Aoba Office

I somewhat hate myself for being rational at this time.

When my parents were grieving, I was uncovering their scars. I could clearly feel guilty, but underneath the guilt and self-blame, there was still unstoppable instinctive observation and thinking.

The two things they said were indeed serious. Whether it was telling my relatives and friends about the whereabouts of my grandfather’s savings that I shouldn’t know, or calling the police several times to report the robbery and murderer, it was a big problem. Anyone who knows these two things will be aware of my abnormality.

However, if it is just like this, it is not to the extent that parents need to move or cut off relations with relatives.

When other people noticed something unusual, they would at most regard the matter as a source of conversation after dinner. As long as a person has a normal mind, no matter how superstitious he is, it is impossible for him to think about a certain ability of the people around him in an extreme direction.

Just like the common trust relationship in life, if you know someone who is a teacher and ask him to help introduce the school when your child goes to school, that is a normal behavior. No one would bother with such a thing shamelessly, and no one would resign and change jobs just because of such a request.

In the memories of my parents, they always mention the uncle whom I can no longer remember.

They have also talked about trivial matters at home before. When my sister and I were growing up, we would often be curious about our families, parents, and ancestors.

In my memory, the inheritance dispute after the death of the old man was the reason for the breakup that they mentioned many times, but they never talked about the specific process of this matter in detail, and they never took the initiative to recall their parents and siblings. things.

This avoidant attitude made me always think that this was their sad thing. I even thought that the possible cause of inheritance disputes was not their brothers and sisters, but them. Although their daily behavior and their words and deeds to us brothers and sisters are all upright, or in other words, they look like ordinary honest people, and they have never cared about money. I ultimately attributed all of this to their personalities and their original unhappiness.

Until just now, I thought that the cause of the problem might be my ability. Just now, their entire recollections and narratives confirmed my suspicion - my ability, a relative with a despicable personality, caused them to completely cut off ties with their family.

What makes me suspicious is that I have no memory of that despicable relative and they have never mentioned it before.

This should not be something that should be concealed or avoided.

But their atmosphere and attitude are genuine.

This reality cannot be equated with the value of the two things they said.

There should be one more thing, and that is the real reason why they cut off ties with their family. It’s not just the uncle’s constant pestering, it’s not just the uncle’s unbridled speech in front of me as a child, or the uncle’s rough behavior directly targeting me as a child...

I looked at my parents and didn't know how to ask my question.

They had no intention of continuing.

"That's it. After we moved, changed phone numbers, and changed jobs, we didn't tell anyone at home. We started over... At that time, your mother was still pregnant and gave birth to your sister. I didn't tell my family about this either. The colleagues in the new work unit and the new acquaintances don’t know the situation at home. You have never said that again. We are relieved... not completely... When you are older, you have a mobile phone. And you were at home during the holidays... We were worried for a long time. After your incident, you seemed to have grown up and become more sensible. You are quiet all the time, not like a little boy, not like a child. After your sister was born, you were very good and took care of your sister..." Dad paused.

My mother looked at me and said, "Actually, we never thought about having another baby. You said...one day, you suddenly said that you wanted a sister. We were all scared. I was afraid it wasn't you who said this. , it's something else... you... you just said it once, and we didn't agree or answer, so you stopped mentioning it. We saw that you played alone all day long and didn't play with the children outside... We didn't care about you at that time. I'm very careful, and I won't let you watch TV, nor will I let you play outside, for fear of what you might hear, see, or meet someone... Looking at you like that, you said you wanted younger brothers and sisters... …”

"There is an older brother in your aunt's family. You used to play with him and your uncle's little sister." Dad added.

I didn't expect to hear such memories.

My sister was born because of my request.

"We bought you a dog just to make you happy. Then your sister was born... When I was pregnant with your sister, you would touch my belly, and you would also touch the dog's belly and lie on it. Listening to the sound, I thought the dog’s heartbeat was the sound of a puppy.”

The two of them smiled happily and lovingly as they reminisced.

I couldn't relax.

What they said made my question completely stuck in my throat.

"Your sister said that when she was in the cradle, you squatted next to her and held her little hand. When she was older, you would be her pony and let her ride on you. Your father was supporting you from behind. When you go out to play, you often have to watch your sister. There are slides and ocean balls in the park. I hold your sister and sit next to you. After playing for a while, you will look back at us. "

Such warm memories lasted for a while.

They both seemed to be tired, so they stopped.

Dad glanced at the window and said, "It's getting dark. Are you hungry? Let's go out to eat."

Mom stood up and asked, "What can I eat?"

"Just find a restaurant to eat. What do you want to eat?"

"I don't know. There must be people in the hotel at this point."

The two of them looked at me, as if waiting for my answer.

From beginning to end, they never asked me what I had been through this year.

I looked up at them without moving.

The relaxed atmosphere in the room slowly solidified.

"Lynch, you are no longer that little kid. Don't feel pressured. We did it back then, saying it was for you, but actually it was also for ourselves." Dad patted me on the shoulder and said solemnly, "You have grown up now. Now that you're older and working, it's time for you to take care of us and your sister. But just do whatever you want and don't worry so much. Your parents are retired, but they're not old yet. Even if you can’t walk, you don’t have to bear so much burden this year…”

He stopped, stared at me for a while, lowered his eyes again, as if thinking, and continued after a while: "Your mother and I have thought of it a long time ago. You may...encounter that kind of thing again this year. You Maybe it happened when I was in college... You were living on campus at that time, and we didn't know some things. We believe you will handle it well. The things you did... including the two things when you were a child, are not bad. It’s just that you were too young then. You are now older.”

Dad patted my shoulder hard again, "Okay, don't think so much. You still have to eat. Let's go eat first."

"Dad." I called him and my mother, "Mom... I have one last question."

"Just ask." Dad said generously.

"After that, did anyone come to your door?" I asked, "Did anyone come to your door and tell you about what happened to me?"