Battle Royale of the Sinners

Sima Lang: "This is the jest of it, your majesty."

After obtaining the challenge from Guan Yu, Sima Lang reported the urgent news to Tong and everyone in the clan chat right away. He told Tong about the assassination order from Liu Bei and the duel challenge.

Lu Bu: "Let me do it! I want a rematch against this red-face again!"

As expected, Lu Bu was itching for a fight against a worthy opponent.

Tong: "Nah. He's my prey. I'm bored with sparring against my wife. Let me fight against a real opponent, or I'll get rusty."

Lu Bu: "If you're getting rusty, I'll be glad to grind the shit out of you when I'm free."

Tong: "Nope! You have that REGEN skill now, while I don't!"

Lu Bu: "Don't be a coward. I fought you when you still had this skill! Now, it's my turn to fight you while you don't have a cheat skill!"

Diaochan: "If you want to fight that much, I'll be your opponent."

After Medusa appeared in the conversation, Lu Bu stopped texting as he knew that he would never be this demoness's opponent. Moreover, getting beaten by a woman was humiliating, so he chose not to fight her again.

Tong: "Tell Guan Yu that I accept his challenge. Let him stay in that city for a few days."

Sima Lang: "Understood, your majesty. When will you be arriving?"

Tong: "Tomorrow. Let me prepare myself for a night. This will give him enough time to be in his best shape, so no matter what the result is, he can't complain."

It was settled that Tong accepted Guan Yu's challenge, but none of them had placed any stake yet. Everyone guessed that this deal would be decided on the scene, so nobody voiced their opinion.

Still, Sima Yi and Sima Fang were concerned about their family member's safety.

Sima Fang: "Did he harm you, Boda?"

Sima Lang: "No. He's a virtuous man as the rumor. He didn't harm me or my subordinates."

Sima Yi: "Why the heck did you meet that guy before you report to us!? You could have just texted a few words, and a dozen generals will be there to deal with Guan Yu!"

Sima Lang: "I'm sorry. I jumped the gun, and I panicked."

Sima Fang: "Control your emotion and breathing whenever you deal with an important task next time. Remember, if you are not calm, you are as good as dead. Anger is a contagious disease that will make you inflict harm to others or make them angry at you. Hatred is a source of anger and illogical judgment. Panicking is a reaction of an untrained and uneducated peasant. Hesitation and indecisiveness come when you lack courage and knowledge. Cowardice appears when you lack self-confidence. The lack of self-confidence shows when you lack practice and experience. The lack of practice only comes when you are lazy! And laziness only appears in your thoughts when you are selfish! Think about what you lack, Boda!"

As usual, Sima Fang lectured his son using the clan chat again. Even Tong felt like he got the sermon from this minister, too.

Sima Yi: "That's right, father. If your physical body suffers, your mind is lacking. If your mind suffers, your body is lacking. If your body and mind are suffering, you lack money, women, beers, and vodka! Get your ass to a red-light district or go find a wife, my brother! I'll send a few boxes of my good vodka to Ji in a month or two!"

Everybody: "…"

Not only all elite strategists were speechless by Sima Yi's silly proverbs, but Zhuge Liang was also confused by this logic.

Zhuge Liang: "WTF was that, senior?"

Sima Yi: "A profound thought of a genius scholar, brat."

At this moment, every member of the clan chat laughed as they predicted that this foul mouth upstart strategist would get himself into trouble again soon.

Even the old snake, Jia Xu, could not stop snickering and held back his laughter.

Xun Yu, who was in the middle of retelling the clan messages to Cao Cao, had to stop and laughed.

Everybody waited for the promised message from a certain individual.

'Is this idiot blind? Isn't his father's comment right fucking there?'

'Wait for it.'

'That fool did it again.'

'Daddy's sermon in 3…2…1…'

<<Ding>>

It did not take long for Sima Fang to press ENTER and sent another sermon message.

Sima Fang: "Son, I'm glad that you're exploring the world for enlightenment. But if I remember correctly, vodka is a restricted product that his majesty has stopped distributing due to the highly toxic level of alcohol. How did you acquire "a few boxes" of those, I wonder?"

Sima Yi: "…"

At this moment, someone realized that his tongue or fingers had slipped yet again.

Sima Yi's face drenched in sweat as if a waterfall located on the top of his crown.

Sima Fang: "I guess that I haven't trained you as much as Boda. I'll be visiting you again next month, and I'll shift my administration headquarters to Ganling, so I can get more time with you."

Sima Yi: "…"

Sima Fang: "Also, don't send those vodkas away. I have a feeling that I want to taste some of those. Mind if you share it with your father?"

Sima Yi: "But you don't drink, pops."

Sima Fang: "OF COURSE I DON'T DRINK, YOU DEGENERATE PRE-EJECULATOR PEDOPHILE SHITBREAK-ASS FUCKBOY!! I GUESS YOU WENT ON THAT PATH, HUH!? I ALSO HEARD FROM A CERTAIN COLLEAGUE OF MINE THAT YOU FORCEFULLY ASKED A LITTLE GIRL TO BE YOUR FIANCE. IS THIS HOW YOU BEHAVE IN THIS LIFE KNOWING THAT THE HAN DYNASTY IS MORE FLOURISHED THAN THE OTHER ONE!? YOU-(Further messages are omitted)

....

….

..

The sermon messages were 10-screen-panel long, which everyone had to scroll up-and-down to read the entire paragraph of non-stop dissing and cussing from an angry father.

Still, it was the best entertainment for all officers in the clan. More than half of the clan members coughed and choked as they almost died from laughing.

As for the receiving end of this sermon, he was in tears.

Zhao Yun and Wei Yan looked at this famous strategist from afar with a complicated expression. In the other life, this man was a dignified strategist that destroyed Shu Han's northern campaigns over and over again. Yet, he was there right in front of them, crying because of his father's sermon.

Moreover, this freak actually read through Sima Fang's messages in earnest. Had it been others, they might have closed the chat menu and ignored the entire wall-of-text altogether.

'What a psycho,' Zhao Yun cringed.

Wei Yan was impressed, 'Is this how he became an elite in the other world? I guess I have to be harsh on my sons and daughters in the future, too!'

.

.

.

The next day, Tong flew to Ji City as promised.

Upon arrival, Sima Lang and his men had already prepared the reception for him inside their assembly hall. Everything inside was decorated and refurnished to welcome the emperor, even though Tong never asked Sima Lang to do this.

A welcome banquet was ready, and the attendants were all present.

Surprisingly, there were many observers and over-paranoid generals here, who had arrived before Tong.

Dong Bai, Diaochan, Xu Huang, Taishi Ci, Zhao Yun, Wei Yan, Zhang Liao, Zhang He, and even Lu Bu were present in this gathering.

Tong could understand that his wives were worried, so they came here as an assurance, in case that Tong might get injured. As for Zhao Yun and Wei Yan, it was also understandable as they were once generals from Shu Han, and they were Guan Yu's friend.

However, the busybodies, Xu Huang, Zhang Liao, Zhang He, Taishi Ci, and Lu Bu were uninvited, and they had no reason for being here other than curiosity.

Still, Tong was happy that these men cared for him, even though a certain someone might have an ulterior motive. It was so easy to detect Lu Bu's enthusiasm as he kept smiling and warming up his muscles among the crowd.

*WHOOSH*

Another group of people landed inside the city. Three people landed, two 4-wing angels carried their lord here.

Cao Cao, Xiahou Dun, and Xiahou Yuan came here to spectate the duel.

Tong had a wry smile when he saw Cao Cao, "Has Xun Yu told you about this?"

Cao Cao shrugged, "Such an important event, why should I miss it?" He also looked around and met the eyes of his former subordinate generals, Zhang Liao, and others.

"Hey, you lots. Having fun in this life, huh? I looked away for a few years, and you motherfuckers jumped ships as soon as you had the chance!"

Cao Cao teased Xu Huang, Zhang He, and Zhang Liao. The latter three dryly laughed in awkwardness and embarrassment.

But this careerist minister could not enjoy himself for too long as an old nemesis of his stood behind him and patted his back.

"Good to see you being healthy as well, Cao Mengde. How about it? Wanna fight me again?"

It was Lu Bu, who teased back at Cao Cao.

Had it been before, Lu Bu would have killed Cao Cao without hesitation. Now, the enlightened man did not care about the past life as he only looked at the future.

Being bullied by the embodiment of his other world's nightmare was not fun for Cao Cao. He had a shiver running down his spine as this brute with a weapon got behind him unnoticed. Even Xiahou Dun and Xiahou Yuan got into a stance and ready for combat.

"Geez, you lots. It was a joke. Unless you two want to spar with me, that will be another story," Grinned Lu Bu as he cracked his knuckles.

Xiahou Yuan immediately jumped back and raised his hands, "We're kidding, too! Let's be friends, 'kay?"

Xiahou Dun clicked his tongue and sheathed his sword.

All four-wing angels, six-wing demons, and the six-wing angel entered the assembly hall for a banquet.

Inside, Guan Yu was already waiting for them.