Born a Monster

236 Servant of the Axe – Bathtub Diplomacy

Chapter Type: Character Development

“I do like the view.” I said, responding in Manoran.

He shrugged. “It is not mine; but yes, it is a scenic view.”

For a time, we lathered and rinsed.

“It is traditional for you to introduce yourself.” The woman said.

“Oh. Sorry, I thought it was obvious.” I turned to the admiral, but continued speaking in Furdish, the language the woman had used. “I am Rhishisikk, Truthspeaker and ambassador from the Red Tide Empire, also called the Tidelands.”

I repeated myself in Manoran.

“It is a pity you don’t speak any civilized language. What is ‘Truthspeaker’?”

Oh gods. Well, maybe one of them spoke the language the old man had taught me.

.....

“Speaker of Truth. I have made a sacred oath not to ever lie.”

“Never?”

“Not ever. At the risk of having my System reset all of the knowledge and skills in my brain to zero.”

She said something to the admiral in a dialect I didn’t understand.

“That is... a very severe drawback for a diplomat.” He said.

“I disagree. It cuts a lot of guesswork out of the process.”

He laughed so hard it made ripples across the water’s surface. “You must be used to hearing and saying no quite a bit.”

“And in many ways, yes. But diplomacy that way is, I think, cleaner. Why fret about for months worrying about what another nation will or won’t do?”

The woman bobbed her head under water, came up scrubbing her hair. I missed the point at which she began combing it, but it could not have been long afterward.

“So, tell me then, are you the diplomat, or is Farlaine?”

“I was appointed by our ruler; Farlaine by our diplomat to Furdia. The matter was resolved over winter. For now, I am the diplomat, but official orders should arrive soon for me to return home.”

“Why would I speak to you instead of to Farlaine, then?”

“Well, two reasons that I can think of. First, I am more honest and direct than Farlaine. Secondly, Farlaine is dead, and thus not very talkative.”

The two of them conferred in dialects of Dauria. I did catch the word “bakemono”, although it was said at such a speed that I almost missed it.

“This is your Code Deulla, honorable single combat?” the woman asked.

“Yes, he invoked Code Duello. To step down would have damaged our leader’s... face.” I used the Daurian word, hoping I was using it correctly.

The two of them shared a meaningful look.
“Many warriors would have proudly led with such a declaration.” He asked.

I shrugged. “I fight when I have to, and generally speaking only when I have to. Many would regard the use of force as a failure of my diplomatic duties, as a shameful circumstance.”

“But you do not deny that you are a warrior?”

“I am a warrior first, and carpentry is a hobby. I cannot claim it as my caste. Not with sincerity.”

They shared another look. “And is your country bereft of nobility? I was led to understand Whitehill was part of your empire.”

“Whitehill is ... still resisting integration. Their nobility does not yet have the trust of our ruler.”

“And is he the Axe Hero?” she asked.

“He IS the Axe Hero, the wielder of the Legendary Axe. I will not say how this came to be, but it turns out there are methods other than summoning from other worlds to bind with them.”

“I notice those odd words. You know but cannot say?”

I shrugged. Damn, but soap was slippery. I put it off to the side, and picked up a scrub brush. “I do know, but that is a secret not even all in our government know.”

“Is it that hard?” he asked.

I shook my head. “It is that SIMPLE, and letting it be known would risk massive changes to the world order.”

“You mean having other heroes running around puts your leader Rakkal at risk?” the woman asked.

“Among other dangers, yes. What happens when the Legendary Weapons can be carried by normal people, without a summoning and binding ritual?”

The admiral closed his eyes. “Chaos.”

The admiral opened his eyes. “But the secret is safely kept?”

I shook my head. “Unless we are all very foolish, it will become common knowledge during our lifetimes.”

“But you keep it.”

“I have seen the changes one Legendary Hero can make; I can imagine what will happen when all of them are walking the earth. I may not be able to stop it, but I will not help birth that day.”

The admiral dropped his soap. “Hi-Yah... how clumsy of me.”

“Not to worry.” the woman said, producing the soap. “Mei of the sure hands is here.”

“You will tell no-one of the soap?”

“I don’t see the soap as significant.” I said, “Explain to me why it is important, and I will not speak of the soap while you live.”

“I will explain.” Mei said. In unaccented Manoran, I noticed. “A leader must be in control at all times, yes?”

I massaged my eyeballs, “No, but please continue.”

“A proper Daurian leader must be in control at all times. So, you see, even small moments where he is seen to be out of control or unprepared, these are things that call into question his ability to lead. You see and understand?”

I turned my head and spat. “I doubt that many admirals command only from a bathtub. Although the soap is just a bar of soap to me, I will keep my word.”



Best

They both exhaled.

“He is like Mongo.” She told him, using the dialect I knew.

“Mongo ” he told her back.

She smiled and nodded.

“A small debt, but one I will acknowledge.” He said. “Tell me what you most expect me to say no to.”

“The Red Tide Empire would like to offer your citizens here a chance to die in open warfare.”

His eyes snapped to slits. “Choose your next words carefully, they may be your last.”

From under the water, there was a glint of metal in Mei’s left hand.

I waved a hand dismissively. “Not here, not anywhere on Daurian soil. We need soldiers for our own local wars north of here.”

The blade vanished like magic, and the admiral’s eyes went from near-closed to open wide.

“We can guarantee that they will either die, or at the very least never return to Dauria. If any run, there are over a hundred leagues across wild lands claimed by the Uruk...”

“You are insane, to even ask this!”

Mei dabbed at her face with a towel, hiding much of it from me.

The admiral thrust a finger twice as thick as any of mine into my face. “By my honor, not a single soul condemned to this island shall EVER leave. Not while I live, not after I die, NEVER.”

“Except by the mercy of the holy empress.” Mei said.

“Yes, of course with that one unlikely exception. Only by the will of the holy empress may prisoners or their descendants leave the island.”

“You must think us needlessly cruel, to keep the children here as well.” Mei said.

“I understand it is a matter of ... family honor ... I do not know the word in your languages.”

Mei smiled radiantly. “Exactly. It would shame us, to separate the children from their parents, even if it were for the purpose of saving them from the barbarity of the land outside these walls. True, some abandoned children are let inside, but only the very young. There must never be any doubt that those sent to die here do so.”

“Because of honor to duty. To the empress and her will.”

“I could remain calm while you didn’t understand these things, but now you UNDERSTAND what you ask? It is unforgivable!”

He placed his hands on the edge of the bath behind him, but Mei held out her hand. “Kwan Lun!” she said.

“My understanding was only gained after I came to these islands. I assure you my duty commands me to ask what Rakkal, who definitely does NOT understand, has commanded me to ask.”

The admiral pushed himself from the bath, suddenly and with great disruption to the water. He screamed something about Rakkal in Daurian.

“I shall presume you are claiming our leader is an idiot. He IS the Axe Hero. I ask only that you review the history of the Axe Heroes and Heroines known to Dauria. Idiot or not, he is our leader.”

Mei was pulling herself from the water in a more organized manner. “So sorry for his conduct. When he is in a mood to listen, I will remind him.”

“For this kindness, Mei, I thank you. Please let me know when I can repay it.”

“Oh, no. Something so small as that is but a pebble on a beach.”

.....

“Please, at least tell me your family name, that I may properly honor them.”

“Mei is just a Lily Woman! Cease talking to her like she’s a person!” he then addressed Mei in a way that made her hasten into her clothing, and helping him into his, so they could both depart.

Diplomacy.

It’s a Charisma skill.