Casual Heroing

Well, that was a day I had yesterday.

Today, though, I don’t really know what to do besides going to the bakery and work. I don’t know anyone save for my bodyguards, who are now on break, and my co-workers.

I should probably go out and get to know some more people. However, I’m not good at that, as I mentioned in the past. I’m good after you introduce yourself to me, not before. I don’t have any trust in going out and making friends out of the blue.

What I can do, however, is check out how things are going at the bakery.

I’ve had enough magic for today.

I open my door and I find myself looking at a statuesque Elf.

Oh shoot.

“Howdy do,” I say with a smile toward Lucinda’s guy-friend.

“Are you the human Lucinda’s helping with his case?” he asks with a neutral expression.

Oh man, please don’t kill me. Or don’t beat me. This face is too cute to take a beating.

“The one and only,” I reply cheerily.

“She’s studying your case and she told me she doesn’t have time for me.”

Here we go.

Is he going to vaporize me or something? What do nasty [Mages] do to kill each other?

While I think about the terrible ways I could die by his hands, the unthinkable happens.

I find myself among a strong and tight hug.

“If you are going to kill me, can we skip the cuddles?” I plead.

“What? Kill you? Are you out of your mind?” he grabs my arms and looks at me horrified. “You finally got that girl’s head out of the spellbooks! I’ll be eternally grateful to you! I’ve known Lucinda for a while, and she’s been so obsessed with magic she can barely talk about anything else! But since you came here, she’s talked quite a bit about you.”

Okay, wait a second.

What is happening here?

And why is big-guy still hugging me?

“Uhm, you are… welcome?”

“Come with me, friend, I’m Augustus, and I need to show you a good time!” he basically drags me out of my apartment.

That’s how I find myself walking next to Augustus, who’s apparently not Lucinda’s love interest.

Did I tear up over this guy?

“Yeah, I’m a student at the Nine Towers Academy. I’m here on behalf of my master to take care of some properties. It’s going to take a couple of weeks at least. I’ve known Lucinda for a long time; she lived close-by and we would play together as children.”

I’m not sure I like the overpowered-childhood-friend angle more than the douchey-overpowered-bastard.

“So, wait a second,” I ask while he steers me toward some restaurant, “are you telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Lucinda?”

For God’s sake, he goes pale when he hears my words.

“Oh no! Absolutely not! Lucinda’s like a little sister! I could never do something like that!”

One the one hand, I’m overjoyed. On the other, I kind of feel like after my emotional turmoil, this guy has just stripped me of an eventual vengeance arc.

“And, between us, I’m not opposed to her mingling with other races. It would help her expand her horizons a little. I have a girlfriend at the Nine Towers, and she’s not an Elf,” he says with a sneaky grin, “and neither a Human.”

Ok, listen, it’s time to drop the guard a little and exchange pointers with this fellow. If he’s on my side, I swear I’m going to tattoo ‘Elf-Lover’ on my forearm.

“So, brother, are you telling me that I’m looking at an ally in this war of hearts and wits?” I ask surreptitiously.

“Oh, it depends on whether or not you pass my personal test,” the man wiggles his eyebrows at me.

“As long as I don’t have to do anything with a male Elf, I’ll do whatever you ask me to do. I need some more intel on Lucinda. I’m too much in the dark right now to make any good move.”

“Well, Joey, I’ve heard quite a few interesting things about you. The fact that you seem to be a very proficient [Baker] is one of those. And the fact that you didn’t have a class when first coming here is another. Your landlady almost beat me up when I asked where you lived; she seems very protective of you. And [Chef] Clodia too seems taken with your ways as well.”

Ha.

The cruel scrooge tried to defend me from this guy? I love that woman, I swear.

We sit inside a nice restaurant, ready to have a sumptuous breakfast. The place is mostly decorated in white with some china you wouldn’t expect in a medieval joint.

“The usual, please, for two,” Augustus orders for us both and I give a shrug. I’m not an expert on Elven cuisine and the guy doesn’t seem keen on poisoning me.

“But I have to ask, what’s your business in Amorium?” Augustus gives me an intense stare.

To be honest, I don’t know.

What was my business in NYC?

I think about it for a second.

“I’d like to get a nice job, open my own shop. Buy a new cat. Make a few friends. Find a decent wife,” I stare at the ceiling for a moment before nodding, “yeah, that’s pretty much my list.”

“No plans to become a very powerful [Mage], travel the world, become a strong adventurer and find riches that—”

“Oh, man, absolutely not! I’m here for a long time, not a good one. I’m happy with a simple routine and a nice family.”

Augustus stares at me, surprised by my answer.

I bet you that in a world of magic and adventurers, few people actually don’t want to risk their life, do they?

“That’s… interesting,” Augustus smiles and starts nodding.