54 – Another piece of sincerity
That’s what I said, but there was no way I could leave the two of them talking and go see Yerin comfortably.
Although I knew it was a bit of a gloomy move, I opened the door just a little, really just a little so I couldn’t see from the inside, and stood in the hallway and listened. It was fortunate that there were no people passing by.
The conversation between the boss and Park Si-yoon started off well. All I did was ask what my relationship was like and Park Si-yoon responded.
It was somewhat expected that the boss was mistaken in thinking that Park Si-yoon was my boyfriend, but it didn’t make me any less embarrassed. But if you ask her if she was in a bad mood, she wasn’t.
– If that’s the case, you don’t have to worry. I don’t want to be a hindrance to a friend I’ve been with for at least 19 years.
Then, the moment I heard Park Si-yoon’s words to reassure the boss, it felt as if my quiet heart sank with a heavy sound.
‘Obstruction’. Park Si-yoon, to me, did he think of himself that way? Or was he just using it as a metaphor to explain why he doesn’t see me as a woman?
Either way, it wasn’t a very pleasant word to hear. No, to put it bluntly, it was very unpleasant.
– It’s an obstacle…. Because Yuna is an idol trainee?
There was no answer to the boss’s subsequent question, but in my mind, I pictured Park Si-yoon nodding her head across from me.
After that, nothing came to my ears for a while. When I came to my senses, the story seemed to be ending on the other side.
– Do you have anything else to say to me? Still, he is the one who protected our artist. If you have anything to ask, please let me know. If it’s not difficult, I’ll listen.
The moment the boss said those words, she inadvertently remembered what she had heard from Park Si-yoon before coming to the company. What she meant was that she wanted to ask the boss something.
– … This may be a difficult request, but is it okay?
– hahahaha, I’m going to get my money’s worth, right? Yes, it’s okay even if it’s difficult, so just say something.
What on earth is that request? The thorns that had surrounded my mind just a moment ago disappeared for a moment, and only questions remained in my mind.
– I know that a lot of articles related to Han Yuna have appeared due to an incident not long ago.
– That’s right, I probably couldn’t count them.
Unlike the straightforward Park Si-yoon, the introduction rhymed as if it was going in a circle.
The phrase “A recent incident” Reflexively brought back memories of that day, but I tried to erase them from my mind. It wasn’t because I was afraid of the beggar stalker’s face, but because the sight of Park Si-yoon, who was looking at me with her blood flowing, was so dangerous that it seemed as if it would just disappear.
-If Han Yuna debuts, will she be featured on talk shows or entertainment shows related to this incident? Or it could become an element of viral marketing.”
– … That’s what you’re worried about.
– Yes.
As the boss’s voice became considerably heavier, my heart became as heavy as if a lead had been placed on it.
Well, of course it is. Even if you just look at the seniors who debuted first, there are countless cases where incidents or accidents that occurred before debut are mentioned in entertainment shows or talk shows.
I don’t know why Park Si-yoon asks that, but for me, it’s a future I’ve already anticipated. Of course it feels bad. It would be annoying because it would feel like I was having a nightmare that I never wanted to remember again.
Still, we have to endure it. That’s because she’s an idol.
– Please. Since Han Yuna made her debut, can you please make sure that incident is never mentioned again? At the very least, I don’t want to see a situation where entertainment or TV programs use it as a subject and create a topic of conversation.
While she was trying to compose herself and understand what would happen in the future, she heard Park Si-yoon’s serious voice from across from her.
“Ah….”
The moment I heard that, a single sigh came out of her mouth.
This is what Park Si-yoon wanted to ask for. That idiot was worried about me even during that incident. Not just me now, but also me in the distant future.
If it were his job, Park Si-yoon would probably have resolved to just endure it, just like me. However, it is clear that she is stepping forward like that because it is my job and not someone else’s.
Why? Just because we were childhood friends? Are you doing this just for that reason?
Then what is a childhood friend to you? Are you talking about an awkward relationship that is more than just friends and less than lovers?
Park Si-yoon, to you I am….
– By the way, Siyoon, can I ask you one question?
– Yes.
– Can you tell me why you asked that? Just because Yuna is your childhood friend?
Did someone overhear my inner thoughts from somewhere?
After the boss accepted Park Si-yoon’s request, he asked a question that seemed to be a copy of my question. A few seconds passed like that.
– I don’t want to see him frown. That’s it.
From Park Si-yoon’s mouth, in a way, a foolish, somewhat crude, yet sincere answer flowed.
It is not an expression such as liking, cherishing, or cherishing. From that subtle difference in vocabulary, I was able to get a glimpse of Park Si-yoon’s emotions.
Even such straightforward words, as he said, seem like an obstacle to me. That must have been the sentence chosen after much consideration.
The moment I thought about it, I had an unfounded conviction that maybe this idiot cared about me more than I thought.
– Really? Okay, okay. Well then, can you stop talking and go out and call Yuna on the phone? The three of us are going to have a meal.
– Ah, yes.
“Huh?”
I was lost in my own world for a moment when I heard the boss’s voice in my head. I was startled by the approaching popularity and tried to hurriedly get out.
“…… !?”
“What, why are you here?”
But before I knew it, I made eye contact with Park Si-yoon, who came out into the hallway, and I could only roll my eyes without making any excuses.
What would have happened if the boss, who came out of the room late, found me and didn’t tell me to go eat quickly? Even thinking about it again makes me dizzy.
***
Afterwards, we finished eating at an Italian restaurant that the owner often goes to and headed home.
The boss had a separate schedule and couldn’t take us to the office, so he called a taxi and sent us away. We quickly ran to a nearby platform, saying that we would take the subway.
The whole way home, only a subtle air passed between me and Park Si-yoon.
Even when we were alone, we were always busy with our phones and didn’t talk, but today was the first time I felt awkward in the silence.
“Han Yuna, let’s go have a cup of coffee. “Today is a long time coming, so I’ll give it a try.”
“Ah, yes….”
Did Park Si-yoon also notice that awkward atmosphere? I unconsciously nodded at the suggestion pointed to an unknown cafe in the neighborhood.
On the one hand, she thought it was good. Because I wanted to take this opportunity to have a deep conversation with Park Si-yoon.
“Are you a chocolate latte?”
“Yes.”
“Then I should just drink a cafe latte.”
As if he knew very well that I only drink chocolate latte because I don’t want to take risks in a cafe I go to for the first time, Park Si-yoon walked up to the counter, guessing her correct answer in a confident voice.
Since there were very few customers, the drinks we ordered came out as soon as we finished paying. I followed Park Si-yoon like a baby penguin as she took the cup on the tray to a corner.
“Italian food was also delicious. “To be honest, I wasn’t able to eat it all because I was full.”
“Well, if I had known it would be like this, I wouldn’t have come here after eating.”
“My words. “You lacked foresight, Kik.”
While sipping on a cafe latte, Park Si-yoon continued the conversation in a rather over-the-top manner.
I know that habit. This is a method that Park Si-yoon uses particularly often when changing words. When this idiot has something to hide, he always talks a lot and laughs a lot.
Do you think you don’t show it off? Anyway, you’re stupid. Even though I’ve told you dozens of times before that I know you as well as you know me.
“Park Si-yoon.”
“Why? “Isn’t the taste good here?”
He took his mouth off the straw and looked at Park Si-yoon, who was sitting across from him, with serious eyes, and when she started talking, he said something else and subtly changed the subject.
I was offended by that sight, so I got up from my seat and headed to the seat next to Park Si-yoon. I didn’t know it would come out this way, and I felt really stupid watching it twitch with its eyes wide open.
“Don’t talk strangely, you know that. “I was listening to that story earlier.”
“… ….”
Park Si-yoon scratched his cheek as if showing his humble feelings.
Tak.
I held on to this idiot’s hand in case he ran away again. For a brief moment, it felt like Park Si-yoon’s body was shaking, but he didn’t care. If anyone is going to see it, take a look.
From Noble mtl dot com
“… “Do you remember what you said earlier?”
“Remember then.”
I like the fact that he awkwardly avoids eye contact but answers straight away, as if he knew there was nowhere to run now. Yes, it should come out like this.
“Did you say you were an obstacle to me?”
“No, that’s not what I meant….”
“Answer.”
“… Yes, just remember.”
When he dismisses Park Si-yoon’s excuses and asks for an answer, the sight of him nodding his head seems very vague.
I know, you idiot. In that sense, it’s not like you looked down on yourself as an obstacle.
The reason Park Si-yoon said that was probably because he was assuming that he would become my ‘boyfriend’ even if only by chance. Because dating is poison for idols. You could also say that it was a choice of words to reassure the boss.
But I still hate it. Even though I knew it in my head, that word irritated me to the point of making me shiver. I don’t want to hear it again
An obstacle means an object that obstructs the path of a person running forward. That also means that it is something that will have to be put away someday.
That’s why I don’t like it. It’s as if I’m hinting at a future in which Park Si-yoon will one day move away from me.
I know, I know, that you get excited and overindulge on your own. Still, I don’t like it. I hate even assumptions and delusions. I just want you to stay by my side forever. No matter what the walls of reality are, no matter how relationships change.
“You did that today, right? “I don’t want to see you frown.”
“… “Did you hear that too?”
“That’s right, I heard it. “It’s the most important story.”
“Wow, I’m embarrassed…. “My face feels hot.”
I don’t know if he was doing this as a joke or because he was truly embarrassed, but Park Si-yoon covered his face with both hands and shuddered.
If that scene seems a bit cute, what happened to my hair?
“So, why is that?”
“It’s embarrassing. “Are you the kind of person who speaks twice with the same voice?”
“What does that mean?”
Park Si-yoon frowned, as if he didn’t understand at all. Not to be outdone, I pressed the bridge of his nose with my fingers and bulged out his eyes. Where is this? Open your eyes straight.
“You said it with your own mouth. He said he hoped I wouldn’t frown. But how can you say that? “After hearing that, did you think I wouldn’t react at all?”
“No, as I said before, that’s….”
“I know, I know, you idiot.”
He cut off Park Si-yoon’s words again as he tried to protest, and put his strength into his hands.
Yes, I know everything. I know that you never meant it that way, and that you still care for me even though you always say that. But,
“… Still, I don’t like it. “Don’t say things like that, even as a joke, or for any reason.”
“… ….”
Park Si-yoon noticed my trembling hands and silently covered the back of my hands with his large hand. He was warm. He is as good as a mug filled with fresh chocolate latte.
“If you don’t want to see me frown, stay next to me. I don’t need ice cream, and I don’t have to eat food that my aunt made herself. “I want you to stay next to me like this without saying anything.”
After debut, it will be more difficult than now. You never know what difficulties may come your way.
But even those unknown hardships can be laughed off. If only I had this idiot who would always laugh and cry with me. So, no matter how unreasonable it is, I want to stick with it. That’s my honest opinion.
I know, how vain and foolish this is. Park Si-yoon probably thinks I’m a fool who doesn’t know anything about the world. You might say bitterly that we are not lovers or a couple, so how is that possible?
Still, I want you to stay by my side. At least until I give myself the right answer.
“Okay, I won’t say things like that again.”
“There’s one more.”
“… Are you planning to kick the blankets tomorrow? “How can you see my face?”
“But let me tell you, whether I kick the blanket or not is up to me.”
Anyway, you seem like a moodless idiot. In times like this, just give the woman the answer she wants. Do I even have to tell you this?
“Okay, I’ll be next to you. As always, we play next to you, telling nonsense and making jokes, and bickering with each other. “Is that okay?”
“Yes, that’s enough for now.”
“… “Now?”
Park Si-yoon expressed doubts about the way he spoke as if he would ask for something else later, but I eased the situation by pulling his hand.
Men who ask questions are not popular, you idiot. I’m saying just ignore it. I don’t even know what you’re talking about because I feel like my head is going crazy right now.
“Is the coffee delicious?”
“It’s not bad. But you hate coffee.”
“I still want to drink it. “I feel like doing that.”
“Well, whatever.”
Following Park Si-yoon’s gesture, I take a sip of the remaining cafe latte.
The latte without a single drop of syrup was quite bitter. Honestly, I wonder why anyone would pay money to drink this.
“Not so good?”
“No, it’s delicious. Maybe.”
Still, it didn’t make her face frown.
That’s because I promised. I won’t frown as long as this fool stays by my side.
Without letting go of Park Si-yoon’s hand until the end, we spent time chatting at the cafe.
As usual, it was a series of stupid and random topics, but it was fun. It was only today that I realized that it was all thanks to the idiot next to me.
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