Amara – Reunion

Author's note: this is from Seraphina's point of view

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I enjoyed the sight of color draining from Duke's face. 

"Oh, wait… so you wanted to use this on me? Is your little buddy not working anymore, so we need to use this?"

Duke's expression darkened. "What do you mean, little?"

I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. I thought he will be worried I said how it's not working anymore, yet he was stuck on the size. Men.

Duke hugged me from the back, probably to make sure he doesn't touch the dildo.

"Tell me you are joking, love."

"Why would I joke?", I snapped. "You brought me here to watch half-naked women and to see all these sex toys. How I see it, you are bored of me and you…"

My words were cut off when he abruptly turned me to face him.

"Don't assume I'm bored of you.", he said grimly. "Kevin told me that there are toys we can try, but I didn't know what they are. As for the women, did I even look at them?"

No, he didn't.

"I'm sorry, Duke. But I was never in a strip club or whatever this is, and I find all this intimidating. What did you expect I will do? Throw my clothes off, let you tie me up, gag me, and enjoy the whipping? You know that I'm inexperienced, yet you brought me here. It's too much.", the words left my lips without a filter.

Duke let out a sharp breath and leaned his forehead on mine. "I'm sorry for being ambiguous. You are so amazing in every way possible, and it's easy for me to forget you are insecure. But don't be insecure about how I see you. You are my everything… You know that I would never do anything against your will, right?"

My heart shook as his lips touched mine, silently probing if I accepted his apology.

I wanted to return his kiss, I really did, but I gathered all my willpower to turn my head away.

"Why are we here, Duke?", I asked while avoiding to look at him.

I knew that he was hurt by my rejection, and I didn't want to see it, knowing that it will crumble this little resolve I had to stand up for myself.

"Can you wait just a bit, please? The show starts in five minutes."

"OK." I can wait five minutes.

I realized that I'm still holding an oversized dildo in my hand. After returning it to the top drawer (and closing the drawer), I returned to my previous spot on the sofa and stared at my feet while counting seconds.

I wanted to plunge into Duke's embrace and let his scent and touch soothe me, but this was way out of my comfort zone and if I just said that it's OK, he will do it again, so I sulked.

"Do you trust me?"

His question made me bit my lip guiltily. Do I? If I do, why am I acting this way?

"This has nothing to do with you, Duke.", I responded, even though I was not sure about it myself.

I believed that he would never harm me, but years of neglect and bullying left deep scars through which my insecurities came to the surface if someone pushed hard enough.

Duke made me strong, but at the same time, he made me vulnerable as well. Maybe he was the only one who could really harm me because no one else could come this close.

With my peripheral vision, I saw him look at me, waiting for me to speak.

"I can't relax in a place where others are watching me.", I said after some time.

"Who are the others? It's just the two of us. Privacy is guaranteed, that's why all those people come here."

I looked at him and frowned. What kind of nonsense is that? I gestured toward the television. "If there is a camera in one room, what makes you think that they don't have cameras everywhere?"

"They are not in a room."

I looked at six people having a good time on an oversized sofa, and even though the background was lost in darkness, it looked similar to the room where Duke and I were. "Where are they?"

"Two more minutes, love…", Duke reminded me that his initial five minutes are not up yet.

He took my hand in his and kissed my knuckles and I contemplated if I should yank my hand away, but then I decided to let him have it.

Of course, he was not content with just a hand. That was his way of probing if he can get more.

Duke leaned closer and kissed my cheek. "Don't be angry, Serina…", his lips moved against my skin, and then he kissed me again.

I was not angry at him. I was angry at myself that instead of talking about this with confidence or maybe joking about it, I ended up shriveling into my old self.

His lips moved lower, and he pecked my jaw before going for my neck, just below my ear.

"Don't be angry…", he repeated. "It's killing me from the inside."

It was killing me as well. It was too much. My insecurities because of my past… wariness because of all the enemies lurking around us… fear of what the future might bring. Especially the future.

I didn't want to think about the possibility that I'm not Duke's mate, but I was painfully aware that once the word spreads how Mateo Testa is alive, that will bring more enemies, schemes, assassinations… danger.

It all added to the burden which made it difficult to breathe, and my eyes stung with tears I forced back. I didn't want him to see me crying.

Duke was my pillar, my reason to get stronger. I didn't want to bicker about this place because that was not the cause of my discomfort. I was already compromised, and this only added oil to the fire.

Duke's hot breath splashed on the skin of my neck. "Tell me what to do, and I will. Tell me what I did wrong, and I will never do it again…" The movement of his lips as he spoke were like little kisses and I had no idea at what point I tilted my head to give him better access.

His arms moved around me, pulling me closer to him and he kissed and sucked on my neck, occasionally letting me feel his teeth gliding over my skin.

I let out a shaky breath. "You are not playing fair, Duke."

He lifted his head and looked at me with all passion that exists in this world. "All is fair in love and war, Serina. And this is my war to win your love."

"You have my love, Duke."

He shook his head. "I know you love me, but I also know you are holding back. Stories about vampires and werewolves are not your biggest secrets. Only when you tell me about your sufferings and fears, I will know that you are sharing your burden with me. You did it in high school, and now you are doing it again. I need you to understand that no matter what, I will never harm you in any way, but I need to know what's going on in order to help."

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