Be Fascinated

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Chapter 18

“Philia…”

Irik grabbed Philia’s shoulder. At that moment, the shoulder of the dress she was wearing came down. Irik saw the red marks left on her neck. He knew at once what those were.

That man—the man’s mouth coveted her. His saint had already been defiled.

“Are you sleeping with the prince?”

At Irik’s words, Philia’s vision turned white.

“Tell me, Philia, did you give up your body?”

Contrary to her vision, her face was dyed red with shame.

“I’m asking if you got yourself defiled by a man!”

Being defiled… Philia became a dirty woman in an instant. For a moment, Philia saw contempt in Irik’s eyes. No, it was perhaps hatred towards her.

“You too… You are just like any other woman.”

“……”

“You fell for the man’s appearance, for obsession with wealth… Now you have given away your precious innocence. As soon as you knew you were not a saint, you gave your body to the flames of filthy lust!”

Along with shame, why did she feel guilty? Now, she was no longer a saint. She didn’t have to keep her vows of chastity either. At Irik’s remarks, she bowed her head like a criminal. Then, Irik became even more incensed.

“I was wrong about you. You have already changed.”

Irik’s chilly voice pierced the back of her neck. And as she looked down, the blue dress she was wearing filled her gaze. This was a gift from Claude. Because he knew she liked colorful clothes. Philia grabbed the hem of her skirt. No, she was not a sinner.

“Don’t treat me like a sinner.”

“…….”

“You said you value me, Priest, and yet you ignored me the most.”

“…….”

“I am not a saint.”

“Philia.”

“And yes. I slept with His Highness.”

“You!”

“It was what I was hoping for. Actually, I was very attracted to His Highness.”

“…….”

“I guess I was a woman who couldn’t help it. I apologize for disappointing you. But, Priest. You have no right to criticize and scold me. I am just now an ordinary person.”

“…….”

“Even if I was foolishly deceived by His Highness. Even if I get abandoned by His Highness. I will take responsibility for my life. So please go back.”

Irik’s face burned red with anger. Philia had a determined expression on her face.

“Philia!”

“Brother was disappointed with me, but I was also disappointed with Brother.”

Tears welled up in Philia’s blue eyes. Irik looked at her with a puzzled expression. It was Philia, who became the kind of woman he loathed. But why was she shaking with those tears? Irik looked at her and, as if possessed, spoke to Philia.

“Philia… I… I– Nevertheless. I cannot give up on you.”

It was a bittersweet regret. He was angry at Philia for being defiled by another man, but when Philia cut him off, Irik was terrified.

Irik lowered his voice as he looked at the door, and he spoke secretly.

“I will send you a bird.”

“…….”

“Send me a letter if you ever get abandoned or in a dangerous situation.”

“You don’t have to.”

Philia refused, but Irik did not listen and went out of the room. Philia sat down on the sofa with a look of disappointment. Tears flowed from her eyes.

It was just what she had envisioned earlier in the garden. She knew that the priests would despise her once they knew what she was doing. But she thought Irik wouldn’t.

Her heart ached at Irik’s hurtful words. Nevertheless, it was even more heartbreaking to say that he would contact her, or she should contact him if she was abandoned.

“I didn’t know you were such a person.”

It was then that Philia realized what kind of person Irik was. He thought of her as an idealized version of herself. But the moment she didn’t have those qualities anymore, he blamed her and got angry. But it was also true that he cared for her.

‘You are just like any other woman.’

What did Irik think that made her different from the rest? She began to sob sadly.

“Miss.”

Paula came in and hugged her. Philia sobbed louder, and she began to cry.

“Lady, you don’t have to listen to such a person.”

“Paula, I… I… Am I such a fool?”

She asked with a puzzled expression. Paula didn’t answer.

“He was like my older brother. At least, shouldn’t he be happy that I’m living a good life first?”

“You said it well. Whatever it is, it’s not the Miss’ fault, whether or not you’ve slept with someone.”

At this moment, Paula had a heartfelt sympathy for this lady. After listening to the conversation, Paula finally realized who she was.

“Even if the lady is a saint, it is still the same.”

“You have heard everything.”

“Of course. I stood outside because I didn’t want to give him a chance to harm you. Now, give me your hand.”

At Paula’s urging, Philia reached out her hand. She found out that she had been pierced by a rose thorn and wounded.

“Lady, where are your wounds?”

At Paula’s question, Philia looked at her finger. She had no thorn wounds.

“It was obviously a big wound…”

“There was only a lot of blood but it must have been a small wound. Thank God.”

“…….”

“How good would it be if the wounds inflicted by people were like this?”

Philia said so and began to sob. Rather than the wounds on her fingers, the wounds in the heart that Irik had inflicted hurt more.

‘If you can’t have it, you want it more. They are such beings, Philia.’

How can he say such a thing? Her tears couldn’t stop. So Philia wept sadly for a long time.

 

* * * 

It was evening when Claude arrived. He went up to Philia’s room without changing his clothes.

As she sat in her chair and wept, Philia looked at Claude and she stood up. He promptly noticed that Philia was reluctant.

“Claude.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she opened her mouth.

“What the hell is going on?”

At Claude’s question, Philia bit her lip. Sad tears continued to flow.

“S… So.”

“…Philia. Come on.”

Claude reached out to her, but Philia shook her head. Claude’s eyes narrowed. He knew what happened today.

“Claude, why do you like me?”

Irik’s words hurt her, but inside, it once again stirred up her anxiety. He likes her. But why does this person like her? As Irik said, because she’s rare?

“Why are you asking that?”

“I want to know.”

Claude said without thinking much.

“There is no particular reason. I just like you.”

“…….”

“The moment I saw your face, I immediately thought that I wanted you.”

It was Claude’s honest words. But it sounded hopeless to Philia.

“You want me?”

“Yes, I wanted you. I also wanted you to cry.”

“…….”

“But seeing you cry like this makes me feel bad again.”

Claude bowed his head. He wanted to touch her swollen lips from crying, and lick her tears.

“Huhh…”

As she sobbed, Philia blinked her eyes. She was still crying.

“So you don’t like it?”

Philia looked at Claude’s face. In a way, the expression on his face with subtle hesitation was like a child. She looked into those eyes, those eyes, and believed that he liked her.

“Uhm…”

His hand patted her and then started stroking her back. She knew what pleasure he would bring soon. Would this strange feeling go away if she slept with him and let him hold her? If she cried out for the hot and violent pleasure, perhaps she would be able to forget it.

The troubled Philia eventually rubbed her own thighs between his legs. Before he could say anything, she kissed him.

It meant permission.

“I think I’ll go crazy if you provoke me like this.”

He lifted her up and sat her down on the table and poured kisses. With her skirt rolled up, he stood between her legs as he leaned down to kiss her.

This man, whose thoughts were a mystery to her, went into heat like a beast when he intertwined his body with hers. She wanted to check that.

“Ah!”

Supporting the body that fell behind, he pressed her body closer together. His huge thing could be felt through his clothes. Like her, he was excited. She was happy with it, and she grew confident.

“Philia.”

When he took off all of his pants, his bulging manhood was revealed. It was a terrifying thing, but Philia stroked it. From the tip, the already clear liquid was coming out. Claude bit her neck as her hand ran down the pillar of flesh.

“Hagh!”

It was stinging, but the low-pitched moaning in her ear was strange. Locking him to her with her own legs, Philia gasped for breath. Her blue dress was unbuttoned, revealing her large breasts.

“Mmm!”

He bit the protruding nipple. As she writhed, his pillar between her legs grew so large that it was hard to hold in her hand. The tip of his tongue swirled around her nipple. She felt a tingling sensation between her legs.

“Claude, hurry.”

Claude smiled lowly at her urging, and he took off her underwear. Her underwear was already wet with just him caressing her. Perhaps because of her urging, Claude’s manhood immediately pierced her.

“Hmngh…!”

It was painful because she wasn’t wet enough. Philia scratched his back, and he grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up.

“Uuungh!”

A shrill voice leaked out. It was as if there were stars in her eyes. Her thighs trembled spontaneously.

“I like that you sound like a beast.”

Claude whispered softly. Like a beast? She bit her lip. Claude grinned and grabbed her butt, moving wildly.

She bit her lip as if she was c*mming. The more he did, the rougher his movements became.

With the blunt sound of his flesh hitting her skin, his genitals touched the spot she felt most sensitive to, and she finally couldn’t bear it.

“Haangg!”

As much as she had endured it, it was a clear and lewd sound. She felt the liquid flowing between her legs. As a huge and hot thing thrusted into her, she had become his musical instrument.

Holding him, she saw the blue dress barely draped over her body. She wore that blue dress and she was in the arms of a man. She was a woman who was howling with pleasure…

Even to appease her broken heart, she was using this pleasure. It was a situation that was as far-fetched as a dream. Oh, how she had considered this act a sin.

“Nnngh!”

Philia admitted that she had changed. She looked at Claude as she met his eyes. As they made eye contact, he kissed her again.

 

* * * 

Irik trembled in anger. He looked like he was going crazy. It was hard to believe that the young and naive Philia had changed so much.

She had always been naive, and she obeyed him well. She was very stubborn, but it was all just cute whining.

He couldn’t sleep for several days. In his mind, Philia, being violently assaulted by Claude, came to mind.

That beast would rip the blue dress she wore roughly. Then he would see her white flesh. Perhaps Claude kissed the slender neck again and carved a red mark.

Claude, that bastard, would take Philia like a beast, rubbing her soft, white breasts filthy.

And when Philia would open her bright red lips with that beautiful face, she would make a pretty sound…

Thinking like that, Irik suddenly came to his senses. What the hell are you… What were you thinking? Leaving Philia?

Irik couldn’t believe he had such an ugly idea. He looked between his legs. His body couldn’t control it just by imagining it, and he was revealing his desires.

“Crazy…”

He let out a low swear word, and prayed to God, and cleaned his body. But the aroused body showed no sign of subsiding.

He needed holy water. If he poured holy water on it, it would clear his mind, so it would definitely help.

Irik moved, and it was only when he came out to the corridor that he knew that it was already dawn. The temple was quiet.

Irik naturally silenced his footsteps. It was not a sin to take a cup of holy water, but it was because he was reluctant to explain why he wanted to take it.

How could he say that he has an erection because he thought of Philia?

As he headed to the shrine where the holy water was, he heard someone’s voice.

“Why do you do things like this?”

It was a woman’s voice. Irik halted his footsteps.

“But, no one noticed.”

“No one noticed? There will be some who pretend not to notice.”

It was the voice of the real saint, Bianca. Who was the priest next to her? What were they talking about? As if answering that question, Bianca said.

“Does it make sense for a person to die by hanging to commit suicide without a pedestal?”

“…….”

“If the Crown Prince knew, it would be something to be very angry about!”

Hang their neck? Pedestal? Prince? Irik’s head turned. He recalled that the priest who interpreted the oracle committed suicide by hanging.

“If something’s wrong, I might get kicked out like Philia!”

She said sharply. Irik quietly retreated. His heart was pounding.

The pieces of the puzzle were already put together in his mind.

Bianca said she could have been kicked out. There was only one excuse for her to be expelled, and that was the ‘oracle’ that made Bianca her saint. The priest who interpreted the oracle committed suicide by hanging himself. Come to think of it, why didn’t he notice that it was an absurd suicide case?

At some point, his hazy mind returned to clarity.

Now, the Saint Bianca was a fake. Philia was the real one.

The priest who interpreted the oracle as a conspiracy of the Crown Prince was murdered under the guise of suicide, and Philia fell into the hands of the Crown Prince.

Everything was his doing!

Irik headed to the scripture engraved with the oracle. The steps were getting faster.

Then, Irik’s footsteps stopped. He couldn’t decipher the scripture now anyway.

Philia—he must save Philia. The poor saint who was persecuted without knowing anything!

Irik clenched his fists.