This thing about me becoming a girl

Then, Sawamura Homi put his hands behind his back and strode into the room.

And Sawamura Isuzu hesitated seeing the appearance of Sawamura Mari Aoi, but finally said nothing, slowly closed the door, and waited at the door.

After entering the room, Sawamura Homi walked straight to the hospital bed and sat down. Although his face was old, his expression did not have any trace of old age, full of natural majesty.

And Mari Aoi Sawamura, as if not aware of his arrival, still turned her head and looked out the window.

She didn't know what the hazy sky reminded her of.

Sawamura Homi looked at him, but also didn't make a sound.

He looked at this face, this face that he had disliked, joyed, angry, and complicated in his heart, but he was speechless.

From the beginning to the end, when he looked at this face, he might have been looking at another person.

Similar is also similar, and different is also different.

It's just that every time he sees Sawamura Mariko holding a sword, he can't help feeling complicated in his heart.

At his age, the wisdom he now possesses also makes him understand that he is actually trapped by obsession, but he still can't help it and will continue to walk down.

And now, it's all over.

He already got the answer he wanted.

It wasn't because of the battle between Sawamura Mari Aoi and Okuro Seshoishi, nor because of Sawamura Mari Aoi's defeat, but because he understood that they were not the same person after all.

The same talent, very similar personality, but not the same person.

When I first met Sawamura Mari Aoi, he was complicated, and he used disgust to cover up the complexity in his heart.

So he chose not to meet again, to forget.

But when he met for the second time, he discovered that Mari Aoi Sawamura's talent that made him complicated, "heart clarity", had disappeared.

This also made him want to figure out what exactly is Xintongming, what is this thing that has oppressed him for half his life.

So he began to teach Sawamura Mari Aoi Kendo, observe her, and understand her.

Sawamura Homi naturally knew everything about Kamisugi, but he didn't bother to pay attention to it, and just taught Sawamura Mari Aoi Kendo.

In fact, he doesn't fully understand what he wants, maybe Mari Aoi Sawamura will be able to tell her one day.

As the contact time increased, he also discovered that the personalities of Aoi and Mao Xue were not alike.

Mao Xue is bright and bright, but Zhen Aoi is dull and dull. Mao Xue likes to make friends, while Zhen Aoi prefers to be alone and not socialize with others. Mao Xue likes to laugh, but Zhen Aoi can't make any expressions.

They are two completely opposite people.

But from another aspect, they are very similar. They also don't like kendo, but because of something, they go to practice kendo.

As Sawamura Homi knows, Mari Aoi doesn't really like kendo, but just wants to respond to Uesugi's expectations, so she works so hard.

Sawamura Homi observed her like this, and soon discovered an abnormality.

Sawamura Mari Aoi has not changed in any way, whether it is with age or a certain period of time, she has not changed in any way.

Regardless of thoughts, behaviors, or hobbies, it seems to be fixed, and there has been no change from the beginning to the end.

This is unrealistic, however, change is something that everyone goes through.

Unless she never showed it, or buried it in her heart, asking herself to behave in a fixed way.

It's weird and twisted.

So at that time, Sawamura Homi once again asked Sawamura Mari Aoi about his open mind.

And Mari Aoi Sawamura still shook her head blankly, expressing that she didn't know what it was.

Immediately, Sawamura Homi explained to her in detail what Xintongming is.

And maybe Sawamura Mari Aoi didn't know it herself, she had slowly clenched her fists at that time, and said subconsciously.

"That kind of thing, why... does it exist?"

Seeing this, Sawamura Homi listened to the words of Mari Aoi, combined with all the abnormalities of Mari Aoi, and finally understood.

He understands the reason for the emptiness in Truth Aoi's body that seems to be nothing.

Truth Aoi's heart is bright, and it doesn't disappear suddenly.

Instead, she was voluntarily forgotten.

Maybe it's because she couldn't bear the price of being enlightened.

Because the clarity of the heart not only represents unparalleled fighting qualities, but also can see whether a person is kind or malicious towards himself.

Xintongming is originally a supreme state of kendo, and it has to go through countless fights and fights. In this way, after years of experience, and swordsmanship has reached the highest level, it is naturally easy to see the opponent's movements and intentions at that time , in essence, this is a kind of experience, that is, prediction.

And the countless walks between life and death will naturally make the senses extremely sharp, so you can subconsciously feel whether others have malice or goodwill towards you.

And those famous great swordsmen in history basically have a clear mind, and all of them have become famous after they have spent their youth. At that time, it was the second spring when their strength skyrocketed.

That is to say, the essence of psychic clarity is not a gift, but one must first meet the corresponding conditions and reach a certain level before comprehending it.

So "heart clear" can actually be explained.

But this kind of thing appears in a child, it is simply impossible to explain.

It is completely unexplainable, and cannot even be measured by common sense. The only reason that can be barely explained is talent, an innate talent.

And to be honest, these are definitely unacceptable for a child.

Or because of this innateness, she had a high tolerance for this talent at the beginning, or she didn't find it strange.

But when she realized that she was different from others in a real sense, she, who was equally young in age and spirit, would not be able to accept it without timely counseling.

Because when she asked Sawamura Mari Aoi's psychic clarity before, she was very dazed, so Sawamura Homi couldn't know the beginning of her having a psychic clarity.

All she knew was that Maoxue's clear heart could actually be explained by talent.

Because Maoxue has been exceptionally sharp in his reaction speed since he was a child, and can predict the opponent's attack, but other than that, there is no other difference.

And it was from the moment she held the sword that her talent was truly revealed.

In other words, before she actually held the sword, she had already stepped into the threshold of enlightenment.

Then at the age of 14, he had Xintongming.

As for Aoi Sawamura, Homi Sawamura always believed that she, like Uyuki, was limited to stepping on the threshold of enlightenment.

But look at her disgusted tone and voluntary abandonment attitude that she can't help showing towards Xintongming.

That's very likely, she was born with it in the true sense.

Not as gifted and talented as Mao Xue.

Since she was born, she has a complete heart and can see through people's hearts.

This cannot be explained.

When Sawamura Homi made this guess, he didn't even know how to describe his heart at that time.

After all, he is very clear about the heart, so he also understands what it means, and he is now in his old age, and he barely stepped into the half-step threshold.

This cannot be explained by science, or talent, or genetics.

Even Homi Sawamura at that time felt absurdly like the chosen one.

And this may be what Truth Aoi cannot bear.

So, she chose to forget.

After she realizes the difference between herself and others, she is very likely to blame her childhood situation on Xin Tongming.

So it is very likely that she is unwilling to accept this kind of thing, and she probably doesn't know what it means.

She forgot and abandoned her mind, not because of Shangshan, nor because of anyone, but herself, who couldn't accept herself.

Then, she began to shape herself, and Shang Shanmu was such a wedge.

She absorbed all what Shang Shanmu said, and then created an appearance that was accepted by her and accepted by outsiders.

It can also be said to be a self-protection mechanism.

Because she doesn't want to go back to the life she once had.

And those painful memories were voluntarily chosen by her to bury them deep in her heart and lock them up, or even forget them.

The current Aoi is just what she wants to be, what she thinks is correct.

She is deliberately shaping herself, shaping herself like this, so there is no change.

But this does not mean that the current truth Aoi is false, after all, since she has become like this, there must be a part of her inner realization.

It's just that she doesn't want to think, remember, or change, blindly thinking that this is right now, and doesn't want to change.

So Xintongming did not disappear from her body, but existed all the time, but was forgotten by her.

As for the truth Aoi that she didn't want to think of at the beginning, she has always lived in the locked box in the deepest part of her memory.

in deep sleep.

384. Freedom

But after learning that Sawamura Mari Aoi may have voluntarily abandoned Xin Tongming, Sawamura Homi seems to have the same complexity as when facing Uyuki back then.

Why, why do people like you always throw away things that others dream of but can't get anyway?

He looked at the young Sawamura Mari Aoi as if he was looking at another person.

Sawamura Homi was also angry in his heart, but for some reason, he continued to teach Sawamura Mari Aoi Kendo. In fact, he didn't know what his intention was.

Is it to prove that talent is important?Is it still important to work hard?Is it to know whether the achievements that a person will have in his life have been determined since he was born?

He doesn't know, but in short, maybe he can get the answer from Sawamura Mari Aoi.

Then the time passed like this until now.

Homi Sawamura looked at Mari Aoi Sawamura in front of him. This was the first time in many years that he felt so peaceful when he saw this face.

He didn't make a sound, but slowly stood up the table on the hospital bed for eating or putting things on, and placed it in front of her.

At least at this moment, these actions seemed to make him really look like a grandfather who was taking care of his granddaughter.

This was the first time the two met since Homi Sawamura spoke clearly last time, but Mari Aoi Sawamura still didn't show any excitement, or anger, or drive away, there was nothing but calm.