Casual Heroing

“Why is it called the ‘Day of Ancestors’? Shouldn’t it be ‘Ancestors’ Day’ or something? You don’t say ‘Day of Thanksgiving’, but ‘Thanksgiving Day’. I’m confused. And even then, why not ‘Day of the Ancestors’ or is it because it’s not about any particular ancestors? Is it about all ancestors? And which ancestors are we talking about, anyway?”

They are, at least in my opinion, good questions.

Few of my spectators seem to agree.

“Can I throw him out?” Agostina asks her sister.

“Oh, come on, Agostina. The poor boy didn’t know that it was our holiday. And we are meant to celebrate by sharing food with the people we love and with those who don’t have anyone to share it with.”

That’s Agostina’s sister, her complete opposite on the inside. On the outside, though, they pretty much look the same. And Agostina’s niece was so hot that—

“Aunt, Joey seems sweet. Let him be. He just came to Amorium and he’s already the most wanted baker in the city, isn’t he?”

Agostina grumbles something while serving some food.

I look with interest at some kind of jelly made of… fruits?

There’s also an awful lot of fermented stuff, fruits of all kinds. Stuff I’ve never seen before. I should probably start learning about it.

But today’s a holiday, so…

“Tell me, boy, how can you be such a marvelous baker and have no levels in the [Baker] class?”

That’s Agostina’s sister, Julia.

“Oh, I just happen to know a few recipes that are not common knowledge. That’s all. Happy Bakery and Three Roses are both interested in those more than me.”

I’m not even being modest; I just think that’s the truth.

“But I’m more interested in knowing about this holiday, if you don’t mind me asking.”

Domitilla, the hot niece, starts explaining.

“Elves are said to be descendants of immortal warriors who had the highest magical aptitude compared to any other race. They say they had fought a terrible battle against the Eaters.”

Eaters?

“What’s an Eater?” I look around and find serious eyes all around me.

“They have many names. But they are commonly referred to as Eaters. They are an extinct race that used to dominate the world.”

I fully expect someone to suddenly burst out laughing while I start laughing myself.

World-domination? Come on, this must be a joke, right?

“They could eat levels and classes too, if our tales are to be believed.”

I feel every orifice in my body clench and the smile is washed off my face.

“What did they look like—”

“Joey,” Agostina interrupted the conversation, “talking about these creatures during the Day of Ancestors is disrespectful. Domitilla, the same goes for you. This is a celebration of our heritage, not a memorial of those disgusting monsters.”

I shrug and, after a moment of awkward silence, I try to get the conversation going again.

“So, Julia, what do you do for a living?” I ask with a bright smile.

The woman is a little younger than Agostina and she looks much more cheerful too. One must have been raised among wolves and the other among doves or something.

“I work in the Adventurers’ Guild. I’m the [Treasurer] of this branch, to be precise. Truth be told, though, I’m basically a glorified [Accountant] for those knuckleheads.”

Adventurers.

“My knowledge of adventuring is— how can I put it — it’s barely there. Would you mind explaining to me what an adventurer does?”

Everyone stares at me like I’m the biggest dumb-dumb in the entire world. Well, this knowledge is probably very common. I don’t blame them.

Julia looks at Agostina, searching for an answer.

“I don’t know. He probably lived in a cult or something. He came here without levels, with a spellbook, and lots of recipes. He actually may not know what an adventurer does.”

“Well, Joey,” Julia smiles at me sympathetically, probably thinking I’m a poor bastard who just got out of a really badlife experience. And if you consider my family and my dating history, she’s not too far from the truth. “An adventurer goes on quests. We have a board at the guild where people put requests. The easiest stuff is delivering parcels across the city or maybe just getting rid of a few small rats or roaches. That’s for the newbies who still don’t have a rank. As soon as you are evaluated as fit enough to fight actual threats, you get bumped up to a Bronze. Bronzies kill minor monsters, deliver stuff between cities, and so on. Sometimes, if they are in a group, they can delve into Dungeons.”

Holy molly, Elves and Dungeons. This goddamn world…

“When they show they can handle themselves, they are bumped up to Silver. Silvies are tougher, much tougher than Bronzies. They can properly delve in group—right, most adventurers form groups in order to complement each other’s classes and skills. After Silver, there’s Gold. Few people ever make it to Gold; that’s mostly because people die at Silver. See, Bronze rank is where most threats can hurt you, but hardly kill you. At Silver, there’s a very large range of threats. Some of the upper crust require multiple teams and will most likely kill troves of adventurers.”

My face is twisted in a pained expression.

Why would anyone risk their life like that? What’s the point?

“If you are learning some real magic and Agostina is helping you, you might consider getting a newbie badge and becoming a regular adventurer. What do you say?”

I’m sure Julia has the best intentions while offering me such a thing. However, I think she just forgot I’m a baker, and a good one at that. Plus, I would never put my life at risk for some fame or whatever.

“Girls go nuts for adventurers,” the super-hot Domitilla says casually.

Shoot.

Do I have to become an adventurer now?