As The Wind Blows Your Scent To Me

Today was such a long, eventful day.

That was what Himari concluded as she was lying on the bed, stroking Chobi's fur. The furry tabby was curling next to her, dozing off.??

After Kazuya drove her back, Himari took a long and comforting bath. All of her pent-up emotions were gradually weighing less in her mind and heart, making her wondered if what she had done today was really something right.

Himari had a simple dinner after bathing. Her mood was generally good, so unlike last night. Once she cleaned up the kitchen, she immediately went to her bedroom.

The clock continued ticking as time was passing by.

Looking up, Himari let her gaze lingered on the ceiling. Although she was being quiet, her mind kept recalling everything that transpired today.

One by one, they were projected into their mind as to how a film rolled.

"Ha... I can't believe that I've told him."

If she didn't open her mouth and speak about it, Kazuya wouldn't even know.

She could just be quiet and treated it as something that had never happened but, the guilt and sorrow that she only kept for herself all these years began to form cracks on her defense wall.

She needed to let it out to keep her mind sane.

Kazuya had known.

Later...

Should she tell her mother and Nanako next?

For certain, they would be furious because she concealed it for years.

Himari took her hands away from Chobi. Pulling the blanket down, she slowly got off of the bed, wore her slippers then walked out of the bedroom.

The clock struck eleven o'clock, approaching midnight in an hour.

The air was chilly, carrying the lingering coolness brought by the wind today. As it was forecasted that tomorrow's weather would just be the same, there was no doubt that the temperature might further drop or just stayed the same.

Inside the dark living room, Himari sat on the couch with just the moonlight shone through the closed windows.

Despite how calm her eyes were right now, no one knew how messy she was on the inside.

Bit by bit, her mind retraced its way to the events that occurred three years ago.

Only known to a very few people who were strangers to her, she miscarried.??

It was Jun's child.

Over the course of their relationship of five years, the only intimate interactions between them were just hugging and kissing. Himari didn't dare to venture into the next step even though there were times Jun coaxed her to just embrace it.

Himari was reminded of her own mother.

Her mother didn't object to her relationship with Jun nor restrict her. She just asked Himari to be careful and take care of herself. Her mother didn't want her to end up like her younger self.

The history of her parents was almost unknown to Himari. She just guessed that she was conceived out of wedlock, an act that was still frowned upon even in today's society.??

No matter how many years and decades had passed, unwed mothers had always been sneered at by society while the fathers were praised for winning the women.

Her mother loved her dearly, never taking Himari's existence for granted but, her mother also didn't want her to experience the hardships she had gone through when raising her up.

That was why Himari had always been careful. Even if they used protection, a slight chance would still exist.??

But, on Valentine's Day three years ago, she succumbed to Jun's temptations.

On that night that was celebrated by lovers all over the world, both of them had a romantic dinner together, something that they had always done in the previous years. Jun booked a private dining room at a five-star hotel and surprised her with a feast that suited even the nobles.

As she wore a rose champagne-colored dress given by Jun the day before, Himari truly felt like she was a princess because he was being so romantic with her that night. She drank more than she should have, making her tipsy at the end of the dinner.

In fact, both of them were drunk although Jun was still more sobered than her.

The only thing that Himari remembered was Jun carrying her to a hotel suite, whispering sweet lovely words next to her ears before what should have been avoided, happened in the end.

The rose champagne-colored dress was thrown to the floor, lying there until morning arrived.

Himari remembered she was horrified when she woke up the next morning, seeing the traces of what Jun had left trailing on her skin. She was ashamed because she couldn't resist him.

"Hush, my love, don't be scared. You're with me. I'm sorry, I couldn't hold myself back last night."

Jun coaxed her with kisses on her face, ending them on her lips.

As Himari was swayed by his persuasions, she gradually let go of her fear. She couldn't help but think that since they were already together for years, something like this would be unavoidable after all, even though they had yet to marry.

"But... You didn't use protection, didn't you?"

That was her question once she calmed down.

Jun just smiled and said, "It won't happen again. I'd use it next time."

She blushed because she understood that once it was unleashed, it was hard to push this man from doing it again.

"How about the pills? I should still eat them, right?"

The moment the questions flowed out of her mouth, Jun's expression cracked.

"You don't want my baby? Just give birth to it if you're pregnant, we can take care of our child well. I really wanna see a mini version of you."

As he continued to coax her, Jun embraced her from behind, letting her bare skin touched his chest. Himari was still bashful but, she just let him be.

Jun looked so happy when they suddenly talking about a child.

"You're going abroad soon," Himari pointed it out.

In a few weeks, he would fly abroad for a post-graduate program.

"Don't worry. I could delay it or even cancel it altogether."

"What? No! You can't do that!"

"Hehe, why can't I?"

That morning, they bickered playfully until it was time to wash up. Himari shooed Jun away when the man attempted to enter the bathroom with her, making him laughed teasingly.

Himari had to admit that she was foolish when she decided to not take any precautions.

It was undeniable that she was scared because it finally happened but, her fear lessened in the face of Jun being so happy at the mention of their child.

Himari was really blinded by her love for him until she really disregarded the fact that their situation wasn't ideal for them to have a child together. His mother was still constantly harassing her, threatening Himari to leave Jun.

Besides, Himari didn't think that they would be so lucky to have a child just by doing it once. What happened that night was only known to them, she didn't even tell Nanako much less her mother.

But, not long after that, they broke up, initiated by her.

And, in the coming weeks, the news that she was pregnant hit her hard, leaving her frightened.

"Haaa...."

A sigh was heavily audible in the living room. Himari rubbed her face hard as if doing so would help her to erase the memories of that year.

"It's alright, it's fine. Since he has known it, he might be able to accept everything."

Himari quietly chanted the same words, persuading herself that nothing would stray off of the path.

Kazuya was a good man, she had seen it for herself.

To have such a man by her side was something she was totally grateful about.

Himari tilted up her head, looking at the gap of the curtains before her eyes fell on the gloomy night sky. Its murkiness resembled her own feelings right now.

The future had vast possibilities lying ahead of everyone, depending on the choices made by them.

Since she herself chose to reveal her hidden secret, albeit partially, she had to welcome any possibility coming her way as the consequence.

Closing her eyes, Himari let herself sank in the moments when the man gently embraced her.

Kazuya kept reassuring her that nothing would change with her revelation. He did everything he could to appease her conflicting emotions, as gentle as ever.

"We've just been apart for a few hours but... I already miss him."

With the tips of her fingers touching her lips, she was also reminded of his kisses.

They were gentle, firm as well as passionate, as to how he was in her eyes.

Unknown to Himari, miles away from her apartment, Kazuya was also sitting quietly inside his bedroom, looking at the cloudy night sky.

In the silence, his mind wandered to this eventful day.

No matter what he did, he kept on seeing the face of Himari crying. Her cries echoed in his ears, making both his heart and mind uncomfortable.

"Please... Don't hate me... Please, don't... I couldn't forget my loss... But, it doesn't mean that... I can't forget him... You, I'm with you right now... Please don't push me away..."

She kept pleading with him to not hate her.??

Her usually bright and bubbly self broke down in the face of the agonizing secret.

Kazuya felt his heart was so stuffy as he thought about her decision to let him in knowing the thing she kept hidden inside for so long.

Seeing how she fall apart as she told him about it, it was evident that it was not something she easily decided in a moment.

She was so lovable.

How could he bring himself to hate her just because of this?

In fact, it made him vowed to treasure her more, only letting her felt the peace life had to offer.??

Lowering his gaze, Kazuya stretched out his palms and looked at his calloused hands.

With these hands, he embraced her.

He just wanted her to feel safe and happy with him, no matter what else she was hiding.