This thing about me becoming a girl

After the security guard was stunned for a moment, he immediately reacted and was ready to stop him. After all, no matter what he said, he couldn't let a person with unknown identity and intentions just leave with the patients in his hospital in a grandiose way.

So the security guard immediately yelled on the pager, and the person at the door stopped the girl.

But at this time, Sawamura Mari Aoi had already rushed out of the hospital.

Ignoring the strange gazes of pedestrians, she ran to the side of the road and watched the passing vehicles hastily and anxiously.

Taxi, taxi.

But it is a pity that taxis that should be everywhere in a big city like Tokyo have disappeared at this moment.

At this time, the security guards also rushed out of the hospital entrance, looked around, and ran over quickly after seeing the figure of Mari Aoi Sawamura by the side of the road.

Sawamura Mari Aoi was very anxious when she saw this.

She didn't have time to explain, and she couldn't explain at all, and the ramen shop owner was away, and she didn't have anyone to talk to.

The doctor's words that the homeless old man would not be able to survive the afternoon still echoed clearly in her ears, so since she made this decision, she couldn't delay for a moment.

She didn't know where she had the courage to make such a decision.

But she was extremely scared in her heart, and at the same time she couldn't breathe, she was also extremely anxious.

Looking at the street where there were still no taxis, and at the security guards coming from behind.

Otherwise, go back, anyway, I have already worked hard, and going back is also saving Mr. Homeless's life, in case the operation is successful.

Mariko Sawamura's mouth was trembling, and her blue eyes were shaking extremely shaky.

And at this moment, she thought of the frail and regretful words of the homeless old man.

"At least let me meet them at the last time, and don't let me die with such regrets. The only thing I can rely on and please is you, miss."

Sawamura Mari Aoi suddenly squeezed the hand that was holding the homeless old man's thigh.

Immediately, she ran towards a young woman who was about to leave on an electric bike.

Because of her stuttering, she didn't have much time to explain, she just said in a hurry.

"Bye please please."

Immediately, she pushed the young woman out of the car, and in front of her, completed a series of actions of putting the homeless old man on the car and tying it up with a fixing belt.

In the end, she left on an electric scooter in sight of the young woman.

And the young woman was still a little dazed and didn't react, she just looked at the helmet in her hand.

Should I give this to her?

At this time, the security guards from the hospital rushed over.

--

On the road, Sawamura Mari Aoi had squeezed the handle of the electric scooter to the extreme, feeling the weak breathing of the homeless old man leaning on her shoulder, her breathing was trembling.

It takes one hour, four and 10 minutes from Tokyo Station to Ibaraki, and then 35 minutes to Shigang JR.

Just over two hours, very fast, very fast.

Sawamura Mari Aoi persuaded herself like this, but feeling the weakening state of the homeless old man behind her, she still couldn't help pursing her lips.

She thought of what the old homeless man said, the stories he told, and the extremely sad emotions.

Thinking of this, Sawamura Mariko felt regret, self-blame, and sadness in her heart.

I am capable!Obviously capable!

Mari Aoi Sawamura knows that she is capable of helping Mr. Homeless!

That night at the Xinzhen Ramen Pavilion, when the homeless old man said that he had been looking for the child for 50 years, and now he found it, and the child was in Ishioka, the idea of ​​helping the homeless old man to go home came to the mind of Sawamura Mariko .

But she gave up.

It was just because I suspected that the original intention of having this idea was a hypocritical excuse, so I gave up!

Even a bowl of noodles must be invited by students from Bei Dao!

She gave up at the time.

Obviously it doesn't need to be like this, obviously before that, I have the ability to help the homeless old man go home!

Obviously, Mr. Wanderer doesn't have to worry about dying with such regrets, and can receive treatment with peace of mind!

Obviously, things will not be like this.

However, I did not choose to help Mr. Homeless.

but escaped.

Obviously just helping Mr. Homeless go home, this kind of thing is not difficult at all, even extremely simple, but I still avoided it.

And it is because of this evasion that led to the current result.

Obviously, I can change all this! ! ! !

Mariko Sawamura bit her lip, looked at the road ahead, and shouted in her heart.

It is because of myself that I became what I am now.

And it is because of this that Sawamura Mari Aoi agreed to the request of the homeless old man.

She didn't help in the past, if it's still the same now, then she can no longer accept herself.

She squeezed the handle and looked at the road.

Hurry up, hurry up.

Definitely, definitely will bring Mr. Homeless back to Shigang.

Her hand, which was holding the handle, was showing blue veins, and even trembled so hard, maybe only she knew what kind of emotion she was feeling in her heart at this moment.

The homeless old man in the back seat squinted his eyes very hard, resting his head on the shoulder of Mari Aoi Sawamura, feeling the feeling of the cold wind blowing on his old face covered with old wrinkles.

He is more sober, at least more sober than in the hospital, and he is also much happier, at least compared to the despair in the hospital, he is happy at the moment.

Even the torment of illness seemed insignificant.

Because at least, he's on his way home now.

ps: There is still a chapter, which is still code words, that is, the last chapter of the prelude, and there is still a trough, fortunately, I learned that ctrl+z on the notebook is to withdraw the previous step command, otherwise I will split, just coded After finishing the word, when copying and preparing to send, I accidentally clicked to delete. At that time, my hands were shaking, and ctrl+z came back again, otherwise it would explode.

394. Ugly

Sitting in the back seat, the homeless old man leaned on the shoulder of Sawamura Mari Aoi, feeling the slight sobriety brought by the cold wind.

Seeing the road going backwards ahead, which is also the way home, he smiled slightly.

But...his sobriety is just an illusion, he can already clearly feel the feeling of life passing by and then drifting away into the distance.

He knew he was dying.

Really, really, there are so many regrets.

He opened his mouth slowly and said very tiredly.

"Miss... No matter what, don't blame yourself... This is a decision made by me, a decision made by a conscious old man, and it should not be borne by anyone..."

Although the homeless old man's voice was weak and tired, and the howling wind caused by the electric car moving at full speed was loud, Mari Aoi Sawamura, who had already keen hearing, could still hear it clearly.

She didn't answer, but bit her lower lip tightly, and squeezed the handle even more, even if the handle couldn't be squeezed down, it was almost unbearable, but Sawamura Mari Aoi was still exerting strength.

Because she could only tell herself, hurry up, hurry up, and dare not think about anything else.

The homeless old man leaned on her shoulder, closed his eyes tiredly, and said again.

"I'm really sorry. In the end, I caused you such trouble and forced you to make such a decision. I was...too persistent."

He felt the cold wind on his face, whether this wind had ever blown to his hometown before coming to Tokyo.

Is this wind the same as the wind in my hometown at this moment?

With a slight smile on his face, he said.

"Miss, I've already thought it through. Turn around and take me back to the hospital. Such a result should not be burdened by a young child like you.

I am sober and rational. Send me back to the hospital. As long as my ashes can be brought back to my hometown in the end, that is enough. If possible, it is best to bury me and my family together. "

Sawamura Mari Aoi said nothing, just pinched the handle of the electric car to death.

And the old homeless man said again.

"In my whole life, I have been avoiding and never wanting to turn back. I feel that as long as I keep my head down, keep my head down, everything will be better, and I have never stopped for even a moment to really face the problem and try to solve it. just forward.

But...Actually...I never walked forward for a moment, and I didn't look back for a moment. I just kept walking in the same place, trapped myself in the box, in my own world, and didn't want to face it. right. "

He smiled with difficulty, as if relieved, but also as if he recognized himself.

"People, sometimes you can't keep your head down and move forward, you have to try to look back, you have to learn to stay, and you have to learn to face it.

Because even if you move forward, you can't change the damage caused by the pain, because it is too deep, buried in the depths of memory, no matter how far you go, but when you think of it, there will be no empty heart. Any improvement, after all, the pain is unforgettable, and the pain will never be forgotten. "

It seemed that he thought of what he had suffered in his life because of escaping. At the last moment, the old homeless man also persuaded him, this kind and kind child.

"Miss, don't be like me and spend your whole life avoiding. No matter what it is, even if it is painful or desperate, you have to face it. Don't use the excuse of moving forward or pretend to ignore it to escape. .

Because this cannot be forgotten, it will eventually exist in the depths of your memory, always waiting to jump out and bite you, to slow down your pace, numb your spirit, so that even if you receive a little happiness, you will not be able to control it I realized how deep the hole in my heart was.

Don't be like me...until dying...to realize this, but it's too late, there's no chance to make amends and change.

As long as you are still alive, that's great, because being alive means that it will never be too late to make up for any regrets. As long as you are still alive, no matter how painful it is to face the scars, no matter how much you lose because of it. ..but you will always gain new possessions during this time, and your empty heart will also be filled.

Otherwise, when you really face death, when nothing can be changed, and when it is too late, what you think in your heart will definitely not be relief, but pain and unsettling regret.

Miss, you are still young, it is never too late, don't run away from anything, don't think that if you keep your head down and move forward, you can let time smooth everything out. "

The voice of the homeless old man has become weaker and weaker, almost muttering to himself.

"Miss..you are still young..too young..it is never too late to do anything..have any regrets and mistakes..just make up for and bear..don't escape..don't escape like me..until dying It was time...to understand this, but it was too late."

"Don't care about other people's eyes... because only those who don't understand anything will treat those who turn their heads as cowards."

The voice of the homeless old man...was so weak that Sawamura Mari Aoi couldn't hear it clearly, and his head resting on his shoulders became softer.

He's... dying.

Sawamura Mari Aoi had blue veins on her arms, and her teeth were chattering.