Before My Withering

Xiao Yu had just eaten up all her ice cream when her parents found us. The young couple had been worried to tears that they couldn’t stop thanking me.   

Even as we were parting ways, she still didn’t change how she addressed usーー”Goodbye, gege! Goodbye, uncle!”      

Watching the family of three’s receding backs,  I felt an indescribable feeling in my heart and unconsciously caressed my lower abdomen.

If…    

Nevermind.      

“Do you like kids a lot?” asked Zhou Chen.

I let out a hum. “Like.”   

He no longer spoke another word.     

We both knew, that I would never have children of my own again.

Numerous “firsts” and “lasts” during my short life had all gone to Qi Shu. These past things couldn’t be uncovered with only a light-hearted “not gonna love anymore”.

Night fell. We watched the amusement park’s firework display on the rooftop of a revolving restaurant. 

Countless romantic hues graced this world. It could adorn the night sky into a gorgeous dream world of fairy tales. 

I used to be so stupid in the past that I covered my own eyes, then thought that the whole world was dark.

I had a fantastic early summer.

Zhou Chen had accompanied me to see art exhibitions. We also visited museums, listened to concerts, watched movies, sunbathed on the courtyard’s lawn in the afternoon, and strolled on the beach while holding hands in the evening. 

I asked him what exact hospital he worked as a doctor in and how he got such a long vacation. He pointed to the light on top of the distant hospital building and said, “See that letter Z? All the buildings with that logo are under my name.”

I should’ve thought of that. There weren’t a lot of old and influential families with the surname Zhou, and the only one that could completely ignore the Qi family.

Only that their family was too low-key and mysterious. In recent years, sharp edges had been hidden in order to withdraw from the political circle, and there had been no news at all. 

In my spare time, Xu Xingze and I held a video rehearsal of the graduation party program.

Technology had developed to the point where virtual imaging technology had fully matured, and I didn’t need to be present to project images and sounds onto the stage.

At the end of our rehearsal today, Zhou Chen knocked on my door and raised the envelope in his hand. “There’s a letter for you.” 

His profile had a trace of a shallow smile, as if he had already known the content of the letter.

——It never crossed my mind that the letter would be an invitation letter from the Misty Breeze Philharmonic Orchestra.

Herman Evans, the world-renowned principal cello, had personally wrote to me, inviting me to join the orchestra after graduation.     

I have strong suspicions that I’m dreaming. 

A thin piece of gilded stationery had been repeatedly tossed about by me more than ten times. I spotted Zhou Chen, who had a grin on his face. “Is it very unexpected?”

I gaped at him. “That’s… the Misty Philharmonic Orchestra.“

——The best symphony orchestra in the world, the ideal holy land of every musician. 

A question suddenly occurred to me. “How did Mr. Evans know I…”

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Then I saw Zhou Chen’s secretive expression, and I understood it all at once.

“Tbe…?”

Lf rqgjkifv tlr tjcv. “P pera rfca atfw sbeg gfrewf jcv qfgobgwjcmf nlvfb, atf gfra tjv cbatlcu ab vb klat wf.” 

P kjr rxfqalmji. “gfjiis?”

“P rkfjg.” Lf gfagjmafv tlr rwlif jcv rfglberis rjlv, “P tjv cfnfg atbeuta bo lcafgofglcu lc atlr wjaafg, yfmjerf P xcbk atja sbe mjc vb la.” 

He pulled me into his arms and hugged me with vigor. “You’re the best little rose in the world.”

I felt a lump in my throat, and tears almost fell down. For the very first time, I didn’t want to cry because I was sad. 

With Zhou Chen, I got the satisfaction of being needed, and a positive sense of accomplishment which I had never experienced before.

“Once your body is in a better condition, we’ll see Mr. Evans.” He pinched the tip of my nose. “Honestly, I want to be selfish and keep you, but I can’t.”

It seemed that Zhou Chen’s bearing towards my playing instruments had always been very complicated. He said that most spiritual musicians were short-lived because they burned their lives in music, and he wanted me to live until I was old. 

I wanted to tell him that I’d rather die for what I love, than live a long life. 

But I knew he would frown if I said that. He had such beautiful eyes that I didn’t want him to frown.

So I said, I will try my best to live healthily.

On the evening of the graduation party, I wore a tailcoat. I set up the three-dimensional imaging, installed the acoustics in the instrumental room, and waited for the host’s announcement of the program.

Zhou Chen leaned on the door frame with his arms folded as he examined me.

“Red really suits you.” He said with satisfaction.

He chose today’s brooch. It’s a rose made of red diamond, resembling the one from the story 《The Little Prince》. 

The TV on the wall was playing the live broadcast of the party. I waited a long time until Xu Xingze finally came on stage, and even my own virtual image also appeared on the stage.

This felt kinda strange. I took a deep breath and picked up the bow.

Xu Xingze chose the song A Thousand Years. He played and sang by himself, while I accompanied him with my cello.

Starting from the first note, my hand ceased to be my own, but a messenger Orpheus had left in this world. When the melody flowed, I looked up and saw Zhou Shen’s deep gaze. 

    ——How to be brave?

    How can I love when I’m afraid to fall? 

It was like something hit my heart all of a sudden. With a bang, war was plunged into chaos.

I hurriedly retrieved my gaze and immersed myself into the music. Nevertheless, I could still feel Zhou Chen’s scorching eyes.

At the end of the short yet long four minutes, Xu Xingze sang the last line—— 

    I’ve loved you for a thousand years.

    I’ll love you for a thousand more. 

He said, “May you wait for the right person and then be in love with each other forever. Happy graduation.”

I followed, got up and bowed. “Happy graduation.”

The camera slowly swept through the auditorium and stopped in the middle of the first row. All of a sudden, I saw Qi Shu sitting next to the principal. 

He went to the graduation party…?

No, the point is, the man on his right seemed to be… Wen Yan?!

Wen Yan’s back…

Seeing his appearance on the screen, he seemed to change a lot, and his original elegant and soft temperament had become more mature and gentle. 

So Qi Shu didn’t want to marry Wen Ziqing because of Wen Yan?

That isn’t right. If so, why did they separate in the first place? Is it true that Wen Yan really didn’t want to get married?

In a split second, countless thoughts had flashed through my mind, until Zhou Chen walked up to me and hauled me back to reality.

“Happy graduation.” He kissed me on the forehead. 

Warm lips descended my skin, resembling feathers and snow.

Such a touch had suddenly reminded me of the day he rescued me. He held me with great care as if he cherished me very much. On the way to the hospital, he fluttered his lips on my forehead and murmured in my ears:

“Don’t die…..” 

“Keep holding on……”

“We’re almost there..…”

All the memories poured back together, and the silhouette in the white light at the end of the darkness gradually turned clearer until Zhou Chen’s face appeared. 

I’d never seen him look so anguish and in pain. He accused himself with great remorse, “It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault.”

How could it be your fault….

I hugged Zhou Chen, buried my face in his chest and said in a muffled voice, “I remember now.”    

He didn’t ask me what I remembered, but whispered, “It’s all over.” 

Is it over?

Xu Xingze guessed that Qi Shu would monitor his whereabouts, but didn’t guess that Qi Shu could also investigate his call records. 

When I received the phone call, Zhou Chen had just left the house. He idled too much time with me and piled a heap of stuff to deal with at work. There was no way to continuously let it alone.

The voice on the phone was vaguely familiar that it took me a long time to respond.

“Xiao Yu,” he hesitated, then said, “It’s me, Dad.”

Dad…? 

Funny.

“Mr. Song.” I tried to express my attitude by responding in the coldest voice. “Is something the matter?”

Song Zhiqian was silent for a few seconds. He probably finally gave up his act of deep love between father and son and said, “It’s a little urgent. Is it convenient for you to come out and meet?”

I was about to reply “inconvenient” but he continued, “For your mother’s sake.” 

——Well, that’s blackmail.

Xiao Fei had long since turned into a jar of ash. I mentioned many times that I wanted to take him away, yet Song Zhiqian refused. And now it finally came in handy.

When I arrived at the agreed coffee shop, Song Zhiqian was already waiting there. I hadn’t seen him for many years; he was no different except for a few extra fine lines to the corners of his eyes, and he was still a successful figure in the upper society. 

There was no so-called familial affection between us, so there’d ben no need for the unecessary greetings. He opened straight away that he hoped I would go back to Qi Shu.

“I can’t fight the Qi family. I’m sorry.” He said, “The company had been suppressed this month one after another, and its capital chain has been broken. If it continues to lose money, it will go bankrupt sooner or later. This is a company I founded with your mother, do you have the heart to see it be destroyed?”    

“You founded it together, and so?” I held the coffee cup and tried to calm myself. “He worked his very hardest with you to start a business, but how did you repay him? You stole his shares, made him pregnant with your child, abandoned him, and exchanged wedding rings with another person in church on the day he was giving birth…. Why would you think I couldn’t bear it? I want you and everything you have to disappear in this world!”    

“Xiao Yu!” He got angry at me. “I’m still your father. How can you talk to me like that?” 

Father…. How ridiculous.

Before I was six, I lived with my nanny, and I didn’t even know what my parents were. I once thought all kids slept by themselves at night with the lights on like me.

After I turned six, he took me to the Song family. He couldn’t bear the sight of my illbred appearance, so he threw me to a private tutor and forced me to learn the piano. The teacher was very strict. He’d hit my palm when I played a wrong note, and he didn’t allow me to cry.     

As an illegitimate son with an ill-defined status,I was given the cold shoulder at the Song family. Song Zhiqian never showed me any care and love. He provided me with food and clothing, which had only been from a familial instinct.

At the age of twelve, Xiao Fei’s lawyer found me and handed over the suicide note and inheritance to me.

I left the Song family for a whole decade and never saw Song Zhiqian again, up until now.

Later then, I found a cello and a letter in Xiao Fei’s inheritance. He said it was his favorite thing, and he hoped I could earnestly take good care of it for him. 

He had written a lot of letters to me. There was a whole big box of it. I guess he had expected the end of his short life, so he wrote a lot, all the things he wanted to say.

He said he didn’t hate Song Zhiqian and asked me not to hate him either.

I listened to his words, and just regarded myself as an orphan without a father or mother.

But right now, I felt a touch of hatred. 

“I raised you for more than ten years and have never demanded anything from you. Just help me out this time, will you?” Song Zhiqian sighed wearily.

I ignored his carrot and stick tactics asked, “What did Qi Shu promise you?”

He hesitated for a moment, then said, “As long as you go back, he’ll let go of my company and won’t bother me again in the future, and… also give me compensation. “ 

——What had I done to deserve this? To even have Qi Shu lower his social status to negotiate terms with others. 

“So you….. just like that, sold me to him?” 

I felt like laughing, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t tug up the corners of my mouth. Instead, I was so unsteady that when I put down the cup, half of the piping hot Americano was spilled on the back of my hand.

“I didn’t sell you…..” Song Zhiqian’s face turned horrendous. “Give me some time. Once the company turns around, I’ll transfer all my property then take the family out of the country.”

“…….How long?” My heart ached dully once more, and I had to exert a great amount of strength to speak.     

“Half a year. Before I leave, I’ll give back Xiao Fei’s ashes to you. “