Civilization

My legs feel like jelly.

My lips cracked and peeling.

My throat is as dry as a desert.

My eyes wander aimlessly.

My head is spinning.

The pungent smell of blood and urine fill the atmosphere around me. I wade through a thick ocean of blood and flesh as it slowly merges and mixes with the constant flow of the river. From a glistening aquamarine blue to a vivid dark ruby red. 

My knees drop and a small wave of blood splash against me, slapping across my face covering me in this mixture. My eyes void from light blinking slowly unaware of the surroundings. 

Behind me slowly drifting towards me until it bumped into my back as something soft but hard at the same time. It rolls around me with the current and drifts around in front of me.

I hold back the urge to chunder as I see the once helpful and insightful GomiTwo's head drift away from me.

His face had a mix of surprise, anger and a hint of sadness. I had only properly got to know him in the pass day and it wasn't just him. Properly speaking and communicating with the other 9 goblins only happened after leaving HavenFall with them.

Now, they were dead. Some smashed into a pile of flesh. Others ripped limb from limb. But the most disturbing death was when the monster opened its wide mouth revealing a row of sharp teeth shredding the unfortunate goblin before spitting out parts of the goblin and blood into the river.

It didn't even start with me. Whenever there was a choice between killing me and killing a goblin it would always kill a goblin first. Not even allowing the chance of one of the goblins to escape and run back to HavenFall to bring back reinforcements. 

"What...What did I do wrong to make this happen…? I-I-I should have kept running with everyone. Why did I say we could defeat it if we ambush it. Why..."

I look up at the clear blue sky. Without a single cloud and with the sun raining down on me I speak to myself. 

Quietly splashing and sploshing towards me was the very same monster that caused this massacure. A gigantic shadow looms over me as it leans forward. Spreading its wings and creating a bigger darkness around me as it slowly grips my neck with one hand. Its sharp claws slightly dig into my skin causing my neck to bleed slowly from multiple locations. I can feel the blood run out of my body slowly being dragged downwards by gravity, over the stone cold claws and down my weathered body and finally joining the styx river. 

With its other hand it grabs my waist. This time with more force making my body tremble a littl causing the claw to dig deeper into my neck creating long lacerations on my neck and waist. 

The air moves so slowly through my nose and mouth. I desperately try to inhale air only to find myself slowly losing consciousness. 

Was it from bleeding? Or was it because I couldn't breathe? A combination of both maybe?

The monster peers into my eyes. Its deep dark black eyes, void of any life stares at me. It was like looking into the abyss.

Its already wide smile grows wider as it increases the pressure on my neck. I could feel my life slowly escaping me bit by bit with every second that passes. I bring my hands up from the river gripping onto the stone claw. I pull and tug on it but it doesn't move. 

Punch, pull, claw, anything I could do. 

I start to lail my legs about creating larger and larger waves. Forcing the blood river to move downstream faster but no matter how much I struggled the monster did not even move, it didn't blink, it didn't flinch. No, it stood there with the creepy wide simile, looking down on me and covering as much sun as possible.

Then nothing.

With a small tug upward and downward my head separated from my body. 

The clear sensation of my skin tearing, arteries bursting and finally my bones snapping apart lingers on my mind. 

It happened so suddenly. Like an impulsive decision. Like a toddler deciding whether or not to kill an ant passing by its feet.

Then my vision fills with darkness.

Seconds pass and then minutes before the darkness fades away.

Replacing it, the ceiling of my room.

I slowly move my hand up towards my neck feeling it with the fingers of my hand then the palm. No cuts, no lacerations and no bleeding. I move my hand down my chest towards my waist. Again, no cuts, no lacerations and no bleeding.

"Just a game...Right, I was just playing a game."

I sit up and take off my VR helmet and place it to the side. I checked my phone and it was only 0125. Early for the game but late in real life. It felt different. I turn on the light around my house and pour myself some water, drinking it all in one gulp. I place the glass down and lean back in a chair.

"Just a game…"

I feel my neck again just to make sure it was still there. 

"How...How did other people deal with this feeling when they died in the game? It's horrible. Terrifying. How...How is this a game?"

I curl up in a ball. 

Close my eyes.

Sleep?

How can I?

I just saw 10 goblins who I had just spoken with not too long ago about their lives die in front of me or around me. Their screams and desperate cries for help echo in my ears. 

And...And GomiTwo's last words…

"Leader Ian...I'm sorry"

The waterworks won't stop. What is this feeling?

I hate it.

I hate it.

I hate it.

I hate it.

Just a game my ass. If I'm trying to play a game where my people's lives are a resource then I can't keep letting him die. The less people there are, the less things I can do. Less manpower, less food, less troops. I can't let this keep happening.

"Next time.. No one will die."