Defeated By Love

Shu Nian’s body was naturally cold so her hands and feet would be cold all year round like ice. 

At that moment, Xie Ruhe’s palm covered hers which brought a sense of warmth. He didn’t hold on very strongly but nonetheless, it made her feel a sense of stability. It was like he was charged with electricity and everywhere he touched became hot. 

This was different from the previous time. 

Her body stiffened and she slowly withdrew her eyes without breaking away from his hold. Shu Nian didn’t know what to say so she just nervously drank a mouthful of milk tea. Her eyebrows hung down and her whole attention was on the hand on her wrist. 

Because he was holding onto her, Xie Ruhe could only push the wheelchair with one hand which looked kind of inconvenient. 

Shu Nian pretended not to care much and didn’t dare to look up at him for fear of him finding out about her thoughts. She gently broke away from his hand and then held onto him instead, saying softly: “I’ll hold onto you.” 

This should be alright.  

It was just to help him and there was no other motive in mind. 

If an old woman tripped beside her then she would go and help her up too so there was no need to overthink about their physical contact because she was just lending a helping hand. 

There! Was! No! Other motives!!!1 

Shu Nian tried very hard to convince herself to think that way. 

Noticing that Xie Ruhe was looking over at her, Shu Nian felt her throat close up. The brainwashing she was trying to do to herself just now seemed to be ineffective. She spoke without thinking, stumping over her words: “Are you, are you thirsty? Do you want some milk tea…” 

Hearing that, Xie Ruhe’s eyes moved to look at to the milk tea in her left hand. 

Shu Nian felt that what she said wasn’t quite right and opened her mouth to say something else. 

But Xie Ruhe had already looked away and his Adam’s apple rolled up and down: “You just drink it.” 

His sentence sounded like a tactful refusal to her offer. He had no intention to drink with her which felt like the same as Shu Nian unconsciously saying something.2 

He didn’t have any of those thoughts in the first place.  

“…” Shu Nian’s face burned.  

She didn’t know what she looked like right now and was afraid that she was blushing. Subconsciously, she pulled her scarf up but noticed that he didn’t look her way and was relieved. 

Then, as if it he was trying to make up for it. 

Xie Ruhe lowered his eyes and said: “I won’t drink it right now.” 

Shu Nian felt that the way she was acting right now wasn’t too good. 

But she couldn’t find what the problem was. This feeling was strangely familiar but it didn’t like she had experienced it before. It was more like she had heard it from someone else’s mouth and was relating to them.

She wracked her brain to recall what that person said but after a while she still couldn’t remember what it was. 

By the time they walked to the gate of the community building, Xie Ruhe was a little exhausted. 

Shu Nian noticed it quickly and had him sit in the wheelchair, pushing it forward by habit: “Then do you still need to do physical training every day like before?” 

“En.” 

“I’m quite free during this period.” Shu Nian felt a little guilty and the volume of her voice dropped. “It’s just… if you need (me) but it’s okay if you don’t either.” 

Xie Ruhe looked back at her. Because he was sitting down, he had to raise his head slightly and it seemed like he was seriously listening to her. 

But before Shu Nian finished speaking, he had already answered her. 

“I need (you).”3 

Shu Nian didn’t know if it was just her own illusion.  

But she felt that Xie Ruhe was a little different than the last time she saw him. 

“…” Shu Nian controlled her rapid breathing and finished everything she wanted to say. “That is, I’ll accompany you to get better. Didn’t I promise you before? I feel like I haven’t done much.” 

Xie Ruhe didn’t seem to mind very much: “Okay.” 

Xie Ruhe was holding Shu Nian’s milk tea and the bag of doughnuts she just bought. He casually glanced inside and saw that there were quite a few things inside and remembered that she said: “I bought six”. 

He didn’t continue the topic from before: “Why did you buy so many doughnuts?” 

Shu Nian was a little unable to respond at the sudden change of topic and replied a little foolishly. “I bought six so you can eat two, I can eat two and then Assistant Fang can eat two.” 

Xie Ruhe frowned when he heard the extra person being mentioned. 

But Shu Nian didn’t notice anything strange about him. When the doughnuts were brought up, she subconsciously looked at the bag again and licked her lips. 

She liked to eat desserts, candies, drink milk tea and hot chocolate. If she ate too much then she would feel sick, but if she didn’t eat any then she would constantly crave it. This was why when she went out, the most frequently visited place for her to go to was a dessert or cake shop. 

But Shu Nian was not rich and her salary wasn’t that high either s she gradually stopped going there. 

Because she was going to meet Xie Ruhe today, she felt like it wouldn’t be too good to appear empty handed. 

The two entered the building and waited for the elevator. 

Xie Ruhe’s face was stiff and he suddenly said a sentence: “I want to eat four.” 

“Ah.” Shu Nian questioned. “Doughnuts?” 

Xie Ruhe didn’t care how childish his behaviour was but he didn’t want her to always consider Feng Wencheng, an outsider every time she bought something. 

Anyway, it also made him extremely irritated. 

The elevator arrived and Shu Nian silently pushed him in. She reached out and pressed for the third floor but found it difficult to say the words she wanted. After a few seconds, she whispered. “Is three, okay?” 

The elevator door closed and in the small space, there was only the two of them.  

It seemed like anything they said would echo in the box.