Amara – Reunion

Chapter 161 - Weak Resolve

Author's note: this is from Seraphina's point of view

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I was not sure if Duke pulled me higher or he got lower, but his face was buried in my hair above my shoulder and he inhaled a shaky breath, taking in my scent while his embrace tightened, as if he was afraid I will disappear.

I found myself melting into him and I hated how weak my resolve was.

What happened with facing the ugly truth and leaving the past behind me?

OK. OK. Calm down, Serina… I can still do that. Later.

"Where are you, Serina?", Duke's deep voice asked.

"In a cave.", I responded without thinking.

"A cave?", he was audibly surprised by my answer. "What cave?"

I realized that it's not relevant. "Why do you care?"

"Because I want to be with you. Tell me where you are."

His words sounded sincere, and my heart ached, but I had to go through this. "Why would you want to be with me? You have so many other women to choose from. Sanya is dead."

I swear that Duke trembled, but he held me tightly. "Don't say that, Seraphina. No matter how many women are out there, for me, there is only you. Don't do anything that both of us will regret. Tell me where you are, we need to talk."

I realized that he called my name twice and he didn't use 'Sanya'. Of course, he knows my name because this is my dream. It's all in my head, I'm in control, and he knows what I know, but… why is he not accepting that my old self is dead?

"Talk about what? About Magdalena Thompson? Or how about other women in your life?" I had to get this off my chest.

"No.", he said breathily, and then his voice turned deeper. "I don't want to talk about any woman other than you. Tell me where you are, and I will dispel all your doubts."

Was he upset?

This is not how I imagined it. I thought that I will mention other women, he will either acknowledge or try to squirm out of it, and this… why does it sound like I'm the only one in his heart?

Ah, my mind is playing tricks on me!

Or maybe this is the acceptable closure between happiness that can't happen and the heartbreak that would destroy me. He will be mine in my dreams and that will give me the strength to face the reality.

"I can't tell you where I am. I'm not ready."

His hold on me loosened a bit and I felt his lips pressing on my forehead, the sensation making the butterflies in my stomach go crazy.

"You know where I am, Serina…", he murmured against my forehead. "Come to me whenever you are ready. I am waiting for you."

"I'm not sure if I will ever be ready.", I said in a small voice.

"Don't say that, Serina. Please, don't say that…", his voice was breaking. "I am ready to wait no matter how long it takes. Just promise that you will come to me."

Damn, this was sweet and understanding and I nearly believed it. "Why?"

"Because no matter if you are Sanya or Seraphina, there is no one else. Only you."

I let out a shaky breath as I melted into him. I wished to merge with Duke and to bring him out of my dreams so that he can be with me all the time. I needed this sweet Duke who was returning my feelings and making me feel special.

I knew that Duke said these words only because this was my dream, but it was all so right that I chose to go with it, and I dropped the idea of pushing him away as I consciously decided to believe a pretty lie. I was that weak.

"OK. I promise.", I said in a whisper.

Duke slowly arranged lingering kisses starting from my forehead, down the temples, on the cheeks, and along the jaw.

His hands moved between resting on my back and running through my hair, without exploring my body further even though a hot hard bulge pressed on my thigh, telling me that he was more than ready to go all the way.

"Why don't you kiss me?", I asked when I realized that he is avoiding my lips on purpose.

His finger traced my lower lip. "You want a kiss there?" His minty breath splashed on my face, freshness disturbing the scent of pine trees and the ocean that seeped into my soul.

"Yes…", I breathed.

"I will do that when we meet in person."

I couldn't see him in the darkness, but I knew that he was smiling. Probably his half-smile that always made my heart skip a beat.

"Are you blackmailing me?"

Duke chuckled. "Think of it more as a reward for being a good girl and following on your promise."

He hugged me tightly and his lips brushed against my earlobe, making me shiver.

I hoped that he will kiss me senselessly. If his hands started exploring my body, I would not resist. I wished that we repeat and continue what we did on a stormy night in Lazarus's villa, but we didn't do any of it.

Duke's embrace was gentle and solid, and I clung to him while inhaling the scent of pine trees mixed with the ocean, wishing that we can stay like that forever.

Our bodies pressed against each other so tightly that I thought we might merge, but there was nothing sexual about it. It was comforting, enveloping me with a sense of security, like a safe harbor where nothing can go wrong.

How can this be unreal? How can this be wrong? We fit together perfectly. Even our breathing is in sync and our heartbeats are matching!

After some time, I heard him whispering, "Be a good girl and come to me, Serina. I miss you so much… I promise that I will explain everything, and if you are angry after hearing me out, I will accept your punishment, but I need you to come back… Without you, I'm suffocating. I need you. Come to me… please…"

I gripped his t-shirt and nodded in agreement while cursing myself for being weak. I was too weak to let go even in my dream.

I took in a shaky breath. "I miss you too, Duke…"

And I really did.

My soul ached when I realized that I was on a hard bed, hugging myself, and I didn't know if Duke heard my last words. And it was silly to worry about those things because none of those were real. But if it was not real, why was I crying?

A chilling breeze caressed my skin and I jolted when I remembered Aldus's words how once the ability is unlocked, it will be much easier to tap into those powers.

My mental state was unstable, and I knew that it's happening again because there was no other source for that breeze, other than the ache in my chest.

I was a mess and I needed to get myself together before I summon another storm.

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