Amara – Reunion

Author's note: this is from Seraphina's point of view

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Over dinner, Aldus told me about his findings and conclusions related to my increased production of pheromones.

"It is still a theory…", he said cautiously. "Strong emotions are boosting your pheromones, and I believe that the emotions that trigger it are fear and sadness. There could be others as well."

"So… now what?", I asked.

"There are few things we should do. First, we need to identify which emotions trigger your pheromone production. Second, you need to learn to control it. It will be a long process, but it's something you must go through."

I didn't like this. I didn't like it at all. Helplessness mixed with irritation as images of the mob from the fair flashed into my mind, only this time every person who was cramming into that alley was Lazarus, clawing his way toward me, and I lost my temper.

"More tests? What will they be? Will you scare me and make me sad or happy while I have needles stuck in my head? And how do I control it? Will you keep on scaring me until my senses dull? Or until I get used to it? Do you really expect me not to feel things? I am not a machine, Aldus!"

"Calm down, Serina!", Aldus raised his voice. "You can either learn to control it or accept that you will never leave this place. Without understanding the phenomena, you won't be able to control it. And without control, you can't go out among other creatures. Don't tell me that you want to see a repeat of what happened at the fair? Do you know how that would end if I didn't get you to safety on time?"

I rubbed my temples in frustration. I was irked at this whole situation and at myself.

Earlier that day, I was happy to go to the fair. I saw that as a step forward, closer to normalcy. But it ended up pulling me back into solitude and isolation. And here I am, childishly lashing out at the only person who can help me… the only person willing to help.

"I am sorry, father…", I said in a small voice. "I am scared.", I admitted. "I don't want to be a prisoner here or anywhere else. For some reason, my freedom is important to me. At the same time, I wouldn't dare to venture among people and risk being attacked."

He patted my head and gave me a comforting smile. "Don't be scared, not with me around. We will figure this out. OK?"

I responded with a small nod and a second later, Aldus spoke again…

"For your information, people can't be trained to block feelings. At most, you can learn not to express them, but they will still be within you. When I spoke about controlling your power, I meant that you need to understand the energy flow that releases the pheromones. You can't control your emotions, but with some practice, you should be able to control how your body reacts by manipulating the energies in your body."

I disliked that he called it a 'power' when I saw it as a 'curse'. But I didn't want to dwell on that technicality. He said that I need to learn manipulating energies in my body, and I had no idea where to start.

"How do I tap into those energies? When will you start teaching me?", I asked eagerly.

"I can't.", he responded bluntly, taking me by surprise.

"What?"

Aldus puffed his cheeks while exhaling slowly and I could see that he is struggling to find an answer to my question.

"Serina, this is not simple. What you are experiencing is something creatures go through when they are young and it's different for everyone. I have no power similar to yours, and my body is not female, and…", he paused. "The first step is for you to accept that you have a power within you. Only like that, you can identify it. You will need to listen to your body and distinguish emotions and changes that happen with them."

I was dejected. How on earth am I supposed to do that? "Is there no one who can help me?"

He gave me a forced smile. "Of course, there is."

"Then?"

Aldus was visibly uncomfortable. "Give me a few days to figure things out. OK? We had a busy day, from the fair to you visiting my lab and meeting Krob and Glatellia. You also had your first portal-trip today. Let's not add more to it."

I agreed to that. I mean, did I have a choice?

…

The next morning, we had a guest over breakfast.

It was a lady in her late fifties, sitting at the table with her back straight, opposite from Aldus. Her gray hair was lifted into a sophisticated bun and she observed me keenly through her golden-rimmed spectacles that had a strap made out of white pearls.

"Serina, dear…", Aldus greeted me. "This is Signora Durand, your etiquette tutor."

'Ah, that explains the stiff posture…' I hoped that my smile concealed my thoughts.

Suddenly, I was nervous. Should I go and shake her hand, or nod, or…? What should I do? I decided on a nod.

"Signora Durand, it's nice to meet you. I am Seraphina Mezzanotte, and I look forward to your guidance."

Signora Durand responded with a small nod and a tight smile and I went to my usual seat, next to Aldus.

"It didn't take you long to find me a tutor.", I told Aldus while remembering that only yesterday morning he said that he will get me a tutor for etiquette.

Aldus hummed. "I spoke with Signora Durand last week, and then again last night. It's fortunate that she was able to join us right away."

We didn't talk much over breakfast, mostly because I suspected that Signora Durand was human and we could not talk about 'magical topics'. Also, Signora Durand herself was not very chatty.

After breakfast, Aldus went to take care of his business (into the lab), and I was left in the dining room with Signora Durand to start my first etiquette class.

"Miss Mezzanotte…", she addressed me in a clipped tone as she stood up and circled around the table to approach me. "I see we have a lot of work ahead of us."

I swallowed softly. I had a feeling that she was watching me intently, but now I realized that she was assessing me over breakfast.

"We will start with posture, body language, and spatial awareness, and then we will work our way on courtesies, interpersonal skills, etiquette for in-person and over the phone conversations, correspondence rules, table manners, dining etiquette, business etiquette, projecting confidence…"

Signora Durand was talking, and my head was spinning. Why was she holding onto a long stick? Am I going to be smacked if I don't perform?

The next thing I know, the stick fell on my upper back. Luckily, she didn't hit me hard, but it startled me, nevertheless.

"Don't slouch!", Signora Durand said sternly. "You are a beautiful lady and a hump on your back is not befitting your status…"

I cringed internally. Ah, this is going to be a long morning.

Signora Durand left two hours later. She sent me some links to videos portraying royalty in various situations with an assignment to watch them and take notes on how they move.

"I will quiz you tomorrow on it…", Signora Durand said before stepping into her car, and I exhaled in relief when the car took a turn and disappeared out of my sight.

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