Born a Monster

550 Ear Leech

No need to bore you with everything I tried; in the morning I was exhausted. My guards were exhausted; the Forge …priest?... who arrived even looked exhausted.

His guards looked broad and muscular, upright in their heavy armor.

“Is this...” he asked, “I mean, I was expecting someone … larger.”

“This is him.” Alexis said. “Turns out that every time he changes shape he loses bits of himself.”

Well, this wasn’t the time for that truth. Let them believe what they wanted.

“I will need confirmation from your leader.” he said. “Please. He should be up by now. Summon him, if you would. Marag, if you would please cut the ropes from his snout. I would have words with the apostate.”

Marag was confident in his skills, or didn’t care if he cut me. Probably both. The rope split beneath two strikes of his blade, and fell away.

I managed to catch a segment with my tongue, and swallowed it before any of them thought to stop me.

[Negligible nutrition; serving too small.]

.....

Yeah, enough of THOSE messages and I would still get nutrition eventually.

“Yes, even I have heard of your legendary gluttony. Tell me, is it true you eat whole plants?”

“When I have to, yes.” I said. “I prefer to eat only the normal parts, but nutrition is nutrition.”

He smiled, in that creepy ominous way that torturers often do.

[Orator, above your level.]

[Storyteller, above your level.]

Huh. Well, temperament doesn’t always match one’s classes.

“May I ask a question?”

He opened his hands generously. “I don’t see why not. We are, after all, chatting amiably.”

“The coloration on your robes. I don’t recognize your order.”

“Ah, there is no reason you should.” he said. “Exorcists are not so common as the Inquisitorial and Clerical arms of the church.”

“Exorcist?” I asked. “The class for dealing with ghosts and other spirits?”

He nodded. “And wards.”

I failed to suppress my gasp.

“Ah, I knew you were a smart one! Who else could shame our High Council in a single day?” he clapped his hands expectantly. But, my turn. How would you like to serve in our army?”

What?

WHAT?

“I think that would be highly retarded.” I said. “I wouldn’t trust the soldiers walking at my sides and back not to kill me.”
“Indeed, they might try. But I think you would survive. It seems to be what you do.”

Don’t try to shrug with your arms and legs tied wrist to ankle, knee to elbow. I was flexible enough to manage it. “I admit, I spend much of my normal day thinking about how to live to the next.”

“That’s all right.” he soothed. “I, you see, am about to remove that worry from you. To whit, I shall do your thinking for you.”

“Puppeteer’s Curse?” I asked. “No Will Hex? Mental Domination?”

He chuckled. “All of them crude ideas, and easily detected and countered. Let me tell you a story. Oh, but first? Marag, now.”

Marag seized the remaining guard, whose name I never learned. With sheer muscle, he bent the guard’s head. I didn’t have an angle to see how they got his helmet off, but I can’t believe it was hard.

With a scream, he fell to the ground.

“Pick up your helmet.” the Exorcist said. “And stand at attention.”

The guard wept openly, clutching his hands to his ears.

The exorcist sighed. “Quietly, Marag. Get him the way he needs to be.”

To me, he said. “Exorcist is a thankless profession. You never know, going in, whether you’re getting a trumped up spirit or some actual demon or devil. Nasty pieces of work.”

“And there are the cases that waste my time. Pretenders, mostly children. The insane, mostly the elderly. But... every so often, you run across a curse, an item, something unique. Tell me, have you ever heard of the Manchurian Ear Leech?”

“Minor Psionic Creature.” I said. “Blind, usually... oh, the ear.”

The guard was at attention now, wiping the blood off his ear and putting on his helmet.

“Level six pain coercion.” he said. “At most, I think you will last two days before you give in. Regretably, your Insight, and your mind in general will suffer, but then... my plans don’t involve YOUR mind.”

He set his foot upon my head, using his weight and leverage to force it against the earth.

“I understand they are both rare and difficult to cultivate.” I said. “I salute your efforts.”

“Not yet.” he purred, “But soon, you will linger on my every word.”

I sighed.

“Do YOU have any last words?”

“I don’t think it’s appropriate to try cursing you.” I said. “My efforts would doubtless be more insult than assault.”


“A nice turn of phrase.” he said, dropping the parasite into my ear.

Yes, the PARASITE.

<System. Ability. Lifeshaper. Activate. Slay parasite.> I sent, when it was starting to bundle up against my eardrum.

I sent commands to absorb the body, impressed by the brain of the poor thing. It didn’t use the third eye like I did. It used something called [Hexagonal Lamina], an evolution which wouldn’t help my Resolve, but could still raise my Psionic potential.

If only I had the nutrition! Alas, I was closer to the famine end of my meter than feast.

“Now, what do you say to your master?” he asked.

I winced, hoping raw charisma was enough to pull of an appropriate acting check. “There is … a place... in the hell... of Envy... for you.” I said.

“Mag-nificent.” he said. “I’d expect no less from someone capable of carrying a Valkyrie in his mind. However, we can’t have you warning him. Ardwyn, rope the apostate’s muzzle shut, please. I’m sure he won’t mind a little bit of pain, considering what the ear leech is already doing to him.”

“No, you don’t need to do that.” I said.

“I think I do.” Ardwyn said, pulling out a rope with the noose already on the end.

Bitch.

Well, I mean, I know it’s her job, but I didn’t appreciate that at the time.

And then, we waited, and waited, while he just... monologued. Yes, outlining his plans, and how he hated to waste the young of his ear leech, and the difficulty his breeding program was having. Honestly, he must have heard of inbreeding. It wasn’t hard to figure out.

And, eventually, Hortiluk entered the tent, followed by Alexis. And both were grabbed, hands over their mouths.

“Two guards.” lamented the exorcist. “Such a waste of resources.”

Being limited by mana types, I agreed. But at the appropriate time, I slew Hortiluk’s parasite as well. <1 >

Was there a slight widening of his nostrils? A shake of the head? Even today, I’m not certain I saw either of those things. The Exorcist, reciting general puppet orders to Hortiluk did not.

Normal things. Tell nobody of your condition, nor of those of any of the others, and don’t even hint such a condition could exist. Except as ordered, go about your day as you normally would, giving no hint that anything is different. Be in touch soon, blah, blah, blah.

And I was hefted into a wheelbarrow, and thusly moved to the back of the caravan, past the wagons I intended to target. I did still have a mission, after all.

“Did you see the LOOK of hatred on his face?” he asked Ardwyn.

Her own predatory smile showed. “Glorious. I think he actually thought he’d deceived you.”

“Yes, that does seem likely.” the exorcist agreed, beaming into the rising sun. “But soon, we’ll be at their final fortress city. Once that ward is gone... Oh, this war will soon be over.”

He shook his collar. “And we can get out of this damned heat. How does anyone WORK in these temperatures?”

“The faithless grew up here.” Marag offered. “It stands to reason they can work here.”

“Under the auspices of the true church, Loki be praised.” another of his guards said.

“Loki be praised.” the exorcist said. “For he made us hobgoblins, the race that will rise to rule this world. A new age, for those races used to being trampled under by greater beings.”

Ugh. The expected benedictions back and forth, the wasted words just to make sure everyone was in agreement, everyone still faithful, everyone still loyal and servile...

There are parts of their society that I didn’t miss.

They parked me next to an entire wheelbarrow filled with kitchen slops.

“Marag, if you please.” the exorcist said.

“Not with MY rope, you brute.” Ardwyn said. “My aunt wove this section of rope, just for me.”

Marag sheathed his sword. “Looks like any other coil of hemp rope to me.”

“Well it’s not.” she said, expertly unwinding it and coiling it in a practiced motion. “I would recognize this rope among a hundred others.

.....

“A few red fibers...”

The exorcist waved a hand.

“Now, beast. Eat this garbage, and be thankful for it.”

“Thank you.” I said, gulping down unending mouthfuls of glorious nutrition.

Quickest way to a man’s heart, and all.

<1 > Yes, this is [Silent Cast], the second level mystic ability, to avoid the verbal incantation normally required to [Slay Parasite] outside my body. Told you I’d unlocked some useful stuff in Shaman.