Chapter Eighty-four,
Return

At Mt. Hong Da, there wasn’t that big of a sensation, or perhaps Xiao Zuo simply forcefully stripped the occasional scattering slivers of yearning for home blooming from the ends of the fine branches away- in the end, Mt. Hong Da was not a place he was familiar with, that when he was staying in the room, other than the weather being a bit warmer, it seemed to not be that different from Jin.

But once the red-maned horse he was riding stepped into Qing Ling’s borders, the landscape of Qing Ling that entered his dreams each night instantly took shape, morning plums all over Mt. Fu Dai soaked with morning dew, a faint fragrance floating on Qing Ling’s rivers, going down with the flow, bright-red petals that seem like burning lanterns, guiding the returning wanderer into the gentle dreams of old.

Xiao Zuo still remembered, last time he came to Mt. Fu Dai, he came together with Mother and Big Sister as an outing, on the sixteenth spring of Zhao Ning.

The spring winds of tens of miles just about intoxicated people, the faint pink peach blossoms weaved into a hazy faint fog, gathering the world into this luxurious and beautiful mist. The overspreading willows drifted down like rain, locking spring into its embrace. Big Sister especially brought a gold-weaved satin and spread it over the ground, the hems of the palace maids’ dresses intermingled and weaved together with the falling peach blossoms, scrunched by the occasional blowing wind.

And now, the green mountain was still of that colour that year, but the one watching the flowers was no longer that youth of the past.

Further ahead from Mt. Fu Dai, would be the city. Though He Xuan already wrote to He Heng about the kidnapping, but in the end, it was not good to show faces outside and draw in people’s gazes, so He Xuan arranged for a carriage outside the city early on, and the two entered the city sitting in the horse carriage.

“Brother Xuan.” Xiao Zuo suddenly opened up, he hung his head down, while the exposed neck seemed like it was covered in a layer of fine snow, “I…… can you bring me inside the palace for a look?”

Before He Xuan answered, Xiao Zuo seemed like he was afraid he would not agree, and lifted up the curtains and pointed, “It’s just outside, just a small while……”

“En.” He Xuan moved his eyes away, he slightly calmed his breathing, but could not help but knead the back of Xiao Zuo’s neck, “Hurry back.”

“Thank you, your Highness!”

Once He Xuan’s hand turned empty, he slightly knitted his eyebrows, the faint scent of wild ginger was still hovering at the tip of the nose, slowly dispersing in the slightly humid winter day.

“Who goes? The palace is a restricted area, idlers are not allowed to enter.” The entrance of the palace stood with two guards on the left and right, the one on the right had some bruising beneath their eye, unknown where they had gone off to last night, lazily holding their sword while leaning on the castle while reproaching him.

“Can Iz…… really not go in?” Xiao Zuo saw the familiar yet unfamiliar palace walls in front of him, and fell into a trance for a moment, then hurriedly changed his wording. Seeing the two people in front seemingly annoyed, just as he wanted to grab some silvers from his sleeves, he saw He Xuan come down from the horse carriage, and sway a tally at the two.

“We didn’t know milord was coming in, mercy, milord.” Though the two never saw He Xuan, they knew that was the tally of the crown prince residence. Now that his Highness the Crown Prince was in charge of Qing Ling, even the crown prince residence’s guest was also a big official, and could not easily be offended.

“Go.” He Xuan did not even look at those two, and naturally held the hand in Xiao Zuo’s sleeve. Unsure if it was due to nervousness or excitement, Xiao Zuo’s palm was seeping with a fine sweat, and with intent or not, stuck the two people’s palms even tighter, creating a tangling red thread out of thin air.

Xiao Zuo obediently followed him with small steps, right until they turned into a corner to the gold poolside, He Xuan then let go of him, and said, “The treasures inside the palace have all been moved to the storage outside right now, there aren’t any items of value inside the palace, so it is being guarded very loosely, the two guards outside are there for looks, there typically aren’t many people inside, you……”

He Xuan paused, “One quarter-hour, I will be waiting for you here.”

“En.”Xiao Zuo nodded his head. He actually did not carefully listen to what He Xuan said, how could he pay attention? This place was the old country he yearned for day and night, the forbidden palace he cried for in the midnight dreams, it was…… it was his home.

He stood in front of the entrance to the past, on that side was the flute blowing apart the watery clouds[1], on this side was Guang Ling Terrace’s halls already in desolation[2], he stiffly turned into a ghost of the past country, unable to enter yet not willing to leave.

The white jade bridge by the golden pool, when walking by it on rainy days, palace maids dressed in green thin silk dresses would open an umbrella for him, his arms wrapped around scrolls, hurriedly running to morning class.

The limestone path behind Wen De Hall, when walking by on a sunny day, he would often chat with Chang Fu Run about the old teacher while escaping into the shadows created by the eaves to the side to avoid the scorching sun.

Beside a luan and phoenix[3] statue in front of Wei Yang Palace, when passing by when it was snowing, while he would hold a gem-set handstove in his arms, the plum blossoms would fall all on the hair along with the fine snow, whisking by again and again.

Unknowingly, he already arrived at the entrance of Wei Yang Palace. The side of the jade steps the morning and even would pass by in the past already grew with weeds, clustering without any order, cramming the long-standing luan phoenix statue into the corner, leaving the flowing plumes that looked like they wanted to fly.

Xiao Zuo stopped outside the door of the palace, the doors were locked, forming a fine spiderweb, like an imperial order warning of people to not get close.

Xiao Zuo took one step forward, suddenly startling two birds, flying up from the palace’s eaves, who spun a circle in the air, then stopped on the back of the cold-eyed Ji beast.

The bottom of the wall on that side was still left with the marks Mother left to measure Xiao Zuo’s height. He still remembered that day Mother stood where he is now, and stroked his head, smiling, “From now on, every year, we shall make a line here to measure Li Nu, let Mother see just when Li Nu can be just as tall as the cotton rose on the side, alright?”

Xiao Zuo sadly reached his hand out, those few marks were deep and shallow, crudely rubbing his finger. The cotton rose to the side long already grew to about five chi, the sparse branches created a hint of desolation underneath the clear skies, adding a slight feeling of desertion and tranquility.

All the way in, is a small path that led to the gardens. He remembered that year when coming back from Mt. Fu Dai, it was a night of full moon. He rode a white horse Father chose for him, the path was paved with cold moonlight, cut into broken square pieces from the crossing tree shadows, so when the hooves stepped over the surface, who knows if what splashed up was water or the stars that fell down from the sky.

“Li Nu.”

Xiao Zuo froze, the horse-riding clear-mooned night he was reminiscing instantly faded away, only the night illuminations on the dilapidated and ruined small path in front of his eyes was the same as before.

“Li Nu.”

The incoming person called out again, the end tone carried a hard-to-detect carefulness, it was an immature gentleness.

Xiao Zuo turned his head back, He Xuan was dressed in a black-coloured long-sleeve weaved with gold, the waist was tied with a thin jade band, his brows were slightly knitted, like smoke and rain covering over mountains.

He extended his hand toward Xiao Zuo, the sunset poured its remaining glows into his eyes, making Xiao Zuo faintly confused for a moment.

“Come here.” He Xuan hurriedly called out, that gaze seemed like it was looking at a porcelain object placed on the edge of a table, to shatter if one did not pay attention, and break apart into pieces.

The sun sunk a bit more, the eaves on the side pressed lower and lower from the crouching beasts sitting on the top, the phoenix being rode by an immortal in the very front opened its mouth to swallow the part of the sun cleanly, and in an instant, the light and dusk got split into two halves- to Xiao Zuo’s left was the garden hidden in the dark, while the right was He Xuan standing in the setting sun.

Xiao Zuo’s lashes shook, he seemed like he was bidding a farewell, deeply looking at the gardens already overgrown with weeds, and turned to run toward He Xuan.

“Brot…… Brother Xuan……” Xiao Zuo used all the strength in his body to tightly hug He Xuan’s waist, and buried his head into his chest, smelling the faint ice sandalwood scent on He Xuan’s body, he teeth shook, and said with a choking sob, “I…… I don’t have a home anymore……”

He Xuan lightly patted his back, letting him rub his tears on that very expensive brocade robe of He Xuan’s, and after a long time, he seemed like he was muttering in his dreams, softly saying, “Li Nu still has me.”

Unsure if Xiao Zuo who cried himself out heard or not, He Xuan looked at the evening glows shining like weaved brocade in the distance, and did not look deep into it.

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