Casual Heroing

“I was listening,” Stanimal says with a straight face.

“And you are not going to beat this guy up?” I ask, incredulous.

Stanimal just looks at me without blinking, slowly stroking his silvery beard.

“Should I?”

“I mean, your nephews are getting bullied, not mine,” a touch of anger reaches my voice.

“Mh.”

Stan doesn’t want to beat up this Appius dude and his stupid brother bullying my two soon-to-be brothers-in-law. Is he testing me? Why do I get the impression he’s testing me?

“Are you testing me to see if I’m going to smash this Appius dude’s face? How old is this brother of his even? Twelve?”

“Twenty-one. Appius is thirty-two.”

“What? I’m confused here, Stanimal. Are you telling me that a grown-ass man is bullying two kids?”

Stan smiles and nods.

Oh, come on, Stanimal. Don’t be so obvious.

“Are you trying to rile me up for the duels?”

“Why would I?”

I exhale, exasperated. I pace around Stan’s room, a spacious and clearly exclusive space. He has one of those big beds with a roof. I have no idea what they are called. And, if I have to be honest, the wood of the bed-thingy looks enchanted.

“Are there enchantments to improve your sleep?” I say, pointing at the object.

“Yes. They are not common, and few people can maintain them.”

“Meh, whatever. Academy pricks. Anyway, did you get any news from Camilla and Clodia? Are Tiberius and Quintus still alive?”

Stan gives me a hearty laugh before nodding.

“Both are well. I received a message while you were visiting the tower. Master Lakaris has successfully laid the foundations of the bakery. He’s squeezing as much work as possible from his crew, hoping he will be able to present us the finished bakery when we come back.”

“That’s… ambitious.”

“He is almost at level 60, Joey. I’m not sure you understand how high that is.”

“Oh, talking about levels. Where’s [Archmage] Marcus? And how is it fair that Dragons can level up? Shouldn’t they be excluded from it?”

“All sentient creatures can level up, Joey. Even your Wallorian Treasurer. In fact, I think she might have leveled up in one of her escapades.”

Yeah, Princess Bianca sometimes goes on strolls on her own. I gave her a couple of protection artifacts to make sure no one steals or hurts her, though.

“Her species is very rare these days. But, hopefully, if a war does break out, we’ll see more people level up. Ever since my kin went into slumber, this world has been sleeping too.”

Turning, I find the humanoid Dragon staring at me from the door. I wonder what ‘these days’ qualifies as from a Dragon’s perspective. Is it millennia? A couple of centuries?

“Marcus,” Stan nods to our host.

“Tiberius,” Marcus smiles, “I arranged the first duels for tomorrow morning. They will be a test. If he passes, we’ll arrange the real deal and make a spectacle out of it.”

“Can’t we have it more subdued? I’m not really in the mood for playing a gladiator in the Colosseum.”

“The political implications of your challenge and the eventual result are—”

Stan raises a hand, and the [Archmage] fellow goes silent.

“No, Joey.”

“Ok,” I shrug.

“So, if you wish to prepare for the upcoming trials, I’ll arrange a room with—”

“What? I’m already prepared. Weren’t we supposed to discuss magic? Come on, let’s not waste time. I’m on a schedule here. I need to go back to Amorium as soon as possible.”

…

Marcus was quite baffled by my attitude, but he still acceded to my request. We went into a private exercise room. It’s like a gym. But for magic. It was mainly layered with different protection spells to avoid exploding the place or yourself.

“Fascinating,” the humanoid says.

His multi-colored irises reflect the shine of my magic. I’m spinning around twenty [Lights] in concentric circles. Perpendicular to them, I’m rotating a couple more in orbits. They perfectly intersect the voids between the other [Lights].

“So, this is the magic Titus has said would change the entire academy? And it comes from you. And a girl you were bedding stole that precious knowledge? And you are telling me?”

The [Archmage] looked genuinely surprised at my revelation.

“I mean, [Archmage], no offense. But I’m just showing you my Cantrips. I barely explained how they work. And if it’s true that you can deduct some of this, I guarantee you that the inner workings of my magical theory are much deeper than this. I’ll willingly share enough knowledge for you to incorporate all of this into your spell matrixes—no need to torture me or stuff like that. Also, I’m pretty sure that one of the artifacts I own would blow us up both if you tried. And it’s not my hat,” I say while giving the Dragon both my signature wink and a now-signature hat-tip.

“Bargaining with a Dragon after several months just being a baker and a Gold-rank. Joey Luciani, do you have any idea what any member of my race would do to you if you showed up with that hat in front of them?”

“Try to,” I correct him.

The golden humanoid shakes his head.

“Humans are so very… brazen. It must be your short lifespan. Dragons can’t afford the same degree of idiocy. But it’s the same idiocy Humans have that makes them level up so fast. Take the Vanedenis, for example. They throw themselves in danger like moths to fire… But yes, let’s make a bargain, Joey Luciani. What do you want from me? Is it the recipe for the elixirs that prolong life? Do you want information on your adversaries? A favor?”

“Nah.”

“What do you want, then?”

“Tell me, [Archmage] Marcus, do you know what radiation is?”