Amara – Reunion

Author's note: this is from Aldus's point of view

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I was pleased to see that after my threat, Vesper behaved.

As we waited for Serina to finish her exercise, the malice in Vesper's eyes told me that she was silently seething and plotting how to get back at me, but that was something for later. At that point, I was happy to indulge in the pleasure of my small victory.

Vesper praised Serina's progress and told her to keep on practicing. We are to meet with Vesper tomorrow so that Serina gets further instructions. I was aware that Vesper could give Serina instructions right away and spare us the extra trip, but she wanted us to return. I could imagine that additional traps will wait for us tomorrow, but if Vesper thinks that we will walk into them cluelessly, she will find out that I am not the naïve boy I used to be.

I couldn't stop my mind from drifting into the past.

A long time ago, I was curious about the world and eager to learn. Humans were harmless and I was fortunate that the first few immortals I've met in my journeys were not malicious. I remember that they were mostly intrigued about my motives because our kind separates into two types. The first type consists of creatures that are trying to live peacefully by blending in with humans and hiding their abilities. The second type is hungry for power, and most of them treat humans as no more than a source of food and maybe entertainment.

As I continued my journeys, I've met both types of creatures, and I did my best not to interfere. After all, my goals were to observe and learn. I was fascinated by the variety of creatures that exist, and I wanted to find out more about various aspects of their existence.

Only later, much later, I've encountered some who wanted to use ME as nourishment for their goals. At first, with my speed and strength, it was easy for me to repel them, but then I bumped into one who managed to get her hands on me: Vesper. She was fragile, kind, and generous, and I didn't see her as a threat. By the time I realized that she has vile intentions, it was too late.

When Vesper confirmed that I can't move unless she allows it, she started her ritual.

I remember standing in front of her stark naked, enduring her lecherous gaze directed at me, but the physical part was not the problem. It was the fact that I couldn't resist. I could feel everything, and my mind told me that I don't want it, but I was trapped inside a body that refused to move as I wished. I felt waves of need that surged within me whenever she touched me, and I hated them because I knew they are not mine.

To be honest, I don't remember if it lasted a few days or a few weeks. Months, maybe.

Eventually, either due to me growing resistant to her power or her miscalculation of how much power she needs to use in order to control me, I broke free and the only thing on my mind was to escape as far away as possible.

Yes, I was that pitiful.

The psychological trauma inflicted on me was great, and it took me several years to collect enough courage to analyze those events and to start working on building my defenses against such attacks.

After I calmed down to the level of being able to think rationally about the past events, I knew that I shouldn't blame her. After all, we live in a world where the strong make the rules and have the right to use the weak ones as they see fit.

Some of the immortals I've met respected me due to my strength, and some respected me due to my lineage, and some were interested to see what I'm going to achieve… but Vesper didn't care about any of that.

Vesper captured me because of my ignorance and naivety which lead to me being unable to fight back, so yes… at that time, I was the weak one. I was the prey. Those thoughts made my insides churn, but no one survives by ignoring the unpleasant truth, and those were the facts that I had to accept and learn from my mistakes or risk falling into such a trap again.

There is a saying, what does not kill you makes you stronger, and I refused to be defeated by the likes of Vesper. That is why now I'm different.

Perhaps I should be grateful to Vesper because thanks to her I acquired another layer of protection. But that was more than just one ability, that was about me learning how foolish is to trust others. I learned that a kind smile and pleasant words can hide poisonous intentions. And I also learned that strength and speed are sometimes not enough.

Other than practicing how to protect myself, I started feverishly collecting knowledge. Only by understanding the world around me, I can be prepared to face it.

Today, my resilience can compare with the ones who are born with it, but in front of Vesper, my self-doubts are swelling and that is why I took a potion before meeting with her. Just in case.

Reuniting with Vesper was stressful, but I am pleased with the outcome. It's almost like I reclaimed a part of myself that I left behind on that day when I ran from her.

Now that I think about it, I never found out what spell Vesper wanted to cast. Or was it to create some potion? I am familiar with several rituals that require parts from pureblood vampires, but never one which has lewd activities as a prerequisite. The scientific part of my mind wants to know more about it, but the emotionally scarred part of me wants to keep that experience buried in the depths of my mind so that I can pretend it never happened.

Today, I achieved a small victory, but the trauma is still there.

I wished to go back to my lab. Work keeps my mind busy and I can't think about useless things like detrimental experiences (and Vesper).

If there is such thing as Vesper-phobia, I have it.

I forced myself to focus on the present. There is no point in dwelling on the past. I could always kill Vesper but that would deny me the pleasure of getting back at her. I planned this retaliation for a long time even though I was not sure if I will ever be mentally strong enough to act on it but surprisingly, Serina's situation was the catalyst and her presence steeled my resolve.

As for Vesper, I will show her that she can't use me, and then I will let her experience how it feels to be controlled. Yes, revenge is a dish best served cold and I am not in a rush.

Stepping out of Vesper's apartment, I felt light, as if invisible shackles disappeared, and it was getting better as the distance between me and Vesper increased.

Ah, it was good to be back in Paris after many years. An occasional change was good, but I must admit that I enjoyed seeing Serina's excitement that stemmed from everything around us. Somehow, looking at the world through her eyes showed me a different perspective and reminded me of the little things that are important. Maybe I am spending too much time in my lab. Maybe.

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