Desire Of The Call Girl

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I returned to the room, when the afternoon had turned into a quiet night. Grandma Lecy words made me wonder, what exactly is going on in this Family? why does everything confuse me at all ?

I opened the balcony door from my room, looking around from the balcony. It's already late but Edwards hasn't come back yet, where is he? did he stay at Violet's house?

I paced back and forth arround, looked at my watch and then grabbed my phone. Tried to call Edwards, but the number was off. once again I sighed softly, why does it feel so bad huh? when you live with a man who doesn't really expect you to be there.

I sat on the balcony with a worried face, did I make the wrong decision? about everything that happened about this ? this isn't good life i think.

My eyes stare at the moon that shines beautifully in the sky, the moon is bright enough and makes all arround me feel good. I was silent, once again I was silent with a situation that really made me restless, Dear God.. Are You there? Seeing myself asking to be met with my parents, is that wrong? I really want to live happily, together with my mother, father and my harmonious family. does everything I ask have to go through a winding road like this?

why does it feel so bad? I live in a situation that is everything go wrong, I live in a state that leads me to keep fighting without stopping. My heart only wants one thing, happiness and a quiet life. live in a place without any major problems, But why should I be trapped in this big dark mansion?

The world isn't really kind to me., the world really likes to joke and make me feel worse.

The sound of the door opening made me turn quickly and get up from my seat, I saw Edwards who came in with a straight face. I walked to him, helped him take the bag he was carrying and gave him a glass of water, he was silent. Let me do what I always do to him, I help him undress one by one and tell him to go to the bathroom, I prepare warm water for him, His eyes were looking straight at the wall. what's wrong with him? His body was quite warm and his face was very pale. is he sick?

I let him shower by himself, choosing to take his dirty clothes elsewhere. Then I went out the door, called one of the maids to bring some fever medicine. The waiter nodded and took what I ordered.

I went back to the room, I prepared the sleeping clothes for him then waited for him for a while, when he came out without a towel. that's when I get a towel and help him dry, he sits beside the bed. His eyes were already looking into mine, but I didn't ask anything. I know he was in trouble, that's why I keep quiet and welcome it. That's why I now help him get dressed and make sure his hair is dry before going to bed.

Everything I do with a pretty sad heart, what's wrong with Edwards really? did Violet do something wrong again? did Violet do something to him again?

a knock on the door made me walk over there and seeing the maid I had ordered, I took the medicine from her and brought it to Edwards.

"Here take the medicine first, so you can sleep comfortably." I told Edwards, he just nodded and did what I said.

He took his medicine, but his eyes were still looking at me. eyes that were too empty and seemed lifeless at all.

"Thank you." Edwards said hoarsely, I just smiled straight to him and patted the back of his hand gently.

"Don't say things like that, it's my duty". I said slowly. I sat beside him still drying his hair so it dries quickly and he can sleep soundly.

"I want to ask you a few things." Edwards said.

"Just tell me, what's wrong?" I asked in a low voice. Edwards looked me in the eyes better now, he seemed to sigh slowly then hugged me tightly.

The hug he gave me suddenly shocked me, what's the matter? why is Edwards so sad?

"Are you doing all of this really just to get money and fame from my Family's good name? Are you doing all this just to take advantage of me? Are you really sincere? or is it just a compulsion?" Edwards question was able to make me speechless, actually I don't know why I'm doing all this.

especially about life which is quite complicated, about reasons that I shouldn't prioritize. I gently stroked his hard back, his body was muscular and looked strong. but I only see sadness in him, what's wrong? why now ?Everything entered forcefully in my brain and painfully exited. No one knows someone's mentality, what about Edwards' own mentality?

"Everything I do, it all depends on how you look at it. Am I just using you? Maybe yes, do I just want money and fame from your family? Maybe yes. But.. This world can't be seen from one side only, I do all of this for a reason, maybe reasons that are not very important to some people, or not very important to you. It's just that our different ways of thinking sometimes cause a lot of misunderstandings". 

"Edwards.. Actually I am a person who always thinks just about the profit, I want to live if there is more money. but did you know? when i hug someone so tightly like this, when i smile at him, when i'm always by his side and make sure that someone is okay. That's when my conscience as a Human emerged". 

"I want other people's lives to be as happy as mine, I want other people to feel the warmth as I feel the warmth".

"I want that person to know that the world keeps turning and sadness will pass. In fact I have good intentions to please others, although behind those good intentions I have many reasons. But do those reasons matter now? See how A Farmer grows his vegetables with love? pay attention day and night and make sure all the plant is fertile and fresh? What did he do all that for?".

"because All of that, the farmer can earn more money if the plants are fertile and fresh, that's the reason he planted it. But do you know how much he loves the plants he grows? His love is truly extraordinary, His love is really very sincere. That's how I feel for you right now.."

"I have reasons, but I do everything for you With a sincere heart. I want to make sure you're okay, I want you to be happy like most people out there.. Do you believe me?" I said at length.

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