Casual Heroing

Sometimes I find myself thinking about what people want, how their lives should turn out. I remember, from when I was a child, people saying that their crush would one day be their wife, that they would marry, and live happily ever after. It’s silly. Or we think it is until we realize it’s what happens to each and everyone of us, day in and day out.

Some people play a major role in our lives for a few hours, days, maybe months – hell, it could be years! But then, they disappear. They fade into the background to never return again. Or maybe they come back, but are detached, not part of the main story anymore. They return like little dregs of the past, little pieces of melancholia that should remind us to look forward, never backwards. This would be grounds for a great pun, I’m sure — like when ‘behind’ is mentioned in the presence of a seven years old.

When I look back at all the women I’ve canoodled with – or that I could have canoodled with, an important addendum – I wonder what made them disappear from my life so fast. How does it happen that one day someone slips away, just like that.

Do you know who I’m talking about?

Yeah, it’s a Princess and not the one that walks on four legs—as far as I know.

What happened there? For real, I would love it if my brain could suddenly come up with an explanation for what the hell just happened in my life. I mean, I did live a couple of relationships á-la-gossip girl. But then, shouldn’t I learn at some point? Shouldn’t it get to me that maybe finding stability is better than proposing marriage to a [Princess] just because it sounds fun?

And don’t get me wrong, Laura is definitely quite the looker and the brain. Once you go beyond the genocidal intentions that she carries in her back-pocket, she’s a very smart woman. Rarely do I find myself connecting intellectually with someone like I did with her. But still, couldn’t I just stop living in my head? I mean, couldn’t my head stop projecting all these fairy tales and bookish, fictional scenarios where I do something absurd and it ends well?

Look, it took a [Professor] job to start living normally again. The most boring of things to become a person, to reinstate the illusion of sanity. Isn’t life wonderful, huh? You go and do all that weird stuff, get powerful, and then your mental health slowly deteriorates. That’s why they made up boring jobs, I guess.

Now, the question is, ‘would the same happen if I chose to pursue a greater path on Earth?’ Like, what was I actually doing wrong? What should I do better in the future? Am I doomed not to be able to ramp it up ad libitum? Or should I just alternate high intensity craziness with some stability? Is it about the support net? Is it about exercising three times a week?

What’s the secret of living life in a way that you can casually hero around?

And who decided that heroine should be called ‘horse’ in slang? And what about heroines, as in fictional female characters that do heroic stuff. How do they contend in popularity with a drug that you can just inject in your arm and be happy?

I pull out a cigar and bite into it gently before cutting it.

I take in the earthy flavor, the spices that seem to have been mixed in it — or whatever fragrance is in it.

I look down at the table and raise my eyes to the clock on the wall. I have a lesson in a few hours. For the first time in a long while, I have slept like a baby. My head just hit the pillow and boom, done. And since we do not have any lessons in the morning today, I didn’t worry too much. I woke up naturally and started working on the [Teleport] spell.

When you look at a [Fireball]’s spell matrix, you can still make out the individual components, at least at my level of understanding. [Advanced Mana Sense] means I can see almost everything. But [Teleport], even in its simplest form, is an insanely complicated spell. And, apparently, there are multiple versions of it; this means that you can achieve the same result with completely different spells.

From what Lord Juler told me, it will take a while for me to master this spell. He said he would be supremely surprised if I managed to learn it in any decent amount of time. The fact that the book is not giving me much homework and letting me do my things, however, means that the Omnium Compendium seems to know that I’m keeping up with my studies. This artifact is so damn weird, I swear.

Anyway, a [Fireball] matrix is readable. There’s the propulsion mechanism, the transmutation to fire. Then, the bindings for the shape and something that unravels the bindings and lets the [Fireball] explode. That’s pretty much it. it’s still fairly complicated since [Fireball] is a tier—what tier is it, again? Two? Three? I’d like to say two based on some other matrixes I know, but whatever.

“This stupid spell is too complicated.”

I can’t even visualize the [Teleport] spell. It’s too many moving parts. My brain just lags or crashes or whatever a computer does when it doesn’t have enough processing power.

“You might want to anchor some parts of the spell, meh, meh, meh,” I imitate Lord Juler’s voice.

But the old goat is right. This spell is beyond me. Even if my level is very high and I’m extremely specialized. Light Magic? Hell, I can fry your brain with it. Anything else? I still do not have the [Telekinesis] skill. How is that even possible, huh?

I hear a tap and I turn to the window in my room.

A cloaked man waves at me.

“Wait a second,” I tell the guy, starting to deactivate the protection wards against assassins — all Valarith’s work, yeah. But I can at least switch them on and off. Just by studying these wards I could probably become a much better [Mage]. Imagine what Lucinda is learning, right?

No, wrong.

But I don’t feel like explaining it since Robin is still tapping on the stupid window.

“Yeah, yeah, come in,” I tell the guy with a sigh. “Don’t Elves use mailboxes? Can’t you just drop the stuff somewhere and I pick it up later?”

“Someone is nervous,” the man with Vanedeni blood says, “but no. Sensitive reports and intelligence should always be handed over in person.”

“And the boss of the—what’s the name of your people again?”

“Fellows of the Ring,” Robin raises a hand heavy with rings to accompany his response.

I snort.

“Yeah, those. Why is the boss here? Can’t send one of your goons?”

“I wanted to meet the new [Professor] of the Nine Towers Academy who had all the nobles in this kingdom bite their tongues after his academic coronation. And I hear that [Archmages] will be present at today’s lesson too.”

I shouldn’t be surprised that this man knows all this stuff, but it still has an effect on me.

“Are you any good at hand-to-hand fighting?”

“That’s the kind of information you would have to pay a lot of money to get,” Robin smiles.

“I need someone to spar with,” I say while looking back at the diagram on my table and yawning. “Should I go to the Adventurers’ guild or do you have other recommendations?”

Robin drops the jovial attitude to turn back to his usual business demeanor.

“There are some hand-to-hand experts here, but nowhere near the amount you would find in the capital. The Adventurers’ Guild is not good. I can provide you with a list of potential candidates willing to spend some time fighting with you. Do you have a weapon of choice?”

[Light Lance]

While I bring a hand to my mouth to quench a yawn, I materialize a [Light Lance] in my right hand.

“This?”

“Magical mixed with physical,” the man frowns for a second. “There might be someone, but I advise against it.”

“Just do it,” I say while making the lance disappear. “I need some fighting experience. Next time I face someone, I don’t want to be sitting ducks.”

I could spar in my head with Lord Juler until not too long ago, but that’s not an option anymore. I could ask him to let me practice a spell to continue that weird mental-sparring-shadow-boxing thingy, but I think that some hand-on experience might be best.

Robin sighs and nods.

“Have you upset anyone in the underworld? Many probes have gone out for your name even before Ariostus presented you to the academy.”

“I don’t think so?”

“Someone with great leverage and unknown even to me has been gathering information on you. Including where you live and what kind of protections your house has. It’s standard for anyone in this business, but the fact that I can’t trace it back to the source worries me.”

“Wait a second,” I say with a frown. “Maybe—nah, it can’t be.”

…

I look at the field where I asked to practice. It’s similar to the arena where I fought my duels, but mainly used for practical lessons. Now, the reason I asked to hold my lessons here is that I foresaw many people coming and I didn’t want to overcrowd my classroom.

But what I’m looking at is barely half the people that were usually in the Advanced Cantrips class.

What the hell is going on?

Ariostus, who’s come with many other professors, comes to greet me while people start forming little groups.

“Some families are pulling their students from the academy because of you. There’s been talks of even disbanding the Nine Towers Academy.”

“Haters gonna hate,” I yawn, looking at my audience and walking forward.

I even spot [Archmage] Titus hovering in the air and I wave a hand in his direction. The Elf is so kind to nodslightlyinreturn.

Sometimes I wish I could throw rotten tomatoes at people. But well, it is what it is, isn’t it?

“So,” I clap my hands and slightly enhance my voice to reach everyone.

[Advanced Mana Sense]

“First lesson of the real Advanced Cantrips. There have been some dropouts who think that I can’t teach or that admitting me is a shame or whatever. Dude, imagine how stupid that is. So, first lesson of the first lesson is, ‘A future [Archmage] shouldn’t be an idiot.’ Even if you absolutely hate me, just stay for the first few lessons. Why? Because if I’m the real deal, you’ve just missed out on real magic because of racism. Speciesism. Whatever. We have [Archmages] among us,” I say pointing at Titus and a few other spots in the air.

“Some of them are using [Invisibility] and wards to avoid detection because they are ashamed of being here. But… they are still here, aren’t they? So, the question is, if [Archmages] gave this a shot, why shouldn’t a bunch of hormonal teenagers too?”

I take out a cigar and a chair from my bag of holding. I’m not doing this standing, people. And also, I can’t smoke cigars around bakery products. So, I have to compensate for that.

“So, that’s the first thing to keep in mind. The right attitude toward magic is as important as magic itself. I was beaten blue when I was learning the stuff that I’m going to teach you. If I skipped practice, I risked dying. I barely managed to get through all the exercises my master gave me. And I had a deadline. So, to make things interesting, you will have a deadline as well.”

I look at the host of professors and the [Dean] when something comes to my mind, and I gesture at Ariostus to come closer to me. The man frowns and looks around before stomping his way up to me.

“Yo, do we have semesters? Like, how long is a school—session? Six months? Eight months? What do you do here? When are the final exams?” I say after deactivating the enhanced voice for a second.

“Year-long,” the man replies, confused.

“Oh, cool. But they have midterms to keep studying here, don’t they? Mh.”

“So!” I reactivate the voice enhancement, “I’ll give you three months to master the first twenty-three Cantrips properly. We’ll take it from there when you manage to do so.”