Born a Monster

373 273 – Hungry Land

Captain Duncan had us dropped off at a shallow rise at the base of one of the hills.

“Rhishi! If you’re going to climb so fast, throw me a rope.”

“I don’t HAVE a rope.” I said.

“Then get back here and help me climb!” she insisted.

Don’t ask me; she had Agility, she had claws; I’ve seen her climb before without issue. I was carrying the heavy luggage, some of it not even in inventory. Yet there we were, struggling up the slope until the grade became more shallow.

But the sort of things she said along the way, and the fact that she kept trying to kick me in the eyeball, proved that it was her, and not some doppelganger.

We actually made it ten feet further in before the first of the kobolds addressed us from the trees.

“What language is that?” Kismet asked.

I shrugged. “Some derivative of ancient Malosian. I thought learning Malosian would help with Koboldese, but it’s just garbled noises to me.”

.....

“Well, any clues what they want?” she asked.

“None. We’re better off just ignoring them until they...”

“We speak that language.” one of them said. “You pay toll, or kobolds kill you.”

“Toll?” Kismet asked. “Do you know who you’re talking to?”

“Kismet, please. We only need so much of your land as to make our crossing, and only for the time it takes to cross.”

“Okay, then only two gold coins, each.”

I placed the luggage down, sighing. “Kismet?”

“Yeah?”

“Do try not to kill them. They are still citizens of the empire.” I tried to pull a shield out of inventory, only to find none there. Oops. Parrying knife, it was, then.

“We are KOBOLDS! Maim the intruders, and take all their things!”

There were six of them, and they were fast.

“Kobolds are the dirt beneath our feet, upon which we leave our night soils.” I found myself saying.

Just a word of advice, don’t DO that to people with Flurry of Blows.

[You have been struck for...]

[You have been struck for...]

[You have been struck for...]

[SYSTEM ERROR]

Of all the times to glitch out! Thanks, System.

They didn’t even have weapons, just slashing at me with level two claws. Each individual blow barely hurt, but there were easily a dozen wounds on me just from their initial assault.

In return, I had cut ... one of them.
Kismet was darting around with her rapier, poking at kobolds that just weren’t there when she thrust.

They took turns with their second Flurry, which seemed less effective than when they’d all done it at once. Still, without any clue of how badly wounded I was, I have to admit it was terrifying.

It was that terror that must have powered my muscles, cutting a kobold deeply enough to spray blood over all of us.

He fell, but never struck the ground. Two of them grabbed him, and literally hopped away. The other three also took a sudden leap backward, speaking rapidly to each other, and then chuckling.

“You are wounded.” one of them said.

Kismet shrugged. “He’s always wounded. You’ve fought against him, and still don’t know who this is?”

“Haha, is dead person.” the kobold responded. “When rest of clan arrives...”

“Slumber!” I shouted.

To my surprise, he actually slumped, and was caught by one of his fellows.

The other shouted out something I didn’t understand. But the wave of darkness rolling toward us was unmistakable.

The charging kobold attempted to stop, but skidded too close to Kismet. I doubt she hurt him deeply, but she hurt him.

He made to jump back to his fellow, but I also had second level tissues, and nerve endings to match. I missed his shoulder, only grasping his ankle. There were large popping and cracking noises; and then nothing but screaming from him.

As the still unwounded one watched, I picked my blade back up. Placed it into inventory. Picked up the luggage, only to have one bag swiped away by Kismet.

“You are NOT bleeding into my Daurian silk dresses.” she told me.



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We didn’t bother with bravado; we ran.

“Not that way.” I said, “this path.”

“That path leads down!” she said.

“Yes.” I said. “To the plains.”

It wasn’t a good plan; we were free of the trees when they caught us, but they caught us. Over twenty of them surrounded us, all of them black as night itself, but reflecting the moonlight.

“Rhishi, DO SOMETHING!” Kismet said.

“Ignition.” I cast, causing a nearby plant to give forth a curl of smoke.

The kobolds began laughing.

“DO SOMETHING USEFUL!” she shouted, making what felt like a roundhouse punch to my eye.

“Ouch.” I said, raising a palm to my leaking eye socket. Kismet wasn’t paying attention, trying to build a fortress out of luggage containers. “Well, that’s an eyeball I’ll have to regrow.”

“Maybe we keep you alive, then.” the nearest kobold called out. “Listen to you scream, see what you can and cannot regrow.”

[Error, not a recognized command.]

Okay, so about the way it normally did. It’s just that the entire damage reporting section had gone silent. Actually, I felt like I had more than half my health.

“I can pay!” Kismet shouted, “I can pay your damn outrageous fee!”

“Blood has been spilled.” a female said, “Our fee is now in blood.”

Damn it! After so long, to be able to handle kobolds one on one, only to die to a mob of them... And yet, it seemed inevitable.

There was no time to make the Miko Light, or even War, and certainly not Celestial Heavens mana.

We had no companions, no spirits, nothing resembling combat magic.

Perhaps if I could fight their champion? But I didn’t see anyone who looked like that...

I didn’t see ANYONE who looked like that.

“Kismet.” I said, “Try to leave some of these alive.”

“Hell, NO!” she said, “There’s too many. I’m taking as many of them down with us as I can.”

“None of them are warriors. I think we’ve already taken down half of their border patrol, and THESE are the kobold equivalent of civilians.”

One of the kobolds waved at me. “Sleeping spells don’t take people down for long.” he said. “You took down TWO warriors.”

I stretched. “Any champion is worth FIVE warriors is the saying.” I said. “Be glad I’ve killed none of you by accident.”

He snorted. “You are both wounded, and now crippled.”

“And the woman who did this to me, do you think she’s a champion? Once you bring me down by sheer numbers, do you think enough of you will remain to do the same to her?”

“She’s nothing. She’s scared.”

I threw a backhand out to intercept someone closing on my blind side. It wasn’t a crit, but it struck his raised arm hard enough to partially spin him. He sprung back, using that momentum in a powerful swing that might have done kidney damage to a man.

I wasn’t there, and his momentum carried him past me. Before he could turn, I had brought the pommel of my sword down on the crown of his head. His spin became a stumble, but he turned his fall into a roll that took him back into the darkness.

“That was my blind side.” I said. “And yet, my senses are sharp enough to fight you without sight.”

There was a KER-KRUK from behind me. “Kismet, please remain calm.”

“No, I think we left calm back about a a quarter mile ago. I think, why have I trained with this fricking repeating crossbow, if not to use it in combat?”

“Let me ask this broader group, then. We only need so much of your land as to cross it, and only for the time needed to cross it.”

“Kobold blood has been spilled...” the female began repeating.

PRONG, PRONG, THWAK, PRONG, THWAK, THWAK!

“Who else wants some violence!?” Kismet screamed.

“Protect the females!” one of them screamed in Manoran.

.....

I exhaled and closed my good eye as they swarmed forward toward Kismet.

From out in the darkness, someone cleared her throat, and spoke clearly in Koboldese. Her tone was sharp, brooking no argument. The laughter, the charge, both stopped immediately. Then, to Kismet, she said “What is all this ruckus?”

“We’re just trying to get back to Narrow Valley from the Shining Isles.” Kismet said.

The kobold matron chuckled. “You can’t make a more believable lie than that?”

“Before you rush on that,” I said, “My name is Rhishisikk, I am a Truthspeaker, and I literally cannot lie to you. In the past three years, I have fought a Child of Fenris, and survived not one but two civil wars. My System recently set my nutrition multiplier to ten, the lowest tier of what is considered heroic. I have evolved second tier flesh, much like your own.”

I extended a hand toward Kismet. “THAT is Kismet of the City of Towers, who has more levels in Brawler than I do in Swordsman and Duelist combined.”

She whispered something to the shadows, who whispered back to her.

“THREE gold each, and she will tell people who ask that we broke your eyeball for your insolence.”

“Done and done.” Kismet said. “Only fools attempt to cross kobold lands.”

Not even an hour later she said, “The government is paying me back.”

Yes, I know NOW that it’s because kobolds make random noises at each other when outsiders are nearby. Because they’re kobolds, as if they needed any other reason to mess with us.