Casual Heroing

“Joey!” Lucinda barges into the room where the Captain has made his mission of trying to poke a hole in my head with his staring.

“What happened, Captain?” she asks concerned.

Hehe.

She’s concerned about me.

Hehe.

I smile wider than the Cheshire cat and relish the feeling.

What is getting a little stabby-stab if a woman gushes all over you like this?

“He requested someone to help him navigate the Watch interview,” Captain Drusillus explains without skipping a beat, “and he asked for you since you are helping him with his personal business, Officer.”

As soon as she hears her title, she straightens up.

“I’m sorry, Captain, I—”

“Save it,” the tall Elf cuts right into her words like a red-hot knife through butter, “let’s get this done before I lose more time on this matter.”

Drusillus takes some sheets made of something that looks like paper and rusted leaves and starts recounting the events.

“Three civilians testified to finding Joey Luciani, the Human in the room, bleeding out on the street. One of them ran to the nearest Watch Post and immediately asked for help. Anneus the [Blacksmith] had his furnace running and some experience in the army; therefore, he immediately used a hot-iron to cauterize the poisoned wound. That probably burned up most of the poison and the healing potions did the rest. Luciani was safely carried to the Watch infirmary for further evaluation by a [Healer]. The guards also found five [Thugs] and one [Gang Leader] on the ground, all identified as the ones who assaulted Luciani.”

The Captain turned the page.

“Leaving some details aside, it appears that some other [Thugs] stabbed Luciani but instantly fled the scene as soon as the civilians noticed what was happening. Three people were reported fleeing the scene.”

Man, where had those people come from? I was pretty sure I had downed the bastards.

“From early reconstructions of the events, it appears that Luciani used some artifact or wand to blast the [Thugs] and the [Gang Leader] with a [Bolt] spell of some kind. Given the blunt damage, we believe it to be [Forcebolt]. Four [Thugs] reported several fractured ribs and some minor organ damage; they were all treated with the standard potions issued to [Guards]. We suspect Luciani may have had someone helping him since his low level and weak fitness do not justify the scene we came onto. No Humans were reported fleeing the scene, though. Plus, given the report of Mana exhaustion that Luciani is suffering from, we suspect he might have actually used his own magic instead of an artifact. Nothing was found on him. No money, no artifacts.”

“Well, I’m broke,” I flash a wink at the Captain who looks at me in a way that would put the wink back in my skull if that was possible.

“So, we have to clear up whether Joey used dangerous means to hurt those people, initiated it, and whether he had people with him. Plus, if we find out that he’s a member of some gang or a weird cult, we will hold him indefinitely until we make sure he’s not a threat to the public.”

Can I say something extremely bad?

I mean, yes, I can, obviously.

But should I?

Should I say what every depraved man with a sick mind like mine is now thinking?

Am I a bad boy or not?

Look at those things! It makes me sound totally badass! Not that I would ever do it again, but I bet that Lucinda’s definitely got the hots for me now if she didn’t before!

Aren’t bad guys the bread and butter of hot girls?

To answer the question truthfully, not really. But you know, it’s a cliché I don’t mind using to boost my own confidence.

“So, Luciani, care to answer now that you got your baby-sitter here?” Captain Drusillus looks at me.

“Should I answer those questions?” I ask Lucinda with what looks like a cool smile in my head and probably looks like a barf-moustached-grin in her eyes.

She looks at me with a confused expression on her face.

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll stop you if you go off-topic,” she says.

Well, evidently their law system doesn’t really work like ours. No surprise there. Calling Lucinda was just an excuse to see her.

The fact that she reacted so strongly to me being injured means that she cares, I think.

I hope, at least.

“Well, I had no one helping me. That’s for sure.”

Captain Drusillus looks at the truth stone he just fished out of his pocket and nods. This one looks slightly different from the others. Where others had shown a slightly green hue, this one pulses with a stronger and deeper light. If I have to guess, it’s probably a superior version of a truth stone.

“Well, Luciani, do you belong to any gang or cult?” he asks me.

“Nope. I’m all by myself.”

The truth stone flashes yellow.

Huh.

I look at Lucinda and I realize that my wording had been ambiguous.

“I mean, I belong to no cult or gang.”

This time it’s green.

“How did you manage to down those [Thugs] if you are so weak?” Captain Drusillus hunches over my bed and gives me a death-stare.

“Captain, I believe that’s his personal business. The question is not directly relevant to the investigation. Would you mind reformulating it?” Lucinda cuts him off.

Oh, my angel. My sweet, sweet power-hungry angel.

“Sure,” the Captain appears unfazed, “Luciani, do you have any dangerous spells or artifacts?”

“Captain, that’s a very broad question. Please be more precise if you want Joey to answer.”

Lucinda comes to my rescue before I can even open my mouth.

The Captain shoots a stare at her, probably thinking of her actions as a betrayal.

“Luciani, do you have any magic considered prohibited, banned, or outright evil on you? And if not, do you have any artifact that could pose a large threat to the public?”

“I own no dangerous spell nor have I used anything like that. I also have no artifacts, Captain. I’m broke. Like, really broke. If people don’t bring me food or stuff, I’d literally starve.”

The truth stone flashes green three times.

“Did you initiate the altercation?”

“Nope, they attacked me because I’m a human.”

Green, again.

That’s easy.

I could do this all day—

Oh no, don’t think—

“Well, Luciani, last question before you are allowed to go.” The Captain grins at me. It’s the first time he has smiled since he’s been here and it’s outright terrifying. “Are you and Officer Lucinda involved in any way that would compromise her judgment and make her betray the Watch to guard your ass?”

Huh.

Involved?

Well…