Beauty and the Bodyguard

Chapter 425 - Let's Go Shark Hunting

“Good opportunity? What’s so good about planting trees?” Pinliang didn’t quite understand what Xiaofu was trying to get at.

“Liang Bro, think about it! You could get a tree model and etch Chu Mengyao’s name on there! That’ll please her for sure, it’s what girls like! Flourishes!” Xiaofu said. “Just like in that movie The Return of the Condor Heroes, when Guo Xiang gave Hou Yangguo fireworks as a birthday present! It made her so happy she married him!”

“Did they marry? I remember Guo Xiang becoming a monk?” Pinliang blinked.

“Uh… Maybe he did become a monk, I don’t remember. Maybe I’m thinking of the wrong movie…” Xiaofu said, embarrassed. “But I think becoming a monk is for the sake of love, too- anyway, this tactic’s gonna work for sure!”

“You’re telling me to give her fireworks?” Pinliang asked.

“Yeah, Liang Bro- haven’t you heard that it’s never night with fireworks?? We’ll just give those to Chu Mengyao!” Xiaofu suggested.

“Yes, we’ll do that! I’ll go buy a sapling!” Pinliang found the idea to be a lot simpler and better than writing a letter in blood. At the very least lighting up the night with fireworks didn’t involve self-mutilation.

“The sapling needs to be special- if it’s the same as everybody else’s it won’t look special!” Xiaofu said.

“Right, I’ll do some research and get an imported sapling later.” Pinliang was getting excited himself- Xiaofu had finally provided a useful suggestion.

“Liang Bro, do we need to tell this to lil sis Xiaoxiao? She’s the big sis boss of our class now… We might need to mention something this huge to her beforehand.” Xiaofu reminded.

“That’s right, we do need to mention this. It’d be bad if it conflicts with some plan lil sis Xiaoxiao thought up against Lin Yi.”

Pinliang asked Xiaoxiao out to a corner of the field after school, thinking of telling her about Xiaofu’s suggestion before making the preparations.

Xiaoxiao listened to Xiaofu’s explanation patiently, but wasn’t too interested in whether Pinliang was chasing Mengyao or not. Her target was Lin Yi.

“Is that it? What does that have to do with me?” Xiaoxiao frowned. “I thought you guys came up with something to humiliate Lin Yi with!”

“Humiliate Lin Yi… Lil sis Xiaoxiao, didn’t you want to punish him? How come it’s just humiliating him now?” Pinliang blinked. He’d assumed that she had some serious beef to pick with Lin Yi, but that didn’t seem like that case.

“Why do you care what I want?” Xiaoxiao hmphed. “I got humiliated so bad today, so I need to pay him back the same way!”

“Uh… If that’s all then I actually have an idea…” Xiaofu’s eyes lit up.

“What kind of strategy is that?” Xiaoxiao wondered if this dog headed general could come up with something insightful this time.

“We’re going for flair and impact, right? So we’ll be needing fireworks and everything. We’ll give you some firecrackers, and you can hang them on Lin Yi’s butt, light it up, and… Heh heh, it’s as humiliating as it gets with the show’s from Lin Yi’s butt!” Xiaofu wasn’t good at much, but he was pretty competent when it came to petty tricks.

“Oh?” Xiaoxiao considered the possibility carefully. If all went well, then it was actually a pretty good plan. Hanging firecrackers on Lin Yi’s butt without getting discovered, and when Pinliang lit up the fireworks she could ignite those firecrackers, making it look like he’d gotten hit by some of the fireworks… Even if Lin Yi wanted revenge afterwards he wouldn’t have any evidence to go on!

“Lil sis Xiaoxiao, I like Xiaofu’s idea!” Pinliang was full of hate towards Lin Yi, so humiliating Lin Yi was something he’d definitely cooperate with Xiaoxiao on.

“Uh… Let me think about it first.” Xiaoxiao wasn’t as impulsive as Pinliang was- she needed to properly look into this and see how likely of a success it’d be.

“Yao Yao, are we going sapling-planting tomorrow too?” Yushu was pretty excited for the event tomorrow. To tell the truth, she always looked forward to things as long as they were fresh and interesting.

“Of course we are. Years and years after our graduation, when we’ve gotten married, we’d be able to bring out children back here and tell them their mothers came to this school. It’ll be really educational!” Mengyao nodded, all serious.

“Oh, would our children have the same father then?” Yushu asked.

“Shu!!” Mengyao glared- she wanted to pry Yushu’s head open and see what special ingredient was mixed up in that structure. How could she so naturally turn something so serious into a joke?!

“Hm?” Yushu blinked.

“Open your mouth.” Mengyao ordered.

“No! Never.” Yushu shook her head.

“Why?” Mengyao blinked. Yushu had always been pretty obedient.

“You’d pull my tongue. It hurts.”  Yushu said,

“Why do you keep saying that if you know it’d hurt, then?” Mengyao hmphed.

“Then I won’t talk about that anymore.” Yushu promised.

“That’s what you always say! It never ends, you’ll just do it again next time! The time after next time, when will it end?” Mengyao didn’t believe Yushu anymore.

“Yao Yao, the original saying is day after day, when would it end?” Yushu corrected.

“Oh. Day, then. It’s the same, who care- Shu! You’re changing the subject again!” Mengyao didn’t know what to say- Yushu almost got away again.

“Heh…” Yushu stuck her tongue out. “Aren’t we going to do some research? We need to go buy some saplings!”

“Fine then…” Mengyao decided to forgive Yushu for now. Dealing with a best friend like this required an open heart- she needed to be the better woman and take a step back! Otherwise, she’d die from frustration. “Go tell Lin Yi to follow us in his car. We can’t put small trees in our car.”

“Alrighty! Shield Brooo- Shield Brooo!!” Yushu called out loudly.

Lin Yi had went back into his room after seeing Yushu and Mengyao arguing- he’d gotten used to the two’s behaviors already. He came walking out his room after Yushu’s summons. “What?”

“Shield Bro, I wanna eat shark meat again!” Yushu said.

Mengyao almost knocked her head on her sofa and tripped over- weren’t they just talking about saplings?? Why was Yushu talking about shark meat?

“Oh, they don’t sell it in the markets. You wanna go catch one yourself?” Lin Yi was speechless- shark meat wasn’t good at all, so how come this Miss Chen liked eating stuff like that so much?

“Oh, oh! Sure! Yao Yao, let’s go to the sea and hunt for some sharks, okay?” Yushu suggested.

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Chapter 426 - Journey to the Sapling

“Shu! Aren’t we shopping for saplings?” Mengyao held herself back from fainting as she grit her teeth.

“Oh, yeah. Then let’s go buy some saplings first.” Yushu nodded.

“Lin Yi, we’re going to buy some saplings. Our car isn’t big enough- should we take your car there?” Mengyao decided to just ask Lin Yi herself.

She didn’t really want to talk to Lin Yi right now- she didn’t quite know how to react to Xiaoxiao going after him like that. She felt embarrassed about it, since it was trouble she’d caused… She even asked Yushu to go question if Lin Yi was playing around with girls again.

“Sure.” Lin Yi nodded. He couldn’t reject an order from the Miss. “Are we going now?”

“Yeah, let’s go now…” Mengyao stood up and pulled Yushu along, getting ready to leave with Lin Yi.

It was the first time the Miss and Miss Chen were taking Lin Yi’s run-down van- needless to say, they were quite shocked at exactly how run-down it was.

“This car, Shield Bro… Does it still work?” Yushu simply couldn’t fathom how a car this broken down still managed to move. It seemed to be moving pretty fast, too.

“You can tell if it works now, right?” Lin Yi smiled. “A follower like me’s lucky enough to even have a run-down car to drive.”

“Oh. I’ll give you my car then, I don’t like driving anyway.” Yushu said seriously after hearing that.

Mengyao, on the other hand, felt a little embarrassed- Lin Yi was her follower, but there wasn’t even a car for him to drive… He must’ve gotten this van from some scrapyard or second-hand place. She cleared her throat. “Lin Yi, I’ll tell Uncle Fu to get you an SUV tomorrow…”

“Ah… It’s alright. I’m actually pretty used to this one…” Lin Yi wasn’t expecting the Miss to be so sensitive. He didn’t mean anything by talking about it, but she was offering to buy him a car because of that.

“Oh…” Mengyao wouldn’t insist after Lin Yi’s refusal- that wasn’t something she did. “That Feng Xiaoxiao didn’t cause you trouble today, did she?”

“Man. Of course she did. She sneaked up on me in the bathroom to film me and threaten me with it, but I thought it was Zhong Pinliang, so I got all my urine on her… It’s a big deal now!” Lin Yi didn’t hide anything, since the whole thing had started because of that day when he was with the Miss. Mengyao wouldn’t really be able to blame him for anything Xiaoxiao did because of that.

“Ah? You… You got your urine on her because you thought she was Zhong Pinliang?” Mengyao’s eyes were wide open. She was there with Shu when he’d made it rain in the bathroom before, and Zhong Pinliang’s expression of agony was a little funny… But things were different if the victim was a girl. How humiliating would that be?

Mengyao could imagine herself going suicidal if it’d been her- Xiaoxiao wouldn’t let this go that easily.

“Ah, it’s nothing. It’s her fault for going to the men’s bathroom.” Lin Yi didn’t really mind. “Let her do what she wants- she’ll leave after she gets tired of revenge. She’s just some gangster girl.”

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t think she’d go after you like that…” Mengyao said apologetically. “Maybe I can go talk to her about it, tell her that what happened that day wasn’t your fault…”

“Hm?” Lin Yi looked at the Miss, a little surprised. He wasn’t expecting her to say something like that.

Mengyao’s face reddened a little as well. She hmphed and explained herself. “I’m a fair person! So don’t think me speaking up for you means anything! Let me tell you that I actually still hate you a lot!”

Mengyao had uttered the words in panic, but started regretting it after saying it… Did she really still hate Lin Yi? It didn’t feel like it anymore…

“Haha…” Lin Yi smiled. “I know. But Feng Xiaoxiao won’t be able to do anything to me anyway, so might as well stay away from her. Otherwise our classmates might find out about our relationship!”

Mengyao was getting really irritated- ‘otherwise our classmates might find out about our relationship’? So what if they did? Why was he so concerned over that when she wasn’t! What was with that!!

Mengyao did understand that Lin Yi was saying that to make it easier for her, not for him, but still… It pissed her off! Any other guy would love to be associated with her like that, but it seemed like Lin Yi didn’t care at all! Was she that bad??

Mengyao’s silence turned the atmosphere in the car a little gloomy, but fortunately for them Yushu was here. “Shield Bro, do you think they sell sharks in Flower Bird and Fish Mall?”

“......” Mengyao wanted to slap Yushu to death. “Shu, do you think people would ever bring a shark home? Wouldn’t they be concerned that the shark would eat them??”

“There are people who want that!” Yushu nodded. “Suicidal people, for example.”

Lin Yi parked the car in front of the mall, and walked in with the girls. “Stay close- there’s pickpockets here; it’s too crowded.”

“Okay…” Yushu quickened her pace before slowing down again. “I didn’t bring any money.”

“Shu, are you serious? You’re not joking, right?” Mengyao’s face changed after hearing that.

“I’m not, Yao Yao. You know how I like to put my wallet in my bag…” Yushu said. “Look at my one piece shirt, there’s nowhere for my purse!”

“I didn’t bring any money either…” Mengyao frowned. “Lin Yi, did you?”

“Ah, I did.” Lin Yi felt that this was why Uncle Fu got him a bank card- these two girls must forget to bring their purses quite often.

“Then… I’ll borrow your money later…” Mengyao breathed out in relief- they’d have wasted the trip if Lin Yi didn’t bring his money too.

“Wa, Yao Yao, look! They really do sell saplings! There’s so many types…” Yushu felt a little overwhelmed. “Yao Yao, what sapling should we plant tomorrow?”

Mengyao shook her head- she wasn’t good with plants. She didn’t know what sapling they should be looking for.

“Look there, Yao Yao! That tree’s so special! How come they have injections?” Yushu pointed at some saplings some distance away.

“Don’t know. Maybe they’re sick.” Mengyao said.

“Ah, it’s protein liquid. Some imported saplings can’t adapt to the change in environment, so they need that liquid injected into them, or they’ll die.” Lin Yi explained with a smile. “Some high end gardens do the same to some of their trees too.”

“That’s pretty interesting. Yao Yao, maybe we should buy this one?” Yushu found the trees with liquid injected into them rather interesting.

“Shu, can you not say such stupid stuff? Would you be giving those saplings injections every day after graduating? Wouldn’t they die without the protein??” Mengyao glared.