Auction

"Do you know what those are?"

I look at them, feeling guilt weighing me down, dulling my senses. They depict men. Five strong men, eyes raised to the east, where the king's building stands.

"These are the men who died for you," he says, his voice heavy with the grief we both feel. "These are the men who will have died in fucking vain if something happens to you before your natural time."

"I'm sorry..."

"Stop saying that," he snaps, his face contorted with agitation. "You're not sorry. You don't know what sorry is. You say sorry, and then you do whatever you want. Because you know we aren't going anywhere. You know we will follow you to the ends of the earth..."

"You will?"

"Yes," he growls. "I would die for you, Trissa."

It would be sweet, if he wasn't snarling it at me.

"I..."

"Don't you fucking dare say you're sorry," he growls.

"I'm not worthy of this," I say, finishing my sentence. "I know I'm not. If I wasn't a female, I'd be in there with them. I know I don't deserve any of this attention. I know I wouldn't be getting it if it wasn't for..."

"Stop!" He snaps the word at me as I descend into self-pity again.

"Be worthy, Trissa," he says. "Be worthy of the sacrifice they made for you. Have your babies. Raise them. Don't ever take a single breath for granted."

I nod solemnly. This is a lot to take in, but I try not to hide from what he's showing me, the stark reality of all that has happened.

"You think more of me than some of the others. Thank you."

"What do you mean?" He cocks his head to the side curiously.

"They fuck me. They spank me. They lecture me. You expect me to be better. I'm going to try to be better."

He nods and puts his hand on my shoulder. "I do think you're worthy," he says. "I think you're capable of being great. And I think you are our partner. Not our captive. We shouldn't have to constantly beat you into sensible obedience."

"I guess you shouldn't," I agree, hanging my head.

"We're going to have more to protect than just you soon. We're going to have Tore's baby. And that little one is going to be trouble," Oren says. "Tore and you combined? I don't know if any of us will survive that."

I sense a little forgiveness now, a lightening of the mood. I allow myself a small smile.

"I'll do my best."

"Good girl," Oren says, drawing me into the hug I so desperately crave from him.

I breathe his scent, and just barely withhold the impulse to apologize again.

"So, would, I don't know, fucking my ass make you feel better?"

He pulls back and stares at me. For a second I think he is about to yell at me, but instead he bursts into laughter.

"My god, girl."

"True," Oren agrees. "But I'll have my turn with you another time. I want to be sure you've really heard what I said today. What you did... coming here, in some mad attempt to steal the treasury, or take over the whole city barefoot and pregnant—that was madness, Trissa. You can't afford to be mad anymore. You're going to be a mother."