BOTB Chapter 21.5 (1) | The Older Brother, Eugene

Eugene’s POV

Suddenly, there was a time when he felt Hari was strange. It has been on and off since the day he stumbled upon her in the bouquet.

That feeling raised his head in an unexpected situation, embarrassing Eugene, but he thought it would get better.

It’s just that the time has been long away passed. Now, come and think about how he was once thought it’s an easy idea.

“All I have told you so far is everything I have to report.”

It wasn’t that there was a special opportunity to realize.

That day, Eugene was receiving reports from his office as usual. However, the time was a day and not a night as always.

It was still midday, but he was staying at Ernst’s mansion. At the end of the day,

“Okay. It’s enough.”

With Harry’s request, Ethan was going to take a break today. Eugene is also expected to be in the mansion today, and Hari also had no plans to go out.

It was also a work. Eugene woke up after Ethan left the room.

It was a day spent at home like that, but he was so tired that he couldn’t even rest properly.

Last night he couldn’t sleep, and he had been working all night. It seemed that he needed rest, too.

After seeing him coming out of his office for the first time since last evening, butler Hubert greeted him.

“Now you are coming out, Duke. Lady Hari

was worried.”

Eugene’s tongue was inclined.

He was the one who had been trying to make time together and aware of the fact that Hari hated eating alone.

But this morning he was insane and didn’t even know the time was going. Behind him, the sun was already hanging on top of the ridge.

“Shall we prepare meals first?”

“No. Where is Hari now?”

“She’s in the garden.”

She skipped breakfast he said, but not much.

He wasn’t deceived.

He turned to garden and think of going to see Hari first. As he stepped out of the building, intense sunlight fell over his head.

The season changed and changed, and now it was early summer.

As Eugene walked toward the garden, he recently recalled the words that poured heavily into his ears.

Eugene, who heard that the crown prince Dice was in charge of closing to Hari with his heart in mind, knew that it was a rumor, and she just laughed at him.

At least once, it seemed to be time for sanctions of Dice’s actions.

Ever since Hari, who had not been able to easily appear outside, started to engage in external activities, she quickly became in the middle of interest.

Even if it wasn’t because of Ernst’s name, people who were fascinated by Hari and wanted to build a friendship were in the stream.

Eugene knew it well.

Even in his view, Hari’s growth was remarkable.

She’s like a butterfly that had completely peeled off her shell that had wrapped herself tightly and completely spread her wings.

Occasionally, Eugene was sometimes puzzled by the distance he felt between Hari in his childhood and Hari in his memory, but he couldn’t find out where the complex subtle emotions originated.

Huft.

Eugene slowly closed his thick eyes.

His worries are so clear that he feels very trivial.

It was sunny weather. Suddenly, the leaves of the tree in dark green clothes made a thick shadow over his head.

Then, Hari asked him permission to make a bench in the flower garden.

Let’s leave Hubert to do it right today.

With such a leisurely thought, Eugene stepped into the garden. Red roses were in full bloom in the garden.

It was a flower that the gardener carefully cared for Hari. Hari is also very friendly to the servants, so everyone in Ernst like her.

Eugene didn’t like Hari getting close to the servants, but he wasn’t stupid enough to reveal that feeling in front of her.

How much longer did he should walk?

Finally, the person he was looking for appeared before Eugene’s eyes.

A white hem that shakes while leaving a pale after image among the rose bushes. Silver hair shining brightly in her waist line.

Even among the red rose flowers with purple eyes exposed under the sunlight, she was remarkably beautiful.

At that moment, he suddenly stopped walking.

He don’t know why, but it seemed that someone was choking his throat.

As he breathed in shallowly, the scent of rose infiltrated the tip of his nose.

Strangely. He was a little dizzy in front of her, it’s like he was drunk with the scent. He thought he would be blind.

Obviously, it was a person he had always seen, and it was a sight that he usually saw, but it was still dazzling.

The sharp rose thorns poked deep into his heart and deceived as if they had come to his field.

Eugene looked at the person in front of

his eyes with some sensation, for some reason without even breathing properly.

Perhaps, the next moment Hari would have stood there forever if he had not turned, but the situation ended when she found him.

“Brother Eugene.”

No, but a little more agitation was evoked than before.

She smiled brightly as she’s calling his name. It was that moment. There was a loud beeping sound in his head.

‘You shouldn’t go now.’

Eugene stepped back without even realizing himself.

“Brother?”

The young woman faced a question of his strange behavior, but he had neither the spirit to answer nor the room to excuse.

Another feeling came from hitting his throat with a different feeling than when he was watching her a while ago.

His heart was stinging because of the heat he pressed forcibly. He couldn’t stand in front of Hari anymore.

Eugene escaped from the spot almost like he fled. The reddish light of sight seemed to laugh and follow him.

It was the fear that sneaked into the box that should not be opened forever.

After that, Eugene acted casually as if nothing had happened.

Being conscious of that day’s work seemed to admit even the agitation he felt on the day, but his decision did not last long.

When he catched Hari, who almost fell in front of imperial palace, the moment when her warmth entered his arms, he felt the beeping beeping sound again and again.

At that moment, her touches like a fire, pushed him out.

“You should have been careful. You almost fell.”

He tried hard, but he couldn’t figure out why he’s like this. He didn’t want to let anyone know about his confusion.

He had to hide his face more than anyone else. Maybe it’s going to disappear soon if he don’t see her.

So Eugene started to distance himself from Hari.

“What did I do wrong to you, brother?”

But he didn’t know that it would make Hari uneasy. Eugene reprimanded as she looked at him under a crushed sunlight.

He was so stupid. Whatever the reason, he couldn’t hold the center and waved. It was his mistake that clearly showed him.

“Don’t worry. Nothing you should think about.”

Eugene wasn’t trying to make Hari look like this.

“I’m not avoiding you.”

So he could lie again and again. To reassure her. Also to make her laugh.

Then he need to start to breathing more properly.

Every time he met her eyes, and whenever he touch her fingertips, she can’t even notice his uncontrollably swaying heart as if it was a storm.

Don’t let Hari get caught even at close distances, even at close range. After that, Eugene returned to his office.

It wasn’t that difficult once she had his heart all over.

However, he suddenly felt like he was swallowing a piece of broken glass.

With the thirst that could not be resolved, he became increasingly nervous every day. Still, he suppressed all of that and stood in front of Hari.

He didn’t want to make her nervous again for another stupid reason…

****

“What did you say now?”

And one day, Eugene asked Dice with a stiff voice. His gaze slipping quietly seemed to be indifferent, but when he dug into the inside, he was cold and sharp.

Dice, who was talking about Eugene’s reaction as half a joke, was embarrassed.

He thought Eugene would just scream or ignore it, but this was a chill he never thought.

Dice excuses himself with a voice that reveals embarrassment.

In fact, like everyone else, he was a little scared in front of this iron-blooded duke.

“Oh, no, I didn’t formally tell the story…. Even if it was a marriage proposal, it was not really true, as I was half joking, and she already refused it….”

Dice spoke more since then, but his voice did not reach Eugene’s ears.

He proposed? To whom…

To Hari?

In fact, there was no problem with the fact itself.

As Eugene was engaged, his sisters will always able to find a good partner and mate.

It was okay if Dice’s proposal was not to force Hari’s choice because he is a prince, as he should respect her decision too.

Eugene also had Rosabella Velontia, who was engaged to him two years ago.

The two, however, were the perfect box of perfect marriage with no feelings for each other. It did not change over time.

In fact, Eugene know that Dice was in love with Rosabella.

He knew how keen the crab was, but it didn’t matter.

Only his family was important to him, and he even thought that he did not know the heart or happiness of others.

If he had to trample hundreds or even thousands of people here to make his family could lead a peaceful life, perhaps Eugene would do so without hesitation.

In some ways, he knew himself that it was an obsession even if it was abnormal.

Obviously, he wasn’t such a nasty and relentless man when he was young.

However, Eugene’s heart was closed long ago, freezing cold in the air.

A time when he was overwhelmed by humiliation and despair, reducing his helplessness.

Also, when he decided not to look back anymore with blood as the blood directly flows on his hands.

Since then, no one has come to his closed mind.

Even if a cold rushes into a frozen heart like an iceberg, he didn’t even know it was as deceiving as it was originally.

Originally, it’s not so hard, so every time his heart weakened, he bite it even harder.

Only the desire to go back to those happy days of no danger and unhappiness backed him up.

In a way, he didn’t even know that he was more dependent on his family. Eugene was able to do anything for his siblings, which is the reason he has lived so far.

Anyone who has nothing but a straw that was originally held at the end of a cliff can be as desperate as possible to defend that one.

So if they have someone they really want, Even if it was crappy, he was ready to accept it.

The mind still remains unchanged.

“Well, Duke. Are you listening to me? It’s already last summer, and it’s over between the lady and me, so don’t get me wrong.”

But why did Eugene feel like he swallowed thorns like this? Why, come now.

It was a contradiction that shouldn’t have been, but he shouldn’t be trying to figure out the cause of this mess anymore.

Eugene gave strength to his main mind that had been held for some time. And he tried to shake off his complicated mind.

No one notices his mind.

BOTB 21.5 (3)

Eugene stared across the hall at the gorgeous ballroom.

Although he was already had a fiancée, there were many young ladies who aimed at Duke Ernst.

He wasn’t married yet, and his relationship with his fiancée wasn’t even deep enough to be not political, so they thought there was a lot of opportunity if they only captured Eugene’s heart.

There was also young ladies, who poured out the munitions offensively to Eugene’s body like now.

When he was just out of the hall, a young girl dressed in a yellow dress fell down to the side of Eugene, and pretended to have an injured ankle.

“Ukh!”

It was an intention to sneak a peek at the mistake, but the action was not very natural, and the tea splash was not very good.

It would be normal for an ordinary gentleman to hold the lady’s arm at this time, but Eugene just once took a look.

He just passed by, and didn’t accept the woman who was throwing herself at him.

Parang!

Eventually, she was forced to fall to the floor without achieving her desired purpose.

He couldn’t help but not to hold it, even if he was able to hold it all, and it was a pot that relentlessly blew her.

The woman’s face fell wildly red. She never thought he would never touch her one finger even in this situation.

They were speechless.

It was because he is the Duke of Ernst, who was rumored to be cold, and she didn’t know that it would be so true.

“Are you okay, my lady?”

Rowengreen, standing behind Eugene, shook his tongue, as usual, and approached the woman who fell on the floor.

The lady, who was a little bit abusive, take a hand from Rowengreen and got up from her shameless position.

Rowengreen sent a glance on his side.

“From now on, please turn over to me. Unlike the duke, there is a compassionate affection, so I can’t just pass on a lady who is in trouble.”

“Well… are you sympathizing with me now?!”

Rowengreen followed Eugene, thinking he didn’t know why his kindness was causing women’s anger.

“Isn’t it too much? Rumor has it that you’re a cold-blooded duke. Why don’t you feel sorry for the little girls who aren’t flowered?”

“What does it matter to me?”

Rowengreen said with a bit of a grieving heart, but today Eugene just responded indifferently with a sloppy look.

Looking at him, Rowengreen kicked his tongue.

“Even if you were not as kind as you’re to Lady Hari, there would have been no problem to not avoiding the ladies because of the Duke.”

For Lady Hari, he was forced to eat the creepy strawberry cake. He knew that Eugene would lie like “I love that cake in the first place” as usual.

Of course it wasn’t a lie, but Rowengreen didn’t believe it.

Wouldn’t that be too impossible? Is this strawberry short cake that’s pretty for this cold-blooded man is pretty good or another?

Even if it didn’t go well, it didn’t make sense at all.

“Don’t be useless, go home.”

“Wait. Why don’t you give me a ride in wagon?”

“I’m going straight to the mansion, so you do it for yourself.”

Leaving Rowengreen with a betrayal look behind, Eugene climbed alone to the wagon and closed the door.

Rattling.

The black eyes staring out of the window lightly leaked from the outside. The carriage moved silently.

Ernst’s mansion, gradually getting closer, hesitated to his face. Eugene turns the wagon as it is and leaves the destination.

There was a conflict between the desire to move away, but it was only thought in his head.

Soon the carriage crossed Ernst’s front door and reached the mansion. After Eugene took a deep breath and exhaled, he come out.

The area was quiet because it was late at night.

As the autumn deepened, the night air that had become quite chilly touched his cheek.

He silently opened the door and entered the mansion, but before entering this, he had to hold his heart.

The thrown thing was colorless, and today there was no one who welcome him. Eugene’s lips exhaled a short breath.

It seems that she fell asleep early today.

It was Hari who went to bed only after confirming his return home, but inevitably, sometimes she could not overcome her drowsiness.

Then he could see her frowned at something the next morning.

His steps went to the stairs. He couldn’t figure out what to look at Hari’s face with this feeling.

Still, once, he thought he was glad he couldn’t face her now, on the other hand, he felt strangely sad.

However, Eugene’s footsteps on the stairs stopped at the next moment.

On the sofa in the seating area and hallway, silver hair was seen dizzyingly. It was a space just opposite the stairs.

Because of this, Eugene climbed upstairs to see at a glance. He stayed in place for a while and then slowly moved on.

Hari was lying on the couch uncomfortable, lying on her head. If so, it was evident that she probably fell asleep not a while ago.

It couldn’t have been that butler or other servants didn’t wake Hari up, since she’s sleeping in place like this.

Her face shine pale in the light. Long, rich lashes were casting shadows under them. Small breath and her lips were red.

For some reason, Eugene stood with a dismay, looking down at her sleeping face.

Then, ignoring his burning thirst, he raised his hand and rinsed it for a while.

When he lifted his hand again, Eugene, with his caring older brother’s face, stood there.

Soon a whisper came from his mouth.

“Hari.”

In the past, he would have hugged herself and carried her.

But now he couldn’t.

From one day, Eugene couldn’t easily reach out to someone in front of him anymore.

It was after the subtle emotions he felt little by little began to blow like a snowball, and finally a danger alarm began to sound in his head.

“Hari.”

But she seemed quite tired, and she never opened her eyes to his repeated calls. Eugene’s hand, hanging down, trembled once.

Several layers in him, whether hesitation and conflict are involved, perhaps no one in the world knows.

Eventually, Eugene lost to another self. His hand with a chill stretched forward very slowly.

He heard more intense beeps than ever in his head, but this time he ignored it as if he couldn’t hear it.

Finally, warmth reached his fingertips.

At that moment, he was so surprised that he stepped back for a while, and then approached again. Rigid fingertips moved smoothly over her cheeks.

And this time, Eugene realized. What awful feelings that have bothered him so far.

“Well.. brother…?”

It was as sharp and hard as enlightenment as if tearing and crooking his soul.

As soon as he approached for the first time, his slowly withdrawn hands soon fell down.

From the depths of his chest, the hot simmered like a lava, choked his throat, but at the same time it made his inside cool like a cold flame.

“When did you come?”

Hari reached for his hand a bit, still not fully awake, but Eugene couldn’t hold it.

It is clear that if he hold her hand now, he will go on a really irreversible path back then.

“… just now. What are you doing in here?”

His voice out of his mouth was more unfamiliar than ever. As a matter of fact, even if a typhoon met, he couldn’t control his heart and shook his back.

The dismay was hard, but at the moment, he had to hide his mind more than ever.

“The room was frustrating and I was out for a while, and I fell asleep not a while ago. If my brother didn’t wake up, I would have sleep all night here.”

“At night, it might be quite chilly and you can catch a cold. Come in, go into your room and rest.”

“My brother is tired too. Go up to your room quickly.”

He didn’t remember what kind of face he had as he turned around and climbed up to his room after.

He was just desperate, and he suffered because he had to put all his energy into force by just forcing what he was trying to push out of his throat without hesitation.

And finally, when he was completely alone, Eugene collapsed.

The voice that seemed to squeeze out of his distorted lips was breathtaking.

A long time ago, when he decided to accept Hari as his sister….

From then on, he firmly burdened himself. Let’s not let go of her hand again twice. The scar is already there.

He once left her on the street, and since then, he will never let go of her hand that he is holding now.

But now….

Now what is this. Eugene raised his hand and covered his right eye with a hot rub from his hand.

He had a heart on a person he should never have, and a person he could never have.

He was terribly sick because he couldn’t be fooled by the fact that it was clearly recognized for the first time.

He was so dumb and pathetic that a terrible sense of self-destruction came in.

When she just laughed, he was happy too, and just by staying by her side, the world seemed to shine.

But it wasn’t the feeling he felt for her as a younger sister. As if It had waited, his childhood memory has scratched him,

‘I am a family?’

‘Of course.’

And the answer he gave to Hari without hesitation.

‘You’re our sister.’

At that moment, Eugene’s lips shook and his voice like a sore throat leaked out. No….

So it didn’t work. He should have this kind of heart against anyone other than Hari.

Absolutely.

Now that he doesn’t think of her as his sister….

He couldn’t have done it in front of her. Knowing what Hari most cherished in her life, he couldn’t destroy her world with his own hands.

If he did that, if she was sad, perhaps he would not be able to forgive himself until death.

Eugene wanted to becomes the person who protects her, he didn’t want to be the one who hurt her.

It has never been his thought since his childhood, when she held his hand. So no. Poison or the like should never be caught by Hari.

Even if he has to put his heart inside until he die, so even if he’s dying himself in his damn heart, never will he tell her.

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Eugene decided to do so and bite it.

His nail dug in his clenched fists, but not as terribly painful as his hand-crushed chest.

Cold autumn night.

It was a day when a cold wind blew the cold through his heart.