Dear Love

At that time, Xu Mei thought I would be okay with my contract, because I signed the 20-year contract that she gave me without blinking my eyebrows. Twenty years, if you are just an ordinary person and the company manager keeps her in cold storage (tl. to suspend a performer as punishment), your life will be over.

Xu Mei should have thought so at that time. So she confidently and boldly let me cooperate with Jay one play at a time, but from time to time she would kindly remind me like a sister. So that not to take a fake play as real. She is seven years older than Jay. No matter how much she cares, I never think about it. I just think it’s a routine of the company.

Later, Jay and I fell in love without telling the company. From time to time, we go out for dinner and meet at the request of the company. Making all kinds of ambiguous pictures for reporters, and we never tire of it.

But she was watched by sister Mei and paparazzi when she went out because she worked at home. Jay and I have been dating for ten years in our previous lives. For many reasons, he hasn’t even touched me. Now I think it’s funny to think back. I really don’t know how I got involved with him in the same days as guerrilla warfare. How did I spend the next ten years like this?

Until we were exposed later, Jay and I were dating hand in hand in Japan, which was revealed by netizens, which was not arranged by the company. Xu Mei thought the thing was amiss. Then she pustudio off several of my works and stopped me from cooperating with Jay. She is really an excellent manager. After that, she kept acting continuously, but threw me some bad films, which directly reduced my popularity.

I’m not short of money, so she wants me to admit defeat, and she wants me to admit my mistake. But I didn’t respond to her at all. I still went to visit Jay and meet him. Until she was really angry and came to me herself. She said, let me see the situation. If I fight against the company and her again, the company will freeze me so that I can’t take any more jobs.

But I still go my own way. Jay had a good attitude at that time. He gave me his secondary card. He said, “Xiao Ai do not be afraid. I’ll raise you.” At that time, my man was willing to support me. I was very happy….

But then things slowly changed. Xu Mei began to change her countermeasures. She turned into a weak person and an infatuated woman waiting for her lover. She made trouble,when she was sick, she cried. She pulled Jay away from me again and again. Finally, she cut her pulse and attempted suicide. Jay finally left me and never looked back.

For a period of time, as long as I heard Jay’s cell phone ring, I couldn’t help shaking with fear. Because I watched him being pulled away by that woman again and again, he would take my hand and say, “Xiao Ai, I can’t leave her alone.” Then, I watched him let go of my hand to find Xu Mei. Although, every time he would tell me: “Xiao Ai, don’t be afraid, I will come back.” But in the end, he never came back….

Because Xu Mei succeeded in holding the weakest part of Jay’s heart, he won’t leave her who shares joys and sorrows with him

Before they got married, I was frozen by the company until I took the initiative to disclose my identity and compensated for the sky high liquidated fee. I always remember Xu Mei’s eyes were like wild animals, as if to tear me apart. She looked at me and said in a tone that seemed to eat people: “I was going to make you unable to turn over all your life. You’re really lucky.” The unwillingness in that tone makes me just want to sneer….

An’an slept a lot, but couldn’t sleep at night. I don’t know why the little guy stuck to me today. I sat in a daze in my chair. When he woke up, he climbed onto me and asked, “Sister, what are you doing?”

I touched his face and told him what I was thinking.

As a result, when Fu Jun Yan came back in the afternoon, he saw a baby and a dog sitting on the blanket.

Fu Jun Yan was amused by the muddleheaded look of the two little guys. He bent down and touched his little head and asked, “An’an, what are you doing?”

As a result, An’an rolled big black eyes and looked at Fu Jun Yan seriously, learning to use the same tone to talk and said, “An’an is thinking.”

At that time, I was drinking water. When I heard it, I choked fiercely and coughed against the wall until the tears fell down. Then, I heard Fu Jun Yan also burst into loud laughter, picked up Gu Xiao An and praised him: “An’an is so smart.”

In the evening, when I was going to take a scene, An’an refused to sleep, holding my leg and following me. I think the child’s daily schedule is disordered, so I refuse to nod my head. But the little guy looked back at Fu Jun Yan pitifully and stumbled into his arms to act as a spoiled child: “An’an will be good, An’an will be quiet.”

Fu Jun Yan was also very good at talking. Left with no choice but to go to work with me.

I changed my clothes and came out of the dressing room. The little guy was still in Fu Jun Yan’s arms, looking at me with his head, covering his small mouth and saying, “Sister, An’an will be quiet?”

As soon as I heard it, my heart was as warm as cotton. Looking at Fu Jun Yan standing next to the director, I had to nod helplessly.

This is Jay and I playing against each other. Gu Xin Yao had a miscarriage and fled from the hospital to her and Mo Qian’s nest to commit suicide. Kimura Jin slammed into the door and saved Gu Xin Yao lying in a pool of blood.

When I walked into the bathroom, I suddenly remembered my previous life. He didn’t come back after being called away by Xu Mei that day. I held him by the waist, but in the end he left. I don’t know if Jay can’t leave because he saw Xu Mei lying in a pool of blood. 

Later, I thought again and again that if I had put a knife around my neck and cried and wouldn’t let him go, would all the later stories be rewritten?

But I didn’t. I wouldn’t do that. Because I know mommy’s story, I can’t make the same mistake as mommy. Love… 

If I am gone, what love is there?

Before shooting, the staff checked the props, the lights lit up, and I began to act.

In the bathroom, the woman turned on the tap with a pale face and looked stupefied as the bathtub slowly filled up. She sat on the edge of the bathtub and watched her long skirt get wet. For a long time, I saw her smiling at herself in the mirror with her head tilted, but a drop of tears slowly came down from the corners of her eyes. At this time, she finally stretched out her finger tip to touch the mirror, and watched the tears in her eyes fall in the mirror, and there were no ripples in the water.

“Mo Qian…” the woman cautiously and solemnly called out. Her eyes suddenly fell on the blade beside the sink. She reached out to touch it and suddenly smiled: “Ha, ha ha.” When the blade was held in the palm of her hand, she looked at it again and again like holding a treasure. Her five fingers stroked it. Even if she touched the knife edge, she didn’t seem to hurt. She only murmured the name: “Mo Qian, Mo Qian…”

Then, the absent-minded woman was stunned, as if she suddenly understood something. She didn’t laugh or cry. She just turned and sat in the bathtub, her long skirt floating on the water like a beautiful white lotus.

Then, she almost stubbornly looked in a direction, like an oath, and shouted again and again: “Mo Qian, where are you? Mo Qian, I’ll find you…” 

Then, the blade was drawn in the palm of her hand one by one, one by one. It was heavy, blood gurgling down, everything was stained red. A dazzling white lotus blossomed in the snow-white bathtub in an instant.

In such an empty room, only she slowly closed her eyes and carefully reminded the man’s name: “Mo Qian…” then, a tear came down silently.

At this moment, Kimura Jin’s shout came, and the knock on the door became heavier. Finally, he stooped and smastudio the door open, and picked up the unconscious person who bloomed like a blood lotus in the bath. Running out like crazy, there was only a sad roar  in his mouth.

I lay in Jay’s arms with my eyes closed. The set was so quiet that I could even clearly feel his intense heartbeat and tense muscles.

“OK! Go over it again.” After a silence, John’s voice finally sounded. I opened my eyes, but I was still in Jay’s arms. Because he entered the play, his sad mood had not subsided. He looked at me in his arms like that. The bottom of his eyes was so sad. And such eyes are so familiar to me. My nose is sour and I can’t help crying again.

At this time, the thunderous cry suddenly sounded, and a small body stumbled towards me. He pustudio Jay and hit: “Bad guy, bad guy, let go of sister! Let go of my sister!”

I quickly got up from Jay’s arms. Before bending down to coax him, Gu Xiao An rustudio up and knocked me down on the ground. The little guy flusthed and hugged me. When his little face was buried in me, he began to cry: “Sister, don’t leave An’an! An’an will be obedient! An’an will be very clever!” 

I was stunned, but looking at An’an, who refused to get up in her arms, her heart hurt fiercely. She quickly hugged him and asked, “What’s the matter? An’an, it’s all right, don’t cry.”

“Sister don’t bleed, An’an don’t let sister bleed, An’an will be very clever, burp, An’an will be obedient… Sister don’t die like mother…”

Dead?! I was silly.  When all is said and done, what did Fu Jun Yan say to An’an? How can such a young child know that he has no mother? But at this time, I didn’t dare to ask. I just shook and coaxed the little guy: “An’an is very good ah! An’an, don’t be afraid, sister is here! Sister is here! An’an, this is acting, it’s fake! Sister doesn’t bleed, it’s fake! Don’t cry, An’an is good, An’an don’t cry.”

Gu Xiao An didn’t listen. He was shaking with tears, but he still stubbornly held me and refused to give up. He bowed his head and picked up my wrist full of props and syrup. He studio tears and said, “Sister don’t hurt, An’an hu..hu…..”

My eyes were sore because of the child, and all the grievances and the sadness turned out in full strength. Looking at this stubborn and distressing child, I couldn’t help but sit on the ground and cry.

Most of the studio staff also had red eyes.

And I vaguely saw Fu Jun Yan coming over. He squatted down and hugged me and An’an, patted us on the back again and again, coaxed us and said, “Be good, don’t cry.”