[BL] NEET life in the Apocalypse

Chapter 59—Trauma

by Bocchan13

Song Yu was hyperventilating. Each breath grew more and more laborious, his mind buzzing and reeling. He couldn’t hear Lan Zhou’s voice nor see his face. He felt his body being picked up. The wind blew on his head, the hot summery breeze calming him a bit.

He was always in the dark in the bunker recuperating, scared that when he was asleep, zombies would attack.

He learned to breathe slowly and deeply, so that his heart slowed down to a thud. It was in this darkness, that he craved light.

His ears were still ringing as Yu Hong’s face overlapped with the one from the past. He had met Yu Hong in the B Base’s lab. He was a skinny thing, only a year younger than Song Yu. His wind ability was a hassle to control for the doctors, so he spent a lot of time tied to a bed. Whenever Song Yu met him, he was always crying.

After their escape, Yu Hong blossomed into a very powerful wind ability user. Although he was happy, there existed darkness inside of him. He was in charge of outside raids. Any team he went on, almost 90% would come back.

But there were rumors that the 10% that didn’t come back, were because Yu Hong had killed them. Song Yu didn’t believe in this in the slightest, blindly believing Yu Hong to be a just and fair leader. Until his death, Song Yu never got to find out Yu Hong’s true colors.

Yu Hong at the age of 44 was a cutthroat and seasoned apocalyptic veteran. The Yu Hong he met now, was now the leader of his own small base. Song Yu had heard from that night in the cave that Lan Zhou and everyone else had stopped the B Base ability testing in its infancy.

So Yu Hong never got to experience the cruel torture from him previous life. That didn’t negate the fact that Yu Hong was responsible in some part for his murder.

Song Yu compartmentalized everything in his brain, his breathing getting shallower until stopping completely.

“Song Yu! Song Yu! Look at me!”

Song Yu stared blankly at Lan Zhou’s worried eyes.

Am I dreaming now?

Is this an illusion that I was reborn?

Silent tears escaped Song Yu’s eyes, as panic overset his frazzled mind.

I’m still in that place. Every day exhausted. I just want to sleep. I want to sleep.

An image surfaced in his mind. Song Yu sitting on the small bed in his bunker, a small smile on his face. A callused hand reached out and touched his cheek preciously, massaging those deep sunken blue from under his eyes. Song Yu sighed and snuggled his cheek on that weathered hand, as if it was his lifeline.

“Breathe deeply. You’re okay …”

.

.

.

“Song Yu! Breathe deeply. You’re okay.”

Song Yu felt a hand caress his cheek like in his vision. He snuggled his hand on that precious warmth. Opening his eyes, he stared at Lan Zhou.

They were somehow outside.

Song Yu was nestled in Lan Zhou’s arms, hands clutching tight to his neck. Tear stains on Lan Zhou’s shirt, with the hot breeze blowing their hair.

Song Yu blinked in confusion.

“Lan Zhou? Where are we?”

Lan Zhou breathed a sigh of relief, and hugged him. Song Yu felt the comfortable embrace and returned the pressure. Song Yu could still feel that isolated darkness, but the overwhelming love of Lan Zhou’s embrace settled his buzzing mind.

“After seeing the base leader you went into a trance-like state…Song Yu, its okay. Breathe in and out.”

Song Yu followed Lan Zhou’s voice, breathing deeply in and out. Lan Zhou subconsciously rubbed his back, trying to calm him down.

They weren’t necessarily hidden, so when Song Yu finally calmed, he was faced with 10+ people trying to look away from the scene. Blushing deeply, he averted his gaze and muffled his embarrassed groan.

“Are you okay now?” Lan Zhou kissed his forehead, his concern deep. Song Yu nodded his head.

“I’m fine…I get like this sometimes…”

“Is it because of the base leader? Did you meet him before?”

Song Yu slowly shook his head. In this life they were strangers.

“He…looks a lot like someone I knew.”

“From before?”

Song Yu nodded. “That person…hurt me badly. I didn’t know that he hated me so much.” His voice trailed off until it was no more than a whisper. The pain in his voice was deeply apparent.

Lan Zhou tightened his grip on Song Yu.

“How badly did this person hurt you?” There was an edge of iciness in his voice. Lan Zhou could pretty much guess who Yu Hong was. Although Song Yu hadn’t told him about his past, he had heard enough from the Paradise Base lowlifes how they treated their ‘leader’.

Song Yu didn’t want to tell Lan Zhou, but felt that hiding it would cause even more trouble.

“He wanted to kill m—,”

Lan Zhou kissed him before he could finish the sentence. Even just thinking about it got him angry. Song Yu could feel Lan Zhou’s anger. Not at him, but at the situation.

Song Yu closed his eyes and felt all of the love in the world. Slowly comforting each other, their hearts in tune, it was as if the center of his universe was right next to him now.

“If I meet that person, I’ll kill him for you.”

Song Yu smiled.

“It was a long long time ago. I don’t seek revenge nor answers. But I’m still a little bit scared. If he finds me again, what would he say? What hurtful things is he capable of?”

Song Yu whispered,

“He used to be a friend. If a friend can do this, a mother can do this, then a lover can do this…what’s the point of anything anymore?”

Lan Zhou could grasp Song Yu’s deeply rooted cynicism. All of the people he loved abandoned him. Seeing them again, reborn with the knowledge while they walk away with a free mind. It was enough to make someone mad.

“If they ever hurt you again, rather it be in the past or in the future…I will always be here to help you.” Lan Zhou kissed Song Yu’s eyelids, the eyelashes lightly brushing his lips.

“I swear to you.”

Song Yu kissed Lan Zhou’s lips. A small kiss that rendered both of them breathless. They heard a whistle from the crowd, causing their little intimate moment to break.

Lan Zhou chuckled as Song Yu got red and hauled him up to his feet. Song Yu’s legs were no longer jelly, but strong and firm. Taking his hand, they slowly walked back to the gas station. Entering the door, they saw the last of the negotiations; Lu Jingxiu’s face all smiles.

“Sorry for that. Did you finish everything?”

“Yep, all good. Got free fuel for 5 years.”

“Not bad.”

Yu Hong had just finished the trade-off when Song Yu and Lan Zhou came in. He stared at Song Yu a bit, his eyes trailing over Song Yu’s no longer pale face. Song Yu avoided Yu Hong, directly turning to his group and talking.

Yu Hong felt like he had to say something, but he didn’t know what. Instead, he turned around and went back to his car. Ming Ze and An Wei introduced themselves. Shaking their hands, Song Yu felt like these Base leaders weren’t too bad.

“Happy cooperation. To ensure you get your fuel each month, I have this.” An Wei took out a small marble the size of a pinky fingernail. The uneven spirit stone shone flashes of blue and white. He blushed a little bit and handed it to Lu Jingxiu.

“It’s a thing called a spirit stone. It’s a condensing of your spiritual powers into a physical state…this one is small. I tried to make it bigger, but I can’t seem to get the parameters right.”

Everyone looked dumbfounded at the spirit stone. Spirit stones didn’t manifest until 5 years in the apocalypse, and the reason why it became known similar as an ‘engagement ring’ 3 years later was because of a water ability user in D country who gave the spirit stone to his lover…

Xiao Zi smacked Lu Jingxiu’s head.

“You cheating on me?”

“N-no! Xiao Zi, I didn’t know he was going to give it to me! Wait!”

Xiao Zi and Lu Jingxiu ran out of the gas station, Song Yu looked outside to see Lu Jingxiu grovel on the floor. It was to be expected. Although spirit stones were used as currency, in the later years it became scarcer and scarcer since ability users got stronger and no longer needed to rely on them. When it became a ‘a spirit stone is a manifestation of your love’ thing, people were toting them around like jewelry.

An Wei…might have been the very first person to manifest a spirit stone. And since he was a water ability user…he might also have been the one to make it the fad.

An Wei was still holding his pitiful spirit stone. All of a sudden, the spirit stone was grabbed. Looking up, An Wei was face to face to the large Yu Ci who held the tiny stone in his large hands. Holding it gently, Yu Ci smiled kindly.

“Do not worry. We will keep it safely and bring it whenever we come to get the fuel. You can be rest assured.” Happy, An Wei smiled, his long bangs parting to show beautiful eyes—milky white eyes that have long not been able to see.