Chapter 2.6

When Xiao Wu let out a “ding” to remind Fan Yuan that he was breaking character, Fan Yuan was actually dumbfounded. After a few minutes, his head gradually cleared up, only then did he finally realize how just! How! F*cking! Foolish! He! Was!

He should be the big stick beating the mandarin ducks—how is it that he’s acting as peacemaker right after ripping into the female lead? He even urged the male lead to apologize to the female lead. He’s practically on his way to tying their red string for them! He’s really going off script here, okay!! Not only has his character’s image fallen apart, it has COMPLETELY fallen apart so that he even seemed refreshing and refined now?! It’s like he’s on the verge of becoming schizophrenic! This is seriously déjà vu!

Fan Yuan silently swallowed a mouthful of old blood. Even if he’s schizophrenic, it was caused by that douche Fang Xu. He couldn’t believe it. In spite of everything, that guy was still smiling. Don’t you know laozi’s entire reward just went poof! Again! This is all your fault, you asshole!

With great difficulty, Fan Yuan resisted breaking character any more than he already had. Feeling greatly distressed, he said, “Xiao Wu, this makes two worlds in a row that I’ve broken character. My perfect record isn’t perfect anymore. I suddenly really wanna smash this cracked pot to bits what do I doooooo QAQ”

“Ding. At present, the plot has already progressed forty percent. If Master were to give up now, all of the previous effort and hardships Master has undergone would be for naught.”

The hardships he had suffered...

A few scenes suddenly floated in front of Fan Yuan’s eyes.

One particular weekend, Fan Yuan was called by Fang Xu to come to his house. He pointed at a sack of walnuts on the ground and said that he wanted to eat them. Fan Yuan was obliged to grab a small hammer and squat down on the ground. He was seriously cracking the walnuts while the Great God Fang Xu leaned on the couch holding his laptop, watching a movie, and drinking freshly squeezed fruit juice. His tone was still dissatisfied as he urged, “Hurry up, you’re so slow.”

Or another time when Fang Xu made him peel an apple after lunch—peel it in one unbroken strip. When he carelessly broke the strip of peel, the Great God Fang narrowed his eyes in a cold expression, and said in a proud yet cute manner, “I don’t eat imperfect apples.” If he won’t eat it, then he won’t eat it, what can you do. But he still insisted that Fan Yuan start over and peel another apple. Fan Yuan peeled an entire bag of apples before finally producing a “perfect” one, yet in the end, Fang Xu suddenly didn’t want to eat it anymore. Again. If the original text hadn’t mentioned that Fang Xu was the archetypical perfectionist, he would have suspected that this was a deliberate attempt to torment him!

These kinds of situations were simply too numerous to count. If you had to pick the most mischievous, the absolute naughtiest kid on earth, apart from His Royal Highness Fang, the Emperor of Cinema, there could be no other. He was simply unmatched, the god-king of childish mischief.

In that moment, Fan Yuan finally recalled the fear that Fang Xu had once wielded and the various humiliations he had suffered from Fang Xu’s tricks and teasing.

Thinking of the wrongs he had suffered in the past, Fan Yuan was momentarily overwhelmed by the old grudges he held and the new animosity he felt. He was put into a towering rage. “I have put up with being unfairly wronged for so long, all for the purpose of properly completely the plot. If this guy would just follow the script, that’d be it. But he warps the plot every single day and even made me break character! This is unbearable! Intolerable! Even I can get angry, okay?!”

Xiao Wu paused for a moment, then asked, “Ding. What does Master plan to do?”

Fan Yuan groaned heavily. Very determined, he said, “I’m going to bend the plot back into shape. If he won’t go apologize, then I will!”

Xiao Wu: “&#k2026;&#k2026;”
Saying that, Fan Yuan stepped forward and stood in front of Fang Xu. He looked straight into Fang Xu’s dark eyes. His own eyes flashed with a touch of complex and bitter emotion, a trace of melancholy, and some helplessness. After a long time, he pursed his lips slightly and quirked up the corners of his mouth in a smile that held a trace of ingratiation. When the always-stiff-faced, outwardly-cold-but-inwardly-passionate man suddenly smiled, the scene was like a snow lotus blooming on the iceberg. Even Fang Xu was shocked and dazed by the sudden smile.

Fan Yuan’s voice was drowsy and rough as he slowly said, “Yes, this is my fault. I know I was out of line. I couldn’t control my emotions and said something unforgivable. I’m really sorry about that. But...... as long as it’s about you, I can never stay detached and rational. You know this, right? It’s because you’re truly too important to me.”

A complicated look flitted across Fang Xu’s dark eyes, but it was quickly covered up. Fan Yuan could only see the single-minded devotion in his eyes.

Seeing that he was listening carefully, Fan Yuan gave himself a silent pep talk and persisted on, saying, “Because of my impulsivity, you’ve made an enemy in the industry. This is not the sort of thing a qualified manager should do. I’m ashamed of myself. So I hope to do my best to remedy this situation. Since you don’t want to call to apologize, I will personally bring a gift over to Ms. Tan as an apology and make amends. I hope she can forgive my rudeness, and I hope she will forgive you as well.”

Fan Yuan had not yet finished speaking when he was pulled into the break room by Fang Xu. The door was closed with a thud and then he was being pressed against the door.

(⊙o⊙)???

Fang Xu grasped his chin with one hand, his grip extraordinarily strong. Fan Yuan felt a little pain and wanted to struggle free, but his strength was almost negligible in the face of the male lead’s. Resistance, naturally, was futile.

Fang Xu leaned in close to him, his voice deep and melodious. With a trace of emotion Fan Yuan didn’t understand, he said, “Do you really want me to call and apologize to Ms. Tan?”

Fan Yuan was a little stunned and his heart rose with hope. He looked up at Fang Xu and carefully asked, “You’ll do it?”

Fang Xu pushed his glasses up. Without his glasses, Fan Yuan couldn’t see clearly and could only sense Fang Xu’s burning gaze rake across his face. He shifted uneasily, but his movement was quickly suppressed by Fang Xu. He couldn’t help but cry in his heart. Why was he getting kabedon’d so easily? He’s a man too you know!!

Fang Xu looked at his pure and innocent yet slightly bewildered expression and his lips involuntarily curved up. His eyes held undisguised infatuation and madness, but in the very next second, his expression smoothed out without a trace of the previous emotions.

He moved next to Fan Yuan’s ear and whispered, “As you wish.”

In the end, he still couldn’t bear to part.

***********

Because the male lead turned back toward toward shore, the plot finally returned to its correct route.

Fan Yuan looked at the female lead, who adored the male lead more and more as the days passed, and inwardly shook his head, sighing. These past few years it wasn’t “fear the cultured gangster,” it was “fear the handsome gangster.” Especially those like Fang Xu, those immoral and despicable men with off the charts attractiveness—they should absolutely should not be released to wreak havoc on the world.

“Xiao Wu, tell me, what on earth did the male lead say to the female lead? That day she clearly ran away, crying like her heart was broken. Why did she just forgive him in the blink of an eye? It’s not scientific, I tell you.”

“Ding. It’s very possible the female lead’s Madonna halo kicked in. The plot is currently progressing at an extremely smooth rate. There’s still a half a month before the final shoot of the movie. After that, the degree of progress will reach fifty percent. Master, please keep working hard.”
When Fan Yuan heard the two words “final shoot,” his eye suddenly popped wide open. “Xiao Wu, Xiao Wu, if I recall correctly, don’t I have an important role to play after the final shoot......To the male lead...Seems like I’ll......”

“Ding. That’s correct. After the final shoot, the original host went to a bar to get drunk because he was envious of the male lead’s tender and considerate treatment of the female lead. After he was drunk, he blurted out a confession and then forced a kiss on the male lead.”

“............”

Fan Yuan looked at the currently filming male lead. At that moment, he was filming a fight scene. He didn’t use a stunt double, effortlessly throwing a group of tall, strong actors to the floor with shoulder throws. After that, he kicked another over with a swing kick. All this was done with no wasted movement. He directly and efficiently dispatched another two strong men. In passing, he put on a hat and then walked away, his hands in his pockets. Under the night sky, his tall, straight back appeared especially ruthless and unconstrained. Behind him was left a group of actors laying on the ground.

Fan Yuan swallowed his saliva. Although he knew this was a movie shoot, he couldn’t help but be afraid. Fang Xu was the male lead in a Mary Sue novel, his combat skills were absolutely higher than what he displayed. The male lead in the previous world, Gu Qi, casually K.O.’d the boss. Although he was still growing, he was definitely much, much stronger than Fan Yuan, that gay male side character.

The plot called for him to forcibly kiss the male lead, this was just asking him to throw away his life! Right?!

His voice trembled. “Xiao Wu, if I force a kiss on the male lead and he beats me to death after, leading to a mission failure, that couldn’t be considered my fault, right?”

Xiao Wu: “......”

“What are you trying to express by being silent at this time QAQ”

“Ding. According to the original work, because the original host was always loyal and true to the male lead, although the male lead was angry, he wouldn’t actually hit him with his fists. He merely fired him and changed to a new manager, so you can relax, Master. Additionally, after this scene ends, Master’s storyline is pretty much over. After that, you don’t need to participate in the plot. You can just wait for the story to finish up. This is definitely a good thing for Master.”

Fan Yuan thought of the plot later on. After he was fired by the male lead, he would rat him out to the female love rival and make her go up against the female lead. He had only to watch the fires burning across the river. By the time the female love rival and female lead finish fighting, he silently sent his blessings at the male lead’s wedding and then left, disappointed. Then it’s smooth sailing from there!

Fan Yuan was struck dumb by this happy piece of news. For a moment, his eyes that were watching Fang Xu became hot and enthusiastic. He could barely stop himself from sprinting over to forcibly kiss him right now, beating be damned. As long as he could free himself from Fang Xu’s evil clutches, he would be willing to be beaten into a vegetative state and spend the rest of his life in the hospital!

#Being a vegetable or meeting a poisonous male lead? I choose the vegetable.#

**********

On the way home, Fang Xu discovered Fan Yuan wasn’t acting entirely normal. From time to time, the corners of his mouth would twitch up and his eyes were strangely bright. It was evident that he was in a good mood. Fang Xu raised an eyebrow and remained silent, leaning back in his seat and closed his eyes to rest.

For this little guy to be this happy, there was assuredly some shenanigans going down. In his mind, he lightly called out, “Gui La, send the latter half of the plot to me.”

Immediately, a robotic voice answered him. “Gui La has received the message ^_^”

He spent a few minutes scanning through the plot. Fang Xu couldn’t help but lightly laugh. He seemed to carelessly glance at Fan Yuan’s elegantly shaped, cherry-colored lips and his eyes grew darker and darker.

“Forcible kiss, eh......I’m really looking forward to it.”

At that moment, Fan Yuan, who was driving, felt a sudden chill come over his whole body......Could he be coming down with something?

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