Casual Heroing

“Mother!” Antoninus’s sister shouted with tears. “Where have you been?”

“I—I don’t remember? I’ve been healed, completely. I can’t see the curse in my head anymore.”

“Wait! I’ll go call Antoninus! Do not move! Or come with me! Can you walk?!”

“Yes.”

The older woman looked around her house, confused. She had no recollection of what happened. She just remembered being healed—by whom? Why couldn’t she remember anything? She had some vague recollection, some fading faces. But that was all.

As she scanned the room for a second, she could have sworn a shadow moved on its own.

…

Claudia had been brought to the famous bakery that a Human built from nothing in front of the Adventurers’ Guild. That was one bold move, for sure.

“My mom, Lucillus!” Antoninus hugged his pal and cried like only a giant with a kind heart can. Even the usually stony fellow of his smiled and patted his back.

Many adventurers had come as soon as they heard, having just to cross the street. Even Quintus and Tiberius, two of the four managers of the bakery, now cheered. They had been war veterans and knew Claudia’s feats well.

“Claudia, how did it happen? Was it some hidden master?”

That’s what the adventurers kept asking. She had disappeared almost two months prior. Now, most of the mess that went down at the academy had subsided. And most people forgot that Claudia had disappeared shortly after the covered-up story of how two [Archmages] died by the hand of some reclusive Vanedeni. A note had been left, saying that she would be back cured – such a note did not have a signature nor a name attached to it.

But as Claudia got drunker and drunker, some people exchanged poignant looks.

Lucillus and Antoninus were sitting at a table. The joy had washed over when they had crossed their gazes once too many times. They both knew who was responsible for this. It was as clear as day. If not even the Royals could cure [Rottenbone], who else than the wondrous crazy Human could have?

“His location is still unknown?” Antoninus asked, feeling guilty. His mother was healthy, but her savior was not here to partake.

“That Valarith probably teleported all of them away. Stan sent Domitilla and me back without a word. I have gathered from my own research that this Valarith should be hundreds of years old – I’m not sure that’s possible. And she was believed to be dead, Antoninus. Joey disappeared with her. Then, your mother goes away for two months and comes back like—”

Lucillus was struggling to find the right words.

“He did things, Antoninus. I already told you. He defeated Appius and Adriana—killed them. It wasn’t the Vanedeni woman. He killed in front of my eyes. He said he was ready to take on an [Archmage]. And he fought with a terrifying [Mage], possibly an [Archmage]. I have never seen anything like that. Never.”

“Do you think he will ever come back?” Camilla appeared from behind, with Flaminia in tow.

Lucillus looked for a second at the ex-employee of Happy Bakery before shrugging. This was not a moment of his. This was a moment for the one missing, who made all of this possible.

“I have no idea. He’s wanted. The death of the two [Archmages] was trialed as treason, and both were hung over his head. The same for Appius, even though it was a duel. If he shows his face, he would have to fight armies of [Soldiers], [Guards], and even [Assassins].”

“Outside of Amorium, where people didn’t know him, he’s being smeared. They treat him as the greatest criminal in our history,” Flaminia said.

Antoninus simply clenched his fists, unable to formulate a coherent thought.

“At least the money for the bakery is still coming. Weirdly, the Royal Treasury is still financing this project.”

Clodia entered the conversation with extreme pragmatism.

“Those flat-eared idiots at court are probably too busy with their politics to notice they are still paying for it. Lakaris is also bleeding them. He didn’t take the news very well. He tries to hide it, but he is working for Joey. Not for us.”

Everyone gave a good look at the bakery. It was still in its inception, but it looked regal. It was going to be the most beautiful architectural feat ever done in Amorium, the city with the Green Walk where some of the best [Architects] in the world had put down their heritage.

“Domitilla has been bullied recently,” Lucillus spoke up. “Someone should pay for an escort. The fact that she was his disciple didn’t go unnoticed. Some [Guards] of the Watch are even saying that she should be brought in for questioning.”

…

Joey looked at his friends talking about him for hours and then chatting about Claudia once again. The party would go on until night, for sure. He had asked Valarith to reset Claudia’s memories and shroud him with enough magic to make him impossible to notice. The spell he had on him was several orders of magnitudes better than any [Invisibility].

He looked at the work Lakaris had done with the place and nodded to himself, happy. It wasn’t every day that you found someone who studied architecture and was also capable of doing a good job. He hoped that someone would put all of this to good use.

Then, he walked out and went over other places. There was no reason to linger on anyone in particular. He was emotionally adrift, not understanding why he didn’t feel what he was supposed to be feeling. His emotions came out in bursts. They weren’t a delineated stream of anger, happiness, depression, and so on. No, they were hiding, coming out at random moments. They were casual acts of madness pouring out like a waterfall.

He went to Agostina’s place, finding Domitilla in her aunt’s bed, with puffy red eyes. Agostina and Julia were arguing loudly about Joey.

“We have to renege him, publicly!” Agostina argued.

“He taught your niece magic, you idiot, and you want to renege him!”

“They are picking on her because of him!” Agostina looked beside herself.

“So what?! She’ll grow from it!”

Joey shook his head, and he sneaked into Agostina’s room.

“Yo,” he said, casting a [Silence] spell around them.

“Huh?” she huffed.

“Yo, Domitilla. I’m Joey. You can’t see me. Are you ok?” he asked.

“Huh? Joey? Is this another prank? Please, leave me alone,” she started sobbing.

Joey widened his eyes and sighed.

Staying invisible would have been more poetic.

He snapped his fingers and put an end to Valarith’s spell.

“Believe me, now?”

Domitilla tackled him.

“Joey!”

Joey hugged back from the ground, hoping his back would survive this ordeal.

“It’s him, dude. Please, can you let go? Oof.”

“What are you doing here?! Did you heal Antoninus’s mother?!”

“Look, I wanted to stay invisible, have my melancholic walk around, and that would be it. But I hear that you are being bullied?”

Joey furrowed his brows.

“It’s—” Domitilla suddenly choked.

“You can come with me if you want. You’d learn magic beyond your wildest imagination.”

Domitilla instantly looked skittish.

“Or you can just stay here. I’ll go talk with your mom now.”

Joey canceled his [Silence] spell and opened the room to the living room.

If Julia and Agostina had been in worse health, Joey appearing out of nowhere could have veritably given both a heart attack.

“What are you—”

Agostina simply raised her wand, ready to attack him.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that,” Joey pointed at his hat, “the stuff in my hat has been adjusted to counter every magic directed at me. You fire that, and you might find yourself with a hole in your stomach, Agostina.”

They were both shocked, and Joey took the chance to speak.

“Listen, I have heard about Domitilla. I could bring her to learn great magic and yadda yadda yadda, but she doesn’t want that. Right? Well, I’m still bound to visit every once in a while to check on her progress and stuff like that. She’s my [Student], and I’m her [Teacher]. It’s my duty. For the bullying, I’ll just go visit the Watch now. Cya.”

Joey went out of the door with the most casual strut one could picture.

...

When he started walking among Amorium’s streets in plain light, it took a bit before anyone noticed him. Who would expect the most wanted person in the kingdom to just materialize where everyone was expecting him?

“Yeah, yeah. Oh, Jesus, Lord Juler, I know,” Joey spoke with a hand to his ear. “Yeah, no. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Can you stop gloating? I thought the ‘invisible thing’ was going to be cooler. Yeah. [Assassins]? Hmm.”

Joey looked around.

“Probably a couple of them watching. What? No, I’m not. I said I’m not! Christ,” Joey exhaled loudly. “OK. I said, ‘ok.’ I’m not! I’m going to—I’m not going to kill them! What? What example? Lord Juler, I swear—I don’t care about what a Vanedeni would do!”

He kept talking to himself so loudly that people finally had to notice the famous baker having reappeared in the middle of the day. Incidentally, none of his friends knew. He would be gone before anyone could tell them that he had come back for one last show.

“What? The—WHICH WAND, JESUS. CAN’T YOU JUST COLOR-CODE THEM? What is a gnarled unicorn finish? Are you—Can’t I—ok, I’ll use that wand.”

“Isn’t that the Human?” a pair of [Guards] on patrol suddenly looked at the man.

“For the world’s tree rotten roots—”

“Ok, I have two wands in my hands—which one? Is it the one with the white stone? No? What do you mean unicorns are not white? Jesus! The handle has what inscriptions? They all look the same! Look, can you put Lucinda on speaker?”

“Hey you!” the two [Guards] started running after the Human. It was weird that he was just casually walking like that in the middle of Amorium. And he was also seemingly going for the Watch.

“Oh, listen, you old goat! I told you that color-coding is perfectly—wait a second,” Joey turned toward the two [Guards] running. “Are you two with the Watch?”

“In the name of the Watch!”

“Could have answered normally—stop speaking! I’m—whatever!”

Joey took something from his ear and put it in his pocket.

“Give this old man a goddamn construction site to look at,” he mumbled.

“You!”

Joey looked at the two low-leveled [Guards]. [Guards] were rarely above level 15, and they had apparently forgotten that he was a certified Gold-ranked adventurer.

“Ok, let’s calm down a second, so I can explain what you are going to do—”

“You are under arrest!” they both unsheathed their swords.

“Yeah, sure,” Joey snorted. “I’ll make it quick. I’m going to destroy the Watch. If you bother Domitilla once again or bully her, I’ll come and kill everyone who did that. Then, I’ll go to your royal palace and kill every noble who got involved in the possible bullying, Vanedeni-style. They should know that Princess Valarith is involved in this, right? Well, to that end, you could consider Domitilla a Vanedeni. Did you get that?”

The two guards looked threateningly and didn’t answer.

“Whatever, I’ll just tell—what’s the Captain’s name again?” Joey resumed walking after shooting two [Light Lances] at the two guards. They were slightly blunted to avoid killing them both, but they both went down with several cracked ribs.

…

“What? Can you repeat the—what? I’m sure! Yeah! Yeah! The words! Can you repeat the words! What’s that?”

Joey had accumulated several dozens of followers while walking. He was now standing in front of the Watch, aiming one of his wands toward the huge building that almost resembled a small castle.

“Yeah! I know!” he kept shouting in his earpiece. Yep, earpieces were a thing when you knew how to enchant them.

He had downed several [Guards], but not before repeating his orders.

A stream of [Soldiers] and [Guards] was outside the Watch, squared in formations. At their head, the Captain.

“Yo! Captain! What’s your name, again?”

Joey couldn’t remember [Captain] Drussilus’s name.

“You are hereby declared a traitor of the Kingdom of Lucerna, Human! I’ll bring you down and put your head on—”

“What do you want me to say? By the might of Vanedenis? What? Can you raise the voice? I think I put this thing back upside down or something,” Joey fiddled with his ear with a pained expression on his face. “Oh! Better now! What? The Tax? Whatever, I’ll say it.”

Joey could feel several [Assassins] hidden all around and a lot of magic going around the Watch.

“Yo! Captain! Whatever your name is! Listen,” Joey cranked up the magic in his voice, “I hereby declare by the will of Princess Valarith, greatest warrior of the Vanedenis, that anyone who shall hurt anyone who was associated with me shall perish! They will be considered Vanedenis’ enemies until the end of the day! They will be hunted down as soon as we resolve the matters on Kome! Any act of bullying or harassment shall be punished with death! The Tax shall be paid in blood and tears of your family crying over your dead bodies! You shall suffer the same fate of [Archmage] Marcus and [Archmage]—what’s her name again? Whatever. You will incur Princess Valarith’s personal wrath. And she shall come personally if you do. But for now, a simple demonstration.”

Some among the Watch and [Soldiers] faltered. The news had been mostly covered up, but they knew that two [Archmages] had mysteriously died. And they surely didn’t want to face the person who killed them both.

Joey raised the wand that Princess Valarith had lent him and spoke some unintelligible words. Suddenly, the world lit up. Before anyone could say anything or try anything, the shield covering the Watch and all its wards exploded. Then, the entire Watch building got pulverized.

The shockwave severely injured multiple guards. Joey had his hat’s shields up, thankfully. Thankfully, every soldier had poured on the streets, and the building had been deserted. Otherwise, it would have been a slaughter.

“Now, a little gift from me,” the Human raised his hands in the hair and chanted for several seconds while blows started raining upon him from every side. But the protections on the Relic were too strong, and no truly high-leveled individual was present. Even [Captain] Drusillus wasn’t close to Joey’s level and even less so to the one man who created the hat the Human was wearing.

In the middle of the chaos, waiting for another crazy gesture, the Human disappeared. The crowd, confused, looked left and right until one new recruit of the Watch didn’t shout to the others.

“Look up!”

…

One day, maybe, the legend of Joey Luciani would spread far and wide. One day. But now, as a woman with confused memories came back to her family, the time of legends was still not upon him. He would go on to fight some of the greatest monsters in existence, forging alliances with crazy necromancers and even weirder characters. But not today.

Today was a day of sorrow. The Human, Joey Luciani, had lost friends and had to hide from the world. It was not the time to claim the world’s stage, yet. It was time to reflect, grow, forge new friendships, and face new adventures. And to enjoy life, to an extent.

And, as one Joey Luciani always does, he closed this arc of his life with one of his gifts.

For the moment, everyone in Amorium was stuck looking at the huge Rose that hung up above in the sky, while the best [Mages] in cities tried to dispel it with all they had, failing miserably. But it wasn’t the rose that they were scrambling to remove. It was the text just on the side of it. A message, perhaps. Or a taunt.

‘Big asses > Pointy Ears,’ that’s what it read.