This thing about me becoming a girl

Immediately, Sawamura Mari Aoi turned to look at Sawamura Homi.

Homi Sawamura just turned around, returned to the dojo and sat down on the futon, and when Mari Aoi Sawamura also knelt and sat on the futon opposite him, he said.

"I promised it, I promised it a month ago, and the disciples of Angui will challenge you at the Jade Dragon Banner in the near future. I promised it."

Hearing this, Sawamura Mari Aoi was puzzled and even a little angry. She didn't speak, but she asked clearly why.

But Sawamura Hoomi didn't answer, maybe she didn't bother to answer.

Seeing this, Sawamura Mari Aoi said.

"I won't... will go! I don't... need a sword anymore! I won't... hold a sword anymore!"

Although Sawamura Mari Aoi had no expression on her face, she seemed to be very excited as she said this.

After hearing the words, Sawamura Homi was still calm, he did not answer the question, and even asked back.

"why."

Sawamura Mari Aoi froze for a moment, then quickly shook her head, indicating that there was no reason, she just didn't need kendo.

But Sawamura Homi said.

"Why don't you need swordsmanship anymore? Is it because of your father's death? Or is it because of fear? Or is it because you can no longer make breakthroughs in swordsmanship, or because you, who know you have been deceived all this time, shrink back? Or... just because of that What happened to the mother and daughter?"

Mariko Sawamura clenched her fists when she heard the words, a little unable to bear her grandfather's understatement of just the mother and daughter.

This is the main reason why Sawamura Mariko doesn't want to see her grandfather and her heart is very complicated.

Because grandfather has always known these things, has always known these things, but he has done nothing, let nothing happen, has not stopped father, has not tempted father to do good, and has not helped anyone, just He obviously has the ability to change everything, but he stands by and does nothing.

Even concealing herself all the time, this is also the constant pain in Sawamura Mariko's heart.

This is also the reason why she has never wanted to see Homi Sawamura, until now, after a while, she dared to face it.

So she was also very angry.

She lowered her head, and some green veins floated on her tightly clenched fists.

"For..why."

325. Incompetent cowardice

"Why."

After hearing this, Homi Sawamura looked at Mari Aoi Sawamura who said so, and said slowly.

"Why? Are you saying, I know everything, but why didn't I stop your father?"

Sawamura Mari Aoi bowed her head and remained silent.

And Sawamura Homi looked at the green plants outside the dojo, and said ruthlessly and lightly.

"Are you curious about what the flies are doing in the grass on the side of the road, or are you going to stop it just because you saw one ant trampling off another ant's antennae?"

Sawamura Mari Aoi clenched her fists violently when she heard the words. She was angry at this description and also at Sawamura Homi's indifferent tone.

He didn't know why his grandfather said that today, obviously in the past, although he was serious, he was always very gentle and gentle, and he never said such ugly words, which also belittled people to the extreme.

Sawamura Mari Aoi didn't understand, but it didn't affect her anger.

It's raining.

The sound of drizzling was hitting the grass outside the dojo, the cold wind was blowing, the branches and leaves were rustling, the rainwater spread and accumulated on the roof, and then fell down along the eaves, tick-tock.

Homi Sawamura looked at the rain scene outside, and said slowly.

"There are tens of thousands of people. I can't interfere with everyone, and I don't want to interfere with everyone. He just needs to complete what I want him to do, and that's enough. I don't care about what he does. Don't care."

Sawamura Mari Aoi lowered her head, making it difficult to see her expression clearly.

"But, father is right in front of you. You can completely stop him!"

Hearing this, Homi Sawamura didn't reply immediately.

There was a dull gleam in his eyes, and his face, under the dark clouds in the sky, showed an indifference that had nothing to do with him.

"But this has nothing to do with me. He has his own life, and he chooses it. When I first found out about it, I just passed it by. What did he do wrong, what did he do right, and who did he hurt? , I don't even care.

In my eyes, your father is just a small fish trying to make waves, and the final result is to be swept into death by the torrent.

There are countless things that are darker than this. I shoulder the ups and downs of an entire ethnic group. Why do you think that I will deliberately care about the life and death of a mother and daughter for such a trivial matter. "

Hearing this, Sawamura Mari Aoi still lowered her head, her fists clenched even tighter.

Seeing this, Sawamura Homi seemed to be interested.

"You seem very angry? Is it because you have been kept in the dark and deceived, or because of the encounters between the mother and daughter, there are countless in any place in this world, and it is even more unfair to them?"

On his old face, there was a meaningful ironic smile.

"Is it because of a sense of justice, or because that girl is your sister by blood, but what did you, the righteous, do to your sister who is fighting for injustice at this time?"

Sawamura Mari Aoi didn't quite understand.

And Sawamura Homi continued.

"You should know that Bei Dao Ya, that is, your younger sister, once committed suicide, and it was because of this behavior that she almost brought her mother into the abyss.

"But do you know why she committed suicide? What was the reason? After so many years of suffering, what kind of reason was it that completely destroyed her at that time?"

Hearing this, Mari Aoi Sawamura was stunned for a moment, but then realized that it was behind the scenes, her face immediately turned pale, and her lips trembled.

She seemed to guess what Sawamura Homi would say, her hands trembling slightly.

Sawamura Homi didn't care about her strange behavior, and she didn't stop speaking because of it.

"Remember, you and your father attended the symposium on January 1th, so it's not hard to guess why."

Homi Sawamura said so, looking at Mari Aoi Sawamura who couldn't stop trembling all over her body with thin eyes.

"It's because of you, because I have witnessed your overly happy life. You have the same roots, but you have a world of difference. When she was dying, you, as a sister, lived in the daytime, her shadow Under the love of his father, he lived without any pressure.

The contrast caused by this completely destroyed her. "

Sawamura Homi continued to speak.

"Do you still remember that you went to a hospital to donate blood that day, and the North Island crow was being rescued in that hospital at that time, and was on the verge of death several times."

Sawamura Mari Aoi lost her voice when she heard this, leaving only her body trembling slightly.

Outside the dojo, the rain was getting heavier and heavier, and it also drenched someone's heart thoroughly.

Sawamura Homi looked at Sawamura Mari Aoi.

"Got it, what you think of as a painful life is the happiness that countless people want to have but can't get.

Also, including the previous phone call, I always knew what Shangshan was doing at that time, but as I said before, I didn't care, and I didn't want to bother.

Even though it was during the negotiation between the three families, the Beidao Ya was also very likely to be related to the former prince of Baihechuan, although it turned out afterwards that this was indeed an excellent move.

But at that time, it was dispensable to me whether or not Li used the North Island Crow to influence Baihechuan, because I was fully prepared.

So it was because of you that I agreed to Shang Shanmu, and it was because you handed over the phone to me that I agreed to the naive thing that Shang Shanmu said about disturbing Huang Baihechuan's plan, and then kidnapped the girl's mother. "

Sawamura Homi squinted her eyes, looking at Sawamura Mari Aoi's eyes like looking at a tool.

"Shangshan has no value, but you have, so I agreed to this dispensable thing for me because you gave me the phone.

I thought you would thank me for this, but now it seems that you don't. "

Sawamura Mari Aoi's tightly clenched fists loosened for some reason at this moment, but her shoulders slowly collapsed, as if something was disappearing.

"You feel unfair for them now, and fight for them, just because I stand by and watch.

But you, my inaction may be regarded as helping the evil, and you have been playing the role of ignorance, so you don’t need to feel remorse, you don’t need to feel remorse, and then you can instead blame others for not stopping it. One, isn't this even more deformed?

So, why are you blaming me for not doing anything. "

He said without haste.

"Everyone in Sawamura has his own value, and your value is kendo, but now you say, you have to give up.

But have you ever thought about what else you have besides kendo. "

Sawamura Homi's voice seemed to be stating a fact very simply.

"Think about it carefully, what else do you have besides kendo, family affection? Love? Friendship? Or what can be linked to your bond?

No, you have nothing, you have nothing left, and in the end the only thing you have, you say you don't need it anymore.

So it's not so much that you gave up the way of the sword, it's better to say that the way of the sword gave up on you. "

The rain is getting heavier and heavier, the branches and leaves are shaking, and the body is bent by the wind and rain, as if it can't escape the fate of being broken.

Sawamura Hoomi's voice was mixed with the sound of rain, but it was far colder and more ruthless than the rain.

"Truth Aoi, all your pain and anger right now are, in essence, your own cowardice and incompetence.

You sympathize with the pair of mothers and feel that it is unfair for them to suffer, but have you ever really helped them?

No, after that incident, for more than two months, you just hid at home, didn't see anyone, tortured yourself, and expressed your sadness for what happened to the mother and daughter, but you were trying to win Whose sympathy?It is trying to win you, and you are trying to win your own sympathy.

You are constantly telling yourself that you really know that you are wrong, you are really in pain because of this incident, and you are confessing, this will make you feel better, but it is nothing more than your own drama to impress yourself That's all.

Because of you, you didn't do anything substantive, and you didn't even dare to see the face of the mother and daughter. You only dared to hide at home, immersed in the pain, immersed in the pain that touched you.

Obviously there is a better solution, and obviously you can directly step forward to protect the mother and daughter from being hurt by anyone, to make up for it, to repay it.

But you didn't, maybe not even a real apology.

You didn't do anything except escape, you just came to accuse me of standing by, and continued to escape, that's all. "

Sawamura Hoomi's words were very slow, very detailed, and articulate, one after another, one after another, tearing open the scar hidden in Sawamura Mari Aoi's heart, causing blood to spread from her wound, her body was bruised, as if she was drowning, even Breathing is a luxury.

Sawamura Homi continued.

"This is why I said that your chivalry is a flimsy, too false plaything, and you want to help the weak honor, I have denied it from the beginning.

Because you will always only see those people with mud on their feet, but you will never see those people whose bodies are half buried in the soil.

Because you can only look at the surface, people with mud on their feet can walk and come to you for help, and you will always only see the side that is shown, but you can't see those who are buried in the soil and cannot walk People, this hidden side is subconsciously ignored by you.

From the very beginning, your honor was just to impress yourself, to please your father.

You just keep wallowing in beautiful fantasies, denying anything in reality that wakes you up, because even those fantasies make you forget about reality.