Be Fascinated

Chapter 1

[Trigger Warning – Non-con.]

“So, the false interpretation of the Word of God turned out to be correct, and the noble woman who has received the true Word of God is worshiped here.”

This was the worst day of Philia’s life. She looked at those standing in front of her. Everyone turned their backs on her and looked at someone else.

In the middle of two rows of priests, walking side by side gracefully, was a woman. Philia looked at them with a blank expression.

It was the place where she once stood.

“The Saintess, Bianca.”

It’s known that God would sometimes send down a Saint on a whim to make His existence known.

The Saint designated by the oracle, God’s Word, was Philia. However, not too long ago, the priest who interpreted the oracle the first time committed suicide after saying that his interpretation was wrong. Or, to be more precise, ‘manipulated’.

Philia did nothing wrong. Because she was really innocent. The real Saintess, who was found after the oracle was properly interpreted, was a noble, dignified, and ideal Saint. She looked different from Philia, who had always doubted herself.

Wearing a laurel wreath from the High Priest, when Bianca flashed a bright smile, everyone began to cheer. Philia smiled bitterly and clapped.

‘It can’t be helped.’

Then, Bianca looked at Philia. Seeing this exchange, the High Priest opened his eyes and said:

“What are the priests doing? Why is that woman still there!”

People’s eyes were fixed on Philia. Sadly, since the oracle has revealed that she was not the real Saintess, no one gave her a second look. Because, everyone was busy with the newly found Saintess.

Philia looked at the High Priest, who used to be kind to her, but now he looked like he was looking at something dirty that needed to be cleaned up.

Philia looked around. Everyone was staring down at her with an unfamiliar expression.

It was as if her childhood growing up in the temple did not happen at all. The priests, paladins, and servants who were friendly to her all looked at her with reproach.

They were all asking with their eyes.

‘Why are you here, fake?’

When she was thirteen years old, the oracle was granted and she was separated from her parents by the priests. She was forced to live as the Saintess, but everyone was so kind to her that she forgot the grief over her separation from her family. And yet… that tenderness disappeared as soon as it was revealed that Philia wasn’t the real Saintess.

Swallowing her bitter heart, Philia came out among the crowd and curtsied to greet them.

“I am sorry for remaining here without any qualifications. Thank you to everyone who has been kind to me.”

“…”

“I am no longer worthy to speak to God. I wish the best of luck to everyone.”

This was Philia’s last ounce of pride.

She knew that they didn’t make this mistake because they wanted to. In the past, Saints ordained by oracles could use divine powers, so they could determine whether they were a Saint or not, but now the Saints couldn’t do that. Therefore, the only thing that could identify the Saint was the ‘oracle’. Mistakes like this can happen.

‘It’s my fault.’

At that time when the priests came to pick her up, saying she was the Saintess, she should have spoken strongly. When she wanted to ask a question, she should have spoken to the High Priest without hesitation. It was her fault that she didn’t say anything because she was afraid of losing the affection and love they gave her.

One day at the age of 20, suppressing her resentment that might pour out, former Saintess Philia left the temple as just an ordinary girl, Philia.

 

* * * 

“Saintess!”

Just as she was about to mount a horse, someone called out to Philia.

“Logan?”

She was one of the paladins who served her. He smiled sadly.

“How can you just leave? I’m very sorry to hear about what happened, Saintess.”

“I am no longer the Saintess. Logan.”

“I-I apologize.”

At Philia’s words, Logan made a look of regret and apologized. In fact, Philia was happy with Logan’s discourtesy. Because he was the only one who came to see her go.

“High Priest Irik will be disappointed.”

“If it’s High Priest Irik, he would have to take good care of the new Saintess.”

Irik was the high priest who served Philia, and he was the one who refuted the fact that the new interpretation of the oracle was wrong. Eventually, he confronted the high priests and was now in prison. It was a pity that she couldn’t say goodbye to Irik, but since he was a high priest, he had to live in the temple. There was nothing good about being friends with her.

“Let’s go.”

“What?”

“Miss Philia has been staying here long before you were declared as Saintess. It’s dangerous to be alone outside, so how can I let you go alone?”

“…”

“I will take you home.”

Philia smiled at those words. Home. It’s home, come to think of it. She had a home. In exchange for her becoming a Saintess, her house received a colossal sum of money. Just thinking about her family made her feel secure.

How about living with her family? That would mean an ordinary life. First of all, she didn’t have to pray every morning. She no longer had to read scriptures that she needed to memorize. She wouldn’t need to live a frugal life all the time. She could live a normal life from now on. That alone made her feel better.

“Thank you, Logan.”

“You’re welcome.”

Logan grinned. He raised the corners of his lips as he stared at the back of the Saintess as she rode the horse.

It was quite difficult for her to ride a horse, as she always rode carriages. The sun soon went down, and Logan took her to her quarters at an inn.

“Thank you.”

Logan even paid the money himself. Entering the room, she looked around. The walls were a dull gray, and the big bed didn’t smell very good.

“I apologize for letting you stay in this place. By the way, I rented the best room.”

“It’s alright.”

She had to get used to this kind of room in the future. Then she looked at Logan. Logan had been staring at her without leaving her room since before.

“Logan?”

Logan sighed at her question and said with an awkward expression.

“Unfortunately, Saintess, I cannot let you stay alone.”

“What?”

“I wanted to rent a room next door, but there were no other vacant rooms.”

“…”

“It’s dangerous for a woman to stay alone in a place like this. I will protect you.”

Philia was reluctant, but nodded anyway. In the past, there were times when the guards came and slept in tents when they went out on a pilgrimage. Back then she was with her maids, though.

“If you don’t like it, I will just be outside to protect you.”

Philia remembered the narrow hallway of the inn. She wouldn’t be able to send him to the hallway. She was no longer a Saint. I shouldn’t make a fuss.

“No, Sir Logan, I am no longer a Saint. Stay here and sleep.”

“Thank you.”

Logan chuckled.

Philia felt a momentary chill, but she tried to ignore it.

“I will prepare a bath for you.”

Logan said politely and walked out of the room. Blaming herself for feeling uncomfortable earlier, she sat on the bed.

Her mind was a mess. She didn’t know if she was relieved or dejected. How could such kind people change so suddenly? She still remembered those cold eyes.

Perhaps Logan had prepared it, but soon after, female servants came to take care of the bath. As she immersed herself in the warm water, Philia struggled to calm her gloomy heart.

 

*** 

‘Hnngh! Uhhhngg, AH!’

Philia woke up to the sound of a loud voice. This embarrassing moan came from the room next door. Whether or not they were aware that people could hear them from beyond their room, the people next door were too engrossed in their actions.

Hearing the sound of other people mixing bodies reminded her of that day three years ago.

‘Where is Logan?’

It was a shame that Logan and her had to hear this in their room. She looked around for Logan, but when she saw the heavy shadow standing by the bedside, she almost screamed.

“Lo-Logan?”

‘Uhnng, haa! Haaaanggh!’

Logan, standing next to the wall and listening to the sound, was looking down at her with an unreadable expression.

“What’s wrong?”

“…”

Fearing the silence, Philia sat up. Logan smiled widely. At that smile, Philia also smiled reluctantly.

“I’m sorry about this room. It’s a little embarrassing isn’t it?”

“No, it’s okay.”

“You are going to be thirsty when you wake up. Moisten your throat.”

“Thank you.”

Gulp, she drank the water from the cup Logan held out. Cool water ran down her throat. The aftertaste was a bit odd, but Philia thought it was just the smell of the cup.

“Saintess.”

“Yes?”

“That sound. Doesn’t it sound like a woman is forcing it?”

“What…”

“Obviously, some half-wit bought a woman who he’s now embracing. Without a clue. Prostitutes are good at mimicking these sounds.”

“…”

“You may not know, but there are a lot of prostitutes in this place.”

Why was he talking like that?

“Maybe the Saintess would have been popular if she were like those women.”

Philia flinched. It was because of the unbridled lust that could be heard lacing his voice.

“What do you…”

“There are a lot of men who are more attracted to such an innocent and slender woman than those common, glamorous ones. Especially a Saint. How much would they pay for you?”

“Logan, what’s wrong? I’m scared… I’m not the Saintess anymore…”

Perhaps she felt the fear creeping in, and cold sweat began to form on her body. Her breathing became rough.

“Do you know how many knights and priests had the Saintess in their hearts?”

“Lo-Logan.”

He narrowed the distance and stood in front of Philia, almost entirely facing each other. The heated gaze she felt made her step backwards, but behind her was the bed, where her back fell.

“Every night I thought of the Saintess. Every time, the clothes you wore would be gone, and your pale flesh would be exposed. The knights and priests could not take their eyes off you.”

“Stop it!”

“They would fantasize about their Saintess and how she would grow up, how her breasts would become…”

“You’re insane!”

Philia tried to sit up, but Logan pressed her shoulders down. Frightened by Logan’s eyes, she struggled and screamed at him. But the knight’s body weighed heavily on her. His hands began to unbutton her clothes one by one.

“L-Let me go! Kyaak!”

“It’s no use screaming. Because this is that kind of place.”

“…Logan, Logan!”

“They’re all stupid people. To miss an opportunity like this because they’re preoccupied with a new Saint.”

“Kyaa! Anybody, please, please!”

“…”

“Irik, Irik! Brother!”

Her top was almost torn, and she became half-naked. Logan’s strong hand gripped her thigh forcibly.

“High Priest Irik would have eaten up the Saintess as a snack for the night.”

“…Stop it!”

“Why, Saintess, weren’t you curious about what goes on between men and women?”

“Don’t be absurd! Who said that!”

“Then why were you watching what your maid and I were doing back then?”

“…”

Philia stopped struggling and looked at Logan. At that time, the man’s face was hidden behind the tree, so she couldn’t see who he was. That man was Logan?

“Y-You?”

“Aren’t you curious?”

“…”

“Ahh. Those eyes were so excited. But you ran away too fast.”

“N-No!”

“I’ll let you have it more than that woman.”

She was feeling so shameful. She felt as if she had been caught in the act. Her clothes were almost stripped off, and she felt something prodding at her stomach. Philia looked up at Logan, and then she shook her head and pushed him as hard as she could.

“No! Stop it!”

Then, a strong hand slapped her cheek. Her eyes widened at the same time as her ears deafened at the stinging pain. She had been assaulted. It was the first time in her life that someone raised a hand against her. It hurt. But even more frightening was Logan’s change in demeanor.

“Now you’re nothing! Do you still think you are a Saint? Don’t be so arrogant…!”

Was he truly always kind to her? He was a respectful and polite man. But now, his eyes seemed to have a hint of insanity. Even worse, the knight she had once trusted and relied on would insult her and even beat her.

She was terrified for the first time. Seeing the hardened figure, Logan smiled bitterly. Philia knew what was going to happen to her.

“Haaa, the drug isn’t working properly.”

“Drug?”

Don’t tell me, the medicine he gave me earlier…? She realized what’s strange about the water Logan had given her.

“Just wait and see. Soon, you’ll cry and bawl as you’ll want to f*ck a man.”

It was a vile and terrifying thing to hear. It never crossed her mind to want that. But Logan’s calm, snake-like eyes were suppressing her and watching her reactions.

Philia’s breathing sped up. The strength in her body began to loosen. Heat rushed to her face, and her lips were dry, but she started sobbing when Logan ripped the buttons on her clothes. Her chest, pure white like flour, popped out.

“Haa, damn it, they’re bigger than I thought.”

Saliva pooled in Logan’s mouth, then he shuddered and licked his lips.

No one would ever know how much—just how much he wanted this woman. He secretly heated up as he sees everything about Philia, especially when the exposed flesh between her white priestly robes would be pulled up by mistake. When it was his turn to guard her room, he was ecstatic. Because he’d be able to see her in thin clothes.

Philia wasn’t flashy or pretty enough to shock anyone, but her features were fine and beautiful. And, as a woman who had never been touched by a man, it stimulated his desire to conquer her. Bright blonde hair, white hands. How he wished that the quiet and serene face fluttered with pleasure.

“Stupid bastards.”

He ridiculed the paladins. They were all lusting for Philia, but they were pretending not to be, trembling in their pretense. But Logan didn’t miss the chance.

If he had an opportunity to lay with this pure woman, he wouldn’t waste it at all. He left the knighthood at the same time Philia left, then pursued her.

She’s a stupid woman with no ability to survive anyway. He would hold her until he got tired of her, tame her, and then sell her to the nobles. This woman used to be a Saint. How high will her price be?

Meanwhile, as she tried to cover her breasts, Logan lifted her chin and said.

“Stay still, before I tie you up.”

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Logan’s hand touched her chest. Tears flowed from her eyes. Philia squeezed her eyes shut. If something terrible was going to happen to her she wished it would be over sooner. The woman’s voice over the wall stopped for some reason. That was then.

Bang!

The sound of the door being opened could be heard. Philia struggled even more at the sound of the thunderous bang and closed her eyes tighter. All of this felt unreal. She raised her head with a hazy gaze.

“Who is it!”

At that moment, the weight on her disappeared, and at the same time, she felt a blanket being wrapped around her bare body. It was a familiar scent. She opened her eyes in surprise. There stood a man looking down at her.