Before You Leave Me

I reach for her soft hands as we walk, everything feels ok when we're together. But I feel that she's keeping something from me. Besides the cuts on her wrists, I mean something bigger something serious. I want her to tell me, i want her to be able to trust me but I don't know how to make that happen. In a way she reminds me of my mom, secretive, sad then the next minute happy. Dad never knew how to take care of her because he said that she was unstable, which is why mom probably left.

''Whatcha thinkin about?'' she says, realizing that I'm in my head.

''Memories'' i say, summarizing my thoughts. Expecting her to ask more about my 'memories' she pauses, likes she s hesitant to say something.

''Were you really going to jump?'' she asks. Not expecting that question at all, I don't say anything. Hoping she'll change the subject hoping I'll randomly get a phone call that I'd pretend was important. I can tell she's looking at me, waiting for a response.

''Yes.'' I finally decide to say, feeling ashamed by my answer. There's nothing but silence for the next few minutes as we contiune to walk to her house feeling like we're never going to get there. Out of nowhere she steps in front of me, putting her hand on my chest.

''Promise me.'' she says looking into my eyes with the most intense stare.

''What am I promising?'' I ask, half smiling.

''Promise me that you won't ever do anything like that again.'' she says inching closer to me. I drop my head. Not because I can't promise her that but because it's crazy that this girl cares about me the way she does.

''Scottie?'' she says, trying to get the response she wants.

''I promise you.'' I say, lifting my head, grabbing both of her hands. She kisses me, reachinng up on her tip toes for no apparent reason.

''There it is.'' She points to a light brown one story house with weeds and yellow grass in the front. She takes a deep breath before pulling her keys out of her back pocket , almost as if she's afraid to go in.