Casual Heroing

“I’m sorry,” I say toward the Princess.

Everyone is still speechless when I take the opportunity to repent for my sins. Am I really sorry? I would say so. I don’t like getting angry, but I also don’t want to hurt people too badly. I didn’t know how much damage such a [Flash] up close could have done.

Stan is now looking at the girl so harshly that I would have pissed myself if I had been in her place.

Dude, I swear, what is up with all these overpowered people? I just finished my conversation with that lunatic inside the book and now Stan goes batshit crazy on me? What’s up?

Lady Luck, is that you? Have I been ignoring you for too long? Have I left you on read so many times that now you feel like pulling a ‘crazy’ on me?

Oh man, I’m also tired.

I still have to catch up on my sleep schedule.

I yawn in the middle of this, and the Princess turns toward me first, then toward Stan, almost like saying ‘why can he yawn in this moment and you don’t say anything?!’

My Stanimal has lost a lot of his patience, hasn’t he? I have never seen that look in his eyes before.

“Apologize, child. You are not going to like the consequences, otherwise.”

Oh shit.

I know where this is going.

Listen, I have read enough books in my life to see where narratives are moving toward. Can’t you do the same? Look at the facts.

Stanimal is associated with the Royal Family, some kind of great-great-great-great grandfather who has been protecting them and/or fighting for them. So, this means that he regretted his past of something because of all the atrocities he had to do and whatever. Now, the man came here to atone for his sins, right?

However, if he still holds a great sway and he’s still linked with the Royal Family, he’s not going to let this girl go just like that, is he? Especially, if they are family.

Goddamn.

Oh no.

Oh.

Oh, yes?

Wait.

Do I want what’s going to happen or not?

Is it not the ultimate romcom?

But this girl is kind of nasty, honestly.

“Apologize, please,” I tell her. I made up my mind. I don’t want this girl here, really.

She just scowls at me and sniffs with her nose.

Yes, woman, very cute. But you have no idea what’s going to—

“You are not going to apologize, child?” Stan’s smothering with anger.

“I bow to no worm! I could take this idiot’s life and I wouldn’t feel sorry in the slightest!” she screams.

Oh fuck.

Oh.

Jesus.

Stan nods, trembling in anger, before fishing something from inside his robe. He rustles a few seconds before taking out a stone?

He speaks a few words under his breath and after waiting a few seconds, an alarmed voice comes out of said stone.

“Ancestor!” the person’s voice is clearly excited.

“You incompetent brat!” Stan shouts so loud and strong that I can feel the person on the other end wincing.

“Ancestor, I’m sorry! What… did I do?”

“Is that…” I hear the woman by my side choke on her own words and, after a look at her, she is now several shades paler.

“Your daughter came here and disrespected my orders, brat!”

“Laura? What?”

Dude, I swear, I think the stone is starting to sweat.

“I removed myself from mundane affairs! I ordered that no one should bother me, brat! Did you not explain that to your daughter? And what is this inane hate for Humans she has? Who taught her that? Do I need to come back to court and remove you from the throne?”

“What?! Ancestor! No, wait! I’m sorry! I’ll teach her better! It’s her mom! She always gossips about stupid Humans and their—”

“Have we not learned anything?”

The anger seems gone from his voice, having turned into sadness and weariness.

“Ancestor,” the voice coming from the stone becomes pained, “your son taught us the value of kindness and compassion. It taught us to be greater than anger and his teachings shall be respected until I hold this throne. I shall honor his memory and I will tell my wife that—”

“Julius,” Stan says. “Your wife, she’s now removed from her position. You can choose whether you want to follow her in suit or divorce such a woman.”

Fuck.

What?

“Ancestor, I—”

“No, Julius. Hate is not what we will be teaching our children. I’ll visit the court once again after all these years and purge every single venomous snake she has put there, soon. You better start working on that, if you don’t want to me to school your green ears.”

Stan puts down the stone for a second, sighing.

“All these years of quiet, and this is how I get roped back in?”

“Julius,” he says putting the stone back to his mouth.

“Yes, Ancestor?”

“I’ll be taking care of the education of Princess Laura. Do you have any other children?”

“Two younger ones, Ancestor. They are both at the Nine Towers Academy, Ancestor.”

Stan sighs.

“I’ll be visiting them shortly. Do not warn them, Julius. I shall test the new generations and I’ll cut all of them out of the line of succession if I deem it necessary. I shall not partake in councils, nor I shall be disturbed. I’ll come at my own convenience to check on your work at court. Before then, I’ll be taking care of your daughter and attending my current duties.”

“Yes, Ancestor. I’ll have everything done. Including… my ex-wife. I’m sorry, Ancestor. My shame is greater than the World’s Tree. I failed and cast shame on our history.”

“You were a good kid, Julius. Don’t be blindsided by power.”

“Yes, Ancestor,” the stone replies with reverence before a slight hint of doubt enters its tone, “may I ask what duties you are attending to? Only if you are at liberty to divulge that to me.”

Stan smiles at the question.

“Sure, Julius. I’m working at a bakery. On that note, lower the tax on sugar next week. By twenty percent. I’ll see you soon.”

“What? Ancestor? Ancestor!”

Stan puts back the speaking stone in some magical hole he has in his robe.

“Well, child,” he says toward Princess Laura, “you forced my hand.”