As The Wind Blows Your Scent To Me

Morning came.

While the previous days were brightened by the sun, today's sun was hidden by the dark clouds, waiting for the rain to fall. The entire city was engulfed by the gloomy feeling brought by the incoming rain as the sky was cloudy.

"...you came?"

Startled, Yuina looked at the opened door of her ward.

There, Himari was staring at her with a faint smile. She was holding to a paper bag in her hand.

"I just decided to come. Am I bothering you?" asked Himari cautiously. She loosely held the doorknob in another hand. 

Yuina shook her head. She was still bewildered to see the appearance of the English teacher.

"No... Not at all. Come in."

Relieved, Himari's stiff expression relaxed.

This morning, Himari woke up early. She didn't get a decent sleep. All she could do was tossing and turning on the bed. Her sleepiness only started to claim her when it's already so late.

Himari only had a few hours of sleep. Her complexion today was wan due to it.

"Have you eaten breakfast? I brought soup for you," said Himari as she placed down the paper bag on the bedside table.

"I have. The staff brought my breakfast to me," answered Yuina. She slowly propped herself up, leaning against the headboard.

The doctor came checking on her this morning, saying that she could be discharged in three days if her condition allowed it but, she still shouldn't go to work for at least a week. Because her pregnancy was still in the early stages, her bleeding wasn't as dire as the ones in the second trimester.

Himari pulled up a chair and sat down. She eyed Yuina with her lips pressed together.

"...how are you today?"

The question fell awkwardly out of her mouth.

No matter what, Himari didn't know how should she word her concerns for Yuina.

Yuina blinked. She let out a helpless laugh, "I didn't know how to say it."

The loss she experienced was still overwhelming her. It was hard for Yuina to accept that she had lost the child that she was carrying. Even though it was just for a short while, her love for the child had grown.

It happened too suddenly.

Yuina lowered her head. One of her hands was gently pressing on her lower abdomen. The acute pain that she suffered wasn't as bad as yesterday but, her body still felt weak. 

Yet, her heart was more uncomfortable.

Himari bit her lower lip. She unconsciously clenched her hands into fists, resting on her knees.

"Are you blaming yourself?"

Her voice was so quiet, resembling the soft wind blowing outside the window.

Yet, her words managed to make Yuina looked up, staring again at her.

The ward was brimmed with suffocating silence as both of them locked their gaze. Neither of them spoke again.

In the end, Yuina's weak laughter broke the silence.

The faint sound of it carried her despair.

"...how could I not? I was being careless yesterday, thinking that... it's nothing when my stomach cramped."

Even when she felt that Yuina kept forcing herself to work.

If she paid more attention to her body, she wouldn't...

Yuina laughed inwardly, ridiculing herself.

No matter how sad and regretful she was, she couldn't turn back time. 

She had lost her child. The fact couldn't be reversed.

Himari was anxious to see how hollow the look in Yuina's eyes was.

She had seen the same look before on her.

Himari desperately blurted out, "You know, most miscarriages don't even have a concrete cause for it to happen. Don't... don't blame yourself."

In the end, those were the only things she could say in an attempt to appease Yuina.

Yuina swallowed a bitter smile, "The doctor told me that too, but..."

Even when it's like that, it was still unbearable for her to not blame herself.

"It's alright if you wanna grieve but, please take care of yourself first. That's the most important thing right now," Himari anxiously added, each of her words was ladened with concern.

Seeing that the younger lady was sincerely worried about her, Yuina thought it was amusing.

Yuina was already grateful enough because Teacher Kato was with her yesterday, till the point the latter stayed until late just to see her regained consciousness. But, Yuina didn't expect to see her coming to the hospital again so early in the morning, with a thermos of soup she specially prepared for her.

In the suffocating loneliness, someone appeared to offer her comfort.

"To tell you the truth... I'm happy to have you visiting me, Teacher Kato," Yuina gave Himari a smile.

If not, she would truly feel she was alone facing this heartwrenching loss.

Himari sighed softly, "Have you... told anyone? About you being in the hospital?"

Thinking of Yuina might be alone was another thing that propelled Himari to come and visit her.

Her circumstances were really... pitiful if Himari wanted to word it.

As far as Himari knew, Teacher Masuda had lost both of her parents even before she reached legal age. And, even though she was married right now, her marriage was to the renowned film emperor.

Being with that kind of person, it was hard for either of them to live a simple marriage life like other married couples. 

Let's not talk about Film Emperor Ishizaki who was away due to work. Even if he was here, he had to disguise himself if he wanted to accompany his wife stayed in the hospital.

Shaking her head, Yuina replied, "I only have three people who are closed to me. My only best friend, my brother and... him. But, I haven't told any of them."

Although Yuina knew Kanna would be furious if she delayed telling her about a huge incident like this, Yuina couldn't bring herself to.

As for Hiro and Ryuu...

Yuina's eyes dimmed.

There was no way she had the heart to tell them.

The ten missed calls Yuina made to Ryuu last night were only returned four hours later. Ryuu was worried sick seeing so many missed calls from her but, in the face of his concern, she just answered she was bored.

She didn't care if he bought the stupid excuses or not.

"If you need anything, just tell me. I'll help you as much as I can," Himari said with a sullen expression, showing her determination.

"Hehe, you've reassured me with just that, Teacher Kato," Yuina curled up her lips, feeling her mood brightened for a bit.

Himari didn't stay long. Like last night, Yuina urged her to go home, telling her that she didn't have to waste her weekend just by sitting here. Yuina also said she wanted to rest since her body was still weak.

Knowing that it was bad to be persistent, Himari left when the clock struck to a quarter past eleven. Before she left, she kept repeating her words, saying that Yuina could count on her whenever she needed help.

As Himari walked down the hallway, the smile she showed to Yuina before she left drooped. Her mind wandered to what she felt yesterday. Even now, it was actually intolerable for her to recall the agonizing feelings.

Himari halted her steps. She stood still in front of a poster. The big-sized poster was showing an image of a mother holding her child.

Her eyes fell to the words printed on the poster.

[What an honor it is to be a tiny somebody's everything1]

Slowly, a smile crept up but, it lacked joy.

Himari took a deep breath. She turned around, leaving the hallway. She made her way to the hospital lobby. Because the visiting hours had started, people kept coming and going in the lobby including the patients and the staff.

That was the time when it occurred to her that she was currently in the hospital where Kazuya's brother was hospitalized.

East City Hospital.

Himari bit her lower lip.

She still remembered how distant she acted with him last night when all the thing he did was just because of him worrying about her.

Kazuya texted her this morning, asking if she had a good sleep but, Himari just answered him curtly.

When he sent another text, she didn't reply to it.

Kazuya didn't call her. Himari didn't know if he was just giving her space or had he become mad with her.

Himari let out a heavy breath. Her voice was shaky as she murmured, "...it's my fault."

Because of the unexpected incident that fell on Teacher Masuda, Himari was shaken to the core until she forgot to mask her feelings.

No wonder Kazuya was so worried about her.

But, she shouldn't let him feel that way. Not when he didn't know the reason why.

She also...

Felt so tired.

Himari rushed out of the lobby. She stopped under the eaves as her eyes darted to the dark and cloudy sky. 

Small droplets of rain began to drizzle, wetting the ground underneath people walking. The occasional gust of wind sent the drizzle to pouring on another spot, bringing with it the earthy scent of the light rain.

As the city was blanketed by rain, the forming mist began enveloping the entire city. The image conjured before her eyes brought a nostalgic feeling to her, something that was simple yet memorable.

Like...

Taking out her phone, Himari pressed on the familiar number. It didn't take the man long before he answered her call.

"Himari..."

Himari gently cut his anxious voice, smiling faintly, "Kazuya, can I see the painting again?"

As if he was surprised, Kazuya didn't immediately answer her, "...you can. You can see it. Where are you? At your apartment? I'll come and get you."

Himari closed her eyes, concealing her sorrow, "At the hospital. I've just visited Teacher Masuda."

"Stay there. I'll go right now."

After the call was ended, Himari didn't move away from under the eaves. She just let the coolness carried by the pouring rain engulfed her entire being.