant stealthily swallowed her saliva, reaching out with her hands to take it.

 

Before she could touch the bowl, she withdrew her hand with a swish, “That’s not right. Xingxing, are you trying to scheme against me?”

 

Qi Xingchen choked, feeling offended.
In the hearts of the staff in the programme team, was this really the image he held?

 

“I am not trying to scheme against you,” Qi Xingchen explained, “I was worried that you weren’t eating well, and at the same time ask how the keys to clearing the stage look like.”

 

“…… Sure enough!” The production assistant thought to herself that fortunately she was not duped, and repeatedly waved her hands, “Xingxing, the director did not allow it to be revealed, I can’t tell you.”

 

“He’s eating in his own tent, he won’t see this anyways. Right now, only the heavens, the ground, you, and I know about it. 6”

 

The cameraman, who was too lazy to follow over and was filming with a large focal distance: “……”
Are you treating me like a f*cking invisible person?

 

Qi Xingchen would persevere until he reached his goal7, holding the creamy white fish soup and swaying it in front of her eyes, and continued to persuade as he did so: “In addition to that, I am only asking about what the clearing stage keys look like, and I didn’t ask you where it is hidden. This is not considered as a violation of the rules.”

 

“……” The little production assistant had second thoughts, what he said seemed to make sense!

 

“The clearing stage keys……” She gritted her teeth and finally failed to resist the double temptation of the handsome man and the fine food, “The clearing stage keys were made into fruit shapes using wax moulds…… Regarding the specific fruits, don’t ask me about them. I can only tell you this much.”

 

“Alright!” Qi Xingchen agreed very forthrightly, then shoved all the food at her and went back to inform the rest full of excitement, “Look upwards later when you’re looking for the keys! The programme team had made them into fruits and hung them up on the trees!”

 

The production assistant: “!”
That’s right, in the mountains, only the trees could grow fruits, she actually forgot about this!

 

Furthermore, in order to make it seem realistic, the props team hung the keys on genuine fruit trees. The guests only needed to look out for which fruit trees grew fruit on them while walking, and could rule out pine and poplar trees with a glance.

 

After an hour, they found the first key on the mountaintop of Panlong Mountain.

 

Four hours later, they found the second key in a valley of Jufeng Mountain, and started to head back with celebration8.

 

Director Zhao and Assistant Director Li were stupefied, no, did the guests have divine powers?

 

The keys that were this hard to find, how did they find them even before night fell?

 

The tents that were prepared for them were not even used yet?

 

What was more frustrating was that, after completing the mission, Qi Xingchen’s quick-wittedness surfaced again: “Tao Tao-jie, we don’t have to go back the same way. We can just get off directly from Jufeng9 Mountain, and find a villager from the village below to hitch a lift or rent a car back. This would save us a lot of energy and time.”

 

The head of the props team, who was hoping to get shots of the guests exploring deep into the mountains at night and had prepared many frightening props: “Aiyah, f*ck me, can we not hire this youngster next season?!”

 

.

me sitting up from a nightmare at 3am: IS SOUP A STEW

(yes it is considered)

Footnotes

抒情曲 — lit. song that expresses emotion. So probably a slow sentimental song.he’s quoting a slogan from Chairman Mao in 1939 btw, that was used to encourage people to work hard during the bad economy at that time煨 — the word used here actually means either simmer (like in a stew) or roast in ashes (like how you roast potatoes) but uh, QXC isn’t cooking yet, so I changed this to seasoning/marinating which was what he was doing 非诚勿扰 – lit. serious inquiries only. A popular dating game show in China. 一‌语道破 — lit. one word/speech exposes everything天知地知你知我知 — meaning strictly between us two不‌到‌黄河心不‌死 — lit. would not stop until he reached the Yellow River打‌道回‌府 — meaning go home in a ceremonial processionThis is the second time the author typoed this btw, it was typed as Fengju