Dead with Me

The best way to deal with a zombie was to crack its skull open and give it eternal rest.

Yeonseung glanced at the Lee Hogyu who was looking back at him with an unreadable face.

This was the man he liked.

He liked his handsome face, he liked his kindness, he liked his simple nature, he liked the way he wore his feelings on his sleeve, and later on, he even liked his sleeping habits. It seems that Yeonseung’s love for every part of Lee Hogyu continued to grow even after he died and became a zombie.

Even after he found out his lover had become a zombie, he couldn’t bring himself to break his skull. He knew that many people had died because they couldn’t bear to kill their lovers or family members who had become zombies, and whenever he heard about it, he wondered how they had even managed to survive so far, but here he was, now, in the same situation.

His bloodless skin and slow, clumsy movements unmistakably made him a zombie, but he didn’t want to kill him. In fact, he was almost grateful for finding him. The only reason he was still alive at this moment was that Lee Hogyu had sacrificed himself to save him, so it would be a shame if he were to lose his life to him.

For now, Yeonseung decided that they would live together.

“Ah, dumpling no! Stop bullying Lee Hogyu and come here.”

Dumpling whined in frustration as it stopped rubbing against Lee Hogyu’s toneless skin and jumped up to sit on the couch. After petting him, Yeonseung picked up his needle and resumed sewing. Moving the needle deftly, he tied off the end of the thread and snipped off the excess with scissors.

“That looks pretty good!”

Lifting the t-shirt up and looking it over, he smiled in satisfaction. After admitting that zombie Lee Hogyu was still the same Lee Hogyu after all, Yeonseung couldn’t help but notice his torn t-shirt. Even if he didn’t bite, Yeonseung was afraid he might go for Dumpling, so Yeonseung taped duct tape over his mouth, tied him to a wooden post with rope once again, and ripped off his shirt.

Whether tied or not, Lee Hogyu did not move much, and when Yeonseung tried to cut the shirt with scissors, he began to squirm. However, his struggles were only as strong as a new-born fawn, and he was easily subdued, leaving Yeonseung with the only t-shirt he had. Not taking his eyes off Yeonseung, Lee Hogyu’s gaze shifted to the t-shirt in Yeonseung’s hand. He waved the shirt around and slowly but surely, Lee Hogyu’s gaze followed.

Feeling a little sorry for Hogyu’s dull eye as it stared at the rag-like t-shirt, Yeonseung eventually decided to cut out the red heart printed on the t-shirt, which was about the size of his palm, and sew it onto a new shirt.

It was a t-shirt he had bought for a cheap price in the Dongdaemun market to celebrate their 100th anniversary. He had deliberately picked a tacky pattern to hide the real gift, but he did not expect just how much Lee Hogyu would love it, and he felt a little sorry that he’d never worn it with him because he thought it was tacky.

He smiled bitterly as he carefully stitched a red heart on the left chest pocket of the long-sleeve shirt.

Yeonseung picked up the shirt and stood up, walking over to the post where Lee Hogyu was chained. Lee Hogyu ‘s right eye glared at the approaching Yeonseung, but then he saw the white T-shirt in Yeonseung’s hand. He glanced at the red heart on the t-shirt and then slowly turned his attention back to Yeonseung. Not noticing Lee Hogyu’s gaze, Yeonseung rubbed his slightly heated cheeks. The lean muscles on the zombie’s pale white body tied to the pole and the made him feel a bit embarrassed.

He shook his head, coughed, and walked over to Lee Hogyu. He managed to get his shirt around his neck, but couldn’t get it underneath because his hands were tied. After a moment’s hesitation, he ripped off the tape that bound Lee Hogyu ‘s wrists, cautiously eyeing him in case he lunged at him. Lee Hogyu did not move, just stared at Yeon Seung’s face, which was so close to his own.

The pupils of his eye, with no sign of life to it, gazed at Yeonseung with an unknown emotion. There shouldn’t be any emotion left in him, his cold skin and blank face were proof enough, but somehow it felt like it was true, the absurd notion that Lee Hogyu was looking at him with any emotion at all.

Without untying the rope around Lee Hogyu ‘s waist, Yeonseung quickly put on a t-shirt and stepped back. As he stared at him, Hogyu slowly lowered his head and looked down at the red heart tattooed on his left chest.

Thinking of Lee Hogyu’s heart, which had already stopped beating, Yeonseung, who had sewed a heart on his left chest blushed as he said, “Of course the heart is on the left!» It was a pretty tacky pattern in hindsight. But this world wasn’t one that could afford the luxury of fashion anyway, so Yeonseung nodded in agreement.

Slowly, Lee Hogyu raised his right hand, which had fallen limp. He blinked slowly as he placed his right hand on the heart patch on his chest. Lee Hogyu’s white hand groping at his breastbone gave the illusion that he was less of a zombie and more of a human.

Yes, he was very much human.

Yeonseung frowned at the sight and bit his lip hard. This bloodless, lifeless, mindless zombie could sometimes act very human. He didn’t bite people the way a zombie was supposed to, and just like human Hogyu, he wouldn’t make a move to hurt Yeonseung.

Whenever the zombie did that, it was as if the dead Lee Hogyu had come back to life as a human, and Yeonseung couldn’t help but feel a churning inside.

Ignoring the stabbing pain in the pit of his stomach, Yeonseung spotted Lee Hogyu staring at him and with a broken smile, he fetched the first aid kit. Taking a white eye patch from the kit, he peeled off the wrapper and approached Lee Hogyu. With a careful touch, he peeled off the tape that had been temporarily applied to his right eye, revealing a small amount of purulence on it. Yeonseung made a face and quickly threw the tape away, then he placed a white patch over Hogyu’s left eye and stepped back a bit.

A thin, handsome man with an eye patch over his left eye looked at Yeonseung with a dazed expression.

“… You look like a real human.”

Biting the tip of his tongue, Yeonseung nodded and suddenly saw Lee Hogyu’s lower half. What should have been long pants had become shorts of different lengths, barely covering his lower half. After a moment’s thought, Yeonseung rummaged through the storage room and retrieved a pair of generously sized grey trimmed trousers from the clothes he had once swept out of the store.

He swallowed hard and reached out to grab the waistband of Lee Hogyu ‘s ragged trousers. As he squatted and held the waistband, he felt his face burn for some reason. This wasn’t that kind of steamy situation at all.

He didn’t know if it was because it had been so long, or because it was Lee Hogyu who was standing in front of him, but a feeling of embarassment washed over Yeonseung, who rubbed his chest and opened his mouth to spout unnecessary words.

“It’s because your trousers are too old and worn out.”

“…….”

“So can you stop looking at me like that?”

Lee Hogyu, who had been staring down at Yeonseung with unfocused eyes, tilted his head to show

that he didn’t under

stand Yeonseung’s words. This guy… was being too clever; at this point, Yeonseung had a sneaking suspicion that he was just pretending to be a walking dead to mess with him.

And that suspicion grew stronger when Yeonseung grabbed Lee Hogyu ‘s trousers and pulled them down.

“……”

“……Ahem.”

You’ve been dead for three years, shouldn’t it have……shrunk a little bit?

Yeonseung tried his best to look away from Lee Hogyu Jr. standing tall and proud in front of him.

In fact, he wasn’t so inexperienced that he would feel awkward and nervous at the mere sight of another man’s member. He had seen more than his fair share, and he wasn’t the kind of guy who would sit in a corner with his cheeks flushed and fanning his face because he had seen a dick.

But the reason that had Yeonseung all flustered is that while he was used to it, he was not used to seeing Lee Hogyu’s Junior.

‘What’s the difference’ you might ask, but for Yeonseung, it was a big deal.

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It was a chance meeting. One day, cool and popular  Yeonseung who had never rejected anyone who came his way, and never stopped anyone who left, met the handsome Lee Hogyu. He was so unlike any other man he had dated before, and so, Yeonseung who was having quite some fun decided to meet up with him more and more often.

‘What is it that makes him smile so happily when we’re just holding hands?’

‘He’s been waiting for me for three hours? Isn’t he a pushover?’

‘Why are the corners of my mouth curving up when all I’ve done is hold his hand?’

As this went on, Yeonseung eventually found that his heart was pounding and his fingertips tingling whenever he saw Lee Hogyu. After falling head over heels, Yeonseung started to pay more attention to his own image. Lee Hogyu who freaked out over the smallest things was pitiful, and every time Yeonseung wanted to match his efforts, he became embarrassed and acted like a fool every time the atmosphere got even remotely ambiguous.

When they watched a deliberately borrowed 19th-century film together at Lee Hogyu ‘s house, he fanned himself unnecessarily during the passionate kissing scene between the male and female leads. (Next to him, Lee Hogyu blushed bright red from his face to the nape of his neck and kept his eyes fixed on the floor.)

On the day of a sudden rain shower, he feigned embarrassment by stepping into Hogyu’s black umbrella, even though he had one in his bag. (Hogyu’s hand dropped the umbrella so fast it shook like a mobile phone on vibrate mode, and Yeonseung had to pick it up.)

It felt like trying to teach a fish how to swim, but thankfully, Yeon Seung’s performance finally bore fruits.

Later, Lee Hogyu’s listless and clumsy movements during their first kiss eventually led to Yeonseung taking the lead. Lee Hogyu started wondering if all kisses were supposed to feel that ecstatic.

When the one who pretended to be inexperienced(Yeonseung), and the one who was actually a virgin(Lee Hogyu), slept together for the first time, It had been almost a year after they started dating. It was a very long time for Yeonseung, who was used to moving to quick business within a week of dating, but not for Lee Hogyu. Even if Yeonseung tried to sneakily set the mood and throw hints half a year into their relationship, half the time, Lee Hogyu didn’t even notice the flirting, and when he actually did, he blushed and ran away.

They had already agreed on their preferred positions when they first met, so that couldn’t be the reason…. Yeonseung remembered Lee Hogyu blushing and nodding hastily when they talked about it.

“You actually prefer…… bottoming?”

It wasn’t a matter of preference, but he didn’t mind. But even with that straightforward approach, Lee Hogyu had still managed to change the subject.

One day, when Yeonseung was wondering if maybe he should be satisfied with just platonic love, Lee Hogyu, who was still looking nervous, uncharacteristically grabbed Yeonseung’s shoulder and said.

“Yeonseung, that, In fact-… I actually have no experience.”

""

“What experience?”

“You know, when it comes to sex.”

Yeonseung looked up at Lee Hogyu, who was blushing profusely, with an embarrassed foolish look on his face.

‘Did he really think I wouldn’t know?’

It was the first time he had ever heard someone confessing that they were a virgin, as he seriously pondered on how to respond. Seeing his lover looking nervous, Lee Hogyu swallowed hard, then lowered his grip on his shoulders, and clasped Yeonseung’s hands in his own.

“I mean, I might be clumsy and end up hurting you or making you uncomfortable.”

“Huh?”

“And I don’t want to hurt you, I want you to be happy all the time.”

Speaking earnestly, Lee Hogyu smiled his usual, very cheeky but cool smile at the bewildered Yeonseung.

“So, when I’ve studied a lot, when I’m skilled enough to make you feel good, then we’ll do it.”

What do you mean studying, experience was the best path to learn! In retrospect, it was a very silly thing to say, but somehow it still moved him.

He thought about how lucky he was to have fallen in love with such a gem of a man, among so many men who could only see him for his body and couldn’t wait to get in bed with him, and so he waited patiently for Lee Hogyu.

And Lee Hogyu, who had never broken a promise to Yeonseung, stayed true to his words on their first night together three months later. Of course, Yeonseung, who hadn’t stopped pretending to be innocent and virtuous, was very passive, and Lee Hogyu cherished such a Yeonseung dearly.

Yeonseung wanted to say where in the world was there such a thing as studying to have sex, but, in the end, he had to admit it. Lee Hogyu was a model student, and even his pencil was large and hard.

But just as they were getting used to the idea of waking up together after their first night, the outbreak happened.

About a week after Yeonseung decided to stop being passive and proactively seduce his lover, the news of the first infected person in South Korea was everywhere in the TV news. Of course, Yeonseung couldn’t just ask to go back to bed.

For this reason, Yeonseung did not have much of a relationship with Lee Hogyu Jr. beyond that first night, especially because Lee Hogyu had done everything from start to finish, while he just lay in bed with his eyes closed.

Yeonseung shook his head to get Lee Hogyu Jr. out of his head. He would be sleeping peacefully in the grey sweatpants and he would never raise his head as vigorously as before. Thinking about it, Yeon Seung felt sorry that he had never served Lee Hogyu and his junior properly in the past, that he had been too proud to do so.

Now that he thought about it, Lee Hogyu who always loved Yeonseung unconditionally and was always saying ‘i’m fine’, seemed to be more like a saint than a pushover.

Yes, the saint, Lee Hogyu.

Scratching the bridge of his nose, Yeonseung suddenly thought. A truly kind person would never inflict on their lover the lifelong scar of dying in front of their eyes while they could only watch on helplessly.

After all, Lee Hogyu was just a pushover.

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It was a clear morning with sunlight streaming through the window. As Yeonseung stabbed his fork into his salad, a cherry tomato rolled across his plate. When he glanced over, he saw Lee Hogyu, who must have shoved the cherry tomato into his mouth, puffing out his cheeks expressionlessly.

Yeonseung smirked because there was no way he could have held a fork with those weak hands, so he must have just stuck his nose in his plate and stuffed his mouth full of cherry tomatoes. He was a zombie, but he was also quite an appetite, he thought, and he piled his salad onto Lee Hogyu ‘s plate.

Lee Hogyu’s food was the one thing Yeonseung was most concerned about when he decided to keep him with him. It is a common perception that the zombie eats human flesh, and Yeonseung had never actually seen a zombie eat anything other than humans.

As a test, Yeonseung sat Lee Hogyu down on the table, neatly placed an apple on his plate, and handed him a fork. He sat across from him, dipping his fork into his own share of apples, and when Yeonseung urged him to eat, he fumbled awkwardly with his fork and put it in his mouth.

The fork.

Before he knew it, it started bending under the force of a zombie’s flesh-eating jaws. While Yeonseung, who quickly took the fork away to avoid breaking his teeth, was wondering what to do, Lee Hogyu, who was looking at Yeonseung from afar, just kept his head down and ate the apple, apparently just copying Yeonseung’s eating.

He was relieved to learn that Lee Hogyu was a vegetarian, since zombies didn’t really chop up humans with forks and knives in the first place.

After the meal, Yeonseung approached him with a thick towel. He wanted to wipe the dirt from the corner of Lee Hogyu’s mouth, but he was afraid that Lee Hogyu might bite his hand, so he wiped the corner of Lee Hogyu ‘s mouth with a towel thick enough that it wouldn’t hurt if he did. Of course, Lee Hogyu didn’t even open his mouth to bite Yeonseung’s hand.

Yeonseung didn’t mind being turned into a zombie, but he was being cautious because there Dumpling, so it was better to be human. But whether he realised it or not, Lee Hogyu acted as if he had no intention of biting Yeonseung in the first place.

After putting down the towel, Yeonseung sat down across from Lee Hogyu. His porcelain white, lifeless face stared back at him.

Even though he had decided to leave Lee Hogyu behind, Yeonseung was still nervous. Whether this was the right choice or not. The sight of Lee Hogyu ‘s bloodied face gave him an pleasant thrill, and a bitter sadness washed over his mind.

This man in front of him was unmistakably Lee Hogyu, but he was also a zombie, a zombie who had died trying to save his Yeonseung.

‘You go first, I’ll catch up!’

""

Thinking of Lee Hogyu’s smiling face as he was surrounded by the zombie, Yeonseung lowered his head and washed his face. He felt the tip of his nose turn sour and the corners of his mouth turn up at the same time.

“That promise, I’ll pretend I forgot about it. It’s not like it’s a big deal…….”

Yeonseung let out a small laugh and wiped away the tears that flooded his face. He wasn’t sure if it was sadness, joy, confusion or something else that was bursting out of his heart. He just let out a small sob when the sound of rustling caught his attention.

When he looked up, he saw Lee Hogyu had not even gotten up from his chair and was staring at Yeonseung, unsure of what to do. His expression was clearly lifeless, but his fidgeting hands showed how flustered he was. The ridiculous situation made Yeonseung laugh out loud.

Once he laughed, he felt a little better. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he smiled and locked eyes with Lee Hogyu. The round eyes were definitely dilated, but somehow, they didn’t feel like the eyes of a corpse.

“Did you miss me so much that you came running to me as a zombie?”

“…….”

“Huh? Lee Hogyu. Did you like me that much?”

Yeonseung asked Lee Hogyu with a smile, even though he knew there would be no answer. In the past, when he was still human, when he had asked him silly questions like this, he had blushed but smiled and told him he loved him.

I don’t know what I would have said back then. Smiling faintly at the hazy memory, Yeonseung got up from his chair to clear his plate.

And then, a low voice stuttered out from Lee Hogyu.

“…Yeon, Yeon…seung…”

The words were cracked and stuttered, but it was enough for Yeonseung. It was enough for the dam holding the brunt of his overwhelming emotions to burst, as hot tears overflowed from his eyes once more, staining his white cheeks, before dropping to the floor with a plop.

Mouth open and expression dazed, Yeonseung stumbled over to Lee Hogyu in his chair, reached out, wrapped his arms around the back of his head, and pulled him into a tight embrace. His body, which had always been warmer than Yeonseung’s, was now ice cold. He didn’t know whether or when he would open his mouth to bite him, but it didn’t matter.

Even if this choice ultimately led to his death, he wouldn’t regret it, because he had a fool who would love him even as a zombie. If Yeonseung became a zombie, neither alive nor dead, He knew Lee Hogyu would still love him.

Lee Hogyu liked Yeonseung.

So much so, in fact, that he wouldn’t care if he became a zombie.