Casual Heroing

“Can you refresh my memory? I don’t remember agreeing to any of this.”

The white Elf with a midlife crisis written all over her face, Amelia, is dragging Zahra, the Human black woman, by one arm while Alba and Anneus follow a few steps behind. I have to admit that for a guy with crutches, Anneus is quite fast.

“Oh, come on! We have to eat the green together!” Amelia says.

“What?”

“We have to eat together! It’s a tradition among Elves!”

“Tradition for what?”

“For when you meet new friends! It’s the law of hospitality, dummy! Didn’t your mom teach you?!”

God, please, stop me from arguing with this woman.

“I didn’t know that either,” Anneus says. “But if it’s truly a tradition, Gioeius, shouldn’t we all go to your place and eat something together? You wouldn’t mind, would you?”

“I actually have something to take care of—”

“Oh, don’t be silly!” Amelia immediately releases Zahra to make a clutch at her next prey, Alba. “We are all going! No one will be left behind! Come on, chop-chop! HA! I’ve brought up two male Elves. Do you think I can’t handle you just because you have longer ears? Come on, lady, let’s go!”

I mean, since I’m already accused of treason, couldn’t I just add a little murder on top of my counts? What difference would it really make?

That’s how we ended up walking to my place, a cozy apartment I bought with some of the money from my bag of holding. I asked Lord Juler and Princess Valarith to help me with a little ritual to pay for the rest of my expenses. I had never performed one, so it was more of an excuse to learn some cool magic. The fact that the royal treasure is now much lighter is just a side-effect, a little bonus, a sweet cherry on top. Learning is the real reward in life, of course.

“You live here?” I can hear Alba's slightly guttural voice from over my shoulder.

I look at the two-floor establishment I purchased thanks to some shenanigans and smile.

“Just my humble abode.”

“For all the rotted roots,” Anneus swears, “you must pay dozens of golds a week to stay here!”

More like several thousand to buy the place, but let’s keep that under the rug for now.

“Please,” I say while fiddling with a key in the hole. It’s just for show, though. The real lock is magical, and I had Lord Juler guide me through a complex enchantment for the whole place. It’s not a Tower, but it’s impenetrable unless you are very skilled. And most of all, there are so many enchantments to hide the magical signature and energy leaks that it must look like the most boring house in the city.

“Hello!” Amelia says, stomping inside, almost throwing me to the ground. “Hello, there!”

“No one’s home. I live alone.”

She suddenly turns to me, mouth wide-open.

“WHAT?!”

“Cool, right—”

“All alone in this big house?! You must be super-lonely!”

“I’m doing quite fine, to be honest—”

“Don’t worry! We’ll keep you company whenever you want! We can even study together! A study group!” Amelia is probably a few seconds shy of jumping up and down in excitement. I can see the impractical shine of a housewife who doesn’t know much about social events in her eyes.

“Wow! That’s a lot of food!” her eyes widen when she takes a better look at my living room.

I actually forgot about it.

The room is a huge mess – there are two couches with a coffee table in front of them and, on the other side, a dining table. On top of everything, you can find trays full of food, casseroles, and pans. Anything, really. It’s unreal.

“Yeah, I bake when I need to relax. I went a bit overboard.”

Thankfully, there are preservation runes all over the place. Otherwise, we would be talking about several dozens of pounds of food that would be rotting. Yeah, yeah. I know. I’ve gotten a bit neurotic while waiting for school. I didn’t exactly sleep much. What can I do about it? Thankfully enough, I have one of the spells that Lord Juler taught me.

[Induced Insomnia]

And tonight, I will pair it with a nice [Sleep].

All good, really.

“You cooked all of this?” Alba says while taking a few steps forward with her very long legs.

“Yeah. If you are hungry—”

“HELLO!”

I turn to find myself in front of what has to be the shortest Elf I’ve ever seen. He looks very young and is well-dressed. But, after working in a bakery for years, I can instantly recognize a famished person.

“Ahem! I meant salutations! I heard that a feast for students is taking place here, is that correct?”

“What?”

“Sure! Enter! Gioei is showing us his place. He said we could take all the food we wanted. I think I saw you at the ceremony! What’s your name?”

“Oh, a fair [Lady] is here, I see! My name is Marcellus!”

Jesus Almighty. Someone, please, throw me a lifeline here.

What is even happening?

“WOOF!”

Right, I forgot about that too.

A small dog comes running at full speed – a dog that is frowning and looking eager to bite me.

“Good evening, Princess!” I say to the dog, feeling a bit of sweat dripping down my back.

“Oh! This dog is so cute—”

Princess Bianca, my Wallorian Treasurer, currently under disguise to appear like a dog, jumps up with all her strength and kicks Amelia right in the chest. The poor woman instantly tumbles to the ground, and Princess Bianca lands in my arms.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Princess Bianca is very touchy—ouch! I meant; she’s reserved. And she doesn’t like when strangers address her too—er, loudly?”

“Princess?” Anneus snorts. “That’s just—”

“I wouldn’t say that if I were you,” I say while turning cautiously.

Princess Bianca is already giving the stink eye to both Amelia and Anneus. But when she sees Alba, she freezes for a second. She sniffs the air and jumps out of my arms, weirdly enough. She loves being carried, the spoiled little brat. My sole companion quickly sniffs Alba’s legs before snorting.

“This dog is weird,” Alba says, clearly uncomfortable with Princess’s antics.

“She’s royalty,” I say with a sigh. “Treat her accordingly. Also, Amelia, please, don’t do that.”

Amelia was clearly on the verge of sneaking in on Princess Bianca to pick her up. I’m not sure I’ve ever told you this, but Wallorian Treasurers have really strong jaws. Once she becomes an adult, she will be able to burrow through magic mineral veins. Yeah.

Princess Bianca slowly turns to the bashful Amelia with a baleful aura around her, pure death in her eyes.

“Come on, Princess,” I plead.

The woofs — squeals, yeah, squeals, really – that’s magic at work, converting the sound into a more appropriate one for the animal. It’s all Princess Valarith’s work. Even she was surprised to see a Wallorian Treasurer in our current age. And she apparently ‘likes me a lot.’ Gee, I wouldn’t want to know what it feels like not to be liked by my little pig.

But seeing how Princess Bianca looks interested in eating up one of Amelia’s limbs, I’ll probably find out soon.

“Princess!” I order with a stern voice. “What have we discussed! Behave like a good dog!”

She looks at me with narrowed eyes, but she scampers off to her couch, although not before an eye-roll. Yeah, her couch. The division of things in this house has already started.

“What a gentle and smart animal,” says the guy I’ve totally forgotten about.

I ignore everyone for a second and plop on the couch. The lack of sleep is finally having some effect on me.

“Eat all you want. I doubt you can finish it all. If you want, you can even take some home. I’ll probably bake more later. Some of the long bread is better eaten with meat. You can find some in the cupboard with the glass pane, and there are plates right beside it.”

I start chilling on the couch with my eyes closed – a little nap. However, the spell won’t let me fall asleep for another few hours. Well, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to socialize with these people a little. I’ve come so far to know people. Maybe I’ll even make some new friends. I’m still lukewarm about that after the debacle. A part of me refuses to acknowledge what had happened and to accept that, for once, my expectations might have been set too high.

“So, Amelia. What’s up with you? How come you want to become a [Mage]?”

Suddenly, the woman freezes. She was snooping around my house when an innocent question stopped her dead in her tracks. I’m not clear why she would react like that, but there’s clearly something more below the shallow surface.

“I just have a lot of free time on my hands since my boys are always out. And my husband died a while ago, so… I’m mostly here to spend my time productively. My job as a [Caretaker] was a bit boring, and they always told me my talent for magic was good.”

“That’s cool,” I nod. I also feel a twinge of guilt in my guts. I should be less of an asshole to this poor woman. She is probably very lonely, isn’t she?

“What about you, Zahra? Where are you from?”

Zahra, unlike Amelia, has remained stationary for the most part. And, I’ve noticed, close to the door.

“I was a soldier. I come from Sobek.”

Laconic, huh? She is definitely running for Lucillus’s position—no. Let’s not frame things like that. I don’t want to dwell on the past. Whatever happened, happened, and I can’t change it. These are different people with different stories. I shall not be unfair just because I’m not satisfied with what happened in the past.

“Sobek?”

“The continent of rivers,” Alba murmurs.

“The what?”

“You don’t know Sobek.”

Zahra’s words do not pose a question. Now, she is looking at me with more interest compared to before.

“I’m not big on geography,” I smile.

“Six big continents all around – Sobek is known for its rivers, Epretos for our towns. Teiko has the big bad Humans, Foresta the illusions. Carilia has all the different masses, but Kome has the ground-gashes,” Amelia says in a chopped-off nursery rhyme.

“Huh.”

“Didn’t they teach you the rhyme when you were little?” Amelia asks, confused.

“Meh, I had a particular upbringing. I spent most of my time abroad. Weird stuff. My family is in the [Merchant] business, you know? My education has spots all over.”

“Does it?” Zahra is now looking at me with even more interest.

Did she pick up on something? Is she suspicious? Are all people on Sobek black?

“These refreshments are of the highest quality,” Marcellus says while stuffing his mouth and probably risking suffocating himself with every chomp.

“You don’t have many personal objects,” Anneus says while shuffling around with his crutches.

“Heh, I’ve moved here very recently. And my parents have taught me to travel light. You don’t want things you can’t sell in your bag of holding, you know?”

“But you still cook enough for dozens of people. And nothing to remember them by?” Anneus ask while looking at a preservation rune I’ve drawn myself.

“Not really.”

“This rune is… very well made. Who drew it for you?”

“I did it.”

“Liar,” Anneus doesn’t even look back.

“Prick,” I reply with a smile.

This time, he turns back with a frown.

“Did you really draw that? A preservation rune is like a tier-three spell. But we aren’t even proper first-year students yet.”

“Some people come to the academy having already studied a lot of magic,” Alba intercepts. “I’ve studied it myself. I could draw some basic runes. Nothing like a preservation one, but I could draw some heating ones.”

“And you seemed very good at [Telekinesis] or whatever space movement and displacement you were doing at the ceremony,” I say to Anneus, hoping to change the topic.

“Well,” he returns to the rune and doesn’t finish the sentence.

“Anyway, about the study group thing,” I say.