Amara – Reunion

Author's note: this is from Seraphina's point of view

- - -

For the rest of the trip home, my mind echoed Vesper's words about how I will change to the point of killing people without remorse.

I was aware that my personality will change. After all, I would be a rock if I was not affected by the knowledge that other creatures are among humans (and that I'm one of them), but killing without hesitation was something I couldn't imagine.

However, I killed Bob. Does that mean one day I will kill a person after apologizing and explaining how someone else is more important to me?

I didn't have an answer to this question, but I knew without a doubt that I was afraid of being left alone.

What if in the near future I faced a choice of killing someone or risk being alone? I hoped that I will never find myself in such a situation.

Before leaving the car, Vesper inquired about my pheromone readings again and she said that I am welcome to come again to her apartment for more training.

"Really? What can you teach me?", I asked sarcastically.

Vesper squeezed a smile that looked more like a grimace. "Every ability is like a muscle. The more you use it, it becomes faster, sharper, but it can also change and evolve. I can guide you."

"I will discuss this with my father.", I responded stiffly.

I had no intention of staying with Vesper more than necessary.

Arriving at our apartment brought me a sense of relief mixed with anxiety.

Is Aldus coldhearted and calculated like Vesper? Does Aldus see me as his daughter, or am I just a lab specimen? I told myself to shake off those unnecessary thoughts and I chided myself for being weak. Why did I allow Vesper to get in my head?

I didn't want Aldus to find out I'm doubting him and myself again. I am stronger than that.

I needed some time to relax and there was nothing better than a hot bubble bath. And I wanted to get out of that dress that Vesper gave me.

- - -

Author's note: this is from Aldus's point of view

- - -

I was relieved to see Serina back.

I was aware that Vesper will not try anything drastic, knowing that I can track her (and kill her) anytime, but the uneasy feeling lasted until Serina arrived.

"How was your day?"

"Long.", Serina responded, and I could see that her mood was off.

Did she fail the pheromone control? Or did Vesper do something?

Serina went up to her room with heavy steps and told me to call her when dinner is ready.

"Will you tell me about your day?", I asked halfway through the dinner.

"Sure…"

Serina told me how she went to the Misty Forest, collected ten Bleeding Snaberries while befriending a wolf, faced a big bear, and kept her pheromone levels in the acceptable range.

While listening to how she saved Blackie (yes, she named the wolf) from Morsa Creeper, I was amazed by her compassion. Part of me feared how others will take advantage of her kindness, but I didn't want to be a mood killer all the time, so I kept that comment to myself. 

"Do you think that my pheromones affect wolves?", she asked.

I really had no idea. Anything is possible. "We can test that. However, there is a chance that he helped you because you helped him first. Wolves are smart creatures, and they can sense if you are a threat or not."

"I see…", Serina murmured.

"I expected that you will be more excited about controlling your pheromones. Spending a day in the forest and not succumbing to fear is a big feat.", I tried to encourage her. "Or did something else happen you didn't tell me about?"

"Well, there was one thing…", Serina told me that she witnessed a bank robbery and how Vesper didn't care to help. "Do you think that I will be like that, without empathy for humans?"

"That will depend on you, Serina.", I responded honestly. "Everyone is molded by their experiences."

"Do you care for humans?", she asked.

Should I lie to her? "When I left Lemuria, I didn't care about any lifeform. I was curious, but I treated everyone the same, as specimens to be observed, and sometimes as food."

I saw that she disliked my answer, even though I gave her a prettified version of, 'I don't care about humans.'

She continued asking, "How do you treat mortals now?"

"With caution. Not just mortals, but everyone, and I advise you to do the same."

"Should I treat you with caution?"

"Yes. Until you are confident that I have your best interest in mind."

Serina exhaled dejectedly. "All this is too complicated. I don't want to be alone, but I can't allow anyone to get close if I fear for my safety."

"Don't be impatient, Serina. You have all the time in the world. Literally. You will meet other creatures; some will be your friends, some enemies, and most of them will pass by without leaving an impression. However, there is always a chance you will find someone worthy of your trust. I would say that you can trust me, but you need to figure that one on your own. Why are you allowing yourself to be shaken up by the uncertain future like it doesn't depend on you?"

This question got Serina's attention, and I continued, "As I said, everyone is molded by their experiences. The same applies to you. You can't deny that you changed since you woke up as my daughter. You remember going on a vacation with three girls who drugged you and set you up with some guy so that they can take degrading photos; based on that experience alone, I am confident that if another group of girls invites you to join them on a vacation out of the blue, you will be more cautious, right?"

Serina responded with a stiff nod.

"And in the same way, if you end up in a forest and you see a wolf in trouble, you will be more inclined to help him out, considering what happened with Blackie. Correct?"

Serina nodded again, this time with a small smile on her face.

"There you go, Serina. Experiences are molding your personality and future actions. Even our talk right now is changing you in subtle ways. I don't want you to think that the future is outside of your control because it's up to you what kind of a person you will become. You decided to go on that vacation, and you accepted that drink. And in the same way, it was you who decided not to leave a forest animal who needed help. I am warning you to act with caution because I believe that is the right thing to do, but it doesn't mean I want you to be like me."

"There is nothing wrong with you, father.", Serina said with conviction.

"I know, I know. I am perfect."

We both had a laugh at my remark, but I meant it.

Well, now that the mood was better, we could discuss business.

"Do you want to meet with Vesper tomorrow? Or would you like a day to relax?"

Serina cringed. "Can I not see her?"

"You said that your pheromones went up to fourteen. That will cause men to notice you and develop affections."

"Does it matter?"

"No. If you can ignore numerous admirers sending you flowers and letters and trying to take you on a date. A man in love will make sure he gets the attention of the woman who captured his heart."

Serina puffed her cheeks. She obviously didn't like the idea of attracting random guys.

"I don't want to risk ending up in some forest again. Next time, Vesper might send me to a dungeon."

I wanted to say that she was wrong, or that I will punish Vesper, but the point of the exercise is for Serina to experience fear, and I couldn't deny that Vesper's approach yielded results.

However, Serina was reluctant to go through that again, which left me with another option. "Do you think you can practice on your own?"

"Yes.", Serina said with confidence. "I want to practice for another week or two before doing another field test."

It seems that Serina has a plan. "How will you test it?"

Serina looked at me with a complex expression. "Do you think you can invite Lazarus for a visit?"

I nearly choked on my saliva.

Lazarus is a walking hard-on.

Is it possible that she didn't notice? Or that she doesn't care? Does she like him?

The idea of Lazarus and Serina hitting it off and me calling him 'son' was unsettling. That is not happening.

Ah, I didn't tell Serina about Lazarus's creepy request for her used towels.

"Is it a problem?", Serina asked, probably noticing my disapproval. "Lazarus is the one who caused my pheromones to spike the first time, and just the thought of facing him is making me anxious. If I can keep it together in front of him, I would call that a success."

I must admit that Serina made sense. It was all for science and Serina's development. The more repugnant Lazarus is, the more control Serina will need to exert, and I will make sure that Lazarus keeps his hands (and the rest of his body) to himself.

"OK. I will give him a call. Since we don't need Vesper's services, there is no need to stay in Paris. Let's go home tonight."

"Can we stay until tomorrow?", Serina asked and added in a small voice, "I would like us to have an espresso in a bistro on the street of Paris. Will you join me?"

How can I say no to that? "Sure."

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