A/N: I edited chapter 1. It went from orphan to complicated family circumstances. Actually it's been a while I had this idea in mind, but it's only recently when reading again the first chapter that I noticed my plans did not match up with what was written in chapter 1.

I'm eating cheap. Cheap is my life.

I might seem to have some money because I got a house in the middle of Seoul, but actually, that house is the only thing of value I own, except the headset, and it's not really mine, it's my family's property.

Anyway, I'm doing so while browsing the internet on my phone.

I'm refreshing my memories of today's run. If you wonder, yes, we're going for a record: we'll try to beat "Death Cave", a level 4 dungeon, faster than the current n°1 guild to show off a bit.

Well, showing off is a bit of my own personal goal, I don't know why others want to do it.

I get up.

Time to go!

The house isn't really big. From the entrance, you have access to the living room on the right and the kitchen a bit further. On the left are the bathroom and other utility rooms, and the furthest room is 20 meters away from the entrance, which is my room.

Essentially, the corridor is the main access to everything in the house.

And so, the scene of me going through the corridor multiple times could be seen from the entrance. Accelerated, that scene would make me look like a headless chicken.

Going to brush my teeth, going to piss, going back to my room, notice I forgot my phone and go back to the kitchen to get it…

All of that requires me to go through the corridor.

After a few minutes, I finally settled down on my bed, lying well in order to avoid any muscle pain I could have after a long dive, and put my headset on.

[...]

I've been waiting for 20 minutes.

Well, it's maybe my fault. I mean, I stopped my day farming earlier than usual due to my stress. I didn't want to be late.

The appointment is in 10 minutes, but someone MUST come before, right?

Anyway, let's check my stats.

╔════════════════════╗

║Heaven-Defying Paradise...::║

║Name: ImperialShadow:::::::║

║Level: 8::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║HP: 42/42:::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║MP: 34/34::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Stats::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Opportunism: 3499:::::::::::::║

║Scheme: 1384:::::::::::::::::::::║

║Intelligence: 1125::::::::::::::::║

║Wisdom: 820.0001::::::::::::::║

║Luck: 513:::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Will: 350::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Comprehension: 125:::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Inventory::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Sticky bombs x50:::::::::::::::║

║Random Gift Pack x1:::::::::::║

║Broken Sword x1:::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Genome (14 points)::::::::::::║

║Sheep Transformation::::::::║

║Soul Collection:::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Skills (127 points):::::::::::::::║

║Slow (10):::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Palm Push (9):::::::::::::::::::::║

║Thick Skin (7):::::::::::::::::::::║

║Bite (1):::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Sharp Eye(1,MAX):::::::::::::::║

╚════════════════════╝

I'm SO HAPPY that the status window doesn't have the place to show the entire name of the guild. [1]

Somehow, after level 2, the HP & MP don't increase much. Well, they still increase a lot, but the rate of increase is lower. Also, it becomes much harder to level up a single time.

At some point, the base stats stopped showing up, having 0.0001+820 in the Wisdom stat would be shameful.

It might seem like some stats are lagging behind, but it's only an impression.

Anyway, as you can see, I got a new genom skill and two new skills.

The new genom skill is Soul Collection, which totally proves that my family was shady. My family. Not me. Just my family at some point in time.

For the two new skills, there is Palm Push, which is from the "Daoist" skill tree I unlocked when observing Soul. It's where I got Sharp Eye from too.

And, the best for the end, I got Slow. That skill allows me to slow a small part of space to a certain extent, it's very useful. I'm probably the only one in the world with a skill leveled up to level 10. The price of leveling up a skill is exponential, in the same way as how the more skills you have, the harsher the conditions for getting one.

Apart from someone like me who spends his entire life playing the game, no one could have enough time to level up a skill to level 10 since the release of the game.

╔══════════════════════════════════╗

║Sheep Transformation::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║In ancient times there existed a clan with:::::::::::║

║with abilities known as Transformers. They died:║

║quickly and disappeared of the evolution chain::::║

║because the two last representants died quickly,::║

║one was able to transform into corpse, so died:::::║

║while Transforming, the other was able to:::::::::::║

║transform into an apple and was eaten by Adam,::║

║becoming the first case of cannibalism known:::::║

║PS: Costs 5 points per change of form:::::::::::::::::║

╚══════════════════════════════════╝

╔══════════════════════════════════╗

║Soul collection:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║In ancient times, there existed a clan called::::::::║

║Soul Collectors. They were known to kill others:::║

║for their powers:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Though it was well known they had huge::::::::::::║

║collections of souls, no one ever found where::::::║

║they were stored::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║PS: Each use of a soul costs 10 points::::::::::::::::::║

╚══════════════════════════════════╝

╔═════════════════════════════════╗

║Slip::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║A skill from the crossover event with::::::::::::::║

║Smartphone [2]::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║The target, whatever its level, will slip and::::::║

║fall without fail and suffer 125% of the CC:::::::║

║effects common people would suffer::::::::::::::║

║━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Evolutions:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║None:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Costs 5 skill points::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Active::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╚═════════════════════════════════╝

╔═════════════════════════════════╗

║Palm Push::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Pushes your target with a power equivalent:::::║

║to 88% of your strength::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Evolutions:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║None:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Costs 3 skill points::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Active::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╚═════════════════════════════════╝

╔═════════════════════════════════╗

║Thick Skin (32/1000)::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║With great powers comes great responsibility…║

║Reduces all CC effects by 64%:::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Reduces your blush coefficient by 64%::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Evolutions::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Slackface::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Worst bastard in the world:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Emotionless Machine::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║???:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Costs 1 point per activation:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Duration: 4 Seconds:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╚═════════════════════════════════╝

I still don't understand what the 32/1000 in thick skin is for.

I noticed the effect percentage doubles each time, I don't want to take the risk of the blush coefficient reduction going above 100%. You never know, I might end up looking like an undead.

╔═════════════════════════════════╗

║Bite::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Some pokemons have stronger attacks than::::║

║others. Don't worry you can still learn::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Evolutions:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║None:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Costs nothing:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Active::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╚═════════════════════════════════╝

╔═════════════════════════════════╗

║Sharp Eye:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║We all love to steal from LoPH::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Depending on your and your target's level,::::::║

║gain 0 to 100% of Comprehension of the target║

║Opens ergonomics windows around the flaws::║

║and details about the spotted target when :::::::║

║saying "Flaws":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Evolutions:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║None:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Costs from nothing to dying, going through:::::║

║fainting::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Passive:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╚═════════════════════════════════╝

Is it me or did the system correct Sharp Eye's cost description since I first saw it? [3]

-Hey!

SOUL! You save me, yet again!

What a time to be alive!

-Hey Soul! [4]

Getting friends, having them show up at a rendezvous point. It's almost as if I had a social life!

Anyway, it's no time to get all emotional.

A small head shows up from behind Soul.

-Hi…

Loli Pinky! Uh, I mean… PinkyKitty. Yeah.

-Hey Pinky!

Still as timid as ever, I see.

We started talking animatedly.

Well, me and Soul, at least. But Pinky still placed a few sentences. I guess she's getting more confident with herself now.

-Hey!

-Hey Darta.

Now comes Dartagnan.

In the end, though he joined us at the last moment, he integrated pretty well in the guild. Actually, even SilentVoice, that chatterbox, did.

Talking about the guild, I closed it and disabled invites. It's first a group of friends before anything else.

And let's say that maybe I became the strongest player in the world and I really really really don't wish people to see the full name of the guild.

Right now it's very convenient because it's cut in every menu, but at some point anyone who joins could see the full name in the guild window.

It can be seen in global announcements too, but when you do a record, you can set the group you do this record on behalf of, so it's okay, I can just type "Guild Heaven-Defying Paradise" and omit the last two words!

Talking about words, I can hear that Silent arrived.

-Everyone!

It's time for a motivational speech. I always dreamt of doing one!

So let's see, what do they usually say?

So first, something to lighten up the mood.

-Even though it doesn't look like it, we spent many hours training in that dungeon.

Next, a "I believe in you" thing.

-I believe everyone knows what they're supposed to do and will do so without fail.

Next, saying the names of everyone with a camera plan to each of them.

-So now... Soul! Pinky! Darta! Silent! Let's go clear that dungeon and make the name "Heaven-Defying Paradise" known!

Next we need to start the dungeon before the good mood goes away.

-Guys, do you think he can do a more awful speech next time?

Silent! I know my back is facing you, but can hear you! Don't do this!

-Don't worry, I'm sure he's going to prepare it next time.

Soul! I thought you were my bro!

-Um, well… I believe in Shadow!

Pinky! You're an angel!

-I believe he can write a good speech.

Pinky! Noooo!!!!

-You know-

-Darta.

-Hmm?

-Shut. Up.

Let's start the dungeon.

To think my pride would be hurt so much just by opening a menu.

Come on, I don't have any experience doing speeches you know?

I just got inspired by anime!

I'm never doing a speech again.

-Anyway, let's go clear that fuċkɨnġ dungeon.

[...]

Death Cave's name is pretty easy to understand as soon as you get a bit deeper inside.

But for the start of the dungeon…

You run to avoid fighting the first skeletons to win time.

It might seem impossible to most, but we use a simple strategy.

-Pinky!

I carry Pinky on my back.

-Fire! Fire!

And she just puts fire everywhere behind us so they can't follow us. She just can't use most of her magic skills while moving. So we're imitating the style of moving turrets.

By the time the fire is down, we'll be too far in the dungeon for them to catch up to us or they will be dead after trying to go through it.

As for the arrows of the skeleton archers…

-Slow! Slow! Slow!

I slow down their tip. So either the whole arrow is slowed, either the rest of the arrow pushes too much on the tip, which breaks it while the broken half continues its way without tip.

In both cases, we're not in the arrows' way anymore.

The second step is spiders.

They are immune to most CC, and they have a lot of PV.

Fortunately, they pretty much hold their aggro until the person in question dies.

Some other groups would use that to kite them to death, but our group is only constituted of strong individuals. If Dartagnan and Silent weren't strong, I wouldn't have let them stay in the guild after its creation, actually.

So right before entering their range of detection, everyone but Silent stops moving.

Once Silent has taken the aggro of all the spiders, we rush through them.

Next is the Spider Queen. It's basically a bigger spider with more damages, more health, faster, but without the CC immunity.

So I just use Slip while Dartagnan uses Keep, which basically freezes someone's status for a duration depending on the points used. Which means that the Slip CC is not cleared after the Spider boss fell, so it just falls for all the Keep duration and without ever being able to come after us.

The thing is, spiders' aggro never resets until the death of the target, so Dartagnan needs to use the right amount of skill points so we won't be bothered.

But we have another strategy.

Dartagnan used enough skill points for 30 seconds only.

Next is the dungeon boss' room. The Lich.

The thing with the Lich is that he has a lot of sure-hit skills. They are pretty weak, but as he has a lot of HP, he can wipe out parties pretty easily.

That's where the spider comes in.

In order to help us decrease the Lich's PV faster and to take the Lich' sure-hit skills in our stead, we use the spider.

One of the particularities of the Lich is it only takes the aggro once hit.

It's probably made to let the players the time to heal, recover and prepare, but here it's advantageous.

It takes exactly 45 seconds to get to the boss room, the spider moves twice as fast as we do, and the Lich can take the aggro of another mob.

So we just have the one with the aggro of the spider get behind the Lich through it.

It makes sure that the Spider Queen hits the Lich, because its first attack has a big starting animation and triggers right when the player is before the Lich, not behind.

To optimize the run, I am the one with the Spider Queen's aggro.

I can CC, and make sure that the Spider Queen is killed by the Lich right before we kill the Lich. Though the Lich has a lot of sure-hit skills which can wear a player's HP down, it isn't near enough for a boss such as the Spider Queen, but the Lich still has some big attack skills. I just need to make sure they hit or do not hit the Spider Queen when I need it.

Darta, Soul and Pinky are charged with focusing the Lich so its HP can decrease as fast as possible. They also need to use as little CC skills as possible, which excludes Pinky's strongest skill, which creates one big ȧss explosion that can one shot players of the same level. Still, these are the individuals with the highest DPS of us all.

To kite the Spider Queen with a lower speed than it while at the same time making sure the Spider Queen kites the Lich, I'm using several skills.

From time to time, I use slip on the Lich, to interrupt an attack I don't want to see landing on the Spider Queen.

I use slow on the Spider Queen's legs to stop her from moving when I want her to be hit.

If she is about to hit me and I can't avoid it, I use Palm Push. In combination with my passive Thick Skin, I can cancel out most of the CC while ignoring the damages. I only slide a few meters back and can push back her leg.

All of that might seem easy, but it's a lot to take into account.

If I didn't increase my Opportunism, Strength, Scheme, Intelligence and Wisdom stats, I wouldn't be able to do any of these.

I couldn't multitask without Intelligence, I couldn't elaborate such an intricate plan without Wisdom and Scheme. I wouldn't be able to react so easily to everything that happens without Opportunism, I wouldn't be able to push back the Spider Queen's leg using Palm Push if I didn't have such a high Strength.

All of it was gained through hours of hard work and farming, which is what gave me such abilities.

I'd still love to know how the game can make our mental stats actually affect our thinking during playtime.

But anyway…

-Looks like it's a win!

I use the last slows on the Spider Queen while the Lich lands a killing blow.

At that moment, Soul, Pinky and Dartagnan use their biggest skills.

They have CC on these, which is why they were unable to use them.

First Soul, who has the fastest, uses Slash, a fast sword skill that looks like it could cut space itself, and projects the lich to Dartagnan.

Dartagnan, with an incredibly elegant 360° turn on his toes, uses Crush with his 1.5 meter long battlehammer to throw back the Lich toward Pinky.

Pinky, who looks like she couldn't hold it in anymore, uses her explosion spell to finish the mob.

<Congratulations! You beat the n°1 record of the dungeon, what is your party's name?>

I type happily, without mistake this time, Heaven-Defying Paradise, and validate.

In the global chat is written:

<Congratulations! Heaven-Defying Paradise cleared the Death Cave in 6:58 without losing a single member! The previous record was 10:06>

Never been so happy to beat a record to death!

[...]

I discovered you could get drunk inside a game. And that's great because it's exactly the same except there will be no hangover!

-Guys! It's time for me to leave! Seeya!

We're in a neutral zone, so I can do a clean disconnect. Which means I can connect wherever I want next login, I won't have to login too far from my farming zone.

[...]

The more time passes, the more I'm using the play-asleep function of the diving equipment. It's nice and all, but eventually, as tired as I can be, I'll eventually be unable to sleep 24h a day. Which is why I set some schedule to myself. At night, I play in sleeping mode. The day, I play in awake mode.

I open my eyes. I'm in my bed.

Right now is… I move my head to get some visual clues in the chaos of my room.

1pm. 1pm and 7 minutes actually. I played asleep, so it couldn't be too far from the night.

Recently, there's been talk about the game company planning to add PvP arenas.

I don't know what's the hardest, winning against Soul or getting up off my bed at this exact moment.

Let's just say I'll beat Soul easily, let's get up and get some fricking nutrition.

[...]

Alright, karma always strike backs, right. But come on, karma-san, can you please strike a bit softer?

Walking out of your bedroom to find your front door open is okay.

Finding a thief in your house is still okay.

But why the fuċk does that thief has a gun???

-It's Korea, not fuċkɨnġ hollywood!

The thief spun around. I don't understand, even though I was so discreet while shooting my thoughts out...

Thief: W-W-What are you doing here? Stay back! Or I'll have to shoot you! I will shoot you!

Was he the one pointing a gun at me or is it the opposite. Because it clearly looks like it's the opposite.

He was shaking more than an ȧss in a music video.

-Man, you probably don't need me to teach you your job, but normally, you're supposed to not be seen. And that gun is really, really, giving your position away as soon as you fire it.

-What does that have to do with you? Mind your own business! Remember who has the gun here!

I never noticed how hungry I was when I went out of diving, because I usually eat within a minute, and this guy has been holding me back for almost two minutes. I have to do something about that situation.

-Let's just do this, you get to pick items in the house, I get to eat my breakfast because I'm hella hungry right now. I'm not interested by material goods anyway.

I'm going to the kitchen, he's following me with his gun. I slightly take out my phone from my pocket, just enough so the camera gets out, and double taps the power buŧŧon to take a picture.

-You know, I'm not stupid enough to call for help when someone with a gun is standing 10 meters away from me, right.

I'm totally going to send the picture I just took with my phone to a friend and ask him to call the police, though.

-...

What should I eat…

-Did you know I can't express the entirety of my culinary arts with a gun pointed at me?

-....

-Oh, and fuċk, it'll be milk & cereal.

[...]

In the end, he just wouldn't get his gun away from my body.

Now I'm following him with a bowl in my left hand and a spoon in my right hand, as he's taking stuff from my home, all of that while still pointing his gun at me.

That guy is an olympic-level athlete. He's been holding something this heavy pretty steadfastly, in the exact same arm position.

Either he did a lot of fapping, either he just misplanned his career.

I'm taking another spoon of cereals from my bowl.

-Did you know you could be world champion with that kind of arm strength? Crunch!

Wow, it's still crunchy! It's been more than 20 minutes he's been rummaging through my home, though.

I should buy the same next time.

He's doing a really good job at ignoring me. A lot of people would have had a mental breakdown and left running after 20 minutes of me trash talking, especially people as unprepared to kill as him. But I have three problems with that:

1) He's getting close to my room, and seeing how he saw the 1000 Won bill rolled in my manually hollowed sofa's foot, there's no way he will miss the huge electronic installation in my room.

2) All that stuff in my room was my guarantee I could still live as a neet for a few years by reselling it.

3) I'm almost running out of cereals.

I need to get him to flee before he sees the last bit of my depleting fortune.

A greedy thief is the last thing I need.

-...and this is why the String Theory is much more trustworthy than Loop Quantum Gravity in my opinion. And you? Which theory do you tend to believe in?

-...

Ok, it's really getting urgent. He's going for the door, my life for my diving gear!

-Hey, did you know that if, it just happened to-

Something something something something oh a round time what a rare chance.

-be exactly 1pm and half which is the time some policemen go through my street, which means it is a perfect time to-

I'm getting closer to him, he stops his step, it seems like I distracted him enough.

Now I need to scare him enough so he fires.

Let's jump on him.

-fire at me!

BANG!

He he, I jumped to the side, there's no way his bullet will touch me.

-What the fuċk, who are you, Lucky Luke?

The bullet went right to my head, there's no way I'll survive this.

These were my last heroic words before the blackout.

Ding!

<The player synchronized a skill by a special action <Slow>>

[1] It wasn't even our will when we named the guild as a slip up. But it's even better that the "oh fuċk" part is not shown, people would still know the guild by their name without the slip up.

[2] I'll never ever write the complete original name of that shit. Fuck. You had one job and it was to have some culture so you could understand that reference (or just search "smartphone novel" on google).

[3] Really sorry at the time I wrote something, LuA misunderstood and corrected it to something that was still wrong and in the end it's only now I had to do some windows again that I noticed it was wrong.

[4] I just spent an hour doing the MC's status windows so it's coherent with what could happen. I had to think about what happened and what will happen. Please understand I REALLY don't want to do all his teammates too when it will only be useful for a quarter of a chapter. At least tell yourself I'll do so for the Arc 2.

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