@@

Once I made it home, it was around 10 at night and I didn't care how much noise I made walking in, all I cared about was getting to my room and wishing I'd never wake up again. Halfway into the kitchen I see dad passed out on the living room floor with beer and vodka everywhere, I guess some things never change. ''Dad'' no response ''Dad wake up!'' he flinches but doesn't respond, i manage to get him up and to his bedroom, he had puke allover him and he smelled like dead fish had been all over him.


Why? Why? Why?





I let out a sigh once I made it into my room and along with that sigh came tears and with those tears came thoughts and not the good ones. Dad would be too drunk to care, mom…. She forgot about me, and Daisy…well she's gone and I'm irrelevant to her now. I have nothing and no one, so why not. Stop it scott stop it. Things will get better and you know that just don't give up scott just don't give up. I try to silence my own thoughts, I tell myself that I have nothing anymore and I can't just keep going on this way. Does Daisy feel this way? Is she regretting it? Is she crying inside with pain like I am? Or maybe she doesn't care, maybe it's been like that for her for a long time and I was just to in love with every little things about her so much to the point where I couldn't notice that she wasn't happy with us anymore. Is that what love is about? Is that incredible feeling of being loved and loving someone else more than life itself suppose to just instantly disappear like that, leaving someone as broken as I am. I don't get it, I don't get anything anymore and I don't wanna try to get it. Tomorrow. Tomorrows the day when I won't have to worry about anything anymore. I'll be free. Free from this pain. @@
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