As The Wind Blows Your Scent To Me

The rain hadn't stopped even after the noon changed to the early evening. The liveliness of the city was toned down by the continuous rain that was ushering in summer.

Inside a high-rise condominium unit, a man was quietly sitting on the edge of a bed, looking down at the pale face of a woman.

Kazuya raised up his hand. His action was gentle as he stroked Himari's hair. She was lying on the bed, sleeping deeply.

Even when she was sleeping, her forehead continued to crease, showing how uneasy she was.

"I was supposed to be a mother if not... for losing my child."

"Three years ago, I miscarried. It's... it's his child but... I wanted the child because it's my blood... not because of him... I just... That child, I lost him... I lost him even before I could hold him... I'm not..."

"Really... it's not because I wanted to get back to him... the child was my blood, my blood... like my mother with me... I'm not..." 

Until now, her desperate voice ladened with heartwrenching tears echoed in his mind.

Every time he was reminded of them, a sharp pain dug into his heart.

Himari kept crying after Kazuya saved her from her fall earlier. She hugged him back, both of her hands clenched his shirt, digging deep until the fabric wrinkled.

Time and again, she repeated the same words, telling him that she was sad because she lost her child and it wasn't because she wanted to use the child to get back with that man.

"Please... Don't hate me... Please, don't... I couldn't forget my loss... But, it doesn't mean that... I can't forget him... You, I'm with you right now... Please don't push me away..."

It was the very first time he saw how vulnerable she could be, more than when she cried because of Chiharu before.

Himari fell asleep after exhausting herself. Not knowing what to do, Kazuya carried her to his bedroom and lied her on the bed. He just let her sleep considering she didn't have any proper one last night.

"That time... Did Chiharu make her remembered the child she has lost?"

Kazuya felt so helpless because there was nothing he could do to ease her agony. 

It turned out that she was hiding excruciating pain inside her heart.

Before they started their relationship, Himari had told him that she was not everything he had seen from the outside. It made Kazuya wondered if this was the secret she kept.

But...

Did her pain was truly due to losing a child?

Kazuya couldn't help but think that there was something more behind it.

Besides, he felt sorry for her because it was likely that the miscarriage that her colleague experienced yesterday triggered her trauma.

Had she been thinking about how to tell him? That was why she suddenly broke down?

"...en."

Kazuya was startled, his thoughts shattered in an instant. He focused back on Himari who started moving on the bed. 

Her brows were furrowing, etching more creases on her forehead. Seeing that, Kazuya gently ran his fingertips over her forehead, trying to smoothen her tensed expression.

While he was doing so, Himari slowly opened her eyelids. Her eyes were staring at Kazuya who sat on the bed, unfocused.

"...Kazuya?" Her voice was so soft as she called his name. 

He smiled, "I'm here."

Kazuya lowered his hand from her forehead, tenderly caressing her face. The warmth of his hand gently permeated her skin.

Himari closed her eyes again. She nuzzled her face closer to his palm as if she didn't want to leave any gap with it. Her action softened Kazuya's smile.

"...strange," she murmured.

"What is it?"

Himari lightly moved her eyes, her eyelashes fluttered against Kazuya's hand. She opened her eyes again, still looking in a trance.

As he sat with his back facing the floor-to-ceiling windows, his face was obscured by a layer of shadow.

Yet, she could still faintly see how gentle his smile was to her.

Himari tugged her lips into a smile.

"Last night, I was so scared when I thought of telling you this but... I don't feel so stuffy anymore."

Kazuya froze.

Even after she had just woken up, her mind instantly recalled when she cried in his arms before.

"Himari..."

"Do you hate me now?"

Her voice was so soft akin to a whisper yet, the few words roared deafeningly in Kazuya's mind.

"Why do you think so?" He breathed out heavily, "Why must I hate you?"

Himari bit her lower lip. She gradually sobered up after sleeping for long.

Darting her eyes away, she smiled sadly, "I'm not the pure, untainted girl you might have in your mind. I've even bear a child of a man... without tying a knot with him."

The end of her voice sounded shaky, telling him that she wasn't fine as she told him.

Kazuya leaned down, his upper body hovering over Himari. Both of his large palms cupped her face, his action remained gentle.

Their eyes were locked together.

"If I hate you, I won't touch you like this," Kazuya curled up his lips, his breath danced on the tip of her nose as their distance grew closer, "Your past is a part of you. Why must I make a judgment over that?"

Himari's nose soured. Tears began layering in her eyes, blurring her view again.

"You could say that because..."

Her words were left unfinished. A trace of fear flashed in her eyes, attracting Kazuya's attention.

In a solemn voice, he asked the question he had been thinking ever since she revealed her hidden secret.

"Do you have another thing that you hide from me, from anyone?"

He was ever so gentle with her, even when he asked the question but her eyes quivered, frightened by the gruesome image that was suddenly conjured in her mind.

Kazuya smiled bitterly. He swallowed down his curiosity.

Before Himari could sink again in her fear and sorrow, Kazuya moved his hands away from her face. Both of his hands began to wrap around her trembling frame.

Himari was startled by the sudden embrace yet she didn't reject it.

His voice echoed softly next to her ears.

"Keep it to yourself if you're afraid to tell me or anyone. Please, just remember that your past won't define who you are. I won't leave, I won't hate you because of your past."

He was speaking from his heart. There was no disgust in his voice, the possibility that she was terrified of.

"...thank you. Really, thank you."

Himari burst into tears. She encircled her arms around his waist and nestled her face closer to him.

She really wanted to feel his presence right now.

No one knew how heavy her heart was when she just ran out of the car last night without even giving him one last smile.

The memory of her tainted past and the image of his eyes weighed with concern for her kept contrasting in her mind. Her heart was suffocated, she really wanted to let it all out.

As Himari's cries receded, she slowly pulled away from him. Kazuya loosened his embrace when she did so, his eyes were calm as the flowing stream in spring as he took in her expression.

Both of them sat up on the bed, staring at each other. 

Her cheeks were flushed red, stained with the remnants of her tears. Like the ripples of a lake, her watery eyes were dazedly looking into his gaze.

Kazuya was enraptured by how alluring she looked right now despite it was due to her sorrow. Without him realizing it, he gently pressed his thumb on her lower lip, feeling its softness.

"Can I kiss you?"

The lip under his thumb trembled, her eyelashes fluttered yet Himari didn't pull away from him.

The answer to his question was a slight nod from her.

"En."

Kazuya removed his thumb from her lower lip, softly cupping her face with his hand. Leaning down, bit by bit, he gently captured her lips with his own. 

Her familiar sweet scent swirled to the tip of his nose, enchanting him.

With the pouring rain as the backdrop, the two of them intertwined their lips, sitting on the bed. Himari lightly held to the hem of Kazuya's shirt as she returned his kiss.

It was gentle, reminding her of the drizzle falling softly on her.

"You're sweet," His voice was tinged with a smile once he pulled away from her, nestling the tip of his nose on hers, "Like a strawberry."

"What a joke," replied Himari softly, slightly breathless.

Kazuya laughed pleasantly.

Her cheeks were as red as a strawberry.

Himari shyly smiled at the man.

Deep inside her heart, she was grateful to be with him right now. His gentleness helped to ease her heart.

"Still sleepy?"

His question was unexpected yet Himari just nodded.

Then, he smiled.

"I'm sleepy too. The weather is perfect to just lie in bed."

The rain had yet to stop. It was undeniable that the continuous rain would just lure people to not go outside, doing anything leisurely in the comfort of their home.

"So... Let's sleep?" Himari asked timidly.

Even though her emotions were affected, she was still conscious of the fact that both of them were lying on the same bed, something they hadn't done before.

Yet, because of the kiss, she wasn't as bashful as she thought she would be.

Kazuya answered her with a smile, "En. Sleep."

Kazuya gently supported her as he lied on his side. Pulling her toward him, he placed a palm at the back of her neck, letting her rest easily on his chest.

Lying on the bed together, his lips could easily touch her forehead if he just leaned forward to her. Their breathing entangled together, warming up the short distance between them.

Himari was quiet as Kazuya ran his thumb over her eyes, touching where her tears dried. 

Both of them didn't realize how much time had passed as they kept looking at each other. The last thing they heard was the faint sound of the rain pattering on the walls, the last thing they saw was their own reflection on the other's eyes.