Chapter 235 - A Breakthrough

A deafening silence filled the room. It was my father who broke the silence. He was looking at me with surprised eyes. “Jubell, did you just…” The astonishment in his voice reminded me of the ridiculous act I had just committed. A shiver ran down my spine.

‘What… have I done? I can’t believe I just called him “daddy”!’ I was only two months away from coming of age. Unable to understand what I’d done, I stood frozen in place. Father had approached me in no time and was now standing in front of me.

Holding me by my shoulders, he asked, “Tell me, do you remember what happened?”

Impatience and despair—those were the emotions that characterized his expression. ‘Why does he look so miserable?’ I didn’t know why, but my heart was torn to pieces as well. Another sharp headache emerged, followed by an image with a reddish hue.

“I’m sorry. I wanted…”

It was my father’s voice that brought me back to reality. “Jubell, what was that just now…?” he sighed. My heart sank, thinking he was disappointed. Still, I couldn’t undo what had already been done. Moreover, I didn’t want to blow the chance I had to get close to my father.

‘The embarrassment is temporary. I’ll be honest this time.’ With these thoughts, I opened my mouth. “Oh, I… just wanted to try calling you by a different name this time.” I had explained in a very subtle way, but my father’s eyes widened. I waited for his response in nervousness, afraid that he would scold me for acting inappropriately for my age.

“I see,” he replied. His eyes soon bent into semicircles as a warm smile settled on his handsome face. His friendly expression and gentle gaze brought forth the feelings I had repressed since childhood.

‘To be honest, I had always wanted to call you by something other than “father.” I wanted to be like the other girls who had a close relationship with their dads.’ Still, I couldn’t reveal my earnest thoughts as they might sound bothersome.

He replied, “You can keep calling me that if you want.” My eyes widened in disbelief for a moment. Emotions surged from within, and I ended up crying. “Jubelian?” I tried to pretend to be calm to answer him. However, the dam that had been suppressing my emotions had shattered. I was swayed in whichever direction my sentiments took me; it was as if I was drowning in the rapids of a river. Belatedly covering my mouth, I began to sob. It seemed my father was confused as to why I had suddenly burst into tears. He repeatedly called after me. “Jubelian, what’s wrong? Are you hurt anywhere?” I knew that I had to stop crying, but his questions only made me more sorrowful.

‘The answer was right here all this time… Yet it has been so difficult for me.’

“Do not come here again.” I had been afraid that Father might reject me as he had in the past. For that reason, I couldn’t dare to address him in a friendly manner until now. I had no choice but to watch him from afar and follow him around in a way that he wouldn’t notice.

“Tell me what’s going on.” I met his eyes in response to his question. Although he had spoken coldly, there was worry in his eyes.

“Can… I do that?”

With a puzzled expression, he asked back, “Do what?”

“…Can I keep calling you ‘daddy’ or ‘dad’ from now on?” I asked in between my sobs. He remained silent for a moment then nodded.

“Of course.” He then stroked my head once. It was an awkward and extremely careful gesture, but it was what I had desperately wanted as a child. I understood how I truly felt now. I always told myself that I didn’t need his love anymore, but that had only been for self-defense. In reality, I still had a deep affection for him.

I continued to sob. Watching me do so without saying anything, he held my hand. Although there were no words of consolation or a hug, it was a turning point in our clumsy relationship.