Dead Man's Harem. Since I can't kill myself, I'll find other ways to be happy.

There were few things as jarring to see as two blonde half naked elf twins with pointed ears and identical petite-thick body shapes battling it out in a drunken brawl for moral supremacy. With three thousand plus years of history, the un-ageing elven race was shrouded in mystery and revered, and considered to be wise in mind and fair in complexion. And yet, that stereotype was rather misplaced and an easily dispelled illusion if one spent any time with an elf.

They drank and swore like dwarves, fornicated like rabbits on occasion, and above all else, their heightened attunement with mana and the natural elements made them fiery mages of excellent caliber.

Dressed in extremely revealing ceremonial elven leaf dresses with an outrageous v-neck that completely exposed their perfectly shaped breasts, which by human standards looked almost like the product of breast augmentation plastic surgery, oriental red nipple tassels danced and bounced up and down as the two elves jiggled while casting minor magic at each other. The fire element intertwined with the lightning element in a frighteningly competent display of raw magical talent from the two drunk twin elves.

The slanted eyed twin with a uniquely angular face slung a spark of lightning magic down the hallway, the lightning zigzagging through the corridor as the softer faced twin Neomi sidestepped the magic, casting a small ball of fire in retort.

With a twist of her tiny waistline, the angular faced twin Mina's zipper became more and more undone, until it was showing more than just a hint of unshaven wispy blonde pubic hair, and she scrunched up her cheeks angrily without noticing that her zipper was becoming more and more undone.

Meanwhile, the din from the tavern downstairs grew louder and louder, and the faint sound of madame Elisa's signature ohohoho~ mixed in with the crowd. The commotion was caused by a boisterous drunken bet between a noble and a villager, with the noble claiming that he could outdrink the villager. This was met by a challenge by the villager, who wagered his house in exchange for the noble's precious golden pendant.

Increasingly escalated boasts and jeers were made, a verbal agreement was exchanged that was held binding by madame Elisa's contract magic, and so the contest began. The village's stout was exceptionally strong, and both contestants were drinking heavily while pacing themselves lest their bladders explode, with the time limit of the contest being an hour.

Whhhssssshhh…

Neomi flicked a small flame towards Mina's mid-section, and the mana-fueled flame landed on her nether region, setting her pubic hair on fire.

"Eeaah!" Mina yelped, as she leaned in with her legs squeezed together, tapping her puic region to put the fire out.

"That's what you get for your irresponsibility, Mina!" Neomi shouted, staggering drunkenly. The alcoholic stouts that they served downstairs were exceptionally strong, kicking in later to great effect.

"Wâ cerî cin foeg i's wâl gider, cin're i er stupid h'in Neomi!" Mina retorted while aggressively patting her pubic region, putting out the still-smouldering mana fueled flames that were clinging onto her pubic hair for dear life.

Suddenly, a loud inebriated snore came from the room they were fighting outside of. The blonde elf twins looked at the door, then back at each other.

"I challenge you, Mina," Neomi said with a pouty face. "Let's test ourselves. Whoever can make Devon cum first wins. I know you're scared that you'll lose to me!"

Mina looked back at her angrily, her pubic region slightly singed from the whole ordeal and her breasts bouncing delightfully as she covered her zipper region with one of her slender hands for modesty. "You will not beat me, Neomi, even if you try your hardest! I accept your challenge!"

With a bit off huffing and puffing, the two blonde elven twins hmphed at each other their way towards the door that Mina came out of earlier. They locked eyes with each other and looked fiercely in a competitive spirit.

Down below in the tavern, another whole-hearted cheer and faint ohohohoho~ pace yourself, darling~ came from the noble versus villager contest of drinking which had their house and golden pendant on the line.

*Creak*

The twin elves slipped into the room occupied by the snoring Devon, making sure to keep quiet and not to wake the passed out drunk young man. Neomi quietly zipped down her own ceremonial elven leaf dress, showing just the slightest hint of pink lips within her tight spandex dress.

"You're going down, Mina," the soft faced Neomi whispered aggressively, with her round eyes, youthful facial structure, and glowing white complexion.

"As if!" Mina whispered back towards her, her slanted and elongated eyes giving her a somewhat feline look.

An elven familial war was about to begin, a test of cute and pretty with a hint of poison within versus sly and sexy with a dash of spice, and Devon's inn bed was about to become a battlefield.