After Transmigrating into a Book, I Have an Entire Family of Cannon Fodder

As the name suggests, 《Let’s Budget Travel!》 was a travel programme. It accurately captured the audience’s desire to watch big-name celebrities facing defeat and embarrassing themselves, by specialising in dumping celebrities into remote and desolate places1 or places that required high levels of spending, then providing them with a scant amount of travel funds. The programme would then film the celebrity guests throughout their twisted travels full of challenges and adversities, as well as quarrels and catfights.

When this programme was being planned, MaimangTV wanted to develop it into the company’s flagship variety show. All of the invited guests in the first season were either A-listers or the most talked-about celebrities to give its announcement traction. Once the show aired, it instantly took first place on the topic ranking of variety shows that year.

By this year when the programme had run until its 4th season, the amount of following it had was already dropping. The production side somehow managed to reach a settlement with Noah and invited the legendary hotshot Bo Ye onto the show.

According to the original text, there was a personal relationship between Bo Ye and the producer, and he joined in order to help the variety show. However, during yesterday’s interview, Qi Xingchen clearly saw that Bo Ye was in fact not familiar with the producer beside him.

In short, everything was a mystery.

From the next week onwards, he would have to leave home for a long period of time. During breakfast, Qi Xingchen broke the news of him filming the variety show to the Qi family.

“Is it that budget travel variety show?” Qi Yuji placed down the teacup in her hands, “I thought you were just signing up for fun, you’re not really going for it, are you?”

Qi Xingchen: “I’m really going.”

“I’ve seen a bit of that variety show, it’s too hard,” Qi Yuji became sick with worry, “You have a weak body, would you be able to stand it? Let’s go to the mall together later to buy some things for you to bring along ba.”

Doing exactly what she said she would do, Qi Yuji dragged Qi Xingchen out the moment they finished their meal. Just as they entered the underground garage, two luxury cars parked side-by-side almost blinded Qi Xingchen’s eyes.

There was a silver Rolls Royce2 and a grey Koenigsegg3. Qi Yuji flipped her hair, “You should have told jiejie that you got tired of driving your previous car, what are you taking the bus for? Both of them are yours, choose which one you’d like to drive today.”

She was fluttering her eyelashes when she said this, seeming to be a bit nervous. Qi Xingchen pointed at the slightly more low-profile Rolls Royce.

The corners of her mouth drooped down all at once.

Qi Xingchen saw this situation and immediately tried to remedy it: “This car has an even number, with today’s restrictions4, we should drive the one beside it with the odd number instead.”

“YEAH!” Qi Yuji roared at WeChat5 happily, “Da ge, Xingxing likes my car more! I won this time!”

Qi Xingchen: “……”

“Oh right, Xingxing did you forget? The cars of our Qi family never have car plate restrictions on them. “ Qi Yuji pursed her lips in a sweet smile, “Let’s go!”

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As the rich and powerful family in a Mary-Sue novel, the Qi family really did not need to follow the rules of the car plate restriction. Even when there was a traffic jam on the road, Qi Yuji instructed the driver: “Old Zhang, call Officer Li to send cars to clear the road.”

“No need,” Qi Xingchen was alarmed for a few seconds, then hurried to stop her, “The jam in front is not that bad, we can get past it in less than ten minutes, don’t delay the others.”

“I just wanted to spend more time with you, because it was so difficult to make you agree to go out with me.”

“……But still, there is no need to call the traffic police,” Qi Xingchen looked at the face full of flattery of his jiejie and said helplessly, “I won’t go to the company today, I’ll spend the entire day with you.”

“WAH!!!” Qi Yuji could not be any happier and started planning what to do today.

The first stop she brought Qi Xingchen to was a high-end retail store, and when she stepped in, she shouted: “The clothes ordered for my family’s Xingxing have all arrived, right?”

The boss pulled out two 3-meter-long display racks from the thermostatic repository.

At the salon which was the second stop, after entering through the door, 4 hostesses and 4 bodyguards took the card that Qi Yuji handed over. It was even more serious than an espionage meeting.

Qi Xingchen did not know what they were doing, and Qi Yuji explained: “This salon has a membership system, and only 200 membership cards are given out in the whole H City. The vetting of members is quite strict, where only the highborn and public figures who have reached a certain social rank can be admitted — for example, Bo Ye. He is the only artiste member in H City.”

As it turns out, all of the hairdressers of the top public figures were this fastidious. Qi Xingchen was pressed onto the massage chair in a mini booth by Qi Yuji.

His eyes closed, and when they opened, his hairstyle had changed.

Ever since the original owner was hospitalised, Qi Xingchen’s hair had been unkempt. This time, the styling consultant helped him to cut his hair shorter and dyed it a deep brown colour, making his already fair skin look even whiter.

At this moment, the director’s assistant of《Let’s Budget Travel!》asked him for a photo for the official announcement. Qi Xingchen raised his phone up and pressed the shutter button with a “click”.

“Oh my, you look really good on the iPhone front camera,” the stylist’s eyes shone with admiration, “Second young master Qi, do you mind if the shop uses this photo as a reference picture?”

Qi Xingchen did not mind at all, and he sent a copy of the photo to both the director’s assistant and the hairdresser.

At 9 pm, the programme group announced the first group of guests:

— 《Let’s Budget Travel!》Season 4 Official Weibo: Ripe peaches6 in the summer, the brightest star7 in the Milky Way. All that is sweet and wonderful are tied between you both. Welcome, @Tao [email protected] Xingchen.

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Not long after, the fans who have been waiting for the official announcement exploded.

【F*ck me, this face! This figure! Where did this fairy little brother8 come from? Within 3 minutes, Lao niang9 must get all of his information! 】

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In just one short afternoon, Qi Xingchen’s Weibo was almost bursting with all the new fans.

In reality, there were not that many, only around 30 thousand of them. But the clocked number of comments under his previous photo had already reached more than a thousand. He picked a few to reply to first but realised afterwards that he really couldn’t reply to all of them and gave up.

Qi Yuji still thought it was not enough, hence while choosing a face mask for him, she was pressing her phone furiously, “Xingxing, the number of your fans are actually less than Tao Tao’s by a few hundred thousand! I’ll buy you a hot search10 to get some fans.”

“?” Qi Xingchen frantically stopped her, “Don’t buy it!”

Qi Yuji: “……Wu wu wu11 I already bought it. Sorry Xingxing, I’ll retract it then.”

He never thought that her hands would be that quick. Qi Xingchen was speechless at that moment.

“How much did it cost to buy a hot search?” He asked.

Qi Yuji looked aggrieved: “600 thousand.12”

“……Then just leave it ba, I don’t have that many fans anyways, the hot search would go down soon.”

Qi Xingchen was right. Because there was no fan interaction to maintain the heat, he stayed on the hot search for 3 hours before his ranking slowly slid down. In these 3 hours, the number of fans increased by 3 times, reaching 150 thousand.

Qi Xingchen sucked in a breath13. Is this the power of capital?

 

On Friday, the programme team informed Qi Xingchen to go to MaimangTV for the first commentary1 interview.

Towards an artiste like him, who is practically so invisible2 that he cannot be seen, the company did not provide a minivan3. Du Lanxin used her own car to fetch him there, then did not stop nagging4 in the waiting hall outside the studio:

“The one they are recording later is a short introduction video, mainly to let the audience become familiar with you. Any funny punchlines or baggage, vigorously shake them all out. You must not hide or tuck them away.”

“Tell them your age and height according to the Baidu5 encyclopedia — you should know it yourself; your age remains the same, but your height has increased by 3cm.”

“Say what you should say, don’t say anything you shouldn’t. Don’t reveal your working-class family background. The audience now likes the tall, rich and handsome type, and not the grassroots type. If you are asked about it, just shake your head; the host would not put you on the spot.”

“……I said so much, were you even listening?” Qi Xingchen remained silent and Du Lanxin got angry, “Are you turning a deaf ear to my words? And what about your face and hair, you didn’t do your hair and makeup?”

Du Lanxing was 30+ this year. Due to her visits to the red-light district6 year in, year out, her figure became extremely out of shape7; the fat on her face shook whenever she talked. Qi Xingchen glanced at her, then immediately turned his head.

“I don’t have a stylist.”

Du Lanxin choked, indeed, she had actually forgotten about this after not bumping into Qi Xingchen for more than half a year.

He must have his hair and makeup done for this, as she was still ordering this new money tree8 to earn income! She stopped the production assistant who was hurriedly pushing a light reflector screen towards the studio: “Hey chap, my artiste was in a hurry and didn’t do his makeup. Call your makeup artist over in a moment.”

“Sure,” the production assistant was blocked by the light reflector and did not even see who it was in front clearly. He carelessly agreed, “Just wait for me to set this thing — aiyoh!”

Right when he said that, he did not see the wires on the floor, accidentally tripping over them, and his body tilted forward together with the board!

""

Qi Xingchen was seated on the bench directly in front of him, and all he saw was a dark black mass plummeting towards his head. It was too late to think of dodging.

He raised his arms to protect his head, then thought to himself I won’t be crushed to death here because I changed the plot, right? But after waiting for a while, he realised he did not feel any pain.

Opening his eyes, he saw Bo Ye gripping the light reflector board with one hand, and supporting the production assistant with the other.

He probably just rushed over from another set and could not conceal the exhaustion in his voice: “Be careful.”

“Thank you, thank you.”

The production assistant promptly bowed. Only when he straightened up did he realise who was supporting him, and he immediately let out a groundhog-like scream9: “AHHHHH Are you Bo Ye?! I saw Bo Ye with my own two eyes AHHH!!!” 

With trembling hands, he fished out a pen from his pocket, “I- I really really like you…… Could- could you give me an autograph?”

Instead of replying, Bo Ye turned to Qi Xingchen, “Are you okay?”

Qi Xingchen: “I’m alright.”

“Good,” Bo Ye turned back, “Where do I sign?”

The production assistant did not have a notebook on hand, in the end, he let Bo Ye sign on his clothes. Qi Xingchen inspected the writing. It was exactly the same as the signed albums in his collection.

One could reckon that Du Lanxin wanted to worm her way into being friends10with Bo Ye, approaching Bo Ye’s side after waiting for the production assistant to leave. However, as soon as she thought of how to phrase the words and was about to open her mouth, Bo Ye turned towards Qi Xingchen again: “No stylist?”

“……En.”

“Follow me.” Bo Ye walked around Du Lanxin and let his assistant lead the way straight to the lounge MaimangTV had prepared for him.

With Bo Ye’s level of popularity, no matter where he goes, there would always be a lounge labelled with his name for applying makeup, changing clothes, eating, waiting for the shoot, etc.

Right now, all the clothing and makeup items to be used were already fully prepared inside the room. The makeup artist was currently spraying mist onto a sponge.

Seeing Bo Ye enter, she was going to ask why he was this late but then saw someone else following behind Bo Ye.

“Boss, this is……?”

“Qi Xingchen,” Bo Ye replied indifferently, “Xiaoman, help him with his makeup. I’ll go to change first.”

“Oh, oh okay,” Xiaoman gave Qi Xingchen an astonished glance, “Teacher Qi11, please sit over here.”

Men’s makeup was easier to do, especially those like Qi Xingchen who have a small face and skin without any blemishes; they only require a bit of base makeup and contouring to enhance his complexion. 

While Xiaoman’s hands worked, her mouth was not resting either, asking in a whisper: “Teacher Qi, are you a friend of our boss?”

“…… I’m not,” Qi Xingchen did not know what they were considered as, “I’m also an artiste of Noah. I was not styled today and it just so happened that I met Senior Bo Ye, so he brought me over to do my makeup.”

Xiaoman was even more shocked. Bo Ye liked peace and quiet, and he hated socialising. He almost never brought people into his lounge.

Why did he suddenly behave out of character this time? Not only did he bring, but he even brought a youngster who was not even a friend.

Things were definitely not that simple. Xiaoman’s eyes shifted and thought of something, “Then Teacher Qi, how did you both get acquainted?”

“Are you also going to ask how many people there are in his family?” Just then, Bo Ye returned. He gave Xiaoman a warning look, “Work seriously.”

Xiaoman stuck out her tongue at Qi Xingchen, then wiped the corners of her eyes as she pretended to cry. Nevertheless, it could be seen from her expression that she was not actually afraid of Bo Ye.

Previously, a staff member who worked with Bo Ye revealed that although he looked cold on the surface, in actual fact he did not put on any airs at all in his attitude towards those around him.

Looks like it was true.

Xiaoman was still occupied with Qi Xingchen’s makeup, thus Bo Ye could only sit on Qi Xingchen’s left and do his hair first.

Qi Xingchen had never seen his idol’s behind-the-scenes look, even though he was a fake, his eyes could not help drifting towards his left for a bit.

And then he quickly retracted his gaze.

Again, it drifted to the left and got hurriedly retracted.

……Sh*t, he was really carried away12, his idol was way too good looking! If one needs to be taxed on beauty, he estimates that his idol would be bankrupt already!

Qi Xingchen’s gaze drifted to the left for the third time……

Bo Ye finally could not take it anymore and returned his gaze through the mirror.

At the very moment the two lines of sight met, it was as if Qi Xingchen was a student caught copying his homework, he swiftly sat upright as if he did not do anything shameful!

His reaction was so obvious that Bo Ye raised his eyebrows, “Are you very afraid of me?”

“N-no.”

“Then why are you this frightened by me?”

Isn’t this all because you look exactly like my idol? Every time I see you, I can’t help but think you’re my idol, causing me to be nervous to death, Qi Xingchen thought.

“Don’t tell me it was because……” Bo Ye hesitated for a moment, “I whacked you too many times in the practice room, so now you’re scared of me?”

Qi Xingchen: “……”

Impossible! He didn’t even have enough time to like his idol, how could he be scared?

“I’m not scared! Really!” Qi Xingchen got so anxious that he forgot if the person in front of him was real or fake. Fearing that his explanation would not be understood, his fingers scratched his pants frantically, “Feel free to whack! No matter how you wish to whack, or if you want to just whack to your point of satisfaction, I would be very happy nonetheless!”

Xiaoman: “……”

The hairstylist: “……”

Bo Ye’s assistant: “……”

The crowd of people in the lounge seemed as if they just witnessed a large S&M scene and fell into silence all of a sudden.

“……” Only then did Qi Xingchen realise that his words were very inappropriate. Heat flushed towards his head, causing his face to burst into flames.

He opened his mouth wanting to clarify but registered that with the current situation, anything else would just make it worse. He could only forcibly bow his head and bury his head in the sand13: They didn’t see me, they didn’t see me, as if I hadn’t been here, as if I hadn’t been here.

After a full minute of chanting, a low chuckle suddenly sounded from the left.

Bo Ye covered his mouth with a fist, with all the frost from his face melting.

A few days ago, a stage accident caused him to transmigrate into this space. The unfamiliar people and events have exhausted him physically and mentally.

He watched the furiously blushing youngster beside him. This was the first time he smiled from the bottom of his heart since he transmigrated here.

The author has something to say:

Cough cough, Qi Xingxing, your thoughts are very dangerous ah.