017—Empress Dowager Gou’s Sorrow

Empress Dowager tightly held onto his hands. Xuan Cheng watched as her lips trembled, as if she wanted to tell him something, but in the end she remained silent.

Perhaps it was because through all these years, Former Qin’s Yangping Duke had hated this woman with all his heart. Through the long days and nights, he had refused to speak a single word to her.

The imperial throne was an alluring position. Many were willing to stain their hands with the blood of their own brothers in order to obtain it.

But no matter what, Xuan Cheng did not believe that Fu Jian was cruel enough to do this. He believed that Fu Jian had been forced to the end of his rope, left with little other choice.

Yes, Fu Jian was an ambitious man. He could not let Fu Sheng’s tyranny destroy the empire, so he had deposed the despot and usurped the throne.

But to kill his brother was something only the most vicious could do. Fu Jian was unable to kill Fu Fa, someone he looked up to as his respected Elder Brother.

However, Empress Dowager Gou could. She could find any reason to accuse Fu Fa of being treacherous and order his death. Fu Fa needed to die in order to cement Fu Jian’s position as Emperor; he was not Empress Dowager Gou’s blood-related son.

Xuan Cheng looked her in the eyes, quietly saying, “Empress Dowager.”

Empress Dowager Gou’s tears continued to spill out of her eyes. However, her voice was hurt when she responded, “Son, why aren’t you still willing to call me Mother?”

“Empress Dowager,” Fu Jian consoled her. “Younger Brother isn’t doing it intentionally.”

Fu Jian held Empress Dowager’s hand with one hand, and grabbed Xuan Cheng’s wrist with the other. “Younger Brother, you just told me that you were visiting the Imperial Palace this time to see the Empress Dowager, right?”

His voice was kind and gentle as he spoke.

But Xuan Cheng felt that those words sounded more like an interrogation.

He was caught in a corner with no retreat. Fu Jian’s kindness had smashed any form of resistance he had left in his heart.

He could not remain silent any longer. No matter how vicious this woman was, no matter how many virtuous people she had murdered, she was now only a widow. A lonely, aged widow hidden deep in the recesses of the Imperial Palace.

Xuan Cheng said, “Mother.”

Empress Dowager’s eyes stared blankly at him. Suddenly, her entire face seemed to tremble with excitement. The light in her eyes brightened, mixing with the tears that fell onto her cheeks.

“Son, son!”

Fu Jian smiled gently, his expression like the gentle peach blossoms billowing in the wind.

“Mother, I’m not blaming you,” Xuan Cheng said without conviction. Or perhaps “without conviction” were the wrong words—there were words he wanted to say to her, but they felt too abrupt at the moment. “I just don’t understand why you wanted to murder Elder Brother Ah Fa. He was so wise, so popular with the people, so dedicated to the empire, so loyal to Elder Brother, so why did you…”

“Son, you don’t understand,” Empress Dowager said warmly. “You are only looking at Ah Fa’s good qualities. But no matter how virtuous he was, the people who served him did not support your Elder Brother Wenyu¹ in the same way. A human’s heart is hard to fathom. Everyone wants to crawl to the top, where power will corrupt them and err them from the correct path. Ah Fa may have vowed loyalty, but Fu Sheng’s defeat was still fresh. There was a need for a new ruler. As long as someone has support, they can rise to the top and become the Emperor. Ah Fa’s subordinates would have eventually pushed him to oppose your Elder Brother Wenyu. Therefore, as long as Ah Fa died, your Elder Brother Wenyu could safely ascend to the throne.”

Xuan Cheng did not dare to refute anything. What Empress Dowager Gou said was correct. She was Fu Jian’s mother, so every action she made would have been for the sake of her son. Even if history cursed and reviled her, even if she bore this vicious and merciless reputation for the rest of her life, she would have no regrets in the end.

Fu Fa had done no wrong, but the world they lived in was imperfect. The kingdom they lived in was split between the agricultural, civilized tribes and the nomadic peoples. The nomads were all barbarians, and followed the wishes of their own will. If they had chosen to support Fu Fa, Fu Jian’s reign would have been short-lived.

Empress Dowager Gou’s eyes were heavy set with wrinkles, and her hair was white and grizzled. There were only a few strands of black left. Xuan Cheng did not dare to look at her for too long. This was a woman that had lost all her former glory. In front of him, she seemed to be a strange and solitary figure.

In the end, they had come from two different worlds.

Xuan Cheng muttered to himself, “But no matter what, you didn’t have to kill him. He was still our Elder Brother.”

Fu Jian furrowed his brows, as if trying to urge him not to speak. However, Empress Dowager Gou had still heard his words. Her face became extremely sorrowful, and her voice choked with emotion as she spoke.

“Son, this matter was all this widow²’s fault. I… I…”

Her voice suddenly seemed to sink into silence.

Fu Jian cradled her hand. He leaned to her ear, lowly whispering, “Younger Brother isn’t blaming you. Don’t be so sad.”

Empress Dowager Gou’s eyes filled with bitter humor. “Of course, he isn’t blaming this widow. It’s this widow blaming herself.”

Suddenly, she seemed to be grieved by another thought. “Then, if you don’t blame this widow, then why haven’t you visited the palace for so many years?”

“Son, have you still not forgiven me?”

This sentence was said with extreme desolation. Her old, frail body seemed to be weighed down with despair.

However, Xuan Cheng could not give an answer.

¹Fu Jian’s courtesy name is Wenyu (文玉), which can be roughly translated to “Scholarly Jade”.
²Empress Dowager Gou refers to herself as āijiā (哀家), which is a pronoun reserved solely for widowed empresses.